“How did you do that? He just disappeared.”
He looked up at her. “That wasn’t me. When an angel’s sol is destroyed, and they’re on another plane, the remains automatically return to whatever dimension they’ve been anchored to. It’s part of their magic.”
She frowned. “Is it the same for demons?”
“Nah,” said Dante with a grin. “We like to be more inconvenient and leave a body behind that someone has to dispose of if they want to hide that they killed us.”
His grin was contagious, though it wasn’t particularly funny. She managed a small smile before scooting her chair closer to look at the crystal Brax was holding in his hands. “Will it tell us anything?”
“Maybe. It depends on if we can access it.” He surprised her by passing it to Dante. “You’re better with this kind of thing, kid.”
The younger demon took it, sliding his fingers over in varying patterns before making a soft hum that sounded like, “Aha.” Seconds later, a familiar voice emanated from the crystal, and it appeared to be a stored recording. She didn’t know how she knew it, but she’d certainly heard that voice before, and it terrified her.
“Be on the lookout for a rogue angel on Earth. The damaged sol might make it difficult to find her, or it might help you in the matter. She is to be eliminated on sight. She’s a collaborator and co-conspirator with the demons. Get rid of her if you see her.”
“That’s the end of it.” Dante played around with it a bit more before laying it aside with a shrug. “If there’s anything else stored on it, I can’t access it.”
“So, you’re a demon conspirator?” Mal scratched his chin as he stared at her. “You don’t seem like the type, princess.”
“I don’t feel like the type either.” She frowned as she mulled it over, wondering if perhaps it could be true. After all, she’d fallen into companionship with the demons easily enough, though that had been because they had been kind to her and tried to protect her.
Hadn’t it?
She couldn’t imagine she was out to betray her own race, but what if she was as sick of the war as the demons around her, and those and others who’d defected to Earth to avoid the conflict? Was she part of some grand scheme to bring it all down? That theory didn’t feel right to her, but she couldn’t rule it out either. “I must’ve done something really bad if they want me dead.”
“Or you know something you shouldn’t,” said Brax. “Sugar, people kill people for all kinds of things. I highly doubt your leader was being honest with the angels when he instructed them to kill you. You probably don’t have to worry about being a traitor.”
She nodded her agreement, tilting her head slightly. “I confess, it doesn’t feel much like being a traitor even if I find out I have been aiding demons, unless maybe I’m doing something horrible like allowing them to kill the innocent ones of my kind. Maybe it’s because I can’t remember anything, but the idea of fighting with another group of people for longer than entire generations can remember seems insane to me.”
“It is, but you have to understand just how wonderful Caelum is, especially when compared to Infernum. It was our original home, and there are some who are strongly passionate about returning there. They don’t care the cost, or how many generations are dragged into the conflict. They won’t stop until they’re home and have ejected the angels. They’re the ones who want to invert the status quo, sending the angels to Infernum and reclaiming Caelum.” Mal looked sad for a moment. “I don’t think it will ever come to pass, and I got tired of fighting for a cause I wasn’t sure I believed in any longer. Maybe it’s the same for you, Abby.”
She shrugged. “Maybe so.” A yawn escaped her before she could smother it, garnering three looks of concern. She managed to put them off and ignore their bossy suggestions that she should have an early night at least until after she had eaten her pizza and watched a little television. It was fascinating, particularly since humans were cooking something that looked decadent. “I’d like that.”
The three of them looked up from the table where they’d been quietly talking to glance at the TV. “Chocolate cake,” said Mal in a dismissive tone.
“It looks amazing.” Abby felt like she might drool, but a yawn escaped her instead. She stifled it and surrendered, saying, “I’m going to sleep.”
“Don’t lock the connecting door,” said Brax. It was issued with a note of tender authority rather than as a harsh order. Knowing he was just looking out for her, she nodded her agreement as she stood up to cross the room, moving through the door adjoining the rooms and into the shower moments later.
She was drying off after bathing when she heard Mal mention sol. He was saying it in a quiet and furtive way that suggested he didn’t want her to hear. With a frown, she tucked the towel more firmly around her and crept over to the door. She hadn’t locked it, and it was still slightly ajar. She eased it open a couple more inches to hear better, not wanting them to realize she was eavesdropping while they were openly discussing something she was certain concerned her.
“I’m just saying, I don’t think we’ll figure out why they want her until she gets her memory back.” Mal sounded frustrated.
“Nobody’s disagreeing with that, but how are we supposed to help her get her memory back? We can’t just wave our fingers and snap it back into existence.”
“I could try a little something,” said Dante, though he sounded hesitant. “I might be able to coax some of her memory forth with healing.”
“Or you might damage her more.” Brax sounded annoyed. “You can’t go poking around in her mind and risk doing more damage.”
“I’m extremely gifted with healing,” said Dante, his tone snappish. “I’m not going to hurt her.”
“You wouldn’t deliberately, but you don’t know what kind of damage is going on in there. Unless her sol is healed, I don’t think we’re going to get the answers we need.”
