Sighing in frustration and shaking with remembered fear, I release my shirt and apply a little of the makeup, just enough to cover the dark circles and make my pale lashes darker. While my face looks fresher now, nothing will change the fact that from the waist down, I’m a freak. I square my shoulders, retake my crutches, and leave the bathroom. I’m a freak with a purpose, I remind myself. Time to get to work.
Gilly is waiting when I emerge from my room with renewed determination. She motions for me to take a seat on the rolling chair that puts my wheelchair to shame. It has an impressive up and down lever, and it adjusts easily, allowing me to see beyond the counter but also sit comfortably at the desk.
For the next several hours, the female goblin goes over the areas of the library and explains all the office workings. By the time she allows me a break, my brain feels full to bursting. I don’t think there’s any chance I’ll be able to remember any of it, but there seems to be a special place in my head where all the information sinks into, settling in a place I can access it. Maybe I am made for this job.
I’m prepared for the second round of information when Gilly suddenly straightens and looks toward the front foyer. “The first of your guardians is here,” she declares in an ominous tone at the same time as a shiver courses down my spine. It isn’t a good or bad tremor necessarily, more like the first warning tingle of someone taking an interest in me. I wonder if I’ll feel something similar every time someone enters the library. That could get overwhelming.
A hesitant knock on the door that separates the foyer from the rest of the library echoes through the ground floor, and I look at Gilly. She shrugs, staring expectantly at me, so I shrug back and call out for whoever it is to enter. The door opens to admit a fabulously tall, lean man who immediately makes my heart thump. I can’t tell if it’s attraction or fear.
He strolls toward the desk, and I wonder if Gilly was just pulling my leg when she said he would be one of my guards. He’s carrying a package and doesn’t look as if he wants a job. When he’s ten paces from the desk, I realize that the strange silver blankness in his eyes means he’s blind. My heart skips another beat. He can’t see me or my brokenness.
He doesn’t use a cane, and I wonder if his magic allows him the ability to see in some fashion because he stops about a foot from the counter and looks directly at me. Those silver eyes are ethereal and set in a distinguished, artistic face of almost delicate angles and a long, thin nose. Combined with the waist-length white hair that’s plaited in a rope over his shoulder, I’d say he’s beautiful. When he smiles and reveals sharp canines, I amend my assessment. Dangerous and beautiful.
He sketches an elegant bow that makes me realize he’d be more suited for the seventeenth century, especially with the tailored suit that displays his lean form perfectly. I’m glad he’s blind because I might be drooling a little.
“Librarian,” he greets simply. The label doesn’t feel wrong, but it really should. I’ve never been addressed by any sort of title before - nothing respectable anyway. “I’ve been instructed to deliver this package.” There’s an undertone in his voice, one I recognize immediately. He doesn’t like admitting that he’s been told to do something. Has he been relegated to the same status as Kodi because of his supposed impairment? What kind of academy is this?
“What is it?” I ask, not realizing how rude I sound until the words come out of my mouth. “Sorry, that didn’t come out right. Hi, thank you for delivering whatever that is…” I falter and realize that Gilly moved farther away at some point. She acts like she isn’t paying any attention, but her pointed ears twitch and her wings flutter.
The beautiful man grins again, flashing his sharp canines. I know in a moment of insight what he is even though I’ve never seen one before. A vampire…walking during the day. My brows draw together. Maybe not a vampire? I’m ridiculously unprepared for this new world.
“Maybe we can start over. My name is Avery duClair. I’m here to deliver this package on behalf of my boss, Master Dighit.”
I wince. The idea of this proud, beautiful man at the whim of that insufferable ass rankles. Gilly said he was to be my guardian… I’m silent as I consider how to broach the subject. What if he doesn’t want to? What if he can’t? I don’t know whether slavery is a real thing in this world, but it sure seems like it. I do have the might of the library behind me. Ansel made it sound like that meant something.
“Miss?” he asks uncertainly. He can’t see the flickering indecision on my face and has no idea what’s happening.
“Sorry, I was just thinking. I met Dighit this morning, actually. Quite a…character.” My words trail off, and Avery’s mouth twitches. My eyes catch on those full lips. They look pink next to paler skin a shade darker than his white hair.
“Master Dighit is a perfectionist, so when he meets someone who is not as perfect as he’d like, he isn’t as amenable.” His words are both a statement and a question. I realize he knows, in that second, that I’m not perfect or I would have received the friendly version of his boss.
I squint as my fingers tap on the desk. Taking a deep breath, I blurt out the first words that come to mind. “Can you see me? I’m sorry. I know how rude that sounds, but the question has a purpose, I promise.” I groan and hang my head. “Actually, that makes it sound worse. I know I hate it when people ask about my…” I trail off, my face coloring. Fuck. I just had to go and point it out.
Avery has more manners than I do. “It’s quite alright, Librarian. I can see you in a fashion. You’re very bright. Your aura is beautiful if you don’t mind me saying.” He pauses, and his sightless eyes flicker toward where my legs are hidden under the desk. He’s too much of a gentleman to say anything, but I instinctively know my aura tells him something is wrong with that part of my body. So I look different to a blind man too; so much for impressions based solely on my sparkling personality.
