I’m fully aware that everyone is hanging on my words. Rett hates how I’m spilling our family secrets in front of men he considers strangers, but it doesn’t matter. They’ll soon be closer than family.
Garrett studies me in his typical fashion. He’s always accepted me exactly as I am, never expecting anything I can’t give. But it still bothers him that I’m so unpredictable, no matter how much he tries to hide it. I can’t help it. Some things I can’t reveal and some things I don’t want to. Besides, there’s far too much to attract my attention. Right now, I’m having a hard time not watching Zosia as she tries to eat noiselessly, as if I could ever forget she’s right beside me.
“Is this the only way?” Garrett finally asks.
“It is for me,” I answer resolutely. I focus all my attention on him, letting the gravity of my words penetrate his thick skull. “You still have a choice.” I barely manage to keep the sadness from my voice before it spills over. He can choose to leave, but it won’t end well. And I love my brother. I want him here with me where he belongs. The library has already accepted him; she did so the moment he helped guard her librarian against an unknown threat. But if he chooses us, his plans will be different than he envisioned. He’ll have to watch from the sidelines as our father topples from his throne. We’ll be working behind the scenes, but he won’t get the joy of direct revenge.
“But I don’t,” Garrett replies with the calm intelligence Father doesn’t have. “I made my decision when I stood with this woman against the liaison.” His eyes cut to Zosia. He isn’t sold on her yet, but she’ll grow on him. She’s more authentic than every woman Father has paraded before him put together. She shrinks under the directness of his gaze, but not out of fear. She still doubts her worth and doesn’t believe she’s a suitable alternative to his solid plans.
Before she can object, I place my hand over hers. My simple touch quiets her. Avery can see that I’m touching her. Our auras must meld together. He’s no longer jealous, though. Of course, he can’t see how handsome I am. It doesn’t matter. Zosia has room for all of us, even her irritable ghost. Jealousy and frustration practically emanate from the spirit in waves. We’ll need to act fast to keep him from leaving. He doesn’t even know he can, but it would be the worst possible scenario.
“But I need to know what I’m getting into. This is one of the two great libraries, isn’t it?” Garrett asks Ansel, and the man nods.
“Yes. It’s the Western equivalent to the one that currently resides in rural China. There’s more power on the first floor than your father could ever hope to have.” Ansel puffs his chest out. The library has already grown on him, and it will be difficult when he’s severed. Pity fills me. It will be like losing a lover. “Zosia will have a seat on the delegation equivalent to the alpha’s position, but she can choose to send a representative in her place.”
Garrett examines Zosia with renewed interest, and she heats under his perusal. She’s attracted to all of us, even her ghost, despite his lack of solidity. A hard body has its advantages. I don’t begrudge the cantankerous specter his frustration. Her skin is warm under mine and she hasn’t moved her hand yet. I’ll win her over, hopefully soon. I’ve been waiting a long time for her.
“Thank the universe for that,” Zosia breathes. “I need information on the political beat of the world and this academy. I feel so lost. I ignored it while I was at the orphanage, thinking I’d never have a place in this world. I’ll need someone more skilled in diplomacy and delegation, someone that people won’t dismiss, unfortunately.” Her eyes flicker to me, Avery, and finally Kodi. There’s a touch of sadness in her gaze as she looks at the ghost, and I wonder if he’s already experienced a flicker of life. If he has, it’s the reason why he’s so wound up. They’ll find the key soon, the way to make it real, if he stays.
I don’t blame her for stating the truth, and Avery doesn’t either. We’ve both been judged our entire lives. He faces discrimination for his lack of sight, his ability to walk during the day, and the blood running through his veins. I’m disregarded the moment I open my mouth. Sometimes, I make it worse on purpose. People are so fun to fuck with. Sometimes, I don’t even realize what I’m doing wrong. There are so many rules, and I’ve much better things to think about.
Garrett continues to stare at Zosia, and she squirms under his scrutiny. “Aren’t all true librarians sphinxes?”