“Then let’s heal her sol,” said Dante, sounding like he was tossing out the idea spontaneously.
Abby frowned as silence stretched for a moment between the three of them. Mal was the first to respond, and he sounded dismayed. “We can’t.”
“We can. I’ve heard of it before. We just have to give her a piece of ours.”
“There’s only one way to do that,” said Mal, almost like he was warning his friends. “At least, that’s the only way I know how to do it. I know there must be another way, since the angels have perfected it to create more angels, but they’ve never shared the secret with the likes of me.”
“Well let’s do it then,” said Dante, clearly undeterred.
“It’s obvious her sol is severely damaged. It wouldn’t be safe for just one of us to try to heal her. We’d probably all have to work together, and the mere idea would almost certainly send her running away screaming.”
Abby had heard enough, so she boldly opened the door and stepped through to face them. “Don’t speak for me or discount my courage. If you can help fix my sol, I’m asking you to. Please.”
The three of them were silent for a moment, all sharing guilty looks as though they hadn’t expected to be caught talking about the subject without her around. She had no guilt for eavesdropping and made no apology. They had a tendency to try to protect her from the truth, and it was maddening.
She moved closer to the table where the three of them still sat, arms crossed over her chest. Water still dampened her skin, and she tightened the knot she had tied in the towel to hold it up sarong-style before moving her hands to her hips. “If you know something that’ll help, tell me.” There was an unmistakable sound of confidence in her voice, though she was moderately surprised when the three of them stiffened as though they were finally paying attention.
“It’s possible to share sol with someone, but you have to be very physically close to them.” Brax looked a little awkward as he said that.
Abby covered the rest of the distance between them, reclaiming the chair she had sat in earlier. �
��Okay, I’m closer. What do you need to do? Is there any risk?”
“The only risk I know of is it might not work,” said Dante when neither of the other two answered after a long pause. “I don’t think we’ve lost anything by trying.”
“You have to get her to agree to it,” said Mal, sounding like that was the end of it. He seemed somewhere between pleased and annoyed as he spoke the words.
She frowned. “I need answers, and I’d like to feel whole again. I want to know what’s going on and who I am. I’m willing to do anything to fix this, so how do we do it?”
“It requires physical closeness,” said Brax as he rubbed his neck, his gaze darting from hers.
She frowned. “You’ve already said that. What are the particulars of the method?”
“Sex,” blurted out Dante. He seemed a little ill at ease as well, but not as uncomfortable as Brax.
They both looked positively relaxed when compared to Mal, who wore a grumpy expression and made no effort to hide his reluctance.
Abby didn’t remember everything, but she instinctively knew what sex was. She was also certain she’d never done it before herself, but she must’ve observed it sometime in the past. She quirked a brow. “You’re saying I’ll have to have sex with all three of you to repair my sol?”
“It would ensure we give you enough to repair you without weakening any of us.” Brax met her gaze with an air of challenge. “You can see why we haven’t brought it up before.”
She frowned. “No, I really can’t. If you could have helped me days ago, I don’t understand why you didn’t.”
“He means you have to have sex with all of us,” said Dante. He flushed. “At the same time.”
Abby arched her brow higher. “Yes, and?”
Brax barked out a startled laugh as Dante’s eyes widened. “You mean you’re okay with that?”
“Like I said, I need to be healed… And I don’t think it’ll be any hardship, will it?” It didn’t occur to her to lie about how she felt for them. “I like kissing all of you, so I’m certain I’ll like anything else we do as well.”
“To hell with this.” Mal practically snarled the words as he pushed back his chair and got to his feet. Abby’s mouth dropped open as he slammed his chair against the wall and marched from the hotel room, spine stiff and eyes focused straight ahead. He didn’t turn back to look at her or even hesitate as he disappeared through the door, and she stared after him in shock and bewilderment at his sudden abandonment.
Chapter Nine
Mal strode away without looking back, briefly tempted to hop on his motorcycle and keep riding. He wanted to put as much distance between himself and temptation as possible. There was no denying that was Abby personified. Pure temptation.
He immediately called to mind an image of his wife, clinging to the memory of her dark hair and blue eyes, and the gentle way she used to smile at him. He recalled how she used to hold out her arm and wiggle her fingers when she wanted him to join her in bed, and his chest ached with the old, familiar pain. It was almost a comfort to feel it, as it was to vividly remember Lori’s image in his mind. Sometimes, she had started to fade even from the razor-sharp mind of a demon, so he was grateful he could fully recall her, including her unique scent.
He longed for a picture of her, but photography hadn’t been much of a thing when he met and married her in the Wyoming territory more than two hundred fifty years ago.
He’d loved her. He couldn’t recall when he’d loved anything or anyone more than he had Lori, and a bitter taste filled his mouth as he remembered the confrontation with the angels. He’d taken her into town for a simple errand, just to fetch feed for the animals on their farm, and they came across three angels. They had recognized him for what he was, though Lori had no idea, and she’d been fully human.
