Lance got out of the shower and dried himself off, then he threw the towel over the shower rack as he stepped out of the bathroom and into the hall where he met Yuri. He tried to move past his brother to get to their room, but Yuri blocked the way with his arms.
“Do you mind?” Lance asked. “I’d like to get my clothes on before I freeze to death.”
“You’re fine. It’s not that cold in here,” Yuri said. “We should go to Fairbanks again, and you should talk to the singer at Tipsy. Ash is hot as fuck, a real wildfire. They said they’d be moving on soon, but I bet we could catch them if we went again tonight.”
Lance interrupted, “It’s unusual for you to be this interested in someone. I don’t think you’ve ever talked about seeing someone a second time in your life. They’ve all been nothing but conquests or something, but you actually want to see this one again?” A sour taste filled Lance’s mouth. He didn’t enjoy talking about Ash like this. He also didn’t enjoy talking about Ash like he didn’t know them.
Yuri shrugged. “Ash is sexy. Really sexy. That body, Lance.”
A hot body. Yuri was very straight. Ash had a feminine body. They were non-binary, but that didn’t change the physical truth. And Yuri had the hots for them big time. What did that mean? Was Yuri falling in love with them?
The taste in Lance’s mouth got worse.
“You haven’t talked to me since we came home. And you’re pissy now,” Yuri said. “What’s got your dick in a twist?”
Don’t ask, Lance told himself. Don’t ask Yuri what he did with Ash. You don’t want to know. And why did Yuri wear a shirt to bed? He never does that.
“If looks could kill, bro.” Yuri folded his arms. “Why are you so pissed off?”
“I’m not,” Lance said. But he was. He was very pissed off. He shoved past Yuri and dodged as Yuri made to grab him. He made it to the bedroom and locked the door so Yuri couldn’t come in.
“Seriously, Lance. I know you. What’s wrong?”
Lance ground his teeth together. Luckily for him, he had some extra winter clothes inside the bedroom that were kept separate from the coat rack in the living room. He couldn’t face Yuri right now. He pulled open the window just as he heard Yuri getting the spare key, and he left.
He trudged through the snow with a purpose. His end destination would be the Lodge so he could grab an SUV. He was going to prove Drew wrong. Drew said that Lance hadn’t loved him. That wasn’t true. Lance had. A part of him always would. And now he loved Ash. He would prove it. He would ask Ash to be his Valentine. He had to make a move before Yuri stole them away because Lance truly believed Yuri could have anyone he wanted. He was like that. Magnetic.
He was glad, ecstatic really, that Yuri was better, but that meant change. That meant Lance couldn’t stay in this life forever or he would end up alone. Yuri would find a mate, and he would leave Lance sooner rather than later. How would he not? There was literally nothing holding him back anymore. It would be like Mateo, but much worse.
Lance gave everything to Yuri. Lance’s identity was combined with Yuri’s, even more so after Yuri got so sick. Lance had resigned himself to the fact that that would be the way it would always be, that Yuri would always need him and that Lance would always have a place to belong.
That didn’t mean, during all this time, that Lance hadn’t wanted more than that.
Drew broke Lance’s heart. Lance had called and waited for him for days after he said the words Lance would never forget. Lance tried to find him every time he and Yuri went back to Fairbanks. Yuri just kept on doing what he always did while Lance suffered alone and with the eventual realization that he would never see Drew again. The pain cut deep because Lance needed Drew. Maybe he always needed someone outside of Yuri, someone like… a mate. Lance wanted out of Yuri’s shadow, and he wanted Ash.
But he was afraid.
It wasn’t easy for him to connect with others. He didn’t just have a revelation and decide he loved Ash after a couple days. It took months. Even with Drew. He wasn’t like most people. Cedar and Gale hit it off immediately. They had this “chemistry,” or so people said, and Lance didn’t know what that meant other than arousal. He could relate to the butterflies metaphor, but he didn’t get the chemistry.
