“It does, but I don’t want to let you go.”
She turned to face him. “I don’t want you to, either.” Beth accepted his kiss, even when his tongue raked her teeth. Combing her fingers through his hair, she squeezed him tighter.
He broke away to ask, “Should we continue, or say goodnight?”
“I want more, Nicholas,” she replied, feeling an emptiness only he could fill.
He groaned while kissing her again and nipping to the base of her neck, not stopping until his face nestled into her cleavage. His touch led her to the edge of a cliff and she didn’t want him to stop. Beth had never experienced such intimate touching before, and she shuddered at how good his lips felt there. When she ran her hands down his back, he moaned. She smiled at his reaction, asking, “Do you mind?”
“No, please continue.”
She felt his firm muscles tense under her caress and felt the same anticipation in her own body. “I’m not sure what else to do with you.”
“It’s all instinct, or should be.” He looked into her eyes. “I’m no different from any other man.” Nicholas kissed her chin, sliding up so their lips met.
She gasped, feeling the hardest part of him between her legs, and forgot to argue how exceptional he felt to her. Beth held on to his shoulders, both afraid of the building hunger in her, yet needing more from him. She paused to give herself one last chance to refuse anything increasingly intimate. His insistent point so close to completing her tempted her sorely. His kisses, his touch, and the feel of his skin against hers all intoxicated her into letting him have whatever he desired. She reached under the waistband of his pants and at the same time lifted her hips so he pressed a little more at her opening. The sensation sent a ripple of lust through her. “Nicholas? Would you please take me now?”
“Oh God yes, Elizabeth,” he whispered against her ear.
She felt him slide into her, easy at first and more than halfway. He didn’t stop or even pause, instead pressing through until she felt a slight resistance. Beth gasped at the discomfort, which ended almost as soon as it began.
Nicholas stopped, being very still. “Have you never done this before?”
His question called to mind all the other times, events she never wanted to remember again. “Nick, I, I’d thought so, but not like this, not with so much of a man.”
His body relaxed as if boneless and then shook with silent laughter. “You flatter me.”
“I don’t mean to, but this is something else.” She pressed her face against his neck. Feeling his heartbeat, his breath, the salty clean smell of him, Beth wanted tonight to wash away every prior bad experience her body had ever had. “Could you continue?”
“If you insist….”
Hearing the amusement in his voice, she kissed his neck. “I liked how easily you entered me.”
Nicholas exhaled, hard, as if needing strength. “God, so did I.” He withdrew a little and slid in again, this time a little further than before. “This doesn’t hurt?”
“No.” She wrapped her arms around him, his body hard against hers. Beth understood and shared his tension, even if she wasn’t quite sure what to do about it. She wiggled her hips, surprised at how pleasant being pinned down by him felt. “Maybe move again, please?”
He gasped out a strangled, “Yes, ma’am.” He continued moving, slowly at first, then faster.
She looked at him, and seeing his face pained, wondered if this now hurt him instead of her. “Is this all right for you?”
“Yes.” Nicholas slid his hands under her back, holding Beth tight against him. “Better than I ever imagined.”
“Good.” She enjoyed how he filled her too much and then withdrew. “Oh, very good.” Just as she longed for him again, he entered her yet again. Each time, he built a hunger within Beth she didn’t understand. She ran her hands up and down his back as if that could give her relief. His thrusts slowed and a little cry of protest left her. “No! I’m so close, you can’t stop.”
He turned his face away with a growl. “I’ll do what I can.” He continued to stay up on his elbows but kept his eyes closed while he thrust into her.
The feel of his bare skin against her thighs thrilled Beth. Nicholas’s teasing movements built up a pressure she wanted eased. To help, she lifted her hips each time he pushed forward. “Yes, Nick, more.” She shuddered, fearing the increasing strain would never end.
