by Ada Marie
“Shhhhh. It’ll be over soon.”
***
Gasping awake, Annabella was drenched in her own sweat. Her nightmares were common – she’d been having them since the night it happened – but lately they seemed to occur more often than not. The twisted memories came flooding back and she found herself sobbing violently.
Gripping her pillow, she held on for dear life and pretended it was her mother. For one moment, she pretended it was killing her. She pretended that it wasn’t a secret and she’d let her mother inside, revealing her torment.
She just wanted her mother to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. She wanted her to say that no one would ever hurt her again. The pain was terrible as she got out of bed and looked out her window.
It was daylight, and she was beyond thankful that the night was gone.
After showering and dressing, she decided to go for a walk, and found herself crying in the park at a picnic table. She hated who she was becoming. She hated the person he was turning her into. She hated dresses, skirts and anything else girly. She hated everything about herself. It didn’t matter how many years would go by, she’d never be able to forget that horrible day in the locker room. She’d never be able to forget the filth she felt even months after.
“Are you alright?” a familiar, deep voice asked.
Looking up, Annabella quickly wiped her tears, noticing the guy who’d been so vicious cold after spilling his food on her stood by a tree.
“I’m fine,” she said, moving from the table so she wasn’t facing him. She wiped her eyes where she hoped he couldn’t see.
“Hey, you don’t look like you’re fine,” he observed, walking to so he was sitting across from her on the picnic table. His eyes bored into her with a sympathetic look. There wasn’t anything he hated more than seeing a girl cry.
“Here, use these.” He thrust a small packet of tissues under her nose, and without fighting him on it she took them and wiped her eyes.
“Do you always carry tissues in your pocket so you can come rescue some damsel in distress?”
“I might.” He smirked, giving her a wink. “Listen, I really want to apologize, for yesterday. I acted like a total dick for something that was my fault. It’s not me, I’m actually a pretty decent guy.” He apologized, sounding sincere enough. He just wanted to make things right; he was sure this girl hadn’t deserved to be treated the way he’d treated her the night before.
“It’s okay,” Annabella assured him, saying anything in order to get away from him. She was a mental mess right now, and she honestly didn’t want anyone seeing her in this state, even if it was just a stranger.
“Here,” he said, handing her a pink iPod, exactly like the one he’d ruined. Annabella’s eyes began to widen at the sight. He’d bought her a new iPod. This little meeting couldn’t have been a coincidence. Had he followed her? She began to feel uneasy and sat on the bench.
“Why would you buy that for me?” Annabella whispered.
“I ruined your iPod and then acted like a complete jerk about it. And I’m sorry for the way I treated you. I had a bad day, and maybe I just took that out on you.” he said.
“I can’t accept that though. I mean you barely know me – I mean how did you even find me here?”
“We live in a really small town; all I had to do was ask around and I found your house. Except I saw you walking here, so I just followed you, and I know that sounds creepy, but I can promise you I’m not that guy. I just wanted to apologize and right my wrong from last night.”
“You followed me?” Annabella asked, fear bubbling inside.
“I did. It’s not what you think; I wasn’t stalking you. I just wanted to apologize and give you this.” Travis explained. “Please take it; if you don’t I will make it my personal mission to find you every single day and beg you to take it,” Travis joked, his green eyes full of amusement.
“I really can’t accept that,” Annabella repeated, despite the fact that her iPod was extremely important to her. Like poetry, music was a coping mechanism for dealing with the awful cards she’d been handed.
“Please take it.” He begged her, shifting from his seat to stand on his knees. “If you don’t, I’ll have to see you every day, and follow you like a lost puppy until you accept this gift that I graciously picked out just for you.”
Annabella couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of his statement. “Fine, I’ll take it, but I will pay you back for this. I’m only going to take it so you don’t have to end up in jail for being a stalker.”
“So can I ask you something?” Travis asked, moving from the ground. Ever since meeting her, he wanted to know her. She just seemed intriguing and different than other the other girls her age, including Marissa. Marissa was the girl that shattered Travis’s heart. Ever since dating her, he hadn’t been able to see another girl as more than a one night stand.
“What is it?” Annabella asked, wondering what in the world she was still doing there. She didn’t communicate with people; she tended to stay to herself, especially when it came to people of the opposite sex. They were animals, right?
So why couldn’t she will herself to leave the park.
“Why did you move here?” Travis asked, sitting next to her on the bench.
Annabella began to fidget with her oversized sweater. She was hurt in the most violent and horrible way. That’s why she moved here. How could she possibly tell that to anyone – a stranger no less?
“Personal reasons,” Annabella said softly, trying anything to get him to leave. She couldn’t handle someone being so close to her. In fact, she hated it. Putting space between them, Annabella got off of the bench and began to pace back and forth. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable sharing with a stranger.”
“I’m Travis,” he introduced himself, offering her a hand. “What’s your name?”