Zosia looks down at her lap, and I wish I were close enough to smack him upside the head. She already has confidence issues without rubbing it in, but she surprises even me when she meets his gaze again. The gold flecks in her eyes blaze with fire, and my dick twitches in response. My woman is amazing. “That’s true. I will shift.” She’s required to shift to retain her position, but she doesn’t tell my brother that.
“And being a guardian of this library?”
“You will guard Zosia, be her representative if she so chooses, and assist her in her day-to-day duties.” Finally, the blasted goblin shows up. Took him long enough.
“There you are!” I point at the little man with the book. “I’ve been waiting. What took so long?”
“Master Bren.” The little creature nods to me. His wings twitch as if we’ve been friends forever. Or maybe I irritate him. I can’t tell. Garrett stares at the library goblin, his mouth slightly open. They’re only in the libraries - created for the sole purpose of protection and assistance to the librarians. They also ward off the book eaters, but not many people know that. “I wanted to be certain your brother made his decision before I came,” the goblin continues. He bows. “I am Duggar, keeper of the contracts.” He glances at Zosia. “As for the information you requested…”
Another goblin zips in, fast on her little wings. She carries four books as if they weigh nothing more than a feather even though they’re bigger than her. She releases them when she’s hovering several feet above the table, but they land as softly as if she’d gently set each one down. Zosia’s eyes widen as the little creature flits away.
“What?’ she asks in surprise.
“This is a library. All the information you need? All the knowledge you want? It’s here. You just need to ask for it.”
Zosia’s face reddens again as the male goblin reprimands her. It’s so cute, especially with her golden coloring. She’s beautiful.
“And was that one of your children?” she asks curiously. The little one is no longer visible.
Duggar nods with a shrug. “She’s shy.” He gives Ansel a meaningful look, and the man shuffles his feet and excuses himself quietly. Zosia starts to object like she has something to say to him, but he tells her he’ll be back when the library opens again. I don’t think she realizes what completing her guard circle will do to him, but he knows. He would have known the terms when he accepted the position.
Once Ansel is gone, Duggar slips past Garrett. A slight flutter of his wings brings him to table level, and he places the contract book on the table between my brother and me. Then, he waits. “If you’re ready,” he begins, but I stop him by grabbing for the book. It opens to the page it’s meant to - the one waiting for my signature. My eyes zip over the words. I know them. Even if I didn’t, it doesn’t matter. This is my destiny.
I hold my hand out. “Pen, please.”
Garrett grabs my outstretched hand, forcing me to meet his eyes again. “Are you sure, Bren?”
I meet his gaze and nod. “It’s the only way.”
It’s the only way for us. It’s the only way to save our society. It’s the only way to prevent a small group of supernaturals from taking control with their mostly human army. There’s no other way. I hope all that gets expressed. Some of it must, because he nods and releases my hand. I take the pen and poke my finger without hesitation. This library is my home, and this woman is mine. I’ve waited my entire life for this moment.
Chapter Fifteen
Zosia
I’m so focused on the beautiful man about to sign his life into my care that I barely notice A
very’s indrawn gasp. He steps away from me. I’m about to make sure he’s okay when Bren signs with a flourish, turns the page, and shoves the book across the table to his reluctant brother.
Bren’s breath tickles my ear when he whispers quietly. “Not yet.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about, distracted again by his lack of personal space and boundaries. He gets up from the table and walks over to his brother. “Do it quick, brother. Then it won’t hurt as much.” Bren goads the huge man as Avery takes another step away from the table. Bren knows how to play Garrett, though, something I’ve observed repeatedly since I met the siblings. The shifter scoffs, scans the page quickly, and signs his name. I would have thought a man like Garrett would want to spend hours poring over the text. It surprises me that he doesn’t.
As soon as the book is closed, it disappears into thin air. Bren stands up and rubs his hands together. “Now that’s done, we can deal with the hungry vampire.”
Surprise and embarrassment rush through me as I spin in the chair to look at Avery. His cheeks are paler than usual, and his breath pants from him. His eyes flash with crimson. He stares away from the table where two warm-blooded men just drew blood, his lean form vibrating with tension.