When he said, “Let go, Beth, let me….” she responded in an instant. Every muscle, every pulse in her body throbbed in pleasure radiating from his center to hers. She cried out a little before biting his shoulder so others couldn’t hear. He continued to move, beyond the point where her tremors eased. His pace increased and when he stopped, Beth held him as his body echoed hers in relief. He cried out into her neck, every muscle tight with the long held release. Now relaxed, she enjoyed feeling him experience the same pleasure she’d felt.
Nicholas lifted his chin, looked into her eyes, and said, “You’ve honored me far more than I’ll ever deserve.”
She smiled at him, still in her. “Whew! No wonder the Murphy’s have so many children. This is very enjoyable.”
“I agree.” He chuckled and nuzzled along the side of her face. “You’re amazing.” Nicholas turned away and yawned. “You’ve done me in, sweetheart.”
Turning Beth to where her back faced him, he pulled her close, his arm wrapped around her waist. She didn’t mind, enjoying the feel of him against her. Lulled by her body’s relaxed state and his warmth, Beth fell asleep.
Beth reached consciousness in short stages. The cold seeped into her bones first. The dawn so new, the sun’s light didn’t yet touch the frozen dew. She didn’t feel Nicholas at all and sat up in a hurry. Had something happened to him, she wondered while looking for his horse. Beth didn’t see Buck anywhere, so had he left her? His blanket still covered her, while his bedding also lay on the ground. He had to be nearby. A movement to the south caught her eye. Nicholas approached carrying a few pieces of firewood.
“You’re awake,” he said, putting the wood on the dead embers. “Good. Let’s get started on the day already.” He looked up from starting a fire and indicated her dress. “You’ll want to be wearing clothes, since the other camp is still here.”
Her eyebrows rose at the suggestion. She’d not been unclothed in front of anyone in such a way. “Of course.” Beth wore her blanket as a wrap and kept it to cover her as she shrugged into her dress. “There, crisis averted.”
He gave her a stare and shook his head. “We’ll need water.”
Without a word, she took the cook pot and headed for the river. She made her way back to see the fire going well.
Before Beth could ask, Nicholas anticipated her question and answered, “Yes, I need you to start the coffee while I mix the dough.”
“Very well.” She started the coffee and sat on the bedroll, still half asleep.
“You could fold up our bedding while I cook our breakfast,” he said, concentrating on his task.
“I could, after a cup of coffee.”
“You could now while we’re waiting.”
“You can stop giving me orders since I know what to do. The sun is barely up, I can be sleepy if I want.”
“I can order Miss Roberts around like she’s one of my hands,” he replied. “I had no say so when you were Mrs. Bartlett, but now? I can tell you exactly what to do for the benefit of our party.” Nicholas handed her his pocketknife and the preserves from his saddlebag.
She took them in a huff, retorting, “How kind of you to treat me as one of your men. Do I get pay for this?”
He grinned. “Your payment is time spent with me.”
“My goodness, I’m underwhelmed.”
“Good, I hoped so.” Nicholas sealed up the jar. “Seriously, though, I’d prefer if you did as I say most times. Not because I want to be your boss, but because your welfare is important to me.”
She tried to still be angry, but couldn’t in light of his obvious concern. “I
appreciate that and will do as you say.”
“Not entirely, I hope.” Nicholas kissed her cheek on his way to get Buck. “I don’t like when you give in to Bartlett and wouldn’t like you giving in to me so easily.”
“You are so impossible. Like trying to catch a chicken in the open field. Just as I’m close, you run away, cackling.”
Once on the horse, he asked, “Like a chicken, eh?”
“Yes, but not afraid like one, just wily.” She gave him a droll stare and he laughed.
He held out his hand to help her up. “As much fun as you are to bother, we need to saddle up again.”
“Very well.” She washed while he folded and packed, ready to leave when he was.
The day passed in a hurry. She’d make comments to him on the land, noting the mountains to the north and west. Nicholas replied in single words. At early afternoon, they stopped for a little while. Beth took the opportunity to walk around while the horse grazed at the sparse grass. “Are we going to eat too?”
He shrugged, saying, “I’d prefer not to at the moment.”
