by Jack Kerouac
CODY. This isn’t blue eyes
JACK. Dem dere eyes (swiftly)
(MUSIC STARTS)
CODY. Hee hee hee. And the needle. This is the way it was in Texas, the needle’s ruined, see, and this kinda music, and of course Bull would say “Play some Viennese waltzes” and Huck’d have to play ’em, Bull was deadly serious man…
JACK. About the Viennese waltzes?
CODY. Yes! ’cause Huck’d say “Aw man, you don’t wanta hear Viennese waltzes,” and he’d say, “Oh, I really do”—and he wasn’t just making an issue one afternoon…. But Huck told me a long time before that had begun, and Huck said “Naturally I thought the guy was just kiddin,” but he really meant it, and he asked it, so every afternoon he’d play Viennese waltzes for Bull, see
JACK. Of course Bull insisted
CODY. And here—I don’t know—and here, with an awful needle like this and a poor machine but very loud, the music was coming out b-r-r-r, scratchy, and it was Viennese waltzes comin out real awful, you know like a tinny phonograph, and here in this—and it was sunlight, and hot man, out in the—this outdoors, just like we was saying man, it was—you understand, that music was comin out there, like I’d go outside and take a piss or something and I could just hear a little bit of this noise you know, comin off this porch, see, way down in this Texas place (all laughing), real crazy…’Cause it was so hot all the time, it really wasn’t…outdoors or anything—but what I’m tryin to say is that Irwin got…after—now the understanding that Irwin and I had was not any—coming back to understanding about anything, but we were just—we’d been high together all of three days, see we’d been together and we both were still young enough that we would talk and talk and talk every minute see and naturally it builds up a big lot of structure that’s private that you build on the way down, and is just an interchange of different ideas that you have and different feelings but not about concretely or anything, but just, you understand what the person means ’cause he said that before or somethin—something like he’ll say “Like what I’m sayin so and so what I really mean is this” and so the guy’ll understand either because you tell him or either because he picks up on the way that what you meant about—something when you tell it before like that something-or-other, why, he’ll keep building up so then (laughing) around a pyramid. And so we was real high just before we got there ’cause we made a long twelve-hundred, thirteen-hundred-mile trip pretty successfully see, we could have been hungup, we were hungup one more day just going nowhere, but at any rate now I’m sayin—so we’re gonna have this great big bed, see? that we were going to—but it was gone, I haven’t even told you about it—
JACK. Yes, with cots or somethin
CODY. Listen to this, I’d never seen Bull or nothing, see, I never had met any of these people, see, so Bull’s puttin on a big show, you know, gettin his kicks you know, and Huck is saying “Glad to meet you and everything man,” you understand, think of that now, see. And so…so we’re out on porch the first day and Irwin his only concern was building this bed for where we was gonna sleep that night…and there was two cots, see, and that was what we were going to sleep on, but Huck and Irwin had the big idea to join the two cots, and that entitled a great deal of work, you see they were Army cots securely stapled together, and had to break all that, and pull all the front whole side of both of the cots, and then put them together…by—terrible, hard, see…. Well for three days he and Huck worked on that…in the front yard, you understand see? And…Huck was very queer about the whole thing, see, he was happy and queer…you know what I’m sayin, he was eggin Irwin on, and Irwin asked me seriously, and I said “I don’t care, brrp, brrp” you know (laughing), when—and that was the reason that he went to Dakar, see, because the bed was not a success (laughter). Yes. Soon as we got in bed together—Oh it never did get built and so finally we had to just what we did, ’cause we couldn’t get it together, we collapsed the other end of both of the cots and just slept on the floor (laughing), two cots on the floor, with scorpions, man, so it scared the hell out of you, see, you’re only that far off the floor, and, ah, man, that was kinda of a drag, so, what I’m saying—but no kidding Jack, now this is of course, now you know I’m no—I’m usually not talking about—you understand that I’m not—I’m not even lookin, at what it was…
JACK. Oh yeah yeah
CODY. See? I started to look but I didn’t, in the same sense of kicks, see, I don’t know what it is, see, so, here we go (Jack laughs)
(MUSIC STARTS)
JACK. Viennese waltzes!
CODY. (laughs) Yeah
JACK. That’s what Bull insisted on, huh?