“Oh, I’m such an idiot,” I mutter under my breath. “Avery, why didn’t you say something?” I don’t mean to put the blame on him, but he’s a grown man in full control of his hunger, or so I thought. “Have you fed at all since you came here? How bad is it?”
“Do you want him to find someone else? A woman, perhaps?” Bren asks me. The possessive rage that burns through me and itches my spine surprises me so much that I’m glad I’m already sitting.
“What?” I sputter, rubbing at the pain tearing through the center of my chest. “How else is he supposed to feed?” I force the words through my clenched teeth. I don’t know how I’ll react if he steps outside the library at that moment.
Avery takes two deep breaths and lifts his head. His long-fingered hands are clenched into fists as he stares straight at me as if he’s gazing into my eyes. “I’m sorry, Zosia, but I’m to use you for all my needs unless I am expressly given permission from you. Blood is a need. I can’t feed on anyone else unless you give me leave.”
“What?” The word bursts from me and is echoed by Garrett, who frantically tries to find the book he just signed. The goblin watches the scene impassively as Kodi hovers uncertainly. “That wasn’t in my contract,” I sputter, but I don’t really know because I couldn’t read the damn thing. Understanding floods me. “All your needs? All of them?” The words squeak from me, my embarrassment evident. “Duggar.” I turn on the little creature; he doesn’t appear fazed at all.
“It’s better if the five of you keep yourselves here for any need that could induce intimacy. It’s safer that way and creates a closed loop of trust and understanding.”
“Where’s that book?” Garrett mutters, making my cheeks flame with heat. I don’t know what’s worse - learning the truth of our relationships or realizing that one of those men would rather die than be with me in any way.
“No take-backs!” Bren crows. “Besides, don’t you think she’s beautiful?” My cheeks flame hotter, but my traitorous gaze flickers toward Garrett anyway. I need to know, even if I can’t bear the answer.
The shifter opens his mouth, and I mentally steel myself against rejection. “I…” he frowns. His words escape like they’re being forced past a thick tongue, like that’s the only part of him that’s shifted. “Of course she’s beautiful, gorgeous actually in her authenticity.” Our eyes widen simultaneously. “I can’t lie?” he sputters.
“Truth is the best form of communication between those who protect each other’s lives,” Duggar recites mechanically. If the air weren’t so emotionally charged, a bomb could go off and none of us would notice. Kodi’s laughter rouses me from my shock.
“Oh, this is golden comedy,” he chortles, but the dark edge to his voice betrays his discomfort or irritation.
Bren stares at him thoughtfully. I think he’s going to address the ghost before he closes his mouth and speaks to me. “Hungry vampire.”
Fuck. Avery is starving, and I’m worried about whether the big one thinks I’m hot. I push away from the table and wheel toward Avery. He takes a step backward.
“You probably shouldn’t get any closer,” he warns me. When his lips open, I catch a glimpse of fang, and the sharpened teeth send a shiver of something through me. Lust? Anticipation? Fear? I’m not sure.
I stop several paces from him and focus only on his face. “Do you want to leave? To find food?” I force myself to ask.
Avery’s beautiful face twists as if he smells something sour. “Not really,” he replies after a moment, and I have to remind myself that he’s not just saying that to make me happy. If Duggar is right, he can’t lie about it.
“How do you? I mean…” I trail off. This is so far out of my realm of normality that I don’t know what to do.
“You’re not ready yet, obviously,” Bren says before stepping alongside me. His smile is bright as he bends over. His lips coast along my forehead, increasing the shiver of anticipation and lust. It’s not fear that accompanies the idea of Avery feeding from me, just unfamiliarity. “I’ll take care of it.”
Garrett’s low voice grumbles behind me. I expect him to step forward and stop his brother. Instead, he asks Duggar a question. The little goblin points and the shifter disappears into the foyer. I’m scared that he’s going to leave. Uncertainty seizes my chest, but he just escapes to the area of the library that is reserved for our living quarters. I don’t blame him. Escape would be easier, but I have a duty to Avery. Even if I’m not ready to give him what he needs, I need to be here. I feel that much.
