For the rest of the day I put up with watching movies with Damien on the sofa. He doesn’t touch me at all and for that I’m grateful. Maybe being pregnant won’t be such a bad thing.
We are watching the movie ‘The Greatest Showman' and I have to say, I love it. I find myself bobbing along to the music. I almost forget where I am.
When the movie is over, Damien suggests another one, which surprisingly, I agree to. He puts on 28 Days Later, he tells me it’s one of his favourite movies, I never would have guessed that he liked zombies. After making two bowls of popcorn, one for me and one for himself, we settle into the sofa and he presses play.
For the rest of the day we sit and watch movies. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am comfortable and relaxed. I hate to admit it but I don’t feel like much of a prisoner anymore.
When it’s time to sleep I start to feel uncomfortable again. I change into a new pair of black silk pyjamas with Damien standing across the room. I am happy to say that I now have new bras and underwear so my body isn’t completely on show anymore but it’s still unnerving. I then climb into my bed, facing away from Damien and try to sleep.
“Goodnight, Tayla.” he whispers after a while. I ignore him and pretend to be sleeping.
That night I dream about my baby, having her while still a captive, her growing up here with two parents who love her and spoil her, her being sheltered from the outside world forever being stuck in this cabin.
I wake up with a start, covered in sweat. I can’t let that dream become a reality, even if the first half was kind of nice. Yes, Damien has been a perfect gentleman since he found out I was pregnant but that doesn’t mean I want my baby around him. I look over at him sleeping, he looks like a normal, sane man.
I sit in bed for a while, just thinking. I am in no condition to try and escape again. I know morning sickness doesn’t start until around six weeks of pregnancy so I think I am around a month and a half along now, maybe more. Definitely no condition for running through the forest at high speeds. I make a mental note to talk to Damien tomorrow about seeing a doctor. I lay awake for another hour before my eyes start to feel heavy and I give in to the fatigue.
✽✽✽
“Good morning, sunshine.” a voice wakes me. I turn over and look at Damien as he stands next to my bed with a tray in his hands. The smell of bacon lures me to a sitting position, it smells wonderful.
When I'm sitting comfortably, Damien places the tray on my lap. Bacon, eggs, sausage and beans stare back at me and my stomach makes a horrific sound. I laugh, embarrassed for some reason and look at Damien out the corner of my eye, he’s staring at me with a smile on his face. I quickly pick up the fork and shovel a pile of beans into my mouth, ignoring the man standing next to me.
“I thought we could watch some movies today. What do you think?” he asks when I'm finished eating. It's not like I have a choice in the matter.
“Sure, sounds good.” I reply and wipe my mouth with a napkin before pushing the tray away.
“You can take a shower if you like.” my head swings around at his words, unable to form words, I sit there and gawk at him.
“Really?” I ask in case I heard wrong. He simply nods his head and walks out the room.
I'm stunned. This is the first time I have been allowed to shower since I was brought here, normally I am given a bucket with hot water in and a semi used cloth. I decide not to waste any time, I don’t want him changing his mind. I jump up and race to the bathroom.
It’s a room I have never been in before. I like it. The dark, log walls of the cabin complements the white, stone tiled floor, a dark and very fluffy piece of nicely shaped carpet sits in the middle of the room. On one side is a large, dark wood bath with a white tub, and on the wall next to that is a double vanity sink unit in the same dark wood. A shower stands in the other corner, large white towels line the shelves on the wall and a collection of toiletries are scattered next to the sink.
I smile to myself and close the door. I think I’ll have a bath instead, this is the perfect opportunity to relax and unwind.
As I put the plug in and turn the water on full, I have a look at what kind of bubble bath Damien has, I see Dove and two more brands, one smells of spices and the other smells woodsy. I notice a lavender scented bath soak at the back and pick it up. This is perfect. I pour some in the bath which is now filling with steaming hot water and get undressed.