“Annabella.”
“See, now we don’t have to be strangers anymore, so what kind of personal reasons?” Travis asked. He was surprised how interested he was in her. She seemed different, she didn’t throw herself at him, and he liked that. There hadn’t been a girl he met who hadn’t crushed on him in such a long time. Or maybe that was just his cockiness.
“My dad got a job offer. It was better than the one he’d had in Tampa, plus my parents thought it would be better for me.” She finally stated, not entirely sure why she was revealing all of this to a stranger.
“Better for you how?” Travis asked. Annabella was almost grateful when her phone began to ring in her pocket. When she looked at the caller ID, a picture of her best friend from Tampa appeared. Aubrey.
“I’ll let you get that. Again, I’m really sorry for all the things I said, and I hope to see you around,” Travis admitted. Before he could stop himself, he was gone.
“Hello?” Annabella answered, not wanting to face anything in her past.
“It’s about time you answered. It’s been weeks since you’ve called,” Aubrey hissed at her harshly.
Annabella and Aubrey met when they were six, and they always had the exact same classes all throughout grade school. They were each other’s wing-girl in time of need. They shared everything together, until recently when Annabella began shutting everyone out, especially her best friend.
“I’m sorry Aubrey. I’ve just been busy getting settled,” Annabella lied. She couldn’t face the wrath of her best friend right now. She wanted more than anything to tell her everything, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.
“It’s okay; I’ve just been so worried about you Bell. You’re my best friend one day, then the next you’re a completely different person,” Aubrey observed sadly. She missed her friend, in every sense of the word.
Aubrey had been the first person to notice her change. She stopped hanging out, she always skipp
ed lunch, and she even stopped responding to the texts Aubrey sent her a million times a day. She called her out on it one day, telling her that she needed to get her act together before she destroyed everything good in her life, but Annabella just didn’t care.
“I know that, and I’m sorry, but I’m okay. I promise,” Annabella tried to sound happy, but the crack in her voice said otherwise. Lucky for her, Aubrey didn’t notice
“I miss you so much, so many things have happened, and you’re just not here to share them.
“I miss you too. I wish you could come visit,” Annabella said honestly. And she meant it. Maybe not anytime soon – she still wasn’t ready to face her – but she did want to see her friend. As much as she hated the thought of ever going back to her hometown, she missed her friends. She had no one in Chandler and that made everything worse. It was her own fault in a way; she was the one who chose not to go to a public school to finish up high school. She took the online route and graduated almost two months earlier than the public system did.
“Me too. Listen, I have to run, but promise me that you’ll text me later?” Aubrey demanded. Annabella could tell she was serious.
“I promise Aubrey. Tell everyone I said hi,” Annabella told her best friend. Then she switched her phone off and began the walk home.
***
Sitting on couch in his garage, Travis began thinking about Annabella for what felt like the millionth time, yet he couldn’t understand why. He literally just met her. He wasn’t sure if it was the fact that she wore clothes that were five sizes too big for her, or if it was her ability to resist him. Every girl he met since he started hitting the gym at fourteen threw themselves at him, but she didn’t. She seemed to be oblivious to his looks, and that fascinated him. It drew him to her. He knew from that moment he had to know her.
“Hey.” A woman’s voice called from the doorway while Travis checked Facebook on his phone. When he looked up, Marissa leaned against the doorjamb. She wore a tank top, which revealed her belly button, and a red, leather mini skirt that completely threw Travis off, and not in the good way. Several months passed by since Travis ended their relationship, yet she didn’t seem to get the clue. She wouldn’t stop calling and dropping by.
“What are you doing here, Marissa?” Travis asked turning all of his attention back to his phone.
“I came to see you. I miss you,” she responded, sitting on the couch next to him.
“Well that’s funny because the feeling isn’t mutual.”
“You don’t mean that Travy,” Marissa said, using the nickname he hated so much. It was the one she’d given him the first time they were ever intimate together. He refused to call it making love because even though he’d cared about her, he never loved her. Even more, it was only to be remembered as decent sex, not that he was sure he could even call it that anymore.
“I do mean that. With every fiber of my being,” he replied just as Marissa ripped the phone from his hand and sat on his lap. She began to kiss him.
He didn’t fight her off at first, in fact he felt like giving in, but then Annabella somehow surfaced in his mind. He couldn’t stand the girl he was kissing.
“Get the hell off me,” Travis said, pulling away.
“What’s the matter with you? You know you want me,” Marissa told him, her tone full of confidence.
“That’s just it: I don’t want you. You know exactly why we ended and nothing has changed. Get the fuck out before I throw you out!” He didn’t care that he was being cruel.
“Fine, have it your way. But we both know that you’ll come crying back, on your knees for all of this,” Marissa said, sliding a hand down her body.
“You’re delusional. Goodbye Marissa.” Travis dismissed her with a laugh and shut the door in her face.