Beth tried and failed to keep a hungry edge from her voice. “Didn’t you make extra at breakfast?”
“I did.” He sighed. “All right, eat one or two biscuits now, and I’ll fix a good sized dinner this evening.”
She went to his saddlebag for food. “Did you want one also, and the preserves?”
“I suppose so, and hold off on the preserves for now.”
Beth made a face while turned away from him. Too bad he couldn’t suppose himself a better mood, she thought. Hadn’t last night been a momentous event, one to give a person a brighter outlook on life? She handed a biscuit to him and bit into her own. Sullenly, Beth knew jam would have made the small meal taste better.
He glanced at her. “I don’t want to hear your argument. No telling how far ahead the others are, and I have nothing to trade when that runs out.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to, your face shows your thoughts.” He got up on his horse and held out his hand for her to follow. “Let’s get started.”
Wordless, she let him help her. His bad mood had affected her too, despite her struggle to prevent it. When placing a bedroll between them, she was glad to soften the cantle as well as keep her distance.
They rode for miles. Only the horse’s hooves on the rocks and dry ground along with the hum of insects sounded. Tired and still unhappy with Nicholas’s attitude, Beth concentrated on what to say to Daggart when she faced him. All she wanted from him was her trunk, some food, and an ox to pull whatever discarded wagon she could find. She’d gladly be dead to him once more, after he met her conditions.
“We’re still a ways from Horseshoe Creek. It’s a decent place to camp, and I’d like to get there before dark.” Nicholas looked back at her. “Would you like to stop here and stretch your legs?”
She squeezed his shoulder, grateful for the suggestion. “Yes, that sounds lovely.”
“All right.” Holding out his hand, she took it, sliding off due to being sore. As she landed with a grunt, he said, “We can’t stay too long.”
“Of course.” She walked down to the bottom of an almost dry creek bed with him as he led the horse to the thin stream of water. “Will we have dinner before dark?”
“I’ll see that we do.” They both watched as Buck nosed around for grass. “I know you’re hungry, Beth. I am too.” He reached up and brushed a stray lock of hair from her face. “Tonight’s meal will make up for noon’s lack.”
“Thank you.” She smiled, her mood softening from his warmth. “I’m trying to not be difficult.”
“You have a couple of days alone and hungry to catch up from and I need to remember that. So do say when you need to stop or when you want more to eat.” He got on Buck, scanning the horizon. “I don’t know there’s much here to hunt, but I’ll do my best.”
“I’m sure you will.” She took his hand and joined him on the horse. “You’ve been a true hero so far.”
“Not quite.” He brought her hand to his mouth. “What I’ve done isn’t so much heroic as necessary for my sanity.” Nicholas kissed her before letting go. “I couldn’t live with myself without knowing what truly happened to you.”
She looked down at the saddle, wanting to hide a smile. Although wanting to ask, wanting to know more about his thoughts and feelings, she hesitated. Beth bit her lip, thinking. What if, like Daggart, Nicholas loved his first wife so much he couldn’t love another woman? She’d felt like he loved her last night. However, he’d not said as much then or today. After their intimacy, she understood how both men pined for their first loves.
“We’ll be there soon. Are you doing all right?” He looked back at her.
His question shook her from her thoughts. “Yes, thank you.”
Grinning, he said, “You’re the politest woman.”
Not knowing what to say in reply, she instead examined his face. Nicholas would be difficult to resist if he’d shave as he’d done last night. “I try to always be mannerly.” Beth noticed how his gaze softened when she glanced into his eyes. She saw the same longing she’d seen in him last night, fireside.
“You do very well.” He turned, facing ahead. They rode on for a while, him silent and her wondering what he thought. He broke the quiet first. “When Sam hauled me to Independence, I went along to help. Begrudgingly, of course.” He glanced back at her chuckle. “I didn’t have plans, didn’t want them. Then, there’s this woman sitting on a bench in town, minding her own business. She glanced up from her knitting, and when I saw the color of her eyes, she’d hooked me like a fish. I’ve not been my own man since.”