Once the bath is ready, I step inside, the water is just the right temperature to wash away the dirt and my worries, my almost healed back stings slightly at the clean, hot water.
I stay in the bath for 20 minutes. It was the most peaceful I have felt in so long and my body feels invigorated. I curse as I realise that I forgot to bring clean clothes in with me, so after I have washed my hair, I wrap a towel tightly around my body and quickly make my way back to the bedroom.
Thankfully, Damien is on the sofa watching TV, I don’t know how he would react to seeing me in just a towel. I get back to my cage and pull the dressing screen that Damien had bought and place it against the cage. At least I don’t have to worry about him seeing my body again.
I dress in a pair of jeans with a t-shirt and hoodie on, slip on some fluffy socks and make my way to the living room feeling a lot happier than I probably should.
CHAPTER 32
I sit down on the sofa and tuck my feet underneath my body as Damien decides what movie to put on. He ends up choosing Shaun of the Dead this time and I can’t help but laugh and roll my eyes at his dorkiness. He turns to smile at me, which I return very briefly, before settling back and pressing play.
Damien gets up and makes us a bowl of popcorn a few minutes in. When he comes back, he places the large bowl in the middle of the sofa so it sits between us.
I have never watched Shaun of the Dead before, or any zombie movies in fact. I watch with interest. It is hilarious.
I absentmindedly reach over to grab a handful of popcorn, only to stop when my hand touches something else. I look over and see that Damien has also reached for a handful and our hands are in the bowl together, touching.
“Sorry.” I say quietly, I blush slightly and quickly remove my hand, focusing on the movie.
Halfway through the movie and I zone out, my mind is too busy running around. Of course, it’s about Damien again. Things are clearly changing. I am no longer scared or rebellious in being held here anymore, I am feeling more at home everyday, if it weren’t for the cage in the bedroom, anyone would think we just spending time together in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, and that I weren’t being held here against my will.
Honestly, am I really a captive anymore? Technically yes, I am, I have no doubt in my mind that if I tried to escape again Damien would catch me and hurt me. If I weren’t pregnant though, would I even be trying still?
I realise that if I weren’t pregnant then none of this would even be happening. I would probably still be in the basement chained to the wall or chained up in my tiny cage and he would still be trying to touch me and pretending that we’re a happy family.
What’s even worse? My feelings are changing. Yes, I still hate him, but I no longer see him as the mad maniac who kidnapped me. Now I see a lonely man, who just needs someone to love.
If I weren’t pregnant, then my feelings towards Damien probably wouldn’t have started to change. I have no doubt now that I would definitely be trying to escape still.
“I got you a present.” Damien’s voice brings me out of my thoughts. I notice the movie is over and I wonder how long I was zoned out for.
“Huh?” I say. He’s holding a small, long box in his hand. Where did that come from?
I take the box from his hand and stare at it. I realise that it’s the same kind of box he used to send me the roses. Why would he get me a gift? Is it because I’m pregnant? He keeps staring at me so I slowly lift the lid and look inside.
Sitting on a silk cushion, is a charm bracelet. The charms are mostly books, I do love to read, but
a closer look reveals charms with small photos in. I gasp as I see my family staring back at me. A single charm holds one photo. There is one of my mum, another shows my dad, another is of Cleo, and even Karen, who I haven’t spoken to for a long time, has her own photo. I notice there isn’t a photo of Toby and I wonder if that’s intentional.
I think again about my family and how much I miss them. I can’t believe It has only been two and a half months since I was taken. It feels like longer.
Tears spring to my eyes and without a word, I go back to my cage and close the door, locking myself in, I know he can easily open it but hopefully he gets the message. I sit in the corner behind the screen and sob quietly.
When my tears have run out and I can’t cry any more, I look again at the photos. I should hate it, but instead, I love it. Now, I have a way to see them, to pretend they are here. Maybe it won’t be so bad.