“Travis what’s all the screaming about?” When he turned around, his mother was standing at the door that led back to the house.
“Sorry Mom; Marissa was just here,” Travis stated, quite annoyed. He didn’t know what else he could do to make her understand just how little he wanted to do with her. If she understood, maybe she’d vanish from his life for good.
“Yeah, well I hope you told her if she ever comes back here that she’d be arrested for harassment and trespassing,” Casey said in a cold voice. She didn’t like Marissa as far as she could throw her from day one.
“I told her not to come back. What are you doing home so early?”
“I wasn’t feeling well. What do you want for dinner?” she asked, waving for Travis to come into the house.
“I don’t care. Anything you make is fine with me.”
“I checked the balance to the card today, by the way. You’re great at saving, so care to tell me what in the world you spent a hundred and fifty dollars on?” She sounded curious.
“Remember that girl at the restaurant last night?” Travis asked, not sure if he wanted to have this conversation with his mother. She’d just end up saying that what he did proved he was a good kid, but he wasn’t. He was a screw-up and that’s all he’d ever be.
“I do,” she said calmly.
“When I knocked her over last night I spilled soda all over her iPod and it was ruined. I owed her. If you’re worried about the money, I’ll put it back as soon as I get my paycheck,” Travis offered.
“You will do no such thing! I was just curious because it’s not like you to buy things for that much. Baby, I’m a lawyer and I make great money. I don’t want you giving me yours. It’s for you to do with what you wish,” Casey said.
“I know, I just want you to know how much I appreciate you,” he said, his tone serious.
“I do know that. You’re my greatest blessing. Your father and I had never been happier than the day we brought you home,” she said with a smile. Travis could tell she was traipsing down memory lane.
Travis flinched at her statement. If his father had been so happy, where was he now?
Four
When she woke up the next morning, Annabella wanted nothing more than to just hide away and lock the door. She didn’t want to get up and face the day that was waiting for her, but she knew it wasn’t an option. It was like she could feel herself slipping, and the more she slipped away, the less she cared about anything. She was numb and cold, and the warmth of the sun was gone.
Getting out of bed, she made her way to her bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. She hated the person who was looking back at her. She hated everything that she let happen. She should have never stayed late that night; everything would have been fine if she hadn’t been so stupid.
She began to cry as she turned away from the mirror. How did she get to this point; when did she begin to despise her own reflection?
She wanted to forget it all. Oh how she wanted to run away and never look back. She wanted to hop in her Maserati and fly down the road as fast as she could go, but going one hundred miles an hour couldn’t take it away.
It wasn’t temporary; it was a permanent hell, and she’d live in it for the rest of her miserable life. Everything just seemed less important than it all used to be. She rarely cared about anything these days.
A knock on the door distracted her from her depressing thoughts. She wiped away her tears and walked over to the door. After a deep breath, Annabella opened the door, coming face-to-face with her big brother.
“Ryan?” Annabella squeaked in shock.
“Hey baby girl,” Ryan replied, pulling his sister to him for hug. He’d always called her baby girl, for as long as she could remember.
Ryan was eight years older than her, but they were always close. He’d always included her in everything he did while they were growing up until he was eighteen and moved out. Even then, he was always there for his sister.
There wasn’t a moment that went by where Annabella ev
er doubted that her brother would be there for her. Even with their age difference, Ryan and Annabella were as close as a brother and sister could be. They were best friends, and he’d kill anyone who tried to hurt her, which was another huge reason why she couldn’t tell him.
“What are you doing here Ry?” she asked, still shocked.
“Are you not happy to see your older brother?” Ryan asked playfully, giving her a hug as he pretended to be hurt by her question. It was typical Ryan.
“Of course I’m glad you’re here, but last time I checked you were in Florida,” she stated. With him, she added in her head.
“Well mom and dad wanted me to come keep you company when they go to that business thing in California tomorrow. They’ll be gone for a few days and they didn’t want you to be alone. I brought you a surprise,” Ryan told her with a light in his eyes.
Annabella couldn’t help but smile as her brother led her down the stairs. When she got to the kitchen her eyes went wide. The sight that stood before her was the last thing she’d expected to see. Standing in front of her were her three best friends, Aubrey, Chelsea and Maxie.
Next to them stood her most recent boyfriend.
Before they’d dated they were best friends. They’d met growing up, through their parents. She wasn’t sure what to make of any of this. She was happy to see them of course, but seeing them just brought her to that night. She wasn’t ready to see them. She wanted to bolt, to run away for the next week and not come back.
But how could she do that without hinting that something was wrong? Luckily for her, she had a meeting to get to.
“Are you just going to stand there, or you going to say hi?” Aubrey smirked. Her long blonde hair was held up in a ponytail and her green eyes were pinned on Annabella. She was wearing blue jean shorts, flip-flops and a green tank top.