But he was going to learn. He would make it work. He had to overcome this obstacle because it wasn’t an obstacle for anyone else. He’d either adapt, or he’d end up alone.
Ash walked into the library. They didn’t know why. Maybe it was to reminisce. It was partly that, and it was partly hope that Lance would be there because this was the last time. After this, Ash needed to move on with their life. If Lance wasn’t who they had been searching for on this long road trip, then Fairbanks had nothing left to offer them. Alaska had nothing left to offer them.
They walked past familiar bookcases. It was quiet as usual with people studying at tables and wearing headphones. Ash was looking for a specific table, the one Lance always sat at. It was hidden in a corner and hardly ever seemed to be occupied unless Lance was there.
Ash found him here by chance once when they were getting out of the cold for a minute. It was Ash’s first time in the library, so they really scoured the place. They tended to do that. It made for the best songs, observation that is. Lance had been at this corner table piled high with a ton of different books about the brain, seizures, and how brains process speech. When asked about it, he gave Ash some vague answer about the brain being fascinating.
Ash had pulled out a chair and sat down next to him. They rested their elbows on the wood surface and folded their arms in front of them. They got the truth out of Lance eventually—or as much of the truth as he was inclined to give apparently. No, that wasn’t fair to say. It was the truth. Ash saw the difference in him.
The reason Lance spent so much time in the library was because he was researching a rare disorder called pure word deafness. His twin brother had it. Lance said he was pretty sick sometimes with seizures. One of those seizures was responsible for his PWD. Sometimes, they would make him bedridden, but, from what Lance said, Yuri was a fighter. He kept holding on, stubbornly refusing to let go.
Ash sat down and ran their hand across the table’s glossy finish as if that would allow them to feel some residual heat Lance had left behind. But it was cold. No one had been here.
Ash wondered if Lance’s brother had passed on or if his condition had gotten much worse. Those would’ve been valid reasons for him to disappear. And it wasn’t as if he and Ash were in some sort of committed relationship. It wasn’t as if Ash really understood what that was anyway. They had never concerned themself with such thoughts before. People came and went. Ash was used to that. Lance was the closest relationship they had ever had to anyone, and Ash wanted to keep what Lance made them realize they wanted more than an endless road trip.
Spending last night with mysterious Yuri cleared Ash’s head. That was why they were at the library, giving Lance one more chance before they left. Yeah, they had some burns that twinged whenever their clothes rubbed them wrong, but it was a good hurt. It reminded them of the most important thing: they were alive, and so they were going to live with everything they had.
Ash smiled and tapped the table. “Right, Yuri?”
Well, that was enough reminiscing. Ash gave it one more shot, but Lance wasn’t here. Ash wasn’t going to pay for another night at the hotel. It was getting pricey. They had gotten a good deal, though, since Frank apparently knew the hotel owner. But enough was enough. It was time to move on.
Ash was about to get up, but shivers broke out across their skin when they heard his voice. “Ash.”
Ash stood anyway, nails digging into the wooden table. They knew that voice very well, but they didn’t want to turn around and be disappointed in case their mind was playing tricks on them. So, Ash took a deep breath and worked up the courage to take a peek. Sure enough, Lance was right there. His eyes were ice with lava underneath just waiting to burn through to the surface.
The corners of his lips upturned slightly. Ash wouldn’t have seen it if they hadn’t learned to see Lance’s smiles, even the smallest of the small. At first, even these smiles were hard to get out of him. But as they spent more time together, Lance had started giving them freely. Real smiles.
“Lance. It’s been over a month since I last saw you.”
“Were you looking for me?”
Ash folded their arms and decided not to answer that question. They deserved an explanation.
Lance’s gaze darted to the ground before bouncing back up to meet Ash’s eyes. “I’m sorry. My brother got really sick, and I couldn’t leave him. But I’m back. I was always going to come back.” The way he said that made Ash wonder if he said that last part for himself or for them. There was always something in Lance that wasn’t ready to commit to this strange relationship he and Ash had been developing.
“Why didn’t you wait for me?” he asked.