Bren steps up to Avery and holds his wrist in front of the vampire’s mouth. Avery’s gaze doesn’t leave me, and his body vibrates with tension. “Are you sure?” the vampire asks, his words heavily weighted with a fanged lisp.
“Do it,” Bren orders. The shiver of command in his voice surprises me. “I’m certain our lovely librarian will take over at some point, but better not to push her right now.”
Bren is a force of nature, and he doesn’t stop surprising me. Maybe I should be irritated that he presumes to know so much, but everything he knows is correct, so I can’t fault him for using that knowledge. I’d do the same.
Avery slowly lowers his head, his white hair sliding across Bren’s tanned skin. His eyes, bright silver, never leave mine as he bites almost delicately into the other man’s flesh. His throat moves as he drinks and his eyes flash red. What only takes seconds seems to last hours. The whole time he feeds, his sightless eyes peer into my soul. Finally, he pulls his mouth away and his pink tongue lashes against Bren’s wrist.
I lick my lips when lust roars through me, causing me to shift in discomfort as I ache with unexpected need. The sensation only worsens when I finally turn my gaze to the right. Bren is staring at me and not Avery, his pale eyes darkened to bright jade. Some instinctive curiosity or hunger I can’t control makes my eyes flicker downward to find both of them straining against their jeans.
Bren offers me a cocky grin when my eyes fly back up. Avery has the wherewithal to look slightly embarrassed as he half-turns away from me. I clear my throat and put my hands on my wheels to turn away.
“I have to…” The three words are all I can manage before I turn my chair entirely and flee to my room. Poor Gilly. I don’t think I’m capable of working much today.
My thoughts churn as I finally enter my apartment, my breath coming short. I want to lie down in my huge bed and take care of the need pulsing between my thighs, but I’m worried about Kodi popping in. He always knew when to stay away at the orphanage. If I were anxious about his interruptions, I’d give myself an orgasm while taking a shower because he never invaded the bathroom. But things have changed between us, and I’m no longer sure of anything.
I sit there, staring at nothing as scenarios
parade through my mind. I don’t have much experience to feed my imagination except the countless scenes in the romance novels I moaned over as a lustful teenager. No immature boy wants a cripple for his first and I was around a lot of boys. Kodi kept them from taking me by force, as if that would make them feel better about sleeping with me. A couple suggested to my face that they didn’t know if I worked “down there” as if my crooked legs were a spinal injury that had stolen any sensation below my waist. I’d told them, quite clearly, that I could still knee them in the balls if they came close enough to find out.
My gaze shifts to the enormous bed. I’d managed to find a couple of ménage books buried in the straighter-laced historical romances in the giveaway bin at the library. Those had been hot, so much better than the duke seducing the lady who was too advanced for her own time but still an innocent virgin. Avery and Bren don’t seem to mind being close to each other. Feeling their hands on me? At the same time? I groan loudly and hang my head, my hair falling over my face.
“Thinking impure thoughts?”
I jump as one of the figures in my imagination speaks. The ghost sits on the bed and stares at me, a smug smile on his lips. There’s more to his words than the motivation to tease, but his deeper emotions are hidden.
I ignore his question. “What did your contract say, Kodi?” I ask slowly. “You can’t lie to me.”
“Oh, I could,” the ghost argues with a broader smirk. “Duggar said truth was better, not that it was impossible to lie.”
“But…” My face falls. What if Garrett was lying? What about Avery? Did he want to leave to find food elsewhere?
“Oh, stop your second-guessing. You’ll know when I lie. It’s actually hard to do so, just not impossible. It will turn all five of us into the worst liars in history. Any idiot would be able to tell we’re lying.” He laughs loudly at the look on my face. “Did you think it wouldn’t apply to you? Sorry, Princess, but the rules apply to you too.”
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