CODY. Yes
(MUSIC: “Stay With the Happy People”)
CODY. That’s right! (like Frank Morgan, enthusiasm) (laughing) Now what I’m saying is (laughing)…The bed didn’t work, but what I’m saying, is just a—continue the continuity, I got so I couldn’t stand Irwin to even touch me, you know, see, only touch me, it was terrible. And man, I’d never been that way, you know, but, man he was all opening up and I was all—but what I’m sayin is that, ah—so he was going to take a ship, in Houston, and I got high on Nembutals, so I go out, I pick up a girl, in the jeep, while Huck’s down digging the cats in the corner saloon with his stuff, see, and Irwin’s waiting up in the room, so I come back with the girl…and a quarter-of-a-block, no a half-a-block but quarter-block away I was perfectly in…capacity of my senses driving along and…within a quarter-block, and I was just approaching the hotel, and the Nembutals hit me! Bam! Man they hit me just like that, and I couldn’t quite reach the curb, I was completely (laughing) in norm—control, but right in front of the hotel see, and I’ve just swung a right-hand turn around the corner—and it hit me man…and it was all I could do to hit the curb, and I looked at the curb, and I banged into it, really, I parked too close is what I did, scraped—but I managed to—but I was in a no-parking zone right in front of the hotel see ’cause ordinarily I wouldn’t do that you know, I would have parked it someplace else, but, and I conked out like that, see, but I was still kinda, little bit, ’cause I—so I, seems to me that we sat there…the girl was an idiot…
JACK. Yeah
CODY. She was, she…told me that she was an idiot, and since she had been—they picked her up the next morning—Yeah, she’d be in an institution, and, ah, they picked her up periodically every three or four months, and put her away, she’d get out after awhile, because she was harmless. But what I’m saying is that, she drug me up the stairs, to Irwin’s room, and we got—and she went in bed with me and I tried to screw her and everything and I managed to finally even though I was so high…man and everything…but nothing else happened ’cause Irwin kicked her out, see, and, so then I—(laughing)…owf
JACK. You wrote…me about this or somebody did
CODY. No kidding (stops music at phonograph). Now. Pardon me son, I don’t want to—you see I’ve different things that I’ve got on MY mind you know what I’m trying to say to you is, I’m gonna tell you somethin, although there might be other things that I’m hungup on, ah—the only reason that I’m playing this record is ’cause now you’re high and you’re gonna hear see…so now I’m gonna relax it and listen to it, you’re gonna hear the different things they play. (MUSIC: Coleman Hawkins’ “Crazy Rhythm”) (and demonstrates ideas with hands) I don’t choose this record for any reason except that we played it three or four times see, so, that’s why you know—even though it’s not really—but listen to the man play the horn, that’s all (they listen to ensemble beginning work). Ah man I’m gonna try to change that needle (after stopping music, and Jack riffs on). Did you hear that riff? (puts music back, on alto solo) when they begin—listen to here (off, on again)
JACK. That’s the old style…Chu Berry used to blow like that
CODY. Who?
JACK. Chu Berry
CODY. Yeah Chu Berry
JACK. Man, he used to blow like that all the time. That’s where Hawk learned…they
all learned from Chu those old swing men
CODY. Yeah
JACK. Lionel was very close to Chu
CODY. That’s what he said, before he died he played a couple of his records that knocked me out. You remember that
JACK. Yeah that’s right
CODY. Shit…yeah (laughs)
JACK. Who’s playing now, is it the Hawk on tenor?
CODY. No, that’s the guy who blows so sweet I told you
JACK. That Benny-what’s-his-name
CODY. Yeah
JACK. That’s Benny Carter!
CODY. Let’s see in a minute
JACK. Playing alto!
CODY. Yeah
JACK. Benny Carter
CODY. Now Coleman comes in…listen to Coleman. (Coleman comes in low toned, fast) Hee hee hee way down there (gesturing low at waist)
JACK. Yeah
CODY. Hear it? (they laugh and gloat) See? he keeps blowin. Now here comes Benny, Benny plays like he did first only he backs off more, listen…hear it? Hear? He’s going up, and—he’s not rockin, listen. (they listen) Hear him come down on a riff?
