Last Heartbreak

by H. M. Ward

  I shudder and Graham bursts out laughing. He puts an arm around my waist and pulls me in close, looking at me like I'm dessert. "Can I call you Mother, too?"

  He pulls me even closer, his mouth to my ear, making my skin break out in goose bumps. He speaks quietly, making sure Lori doesn't hear us, "Yes, Mother. Whatever you want, Mother. I'm coming, Mother."

  With both hands I push on his shoulders, trying to push him away. "Call me Mother one time, and I'll rip your testicles off. I mean it." Graham's laughter rings out, filling the room with its joyous sound.

  "On that happy threat, I think it's time we make it official." Graham takes the engagement ring from the box and slips it onto my finger.

  A tiny voice pipes up from below. "But what about me? Can I call you Mom?" Lori is right beside us, looking up at me expectantly, still waiting for her answer.

  "I’d love it if you called me Mom."

  I open my arms to her, ready for a hug but instead she high fives me, taking me completely off guard. "Cool beans! I just have one request, Mom."

  "Anything."

  She points her little pointer finger toward my face. "Don’t EVER give my elf a boob job EVER again! Do you know how hard it’s been to boost her intelligence level back up?" She throws her arms up in the air in exasperation, making Graham and I break out into more laughter. If this is any indication of what the years ahead of us will be like, laughter will be often heard in our home.

  CHAPTER 37

  "I now pronounce you husband and wife. Mr. and Mrs. Parker. You may kiss the bride."

  The quickie chapel official wears a royal blue jumpsuit, has pointy ears and oddly shaped eyebrows. His hand is up in the air, palm facing us with his fingers spaced out in the middle. I was told he was our best option. If Graham's reaction is any indication, I was well advised. Graham dips me into a slow, deep kiss, making my insides stir with every brush of his tongue against mine. Lori makes gagging noises next to us, but this time, we don't let her interrupt. We'll remember this kiss forever, so I'm making it last.

  "Have I told you that you are the greatest wife a husband could ever ask for?"

  "I don't think you have. Tell me again."

  "You're the greatest wife a husband could ever ask for."

  "No regrets?"

  "None. Kia, you are fucking perfect."

  I punch him in the shoulder. "Hey. Watch your dirty mouth in front of my daughter you twat! I'm glad you think I'm so perfect—you'll need to hold onto that thought when your father-in-law goes batshit insane on your ass."

  "Who has the dirty mouth now?" He replies, rubbing his shoulder vigorously.

  Our happy little family of three exits the chapel and heads back to the hotel in our limousine. We take a selfie and send it to Lilah, showing off the ring.

  There's still no news from my family. I can't believe I did it. I married the man I love. Whatever the consequences will be, we will face them together. Graham and I discuss the specifics of having me become Lori's mom. Since Graham is her legal guardian, we need to make sure she's under my care if my father decides to send CPS our way. I already asked my lawyer to start the process of appointing me as her successor guardian. My father can accuse Graham all he wants, but CPS won't be able to touch her.

  Back in our suite, I tuck Lori into bed and kiss her good night, happy I'll see her smiling face tomorrow morning and every morning after that. She looks so small and delicate, lost in the king-sized bed, surrounded by piles of fluffy pillows. I leave her and Graham alone for their little nighttime ritual, closing the door behind me. I don't stay to listen this time. This is their private time together, with their mother. A time for them to keep her memory alive in their hearts.

  Standing alone by the window, I stare out at the nighttime landscape of unending blinking lights and start a little ritual of my own. It's time I keep someone else's memory alive in my own heart. I'm not afraid to think about her anymore. It still hurts to remember, and the guilt is still there, but it's not as hard as it used to be. Eventually, the happy memories will shine brighter, and the sad ones will fade. Her memory will bring a smile to my face instead of tears. It'll take time, but it will happen.

  Willing myself to be brave, I conjure the memory of attending my first Trystan Scott concert with Alyson, remembering how excited we’d been when that floodlight kicked on behind him and he pulled out that acoustic guitar. When we met him backstage, just like in every interview he gave at the time, he’d claimed there was no specific girl for whom he’d written that song. Alyson and I spent the ride home arguing over which one of us would become that girl, crushing over him just as hard as Lori does now.