Ash’s throat grew tight, and their hands clenched into fists of their sides. “I did wait.”
They had. And they were here now, weren’t they? What did Lance really mean anyway? He couldn’t have known about Yuri last night. He wasn’t there, and why should he care? They hadn’t talked about or had sex.
But Ash felt it: chemistry. Ash and Lance had done things only “lovers” did. Dates, stolen touches, longing looks. It had to be true. Ash and Lance felt the same way about each other, but they were both afraid to take it any further because of this emotional connection they had developed. Sex with Yuri was just sex. Sex with Lance would be something much more, something Ash had never before experienced.
“I did wait,” Ash said again.
Lance shook his head, and now he wouldn’t look Ash in the eye. “Forget I said that. I want to take you out, Ash. Karaoke. You said you wanted to do karaoke last time, but then stuff happened, and we didn’t get to it.”
The fact that Lance remembered that after weeks apart reminded Ash why they had fallen so hard for him, not to mention the fact that they could hardly take their eyes off him.
Lance had albinism. It was something he got stares for, and there were rude whispers every now and then, but Ash couldn’t understand why. Lance was beautiful. Gorgeous. He had mentioned before that the sun was not his friend, but he otherwise didn’t like talking about his skin, hair, or eyes. Ash had to bleach their hair hardcore to get white, but Lance’s hair was practically white already. God, his physique. Ash didn’t know how he could manage to look so lean and so muscular at the same time. Ash had only been with one person as ripped as Lance appeared to be: mysterious Yuri.
Ash frowned. They had seen a few of the tattoos Lance had covering his skin on rare occasions when it was hot enough for Lance to strip down to a tank top, including a white tiger tattooed on his left shoulder. It had to be a coincidence.
Lance was a mystery himself in so many ways.
There had been plenty of times on their dates when Ash had hoped stolen touches and glances would turn into something more because Ash would have been ready. They were ready now. If Lance wanted to take them away, after karaoke, everything would be perfect. More than perfect. It would be a dream.
Could Ash keep Lance? Was that a possibility?
Lance scratched the back of his head, still unwilling to meet Ash’s eyes. “I don’t sing, but, you know, I’ll do it for you.”
“You say that, and then you’re going to end up being this fabulous singer and I’m going to be jealous.” Ash took a step toward Lance. It was partly to close the distance between them and partly to make it so they didn’t have to talk so loud; the two of them were drawing eyes.
Ash pressed forward until they were mere inches from touching Lance. He didn’t move. He was rigid like ice. So, Ash took his hand and squeezed. Finally, Lance looked at them. A real smile lit up his face as he squeezed Ash’s hand back. And yanked. He wrapped his other arm around Ash’s back as he hugged them. He rested his cheek on the top of Ash’s head.
“God, I missed you,” he said.
Ash closed their eyes. They breathed in through their nose, catching Lance’s subtle scent, something they were only privileged with when they were close like this. Ash had tried to find something to compare his scent to, but they couldn’t come up with anything other than it was earthy. Maybe a type of flower?
“I missed you, too,” Ash said. “How’s your brother doing?”
“He’s okay. He’s really okay. In fact, he’s going to be just fine now. His PWD is gone, and he hasn’t had a seizure since.”
Ash hugged him as tightly as they could. His body was so hard, there was hardly any give. “Really? That’s great. I’m so happy for him and for you.”
And Ash was filled with the promise of the possibilities that brought with it. Maybe this meant Lance was ready for more.
CHAPTER TEN
“YOU REALLY GAVE ME the slip,” Yuri muttered. He was giving up the chase. Lance had doubled around and messed up his trail fantastically. It wasn’t until Yuri made it to the Lodge and saw that one of the SUVs was missing that he realized what Lance had done. He wondered if Lance had asked for the keys and if Gale had given them freely, or if Lance had hot-wired the thing. Lately, Gale gave up the keys.
Whatever, Yuri thought. It didn’t matter now. The fact was Lance had left Eurio, and he hadn’t wanted Yuri to know.