JACK. Yap
CODY. He really got that riff didn’t he? (laughing hungrily) Stayin up there, see, and here comes Coleman (low again)
JACK. Ooo-hoo! Hey, yes
CODY. He keeps drivin see?
JACK. Yeah, drivin
CODY. (laughing ecstatically) Blows that sonumbitch does. Of course (changing his tone) near the ending he falls apart here. Poor man. (Jack laughing) He doesn’t—it’s just, you know, record…the ending. (bass-player on record calls to Hawk: “Go on, go on.”) (Hawk blows aside complex what’s this? riff) What do you mean falling apart?
JACK. Yeah (laughing and riffing) Say you know what Danny Richman does?
CODY. What?
JACK. He plays me his Charlie Christian thing which lasts two hours? and he’ll go…(gesturing)…up to this you know…according to the guitar. He’ll do signs like that all night
CODY. That’s what he did to me the first night I walked in there
JACK. His whole idea is for you to go and watch him do that
CODY. Yeah, that’s right
JACK. Think how crazy he is…and you know what…then, when he sees that you’re digging him…digging Charlie Christian…with all these things…you begin laughin! then he turns on his serious music there, that Scho-enn-berg and everything, (CODY, yeah!) he starts makin—
(MUSIC STARTS: Perez Prado Mexican mambo)
…. he doesn’t like that shit
CODY. He doesn’t
JACK. He doesn’t listen to it
CODY. Yeah. Yeah.
JACK. Play it man play it! (drums) Oooh! Ha!
CODY. Here’s where we are
JACK. Mexico!
CODY. “Demurely downward,” see? I haven’t read past there, I been savin see waitin…for this big thing here
JACK. Wow
CODY. But I can’t remember what happened there man…except I, “Except that I remember certain things” (reading from manuscript) see, I do remember what that meant but I do, “Except that I do remember certain things”—which means only obviously, see ’cause after all, this is me talking
JACK. Yeah
CODY. So I’m gonna tell you (laughing both)…you understand, see, but you know it just meant…that I remember…you know I have ordinary little ideas, things I do remember, like, like that bed for example, you know, things that are—that’s what I meant…see?…and that’s the way it sounds (pointing to words on manuscript), and that’s exactly what it is, right? Huh? Like everyone out there of course I do remember certain things, you know, just as normal…see, but I’m saying, like “Huck me and Irwin going out in the middle of the Louisiana bayou on a particular New York kick,” you know how Huck and Irwin were…
JACK. New York kick…
CODY. Now this is one time, now, see at—exactly, all this I told you which was really nowhere or nothin, just like the bed, see, just the, the thing, that is just because I said these words “I remember certain things”…so I decided to tell you about one of ’em, and it just came into my mind, see…about this, see, awright? Awright? And now look, see, it’s never been, there’s no meaning here—now I mean it’s a, a—
JACK. You know what you’re doing there don’t you?
CODY. The continuity—Oh I know it’s—
JACK. Now, er really?
CODY. Ah hum, I know exactly what I’m doing man…I—it’s just like askin a man if he knows how to blow the horn see, you know, like if Slim was blowin somethin I recognize that Slim thinks that I was blowin man you know, and I always blow like that see…and everything…. Now when a man does somethin on a horn he wonders if someone else really hears him, like oft times I used to think about, “Did Jack hear that?” or ah, somethin about a particular record a long time ago or somethin like that see…. But what I’m sayin is that, I say, well of course he does man, he knows more about it than I do, he knows about that, you know, he knows about, you know, see, (laughing) and so that’s the same way that what I’m sayin, I know—but, so I have to tell him, I’m just sayin, those words, remember certain things led me to think of all this, here, which wasn’t anywhere, as I said, it’s just like even now, as I told in the story about the bed…I didn’t really feel it was anywhere but it wasn’t any-thing. In fact it was—what it actually was, was a recalling right now on my part, a recalling of me having either told about or thought about the bed concretely before, see, so therefore I, all I did now was re—go back to that memory and bring up a little rehash of, ah, pertinent things, as far as I can remember, in little structure line, a skeletonized thing of the—what I thought earlier, and that’s what one does you know, you know when you go back and remember about a thing that you clearly thought out and went around before, you know what I’m sayin, the second or third or fourth time you tell about it or say anything like that why it comes out different and it becomes more and more modified until it becomes any little thing that you say, see, like for example, I can remember walking home from school when I was seven years old, you understand, and I’d