  I'm smiling, happy to be lost in a memory of Alyson for the first time since her death, when a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist from behind. “Hello, Mrs. Parker.” Graham plants a trail of soft kisses from the base of my neck to my earlobe. "You look miles away. Want to talk about it?"

  I sigh contentedly, and I tilt my head to the side, making it easier for him to kiss my neck. The peaceful closeness is bliss. "I was thinking about Alyson. I think she would be happy for us."

  Graham slumps down and rests his chin on my shoulder. "Hmmm. I'm pretty sure my mother is having a conniption in her grave right now, knowing my bride dressed as a vampire's wet dream at our wedding, but she'd love you. In a way, you remind me a lot of her."

  "Okay, now that's a shit-ton of weirdness right there."

  "You know what I mean, wiseass."

  "I do." I fold my arms around my waist, covering his arms with mine and holding on tight. We let ourselves be sad for the people that aren’t here with us today, but we get to hold onto each other and mourn them together. We'll be each other's sidekicks from here on out.

  We stand quietly until our respective mourning turns into comfort and comfort turns into something entirely different.

  Graham's chest presses into my back, his every breath deepening. His intoxicating smell envelops me.

  Every cell in my body is waking up, calling out to him. His voice is low and deep, his mouth close to my ear. “Didn't you say we have a honeymoon suite ready for us tonight?" I shiver, my need for him intensifying. I nod once and lean back, pressing my back against him. His grip on my waist tightens. "Do you know how badly I want to peel that lace off of you? I’ve been hard since the moment you proposed to me." His words are like hot ambers of fire stoked back to life.

  "Is that why you said yes? So you could get me out of this dress?"

  "For tonight and every day for the rest of my life. You turn me on no matter what you're wearing." He lets out a breathy laugh in my ear, making me tingle even more. "How long do we have before we lose the nanny?” One hand traces my lace neckline, slowing at the curve of each breast. He strokes his fingers lightly over my skin. Visions of things to come assault my senses and quicken my breath. His teasing touch is driving me wild inside. His mouth drops hot, biting kisses along my neck again, the tip of his tongue taking little licks as he goes, making me slightly weak, especially when he starts to nibble my earlobe.

  I want to be with him so badly, to feel the connection we had our first and only night together. The thought of making it to the honeymoon suite seems like torture right now. If it weren't for Lori in the next room, and the chance of the nanny walking in on us at any time, I'd rip that tux off of his back right this instant. I can barely manage to answer him, lost in a haze of lust and need. “We have until tomorrow morning.”

  “Well then, Mrs. Parker, it's my turn to blow your mind. Get ready for a wedding night you'll never forget."

  "Really? Anything specific in mind?" My arms reach up to tangle in his thick, wavy hair. My back arches, pushing my breasts forward, hoping he'll get the subtle hint and touch me harder.

  He's breathing hard into my ear, and I'm about to combust. I'm at the pleading point. I need him to make love to me, but he just keeps teasing me.

  "Kienna?" His voice is only a whisper in my ear, low and fierce, almost menacing. "
I plan on one-upping good old Dick tonight. I hope you're up for it because my broadsword will be hard long after the sixth time my saltiness spurts majestically from my pulsating love muscle.”

  Wait, what?

  The way he says it sounds so over the top, like he's the male character from one of my erotica novels. The lusty spell he has me under shatters. He flashes a full-wattage dorky smile and waggles his eyebrows.

  We both laugh loudly. The nanny comes out of Lori's room, wearing a scolding look, motioning for us to be quiet.

  He's a dork, but that's why I love him with every living cell in my body. He's my best friend, and now my husband! He makes me smile and laugh at the most unexpected of times, a treasure worth more than all the money in all the Delacroix vaults. No matter what the consequences, I know I'll be happy because we'll be together.