“Oh.” Beth smiled. Clouds in the west covered the sun, the shade cooling her warm face. She didn’t know what to say to him in return. Daggart’s rash actions had so distracted her then and since. “I remember your smell, sadly, but also know the next day you looked quite handsome. Enough to almost rival Samuel.”
He laughed, “Almost? I’ll settle for that.”
The late afternoon inched into dusk as they rode on. Just when the brightest stars began to shine, Nicholas pulled Buck up short. “All right, ma’am, we’re here for the night.” Now a habit, he helped her dismount and soon followed. “We’ll have a decent sized dinner and make enough for a couple of quick meals tomorrow.” She helped with the saddlebags while he stripped his horse of everything else. “Hand me the cook pot and I’ll get water while caring for Buck.”
She handed him the pot. He did his chores while she built a small fire from the surrounding sagebrush and rolled out their bedding. She did a quick check of their supplies. They still had some beans and rice, the bacon just enough to flavor one meal. Flour, sugar, and soda remained plenty, and Nicholas had been correct about the preserves. They’d both been using too much on each biscuit. When he brought up the water, she put in a couple of handfuls of rice and beans to cook.
Nicholas rummaged around in his personal saddlebag. “The creek is full, if you’d like to wash. I might take this chance to shave and skip tomorrow.”
She nodded, having noticed the alternating scruffy days. “I wouldn’t mind washing my feet, if the water is clear and cool.”
“Go on ahead and I’ll be there in a moment.”
Taking his advice, Beth went ahead to the creek. She sat, unlacing her boots and peeling off her sweaty socks. The bank sloped to an easy walk into the water. She stepped in and gave a little yelp at the icy temperature.
“Is it so cold?”
She turned to see him shirtless, his pants rolled up to his knees. “Very!” The sandy bed felt good to her toes.
“Maybe I won’t shave after all.” He stroked stubble growing into a beard. “This cocklebur stage lasts only a few days.”
She smiled at his apt description. “You will have a beard by the time we reach the others then. I rather liked your face smooth but can see how much easier a beard might be.”
He returned
her smile. “Did you need the soap?”
“Yes, please. I’d like to wash today’s dust from my face.” She carefully took the soap and rubbed it in her hands before giving the bar back to Nicholas. She dipped fingers into the water and used the water to work up a lather. Rubbing her hands together, Beth warmed her palms and washed her face. Eyes closed from the suds, she panicked a little, remembering where she stood. She yelped when she felt a hand on her upper arm.
“It’s all right. I have you. Go ahead and rinse, I’ll stay here until you’re done.” He touched her back, leaving his hand there even as she bent to splash her face clean.
When done, Beth used her upper sleeve to wipe the water from her eyes. She looked up at him and saw the last rays of twilight’s golden glow illuminating his face. The tension hovered between them like the humidity in a Missouri summer. “I should check on our dinner.”
He caressed her arm before letting her go. “You should, it might be ready or burnt by now.” As she turned to the bank he added, “I’ll be along in a while.”
Beth went to the campfire, now glowing embers. The consistency seemed fine to her as she stirred the beans and rice. The mush most likely needed salt. She looked for the spice in a saddlebag. Finding it, the two plates, and forks, Beth set them aside. She heard a rustle behind her and looked to see Nicholas approach. As he neared the firelight, Beth noticed he’d shaved his face after all. He went and put up his razor and soap before joining her. “You’re just in time, dinner is ready.”
“It smells good.”
She took a bite and added a sprinkle of salt. Swallowing, Beth said, “This makes me miss home and my garden.”
“I’d have you tell me all about the vegetables you grew.”
“And my fruit trees.”
“Those, too. I’m missing everything that isn’t beans, bacon, and biscuits.” He shook his head. “The variety on this trip is far less than any other. So many have passed through here, taking everything and leaving nothing.”
“It isn’t all bad.” She gave him an ornery grin. “They’ve left us furniture and bacon.”
Undeniable Page 28