already had such a long sex life and it was so involved that all one semester, every day, me and this little Mexican kid didn’t talk about anything else and I simply told him all about what had happened to me since I was old enough to remember, see, and it took me all semester, and we walked a long way, man, from Larimer Street clear up…see. Terrible business. See now the only—see Jack I wouldn’t have said any of those things, I’d have continued reading, I wouldn’t have talked, except you looked at me to…so…I thought I’d better, so I wouldn’t get hungup like I used to on tea, see, get hungup and not remember what I was going to say next, or not even finish the sentence because the effort to go back and remember in detail all those things that I’ve thought about earlier, is such a task, and unworthy, and it wasn’t exhilaration, for the thing to do—it—like you go into something the first time you see after a certain period of time, roughly, about four, five years ago after I got hungup with Joanna, why, since then there’s no more spontaneous, there’s no more,…first happenings any more, you know what I’m sayin, which are things that are to be thought about, or things that are, you know, there’s no more opening (laughing)…. You understand anyway, yeah I mean you’re just, ah, going along, see, and so, it’s hardly worth it (laughs)
JACK. What’s worth it?
CODY. Used to not feel couple of years ago hardly worth it to complete the sentence and then it got so try as I might I couldn’t and it developed into something that way, see, so now in place of that I just complete the thought whatever I’ve learned, you know, like I see it complete whatever thought comes, see, instead of trying to make myself hurry back to where I should be here, and also…and only indications that lead me to go on this way like, you’re looking at me to say that, only you didn’t say anything, but you looked at me and so that I go on talking about these things, thinking about things, and memory, ’cause we’re both concern
ed about, ah, memory, and just relax like Proust and everything. So I talk on about that as the mind and remembers and thinks and that’s why it’s difficult for, to keep, ah, a balance, you know, that’s, but it’s not really a concern because you can get hungup if you don’t know when sharply to cut the knife, see, and switch back to something, you know, or something, because it becomes a hangup or just meaningless talk, you know what I’m sayin, see, so that that’s hard, you know, as I continue, see, because really I don’t like this! The same feeling, right here, see, as I remember telling that last night…I don’t like it, same feeling that I had with “It gets you down,” not that I had the feeling when I read it, but on the contrary that’s the words that produced it, you understand, like I went through earlier, on previous…. Same way here I keep having difficulty going back to this because I’m not…I don’t, you understand (laughs), feel it, proud of it, or anything, you understand, see, and so it’s hard, it’s hard to come back to this particular, see, so I’ve been postponing it really, see? (both laughing) Turrible thing. Now this one time, really, that’s what I mean here, see, same thing, “Huck, you remember how he is,” you see, “New York kick,” so, “Huck said ‘Come on man I want to show you something’ he”—and Irwin, “he and Irwin were that way a great deal, Irwin would say ‘You’ve got to see that piece of cloth,’ Huck was sayin”—(reading haltingly)…because see that’s what happened, see, and I’m describin now, see, now here I’m going through the process of telling you, and you’re the one who wrote it down, see, so I’m saying, you know, you know more about it than I do—
JACK. I didn’t punctuate it
CODY. No, you know more about it than I do…no—well, it was un-punctuated talk anyhow. What I’m sayin—you know what I’m sayin, so the reason I’m hangin up right now, talkin this way is just in the same sense that I want to tell you that rememberin certain things led into this see, and I’ve already said that, by telling you about this and saying I don’t want to go back to it because of that, so now I’m…I’m ah…going on with the reading and still using the same process, I’m saying…so that means that up here Jack. Well that’s not necessary now, we passed through that, because now we’re talking just about the very thing that I thought about which was as I said earlier a mo-difi-cation, a skeletonized form of one of the things I happened to remember down in Texas you know…. And so…yeah well pick out a new needle, man, something you might find that would be—now listen I want to tell YOU something! You know I looked at the clock when Jimmy Low called at nine o’clock…now it’s quarter to ten, he said within the hour, see, and also time and everything, and, we went through here for a minute, haven’t we—