  Playing his game, I place the back of my hand on my forehead, pretending to faint, and melt into him.

  “Oh, Mr. Parker! You throbbing piece of man meat! Take me now!”

  He scoops me up in his arms, and we make our way to the honeymoon suite, where he does take me.

  Many times over.

  * * *

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  STRIPPED: A Ferro Family Novel

  Stripped (Excerpt)

  THE FERRO FAMILY

  Chapter 1, Cassie

  Bruce claps his big beefy hands at us like we’re misbehaving dogs. “Come on ladies! Hustle! The bachelor party isn’t going to be much fun if we never get there. Damn, Gretchen, you aren’t even dressed, yet?”

  She laughs like he’s funny, even though Bruce is as far from funny as a person could get. He’s the bouncer at the club and on nights like tonight, he comes with us to keep the guys from getting handsy. Some rich brat out on Long Island rented us for the night. There are seven of us going to perform on stage, plus the stripping wait staff, and dear, sweet, Bruce.

  Gretchen is piling her long golden hair onto the top of her head and securing it with a long bobby pin. She’s strutting around half naked, as if we like looking at her. She smiles sweetly at Bruce and waves a hand, bending it at the wrist like he’s silly. “Please, I’ll be ready before Cassie even finishes lacing up her corset.”

  She tilts her head in my direction as I fumble with my corset hooks. Every time I manage to hook one, another comes undone. Whoever invented the corset should be burned at the stake. The stupid thing might look cool once it’s on, but getting into it is a whole other matter. Add in the fact that mine is a real corset—meaning it has steel boning—and breathing isn’t something I can do either. I got this thing because it was authentic. I thought that meant it had period fabric or grommets or something cool. It turns out that authentic means metal rods built into the bodice, guaranteed to bruise my ribs. Fuck, I hate this thing, but I refuse to throw it away—it cost me three weeks’ pay at my old job. Plus, it’s not like I wear it every night. We only pull out the good stuff on holidays and for special events like this.

  Bruce turns his head my way and looks like he wants to pull out his hair. I’m nearly dressed, except for this contraption. My ensemble includes the candy apple colored corset, lace-topped thigh highs, and a delicate little G-string, coupled with heels that could be used as weapons. If I ever get mugged wearing these shoes, you can bet your ass that I won’t run, not that I could. These are the things I think about when I make my purchases. Can this purse do some damage? Maybe I should skip the leather Dooney and grab me that metal no-name bag with the sharp corners. My roommate and I live across the street from a drug den. Don’t even get me started on that. I know we need to move, but knowing it and affording it are two different things. In the meantime, I buy accessories that can be used as weapons.

  Glaring at her, I reply, “Gee, thanks, Gretch.” My fingers push the next bit of metal through the grommet. This one stays put.

  She bats her glittering lashes at me. “No problem.” Gretchen is tall and lanky with a larger-than-life super model thing going on. I hate her. She’s a bitch with a capital B. It’s all good, though. She hates me, too. It’s difficult to be hostile toward someone that likes you. Gretchen makes it easy to hate her guts.

  Me, I’m not a supermodel. I’m nothing to look at—my mom drilled that into my head a million times. I’m completely average with sub-par confidence, but I can act. I can fake it so that once I hit that stage, I’m as good as the rest of the strippers.

  No, I didn’t dream of being a pole dancer when I was a little kid, but my life took some wicked turns and here I am, dealing with it. There are worse things I suppose, although I won’t be able to think of a single one when I’m letting a bunch of pervs rake their lusty eyes over my naked body. The truth is, I hate this. I’d rather be anywhere else, doing anything else. The gynecologist’s office, sign me up. Root canal, no problem. I’ll be there early and with a smile on my face. Anything is better than this.

  Bruce lingers in the dressing room for too long, staring at his watch. His thick arms are folded over his broad chest as he watches the second hand tick off the passing time. He ignores Gretch’s gibe at me. I may be newer, but I pull in a lot more cash and that’s what the boss likes—lots of money. As long as I keep doing it, I have a job.