“Please, call me Zo.”
His eyebrows lift. “I can’t possibly do that. My master would be very upset with me if I were to be so bold.”
My mouth tightens into a firm line, and my words escape without censor, as per usual. “Well, your master is an ass. No man, or woman for that matter, should be forced to utter the words ‘my master.’ Tell me, Avery, how would you like to be one of the library’s new guardians?”
A moment of tense silence pours between us while I chew on my lip and Gilly titters behind me. His eyes are wide and his expression surprised. “What?” he asks slowly. I get the impression he’s not usually at a loss for words.
“I need guardians now that I’ve taken over my new position here, and the library has tasked me with finding some.”
Avery hangs his head just slightly. “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I’d make a poor guardian.”
The self-recrimination and doubt in his voice reminds me so much of me that my chest clenches. He hides it better than I do, but it’s still at the core of his being. “Nonsense. You can sense lifeforms, right? You can see their auras? Can any hide from you?”
Avery shakes his head. “No one has ever hidden from my strange sight. There is one behind you who is blurry. I imagine it to be some kind of magical creature, perhaps protected by the library, but I hear heartbeats even when I can’t see auras.”
“And am I correct in assuming you can walk during the day?”
“Yes. My unfortunate position as a born vampire allows me certain…oddities.”
I barely restrain my shocked gasp. I don’t know much about the magical world, but I know this. Born vampires are extremely rare, created by unions between male vamps and female humans or supernaturals. They’re different than created vampires - lesser - if every created vamp was to offer their opinion, but they’re also gifted with certain immunities, such as day-walking.
“I believe those oddities, as you call them, are perfect advantages in this position. Shall I send word to Dighit? Do you accept?” I’m being pushy, but it’s suddenly imperative to me that he be mine, well, my g
uardian, I mean. When my eyes travel down his lean form again, I remind myself that this is a working relationship. He’s not mine in any other sense, but I know he’ll make a fantastic guardian.
Avery smiles, stealing the breath from my lungs. He’s beautiful without smiling, but with it? My heart just leaped from my chest. I’m selfish for wanting him around just so I can look at him.
“Yes. I would love to accept. I don’t know if Dighit will agree, but I would be extremely honored to accept a position as one of your guardians.”
My cheeks color again. “Well, the library’s guardians,” I mutter, but he doesn’t respond.
“Excellent. Gilly, how do I go about doing this?” I ask the little goblin behind me as Avery waits patiently. “By the way, Gilly, this is Avery. Avery, Gilly is one of the library goblins tasked with protecting and honoring the library’s wishes.”
The vampire bows again. “Pleased to meet you, Mistress Gilly.”
“Just Gilly to you or my husbands might get jealous, young man. You’ve chosen well for your first,” the goblin tells me, and I bite my lip again. The way she says it makes it sound like she means something else, and I’m glad Avery can’t see my facial expressions. I’m not usually a shy blusher, but he makes me feel like some kind of nodding flower. The vampire smirks like he knows exactly what I’m thinking, and I shift on my chair as the heat spreads from my face down to my core. Damn. Maybe it’s not such a good idea to have him as a guardian, but I can’t imagine changing my mind. He belongs here as much as I do. I can feel it.
Gilly gives me instructions for how to use the interacademy mail system, some magical device that sends messages to the recipient in seconds. While we wait for a reply, I take the package from Avery. His fingers brush against mine and the tingles refresh. His skin is pleasantly warm, unlike the stories I’ve heard of turned vampires. The package is nothing more than one overdue book cleverly disguising a list of the books Dighit would like…immediately. I roll my eyes and set it to the side. He can wait until we reopen like everyone else.
Duggar appears out of nowhere and offers to show Avery where he’ll reside before we get an answer back from Dighit. The goblins’ certainty that he’s become one of my guardians without an answer makes me feel more vindicated in selecting him. I would have hated to get his hopes up if he weren’t actually able to leave the douche’s service.
As the male goblin leads Avery out into the foyer, I glance at Gilly. “I have questions. First, I thought the library was closed? How did he get in? Second, there’s only one room in the guardhouse. How many guardians am I to have?”
“The door will only open for your guards or Ansel until we reopen officially.” Ah, so that’s how she knew he was to be enlisted. “And four,” she responds as if the number isn’t negotiable. “You saw the doors in the foyer when you entered, correct?” I nod, remembering the plain doors I’d seen on each end of the rectangular foyer. “Each door leads to two apartments similar to yours where your guardians can reside when they’re not on duty. One may choose to stay outside if they prefer. I doubt they will. The gargoyles do a sufficient job of defending the exterior of the library.”
Surprise flickers across my face. I’d thought the gargoyles were alive but had attributed the suspicion to my overactive imagination. “It seems as if the library is actually pretty good at protecting itself,” I start slowly. “I mean, it was just fine while there was no librarian.”
