‘True. But alternatively, sometimes the the truth is staring us in the face and we just don’t see it, for whatever reason.’
And with that said, Grace wriggled herself into a more comfortable position, rested her head back and closed her eyes.
Fifty kilometres out from Miners Ridge she spoke, startling me because I’d thought she’d been dozing.
‘I’m hoping Aaron will be pleased to see me,’ she said, sitting up straighter and flicking imaginary lint off of her tailored trousers.
I glanced sideways at her. ‘Why wouldn’t he be pleased?’
‘Oh,’ she said, the word coming out like a sigh. ‘The whole thing is just too out there.’
I waited for her to go on, and when she didn’t, I prompted.
‘I’m not sure I know what you mean,’ I said. ‘I suppose it hasn’t been the usual boy meets girl, they go on a date, or two, decide they like each other and take it from there.’
‘No, it’s been anything but,’ she agreed.
‘But then you are both well past the first flush of youth … You’ve both had other relationships.’
‘Yeah, true, and the time we spent together when he came to London was the best. When he left it was awful. This time it’ll be me leaving, and I’m worried, Mum, worried I’ll make decisions in the heat of the moment and I’ll regret them later.’
She shifted restlessly in the seat. ‘Like this, me being here … I demanded they let me take leave as soon as I heard Aaron’s dad was dying. The only way for me to have got here any quicker was to quit without notice. Career suicide! And would you believe, I contemplated doing it.’
Grace leaned forward, angling herself so she could look at me, her expression beseeching. When I laughed she flopped back in her seat and gave a frustrated groan.
‘What can I say, sweetie? We all make decisions with our hearts instead of our heads. Aaron’s a decent bloke, and I like him very much. And I love you and I trust you. Whatever choices and decisions you make, they’ll be the right ones at the time.
‘If circumstances change, don’t get caught up in regret, just make new choices and decisions that are right for then.’
‘Is that what you’re doing, Mum? Making new choices, and new decisions that are right for now?’
‘Yes,’ I said, after we’d travelled another kilometre. ‘But I’m still struggling with not getting caught up in the regret. Thirty-five years of my life … I can’t help but wonder what I should have and could have done differently.’
She reached across and squeezed my shoulder.
‘I am so proud of you, Mum,’ she said, bringing a lump to my throat. ‘It would have been easy and safe to stay with your life in Adelaide, but you chose not to do that.’
‘That wasn’t living, Grace, that was existing. You left to get on with your life, and then Mum died …’ I took a deep breath and flexed my fingers on the steering wheel. ‘Everyone else who meant anything to me was here in Miners Ridge. Coming back wasn’t really a choice, it was a fait accompli.
‘Now Tim’s off doing what he wants to do, and although it’s taken a few months, Faith is loosening up and I see Liam and Amelia all the time. They are great kids, and soon I’ll have another grandchild.’
‘Well, if what Faith suspects is true, you might end up with two more grandchildren. What has Tim had to say about it?’
‘We haven’t talked for a while. I think I’ll message him and ask him to ring me. Aaron thinks that if anyone knows more, it’ll be Tim.’
‘Or Dad,’ Grace said. ‘I wouldn’t put anything past the old man. If Louise was barmaiding back then, like Aaron remembers, in Dad’s eyes that would have been enough to make her unworthy of a Fairley. I can just imagine Dad taking it into his own hands to vet Luke’s girlfriends.’
Neither of us spoke again until we were on the outskirts of Miners Ridge. I don’t know what Grace was thinking about, but I was experimenting with how furious I’d be if I discovered that Doug had known about Emma all along.
‘How do you want to do this?’ I said. Grace’s gaze was glued to the view sliding past outside the car window. ‘Do you want me to drop you off at Aaron’s place? Or do you want to come home to my place? We can ring him and ask him to come around?’
She swivelled around to look at me, her eyes wide like a rabbit caught in the headlights. ‘Is it that obvious that I’m nervous?’
‘I’m your mother, remember?’
‘Then the second option. If I’m at your place, he won’t be able to tell me to get lost.’