The angels hadn’t listened when he’d begged them to let her walk away. He’d even offered not to fight back if they would just let her go, but the white-winged bastards hadn’t seen it that way. While he was busy fighting off two of them, the third had run her through, and though he had gotten a measure of revenge and then some, nothing could bring her back.
He’d failed to protect Lori and keep her safe. He’d lost her, leaving him with a level of loneliness he didn’t think Mal or Dante could relate to, never having loved like that before. It was easier for them to contemplate helping the angel, because they didn’t know how it felt to love and lose that same kind of love.
Not that he would fall in love with Abby. She was just an angel. It was true he hadn’t responded to anyone besides Lori until her, save for some casual indiscretions in the past two centuries, but that didn’t mean anything. He wasn’t about to hand over his heart, especially to a fucking angel.
She seemed like one of the good ones, but when she had her memory back, that could all change. She might be the worst of her kind. After all, her own people wanted her dead.
He couldn’t bring himself to believe that though. He knew he was exploring the possibility as justification to avoid helping restore her sol. The only reason he was reluctant to do so was because he didn’t want to get too involved with her. His mind hadn’t changed about that, because he couldn’t tolerate losing another love, but surely he could handle one night of physical interaction that would help heal Abby’s sol and maybe give them an advantage since they were firmly dragged into the situation now.
He was no weak or simpering human male. Did he really think sex would be his undoing? It wasn’t as though he’d been celibate since Lori’s passing, and he’d never once been tempted to stay more than a night with any of the women who’d shared his bed in the interim. There was nothing different or special about Abby, and he was overthinking the whole thing. There was no way he was going to fall in love again, particularly with an angel.
The matter was resolved to his satisfaction, but he spent a few more moments bolstering his confidence and assuring himself there was zero chance of getting emotionally entangled with Abby. Once he was convinced of that, he turned from where he’d been pacing the outskirts of the parking lot and walked back to the hotel room.
It took more courage than he expected to twist the knob and push open the door before entering. He braced himself, and he was glad he had done so, for his gaze collided with Abby’s as soon as he stepped inside. Reading the hurt and betrayal there was enough to make a pit form in his stomach and cause an ache in his chest. He swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in his throat and cleared it with a cough. “I’ll help.”
“I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to,” said Abby with a sniff. She was clearly still hurting at the way he’d walked away before without explanation.
With a sigh, he said, “I’d like to talk to you for a moment.”
With the regality of a queen, she stood up from the chair she’d occupied and swept across the room, disappearing through the adjoining door into the other room. He followed, this time closing the door behind him and making sure it clicked to give them some semblance of privacy. It wasn’t as though Mal and Dante didn’t know about his past, but this felt like a private conversation. “I’m sorry I didn’t explain before leaving.”
Her back was turned to him, and she was clearly hugging herself. “It doesn’t matter. You don’t owe me anything, Mal.”
“No.” He made that stark agreement as he walked closer, circling around so he was facing her. She looked like she wanted to turn away for a moment, but then her spine stiffened as her shoulders straightened. He smiled that she’d found her resolve. “It has nothing to do with you, Abby. I was just reluctant to form any kind of bond. I still am, but I think I can keep this physical. In fact, I know I can,” he said in an assertive tone filled with surety.
She looked confused. “I didn’t ask you for anything else.”
“No, and I can’t give it if you did. I had one love in my life, a human woman I never expected to marry. I fell for Lori and left the demon army to come here to Earth. We we
re happy together for several years until we stumbled across angels. They killed her and nearly killed me, but none of the three of them walked away from it.” His voice softened then. “Truth be told, I feel like I died that day too sometimes. I’ll never love like that again, and I have no interest in doing so. It doesn’t mean I can’t help you physically and share some of my sol with you. I just had to have a few minutes to think about it.”
She bit her lip. “I don’t want to force you into anything.”
“You aren’t. I do want to help you, and I think Brax is right. The only way we’re going to know what’s really going on is if you get back your memory. The best way to do that is to heal your sol. It’s probably linked to your memory loss and why you have no wings.”
She bent her head, still looking kind of confused. “When I think about having wings, it feels like I should, but I don’t think about not having them all the time, if that makes sense?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “There’s not a whole lot that makes sense in this situation. As long as you’re okay with my terms, I’m happy to help.”
“I’d never ask anything of you that you didn’t want to give, including your heart, Mal.” There was a new kind of understanding in her tone, but there was also a bleak sadness in her eyes that cut through him.
He cleared his throat. “In that case, I guess it’s up to you, honey. If you want to do this, I’m game, and I’m sure Brax and Dante are as well.”
She nodded. “They’ve already offered to help even if you didn’t want to participate. I’m ready.”
His eyes widened as she said the words seconds before her fingers fiddled with the knot in her towel, and it fell to the floor. His breath trapped in his throat as he caught his first full glimpse of the entirely naked angel standing before him. Desire and apprehension warred inside him, but his anxiety soon faded as she took a step closer.
Sanctimalus Serial: Parts One-Three Page 8