“What am I supposed to do with myself?” Yuri wondered aloud.
He stared at the refined logs making up the backside of the Lodge. Then he peeked around the corner. There was something going on inside the building. He had kept out of sight, but he had seen some shifters coming and going from the front when he had made his way back here. He decided to check it out, but not by going through the front door.
Yuri found a cracked-open window in the back that led into the kitchen. He smelled chocolate. The room was empty at the moment, and the lights were turned off. Cedar was obsessing over Valentine’s Day, and making chocolates was something she invited everybody to do at the meeting yesterday. Yuri remembered that now. Apparently, that was today.
Yuri opened the window wider and slipped inside. His boots hardly made a sound when they touched down on hard tiles. Stealth was a tiger shifter’s best friend. The door to the kitchen didn’t open, so no one heard Yuri enter. The chocolates were sitting out in the open. Cooling, he guessed. Some of them were inside of heart molds, others were on the counter, and others sat inside red-ribboned boxes.
He could hear voices if he craned his ears, but he was otherwise alone.
“Lucky me,” Yuri said.
It seemed like Cedar went all out on the chocolate production. There were chocolates lined up to every shade. There were white chocolates too. Yuri would avoid those and anything that wasn’t dark chocolate. He never got why people liked milk chocolate. It never tempted him. And white chocolate was just gross.
He grabbed a piece of dark chocolate that was shaped like a heart (surprise) and took a bite. It had a raspberry filling that complemented the cocoa. It made his taste buds sing. Contented, he hummed and went for a double-heart piece of dark chocolate. Soon he was taking one from each batch, even ones he wouldn’t normally take. Cedar was a master with anything cooking, wasn’t she? Food in Eurio had never tasted so good.
Yuri just popped another chocolate heart into his mouth when the kitchen door opened. He almost choked on it. So much for paying attention to his surroundings. But then he realized why. It was just Ike. He didn’t have his radar up for little kids. They passed through his defenses because they were usually easily swayed. Yuri pounded his chest with his fist to get the chocolate out of his throat. Then he crushed it with his teeth and swallowed it properly this time.
“Yuri?” Ike said. The little polar bear cub stared at him with wide gray eyes.
“Hey, Ike.”
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing much. Tasting some chocolates. You gonna join me?” Yuri popped another chocolate heart into his mouth and chewed. It
had a creamy mint filling. He didn’t know which one was his favorite. They were all so good.
“No, I came in to grab something for Cedar.” Ike picked up a velvety red box and then cocked his head. “That isn’t very nice. We worked hard on those chocolates.”
“Hey, I haven’t taken more than one from anybody’s stash,” Yuri said. “And there’s a fuckton of these. They’re not going to miss them, promise. Here,” Yuri snatched up another chocolate heart he hadn’t tried yet and held it out to Ike, “you can try this one.”
The cub’s mouth watered.
“It isn’t going to kill anyone,” Yuri urged.
Ike almost took it, but then he shook his head. “If you had come earlier, you would’ve gotten to try them while we were making them. Want to make your own?”
“Too late. I missed the party, right?”
“Cedar won’t mind. She’ll get you started on your own batch. And then you can make a card.”
“Hell no. That is okay.” Yuri popped the chocolate heart into his mouth. This one had an orange filling. Best yet? Maybe.
“That’s one of the ones Austin made for Mateo,” Ike said.
Yuri reflexively spit out the chocolate into his hand. “Oh, good. Another reason for Austin to hate me.” He shrugged and put the chocolate back into his mouth. He ruined it now anyway with all his saliva. He wiped his hand on his pants.
As soon as he swallowed the treat, a strange pain shot up into his skull, like fireworks just burst inside his brain. He winced and grabbed his head. It was sudden, seemingly random, but the worst part was the familiarity. This was the kind of pain that visited him at the onset of a seizure. He hadn’t had any problems since Josh worked his magic on him and cured him almost a month ago.
Valentine's Day Tigers (The Holiday Shifter Mates Book 3) Page 6