by Frankie Love
And I want a connection with Ethan the same way I want to connect with each of these men.
“Hey,” Noah says. “Calm down, Ethan.”
“All I am trying to do is make sure Chloe is safe and taken care of.”
“We can take care of her,” Mason says. “She doesn’t need Jordan’s money.”
Ethan shakes his head like we’re idiots. “Eventually, Chloe is gonna want to go home, and she doesn’t have a house or a job. She’s going to need money to start her life.”
No one mentions the idea that this could last longer than a week. Of course they don’t. They are four handsome, single men, living the high life with their Black Bull sponsorship. They have the dream set-up right now and of course, I am nothing more than a week-long fling to them. That is what they are to me too.
Right?
“Let’s not look too far into the future,” Noah says. “Let’s just enjoy this time for what it is.”
“Of course, you’d say that, Noah. You never take anything seriously,” Ethan says. “Sorry for being the practical one. But someone has to be responsible around here.”
The guys are fuming now, everyone’s buttons are pushed and I hate to think I am the catalyst for pushing them over the edge.
But the truth is, I probably am.
Then Ethan pushes away from the table and goes back inside.
The rest of us are quiet, digesting Ethan’s abrupt departure.
I feel tears prick the corners of my eyes.
“Ethan has a hard time with injustice,” Mason says softly.
“Yeah?” I humph. “Well, I have a hard time with jerks. And right now, Ethan is being one.”
With that, I leave for bed myself, feeling confused, and feeling upset.
And mostly feeling alone. Again.
Chapter 13
I fucking hate the way Ethan ruined the mood last night. Fucking bullshit, the way he left like that, storming off and going to his bedroom. We aren’t a bunch of kids, we’re grown ass men. If you have a problem, sit down and talk it the fuck out.
We’re all the same age, all of us are twenty-five-year-old guys, and we’ve been best friends all our lives. That’s awesome but sometimes, it’s too close to home.
And I know, we all have different baggage. Shit that weighs us down. But it’s not fair for Ethan to put any of his past on Chloe. She doesn’t deserve that in the least.
Mason grew up with parents who always struggled to make ends meet. So now that he has lots of money, he always makes sure we have everything we need in terms of clean clothes and a stocked fridge, home-cooked meals. The stuff he never could count on as a kid. I appreciate it, and while no one is asking him to do those things, it’s cool of him to always have our backs like that.
And Enzo had a pretty charmed life, up until his mom died a few years back. Losing her was a blow to all of us. Hell, every day in grade school I’d go to his house for some of the cannoli his mom always had on the kitchen counter.
But Ethan’s life wasn’t like that at all. He was passed between his grandma and aunts and older sister and basically any family member who would take him in. Hell, he slept in my room for a solid year in high school, and Enzo’s for a year after that. He saw shit go down no kid should witness. Adults drinking and doing hard-core drugs. He saw his older brother OD when he was a kid. It’s dark shit, I know. And it didn’t fuck him up, but what it did do is make him hyper-vigilant. Hyper-aware. And his trigger is thinking anyone might not be taken care of in the same way he wasn’t.
So, I get it. I get him. I love the emo motherfucker, but still, it’s not cool to make Chloe cry. To ruin the night, and bring up that asshole Jordan just when our girl is starting to let down her guard.
But lucky for all of us, I am spending the day with her.
And that means I will make all those walls she’s trying to protect herself with crumble.
In fact, breaking the ice is my specialty.
She’s in the kitchen drinking a green smoothie when I walk in, a bag of gear slung over my shoulder.
“Hey gorgeous,” I say, leaning over and kissing her on the check.
She smiles at me, and then picking up her glass as she frowns. “Why do you guys drink this every day?” she asks. “It is a kale-broccoli disaster in here.”
I laugh, and Enzo and Mason, who are working on editing their videos from the last two days for our MeTube channel, give Chloe a hard time.
“Love, we’ve gotta keep in shape, so we don’t get dropped by our sponsors,” Enzo tells her. “And kale is the breakfast of champions.”
She jumps off her stool, offering him her drink. “In that case, enjoy. And I will find something carb-a-licious.”
“I know a bakery on the way out of town,” I tell her, smacking her ass. “Let’s get you something sweet on our way to the mountain.”
She beams. “Perfect. Also, I need a coffee.”
“We have coffee here,” Mason says, pointing to the coffee pot.
“Yeah, but you are apparently morally opposed to half-and-half and refined sugar. Both are non-negotiable when it comes to my morning beverage. And I’ve managed through two days on that stuff, but I can’t stomach a third.”
She gives the guys quick kisses goodbye, and then before we leave she mentions not having had a chance to tell Ethan good-bye.
“He is probably still in bed.”
“Well, I’ll just leave him a quick note,” she says. She grabs a notebook from Mason and writes him a note in her perfect cursive.
Dear Ethan,
Sorry I missed you this morning. I wanted to let you know I appreciate that you care so much about making sure I am taken care of. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. Please take any legal action you think is best. I trust you.
And I can’t wait to spend tomorrow by your side.
xoxo,
Chloe
She passes it around so we are all on the same page, then asks Mason to make sure Ethan gets it. I pull my arms around her, so fucking grateful she is able to take Ethan’s meltdown in stride.