  I finally get my corset hooked up when Beth walks by. She’s already wearing some frilly satin thing. “Hey, Cassie. Do you want me to lace you up?”

  Tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, I nod. “Yeah, thanks.” She laces me in, pulling each X tightly, cinching me up until I can barely breathe. “Tight enough?”

  I try to inhale deeply, and can’t because the metal bars inside the fabric won’t permit it. I nod and press my hands to the bodice, feeling the supple satin under my hands. “Yeah, tighter than that and I’ll pass out—or pop a boob.”

  She laughs, “You’re the only one who worries about stuff like that. You’re so cute.” She ties off the strings and tucks them in before swatting my back when she’s finished. My boobs are hiked up so high that I can’t see my toes when I look down. I grab my robe and wrap it around me as we head to the cars. It’s going to be a long night.

  * * *

  The ride to the party is short. We’re on the north shore of Long Island, not too far from the coast. There are tons of old homes with huge lawns and even bigger estate houses nestled out of sight between towering oaks and pines. The place hosting the party looks like a castle. We pass through the gates and drive around to the side of the house. The van stops and we’re told the usual—go wait in the servants’ wing until it’s time.

  Beth and I walk inside, shoulder to shoulder, whispering about the garish wealth that’s practically dripping from the walls as we walk inside. Gretchen and a few other girls trail behind us, chattering about what kind of tips they’ll make tonight. A party like this can line a girl’s pockets for a month if it goes well, but for me it’ll do more than that. You see, I’m the main event, the mystery girl in the pink room—the bachelor’s private-party dancer. While my coworkers are off in the main hall, I’ll be earning the big bucks. That’s the main reason why Gretchen hates my guts. Before I came along, she was the top stripper around here.

  It’s getting late, which means the party is well under way. Beth picks up a tiny sandwich off a tray as she walks to the back of the bustling room. “You think this guy knows what’s coming?”

  I shrug. “Like it matters, anyway? When’s the last time we were sent away?”

  “Uh, never.” She pops the food in her mouth and chews it up.

  I’m leaning against a counter top with my elbows behind me, supporting my weight. “My point exactly. Guys are dicks. They commit to marrying a woman, but this kind of crap the night before the wedding is okay.” I roll my eyes as I mak
e a disgusted sound, and straighten up. All of a sudden I’m talking with my hands and they’re flying all over the place, “Tell me, why would a guy want a lap dance if he’s in love? You’d think he’d only want his bride, but that never happens. He’s always happy to have an ass in his face.”

  “Well, your ass is pretty awesome, or so I’ve heard.” Beth smirks at me and glances around the kitchen. We’re in the way, but there isn’t anywhere else for us to go yet.

  “Guys suck, that’s all I’m saying.”

  “I know. You’ve said it a million times.” She makes a roaring sound and shakes her fist in the air before turning to me and grunting, “Men. Evil.”

  “You’re an idiot.” I smile at her, trying not to laugh.

  She points at me and clicks her tongue. “Right back at you, Cassie.”

  Bruce waves us over to the other side of the kitchen. “Cassie, Beth—follow me.” We duck out behind him and follow the guy down the hall and slip into a little room. It’s been done up in pale pinks with silver curtains, similar to the room I work in at the club. Since this is a party, Bruce added another dancer and I got to choose. While I work the stage at the front of the room, Beth will work the floor.

  Bruce points a beefy finger at the stage and says to us, “Take your places, and remember that this client is the shit. Pull out all the stops, say ‘no’ to nothing. You got it?”

  We nod in unison. The stage is elevated off the floor, with a few steps up at either end. It looks like the stage is new, built just for me. People usually rent those gray, make-shift stages that wobble when walked on, but not this guy. They spared no expense. The walls are lined with pale pink silks and illuminated from the floor. Clear tables flicker around the room with pink flames dancing within. It’s seductive. The colors blend together, reminding me of pale flesh and kissable pink lips. As I climb the steps up the side of the stage and head to the silvery tinsel curtain, I call back to Beth. “Who is this party for again? And why is he the shit? I must have missed the memo.”