Gilly pauses what she’s doing and looks at me, her strange eyes serious. “You choose to believe that the guards are for the library. They’re actually for you. The library is weaker without you, so the most efficient way of attacking the library is to attack you. Whoever imprisoned you as a child knew that.”
Ansel had hinted at something similar, but hearing it from the goblin makes it seem more real. “Everything that happened to me as a child? It’s because I had the potential to become the librarian?”
She nods. “That’s the most reasonable explanation. They wanted to control the library through you. That person won’t be the last to try. Your guardians will provide you with protection.”
I consider her words as more snippets of memory attempt to push into my conscious mind. No. I’m not ready yet. I mercilessly push them back into the fog. I’m not safe. I don’t know if I’ve ever been safe, but as the librarian, I’ve become a target. My eyes rise toward the stacks and stacks of books and the glowing dome at the center of the roof.
So be it. I will die protecting this place. At least then I can say my life was worth it; my pain was worth it.
Chapter Eight
Zosia
I’m still waiting for Dighit’s response across the magical device when Avery returns. He has a small smile on his face, and he walks as if he’s aware of everything that isn’t animate as well. He can see more than auras; if I were a gambling woman, I’d bet money on it. How anyone has ever considered his impairment a handicap, I’m uncertain. Duggar returns with Avery to the front desk just as I’m standing for a stretch. My crooked right femur makes it challenging to sit for long periods which is why I’m not in the chair all the time. It’s certainly easier than the crutches.
“The primary purpose of your position is guarding the librarian,” Duggar says in a grave tone, and I fidget with the pens on the desk. I still feel as if I’ve overstepped myself and really hope that I don’t have to go back on my word. Avery’s eyes flick toward me, their silver brightness far more aware than sightless eyes are.
“I should probably know more about Mistress Zo so I can be prepared.” The statement makes sense, but it also sounds like a veiled attempt to learn everything about me. That’s not something I’m comfortable with yet.
“Just Zo, please, or Zosia, if you can pronounce it correctly.” His attractiveness hasn’t made me tongue-tied, which is actually a shame. Sometimes I hate what comes out of my mouth.
“Zosia,” he says softly, and I shiver as tingles spread down my spine. Everyone calls me Zo, mostly because no one can say my full name properly and I tire of correcting people. Even still, most people call me Zoee, which I hate almost as much as Sasha. He says my name perfectly, though, practically flawlessly. The Zo is a long, drawn-out ‘o’ and the ‘sha’ is perfectly crisp. “It means wisdom in Hebrew, does it not?”
My eyebrows rise. “Actually, yes. My name givers could either see into the future, or they were hopeful. My entire name means the guardian of wisdom.”
“So, you are an Abram?” His voice is almost awed. I discreetly stretch my legs as I answer, glad he can’t see the details.
“I am, although I admit I don’t know what that means. I can’t remember my birth parents, and I wasn’t raised in the magical world.” That’s half-lie, but what I can remember was not in the magical world. Being magically tortured doesn’t count because I wasn’t receiving lessons on the critical points of the supernatural world.
Avery’s brows rise, but he doesn’t ask the probing questions the information usually provokes. “The Abrams family is a legend. They guarded the library of Alexandria before it burned down. Then, when the only remainders were brought into this library, they took over the protection of this one.”
More shivers ripple down my spine, and I make plans to research the origins of the library the first chance I get. I need to know more about my history and the legacy I’m protecting. I’m saved from an answer by the crash of the front door. It makes me jump and stumble backward. Thankfully, the chair is there. I collapse into it. Magic must keep it still so that it doesn’t fly away from the desk with the addition of my weight.
Avery and Duggar turn as one, although the goblin disappears in the next blink. Avery appears as if he’s ready to battle on my behalf. His eyes flash red and his hands clench into fists. He moves so that he’s between me and the door, although the massive wooden desk might be more efficient. Then again, maybe not. In the tense lines of Avery’s shoulders and lean back, I glimpse a hunter and a fighter. He might be a born vampir
e, but every vampire needs to be a fierce predator to survive.
Ansel’s voice drifts through the foyer doors. “I have my own duties to attend, Dighit. I can’t be roused from them the moment you have an issue with our new librarian.”
I sigh and prepare to do battle. Of course, Dighit couldn’t have contented himself by replying with a magic telegram. I stand again, grabbing my crutches to support my aching legs. I won’t be able to do much more today, and I hope Gilly will forgive my weakness. A glance upward reveals that it’s grown into late afternoon. I barely remember the food that appeared halfway through my lesson of the library’s blueprint.
Dighit doesn’t answer Ansel as he bursts into the library with the other man hot on his heels. “What is this nonsense I hear? Avery, why haven’t you returned?”
I consider meeting Dighit, but I feel much stronger behind the desk. “I believe I sent you the reason for that,” I tell the pompous ass. The library has bestowed me with the conviction to back myself up, even if it hasn’t given me the physical strength. I needn’t have worried, though. Avery remains between his master and me. And although Dighit also presents an imposing figure, Avery is taller. I’m not surprised to see a flash of fear in the douche’s eyes as he stares at the born vampire. Of course a man like him would subjugate someone he feared.
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