“DAMIEN!” I shout and a few seconds later he appears in the doorway. I show him the bracelet which now sits on my wrist and smile slightly, “Thank you.” I tell him. He nods his head and smiles, almost as if embarrassed and comes to open my door.
For the rest of the day we watch more movies. At dinner, we sit at the table in silence.
I decide to sleep early tonight, to escape the awkwardness between us. After going to the bathroom and changing into some pyjamas, I climb into bed and close my eyes. I don’t dream that night but I do sleep the best I have in months.
✽✽✽
The next day when I wake, I decide it’s time to talk to Damien about going to see a doctor. Things have changed between us now so I hope he will be more reasonable.
After dressing, I find him in the kitchen making breakfast. I take a deep breath and walk towards him. “Damien. Can I talk to you?” I ask. He turns around and smiles.
“Good morning.” he says with a smile, “What's up?” he asks.
Another deep breath. “Well, as you know, I'm pregnant.” he beams at this but lets me talk. “Well, I was just wondering if you would take me to see a doctor?” I ask, sheepishly.
The smile disappears from his face and is replaced with a frown. I can see the struggle in his eyes, he knows I need a doctor but he doesn’t want me to be found, doesn’t want me to be taken away from him.
“OK. You can see a doctor.” he says after a few minutes. I'm frozen in shock as he walks out the kitchen, a minute later and he walks out the cabin. I can't believe it. Is he seriously going to take me to see someone? A grin spreads across my face as I go to the sofa, I peek out the window and see Damien on his phone, talking to someone on the other end.
I sit down and pick out a DVD to watch. Damien has disconnected the TV channels, he doesn’t want me to watch any TV anymore in case I see anything about me on there and it causes me to act out, same with the landline, that was disconnected when I was allowed to be free around the cabin so I don’t try and call anyone. That only leaves me with the DVD player for decent entertainment. I only read my books and use the colouring books that Damien got me for when I want to relax.
For the rest of the day I’m in such a happy mood. As soon as Damien takes me to see a doctor, that will be my chance to escape.
Since Damien is busy, it is up to me to cook dinner, something I have been allowed to do lately, as long as it doesn't include anything sharp. I have never cooked before so I do something simple, a tuna and sweetcorn pasta with mayonnaise, perfect to eat hot or cold.
After dinner, we watch more movies until it’s late. I end up falling asleep on the sofa a few hours later and Damien carries me to bed.
CHAPTER 33
The next day, Damien spends most of the day talking on the phone again, outside the cabin so I can’t hear what he’s saying. Hopefully, it’s about my appointment. I still don’t know where we are so I don’t know how long we would have to travel, I hope it’s not too far.
As I get further along in my pregnancy, Damien insists that I stay off my feet, but I have gotten tired of watching TV and reading all day so with nothing else to do, I start cleaning, it’s a good job we don’t use chemicals to clean.
At dinner time, Damien finally comes inside to start cooking. “Good news.” he announces, as he stands in front of me. I look at him and wait, hopeful that it’s good news for me and not him. “You are seeing a doctor tomorrow afternoon.” he tells me then heads into the kitchen.
“Really?” I ask with a huge smile on my face. Damien nods his head and starts to prepare the dinner.
I lift my arm and look at the bracelet that sits on my wrist, my family looks back at me. I’ll be home soon.
Tonight, we have spaghetti and meatballs and my stomach doesn’t stop growling until I have finished three servings. Afterwards, I lean back in my chair, feeling too stuffed to move. Damien ends up carrying me to my bed when I fall asleep not soon after and I sleep right through the night.
When I wake the next morning, I remember today’s the day I see a doctor. With a little hop, I jump in the shower and wash my body and hair then quickly jump out. I dress in a pair of jeans and a nice top then I brush out my long hair, which now sits on my hips, I make a note to get it cut as soon as I can.
When I am dressed, I look around the room and decide against taking anything with me. I don’t want to have anything that he gave me. Reluctantly, I remove the bracelet from around my wrist and place it on top of the drawers. Then, with a smile, I go into the living room where I find Damien sitting on the sofa watching TV, in his pyjamas.