‘Grace, why on earth would he do that?’
‘He wouldn’t,’ she said. ‘I just know I have so many butterflies in my stomach I feel like I could take off. It’s hard to explain how video chatting with someone is totally different to actually being with them for real. It’s almost as if you’ve had those interactions with someone else. And in a way, this is Aaron’s home territory and I’m the interloper.’ Grace turned back to the view from the window. ‘Plus, I’m only here for two weeks. It’s all the leave they’d let me have.’
It was disconcerting to see my daughter in the midst of something she couldn’t control. I wanted to say that Aaron would welcome her with open arms, he’d be ecstatic to see her. That he was so lonely, that he was grieving for his dad and he missed her so much. But it wasn’t my place to say that. I wasn’t privy to what went on between them, and Grace was right: it would be challenging to build a solid and lasting relationship the way they were.
Although it wasn’t in her personality to hesitate, I could understand why in this instance she was. There was a lot at stake for both of them. I’d keep my fingers crossed that my daughter would keep going with her heart, for this once.
‘Actually, no,’ she said emphatically, when I flipped on the indicator to turn into my street. ‘Take me to his place, please. I’ve come this far. I’m not chickening out now.’
I drove straight on. The weather had stayed overcast all the way from Adelaide to Miners Ridge. Apart from the briefest spit when we’d come through the Clare Valley, there’d been no rain.
Aaron’s driveway and carport were empty, the blinds drawn.
‘I bet he’s still at work,’ I said. ‘With daylight saving it won’t be dark for ages. He’s probably trying to catch up after being away for so long. And it’s Friday, he could go to the pub for a quick drink after work.’
‘Oh, I didn’t think of any of that.’ Grace literally sagged in the seat. ‘Bugger.’
The jet lag and the day’s emotional ups and downs were beginning to show; she looked worn out. A tear slid down her cheek, and she swiped at it with her fingertips.
‘Why don’t you ring him? See where he is?’
‘Good idea.’ She whipped out her phone. ‘Voicemail,’ she said, disconnecting without leaving a message.
‘My place then?’
‘Yep,’ she said.
A few minutes later we were turning into my driveway when her phone rang. I was amused when she fumbled, almost dropping it in her haste to answer. I couldn’t hear Aaron clearly, only the crackle of his voice, but of course I caught all of Grace’s side of the conversation.
‘Hi … Nothing’s wrong … Where am I? … I’m at Mum’s.’
Then she laughed, a sound of pure joy, her fatigue forgotten.
‘We’ve already been past your place once, but I’ll ask Mum to drop me off … See you soon.’
She was beaming from ear to ear. My heart sang. Putting the car into reverse I backed out of the driveway onto the street, pointing the vehicle in the direction of Aaron’s place.
51
Grace
When they arrived at Aaron’s again, he wasn’t home yet. Grace was already out of the SUV and manhandling her suitcase onto the gravel footpath when her mother asked, ‘Do you want me to wait?’
‘No thanks, Mum. He said he wouldn’t be long, and he sounded so pleased that I was here.’ She closed the back door and came around to the open passenger sid
e, leaning in to face her mother. ‘It’ll be okay, and I know where you live if it’s not. It’s not too far to walk.’
She ignored the anxiety that’d had plagued her since the plane had taken off from Heathrow. It still lurked just below the surface.
Up until then the logistics of getting home to Aaron as fast as she could had dominated her attention. It wasn’t until she was on her way to the airport that the enormity of what she was doing had hit her. Now here she was.
After a moment’s hesitation, her mum drove off. Grace dragged her suitcase across the gravel and up Aaron’s driveway and onto the tiled porch.
She took in her surroundings, recalling his yard clearly from the time she’d picked up her car. If anything, the garden was greener, a little overgrown, the flowering rose bushes providing a burst of colour. A birdbath was camouflaged by overhanging foliage, and sparrows flitted and twittered. It was peaceful.
The sound of a vehicle had Grace’s pulse quickening, but it wasn’t Aaron’s ute and it drove on by.
She wandered around the back. Washing hung on the clothesline and the grass needed mowing. The children’s swing was still there but now she knew it was for his brother’s kids when they came visiting.
When she stepped up onto the deck and pressed her face to the French doors she saw a lived-in kitchen and dining area with an overflowing magazine rack and a plate covered in crumbs on the table. A bright-orange polar fleece was slung over the back of one of the dining chairs.
There was the rattle of a diesel ute and this time she knew it would be Aaron. He was climbing out of the cab as she came around the corner of the house. He didn’t see her at first and she took a moment to take him in. He looked weary but just as gorgeous as she remembered, and any doubts she’d had about being there evaporated.
Then he saw her and in four strides he’d gathered Grace into his arms, lifting her off her feet and burying his face in her hair, before he kissed her senseless.
‘Let’s go inside,’ he said when they came up for air. He stroked his knuckles across her cheek. ‘It’s hard to believe you’re really here, in Miners Ridge, at my house.’ He shook his head as if to shake himself out of a daze.
‘I was so sorry to hear about your dad, Aaron. You and your mum, your brothers, must be devastated.’
‘It’s been a tough couple of weeks. But I got to spend a fair chunk of time with Dad, and he was with it most of the time.’
‘How is your mum?’
‘A mess. But she’s pretty resilient, and Dominic will stay with her for as long as she needs. Sam and Lizzie went back to Mildura straight after the funeral. I was going to drive down to see Mum next weekend, just for a day.’
‘You still can,’ Grace said, trailing him through the carport and past his ute. ‘My suitcase is on the front porch.’
‘Will you come with me?’ he stopped, and turned to look at her.
‘Yes, if you want me to.’
‘Of course I want you to,’ he said. ‘It’ll give Mum something else to think about for a while.’ His gaze zeroed in on her medium-sized suitcase. ‘I’m not going to ask how long you’re here for,’ he said, ‘because I’m just glad you are.’
‘Two weeks,’ she said. He unlocked the front door and slung the suitcase inside. ‘It’s all the leave they’d let me take.’
‘Then we’d better make the most of every minute,’ he said. He unlaced his workbooks and put them by the front door. ‘Master bedroom’s this way.’
Grace’s eyes bugged out.
He grinned, tipped up her chin with his finger and kissed her on the mouth. ‘I’ll carry your suitcase through and maybe you’d like to use the bathroom. I know I need a shower. I’m building a dry-stone wall at Walt Bancroft’s place and it’s bloody hard work.’
For the first time Grace noticed the evidence of that hard day’s work: dusty, dirty clothes and sweat-matted hair.
He picked up her suitcase and padded across the polished wooden floor in his socks. ‘Through there is a toilet and bathroom,’ he said, indicating with his elbow. ‘And there’s my office, and through that door is a guest bedroom.’
‘Your house is lovely,’ she said peering every which way as she followed him to the bedroom. ‘I wanted to look through the windows when I picked up my car that day.’
‘You should have,’ he said, stopping at a double-door linen press. ‘Towels are in there. Grab one, and a face washer if you want.’ She did.
The bedroom was large and airy, the bed king-sized. ‘There’s an ensuite through there,’ he said, swinging the suitcase onto a rustic-looking blanket box at the end of the bed.
Grace used the bathroom and when she came out Aaron had opened the bedroom blinds to let in the light. Another set of French doors opened onto the back deck, which she hadn’t noticed earlier.
‘Did you renovate the house yourself?’
‘Most of it,’ he said. ‘It hadn’t been lived in for a while when I first saw it. I added the master bedroom and the original bedroom became the ensuite and the walk-in robe. I needed to use tradies for some of the plumbing and electrical.’
He started stripping off his clothes and dropping them into a pile by the ensuite door. Grace couldn’t seem to tear her gaze away. He was oblivious, and then he wasn’t. His blue eye darkened. ‘Wanna join me?’
‘Mmm,’ Grace said, scrunching up her face. ‘Tough decision.’ She began unwinding her scarf …
Later, wrapped in a towel, her whole body humming, Grace rifled through her suitcase looking for something comfortable to wear.