“I'm ready.” I say, confused. Why isn’t he dressed?
“What for?” he asks and turns to look at me, taking in my appearance he raises a brow. “What are you all dressed up for?”
Still confused I tell him, “You said we were going to see a doctor today.”
He laughs and stands up to face me. “I never said that.” He laughs some more and my stomach drops, did I misunderstand what he said yesterday? “I said you were seeing a doctor, I never said you were going anywhere.” he comes over and puts a hand on my shoulder. “Do you really think that I would risk letting you out into the world and risk someone seeing you and taking you away from me? I can't have that.” he shakes his head and disappears into the kitchen.
I have no words for how I feel right now, my heart feels like it has been stabbed a thousand times over and I start to feel nauseous. This was my only chance of freedom. My feelings towards Damien may have changed, I have accepted that now but that doesn’t mean that I want to be stuck here in this cabin forever. I run back into the bedroom and lock myself in my cage, only then do I let the tears fall.
I sob for hours, I should have known that Damien wouldn’t have taken me anywhere, it was wishful thinking and I was too naive. That was why he has been on the phone all day for the past two days, he was probably looking for some criminal to come look at me and my baby. I shiver at the thought of yet another stranger, a bad guy, touching my body. My stomach turns and I have to grab my bucket.
✽✽✽
A couple of hours pass before I hear a knock on the door. My heart leaps thinking it’s someone here to rescue me but my mind shuts it down. It’s only my ‘doctor'.
A few minutes later and Damien walks into the room with a woman following behind him. To my surprise it’s the blonde, Russian lady that was at Dante's warehouse last year. I swallow the lump that forms in my throat as she looks at me with a toothy grin, she hasn’t changed at all. I didn’t know she had evaded the police back then. I am glad, however, no matter how twisted it may seem, that it’s not a complete stranger who will be looking at me.
“Hello again, little girl.” she says to me then turns to Damien, “Here will be fine.” Damien nods his head and opens the cage door.
I am sitting on the bed while the lady, who has brought all kinds of medical equipment with her, does some tests on me. So far, I have done a urine test, a blood test and a breast exam and now she is typing some stuff on her laptop.
I learn that my doctors name is Katenka and
that she is actually a real nurse, or was a nurse before she became a criminal. Katenka had attended nursing school when she first came to the UK many, many years ago but then she got mixed up with the bad guys and now she is a nurse for them. At least I don’t have to worry about any infections or anything since Katenka takes her job very seriously and doesn’t allow for mistakes to be made.
Another hour passes and I have gone through a full physical exam. I have also had my first ultrasound exam and I am waiting for my photo, which I should get in a few minutes. Katenka said the results of all the other tests will come back in a few hours. She walks out the room then to talk to Damien, who is pacing around the living room because he was kicked out of the bedroom until the exam was over.
While I wait, I decide to have another shower to wash away the feeling of being pricked and prodded. I stand under the spray, my mind still numb from the realisation of possibly being stuck here in this cabin. My only reason to keep going is my baby, she will keep me strong.
Some time later, Damien walks in the room, he tells me that Katenka has left and will come back in a month for another round of tests. He tells me that my tests all came back fine but I am a little malnourished. “I wonder why.” I laugh to myself. His eyes narrow but he doesn’t say anything, instead he takes something out of his pocket and hands it to me.
I take whatever it is from his outstretched hand and turn it over. Immediately my eyes water as tears threaten to spill and a smile works its way onto my face. On the small piece of photo paper, is the first image of my baby.
CHAPTER 34
She’s beautiful, I think to myself as I look at the photo in my hand. I’ve been looking at it for over an hour now and I couldn’t possibly get tired of doing so. I say ‘she’ because I hope for a little girl. Growing up I had always pictured myself holding my little girl, spoiling her rotten and having the perfect relationship, you know the kind where you’re also best friends? I want to give her the world.
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