In the kitchen, Aaron was whistling. Dressed in jeans and T-shirt, she headed towards the sound, admiring the delightful decor and thinking how much it reflected the person who lived there.
It was definitely not designed to be a bachelor pad.
Grace experienced a pang of something that at first she didn’t recognise. Then, as she stood on the threshold of the living area watching Aaron making her coffee, she realised it was regret that she wasn’t ten years younger, when having a family was still a viable option.
He turned to face her. ‘You’re looking very serious all of a sudden,’ he said.
‘Just tired, I guess.’ She accepted the mug he handed her. ‘I crashed on the futon for a couple of hours this morning while Mum went to the specialist, but the jet lag’s catching up with me fast.’
‘Come and sit down,’ he said, guiding her towards the sitting room and a soft leather sofa the colour of mallee honey. ‘Now, tell me the real reason for the solemn expression.’
‘Your house … Home … It’s lovely, and I can’t help but think you bought it and renovated it with a family in mind.’
He gazed around. ‘No, not particularly,’ he said. ‘It works for one. It’d work equally well for two. And there are nieces and nephews if ever there’s a hankering to play happy families.’ He sipped his tea without looking at her.
When Grace had finished her drink she put the empty cup on the coffee table and snuggled in beside him. He slipped an arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer. Feet tucked up under her, Grace closed her eyes and let herself drift in that fuzzy space between sleep and wakefulness. The room had darkened as nightfall encroached.
‘Do want to eat? Or are you too tired?’
Without opening her eyes Grace said, ‘Food would be nice, and then I desperately need to sleep.’
Gently removing his arm from around her, Aaron stood up and turned on a lamp, filling the room with buttery light.
‘A ham and cheese omelette okay? Your mum did grocery shopping for me.’
‘As long as it doesn’t have baked beans with it,’ she said. When he’d been in London they’d joked about baked beans being served with nearly everything, and Grace hated the things. ‘I’ll come and help you.’
‘No, stay there and put your feet up. If you go to sleep, I’ll wake you, feed you and then put you to bed.’
She yawned widely. ‘What more could a girl ask for?’ she said, a
lready half asleep.
52
‘You are kidding me.’
Grace stood with hands on hips glaring at the enormous pile of rocks. It was eight o’clock on Monday morning and the sun already had a bite to it. They were at Walt Bancroft’s place. Grace was already regretting her offer to help Aaron with the dry-stone wall.
‘All you have to do is fill the wheelbarrow with rocks, yell out, and I’ll come and wheel them to where I need them. Then you push back the empty barrow and fill it again.’
Grace stared at Aaron as if he’d lost his marbles.
‘You offered to help,’ he said. ‘You could have stayed home, or visited your mother and your sister.’
‘So I did’ she said, and ungraciously snatched up the pair of leather work-gloves he held out.
The offer had been made after a couple of glasses of wine on Saturday night. They’d had a barbecue and Sarah, Faith and the children all came. Ben was away working.
It had been a good night. Grace couldn’t remember seeing her mother as relaxed in a long time. Faith had even laughed. Liam and Amelia had made a fuss over Bob, when he’d finally appeared, but their mother had refused to budge on her stance on them having a cat of their own.
Come Monday morning and the pile of rocks confronting her Grace vowed never to drink red wine again.
‘You’ll need this, too,’ Aaron said, and plonked a straw hat onto her head.
Grace grumbled and he sauntered off, smirking. But after the first barrowload she got into the swing of it and began to get a certain satisfaction out of seeing the barrow fill and the pile diminish. Aaron’s speed and skill at building the wall left her in awe.
‘How did you learn to do that?’ she said, and pulled off the gloves.
They only had a couple of barrowloads to go. She wiped her brow with the bottom of her T-shirt—borrowed from her mother because she hadn’t packed work clothes—and then took a long swig from the flask of water.
‘Taught myself. Borrowed books from the library and watched YouTube clips.’
She squinted at what he’d done. ‘A wall like this would look terrific in your backyard, in place of those old sleepers.’
When Grace Went Away Page 32