Not too long after, Chloe and I are in the Jeep with buttery croissants and vanilla lattes in tow. She is smiling, her hair is blowing in the morning breeze and a pair of sunglasses she borrowed from the glove box on her face.
“Happy now?” I ask as she sips her coffee.
“So, happy.” She squeezes my hand, and I pull it to my lips, offering her knuckles a kiss.
“So... Wanna talk about Ethan?”
She sighs. “Honestly, not really. I mean, I get it. We all have our stuff and for whatever reason, the Jordan stuff is triggering him.”
“He has had a rough go of things,” I tell her. I’ve always felt protective of Ethan, and the fact that Chloe isn’t pulling away from him tells me a lot about her.
“Well, I can relate to that.”
I nod. “Yeah. Enzo told us about your childhood, your family. I’m so sorry Chloe.”
She reaches for her croissant and rips a piece off. “It just feels so good to be able to open up to you guys. I don’t know if you understand how special it is. I have never had men in my life I could really be vulnerable with. That’s probably why I’m a twenty-two-year-old virgin.”
“Hey,” I say, pulling the Jeep to a stop as we arrive at our destination. “Have I told you how much I love that fact that you are a virgin? That you’ve waited all this time for us? I can’t imagine a hotter situation.”
“Is that all this is to you? About hot sex?”
I swallow, wanting her to understand that is not it at all. “Chloe, I’ve always been the asshole in my life. The womanizing jokester. I want to believe I have what it takes to be the man a woman would need me to be…
“But the truth is, the idea of sharing you with the other guys makes me feel better. Takes the pressure off. Maybe that makes me sound like a fucking pussy. But I’ve known you for only a handful of days and am already terrified of fucking things up with you.”
She unbuckles her seatbelt an
d turns in her seat to face me. “Last night I thought you guys were saying this was only a week-long fling. Now it sounds like you think it might be more than that?”
I look unblinkingly into Chloe’s eyes. Fuck, this woman is changing me.
“I’ve never been like this before. So head over heels for a woman I hardly know. But everything I know about you tells me you’re the sort of woman that could handle me. A woman who wouldn’t put up with my bullshit, a woman who would challenge me to be a better man.”
Her eyes widen at my confession.
“Did I overshare?” I ask, leaning my forehead to hers.
“No,” she whispers. “I just wasn’t expecting this from you.”
“I bet you thought I’d be all laughs and bullshit, huh?”
She smiles, looking up, our noses touching. “Pretty much. Though I did think there would be tickling, too.”
“The day has only started, sweet cheeks.”
“Part of me would be fine just staying in this Jeep all day.”
“And what would we do here all day, Chloe?”
“I bet you could come up with a few ideas.”
“Tempting, but no. I decided to forgo the rock climbing today though. I’m taking you on a hike.”
“What, you don’t think I can handle the climb?”
I shake my head, seriously. “That’s not it at all.”
“What is it then, Noah?”
I run my hands through her hair, pulling her to me, her cheeks fitting so perfectly in my palms.
“Chloe, I couldn’t bear it if you got hurt under my watch.”
Her eyes are glassy, filled with tears. “I didn’t expect to get so emotional with you, Noah.” She bites her bottom lip in that adorable way of hers. “But I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I love this softer side of you.”
At that I pull my girl even closer, moving her hand to my groin. “You’ll love the harder side of me, too, I promise.”
Chapter 14
After I kiss her perfect mouth, enjoying her vanilla latte-flavored lips, I take her on the hike.
The whole time we can’t keep our hands from one another, my hands wrap around her waist as she climbs up the path. I love watching her cute little butt move as she takes each step.
“Are you staring at my ass?” she asks, turning around, her eyes twinkling.
“Not just staring,” I tell her. “I’m imagining all the things I want to do to it.”
“I don’t know what it says about me that I can’t even come up with ideas about what you could possibly do to my ass. So, please, Noah, explain.”
“You’re killing me, Chloe,” I murmur. “If I tell you what I want to do to your ass, will you give me access to it when we have our night together in a few days?”
“Are you asking for complete access when we have our orgy... or whatever you want to call it?”
“Orgy, huh?” I shake my head, squeezing her little butt cheeks as I walk beside her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders as we make our way up the top of the path. “I never thought of it as an orgy—do you?”
“Honestly, neither have I. I mean I know it’s gonna be four guys and me but an orgy doesn’t feel very romantic. And what I feel for each of you... feels sensual. Really real.”
“Feels really real for me too.” I stop then, pulling her to me, knowing this secluded spot is ours. No one else knows the place. We’re underneath the rainforest. Beautiful trees create a canopy around us.
The sun breaks through between the branches, filtering light over us. Tropical flowers blossom everywhere, pinks and purples and bright yellows. The sound of a gently crashing waterfall is in the distance. It holds a cascade of water that I’m going to swim in with my girl, Chloe.
“I feel like there’s a lot to learn about you still. The other guys, they told me a little bit about their past. But you... Why are you the way you are?” she asks as I pull her closer to me.
“You feel that? How hard I am? I’m that way because I have the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on in my arms right now.”
She shakes her head. “See, why are you scared to be serious with me. Back in the Jeep, you were being all vulnerable. Do you not want me to know about your life?”
“My life is pretty boring. Honestly, why do you think I started adventure sports?”
“I don’t know. I thought it was kind of a thing that your buddies got really into and you guys discovered it’s a good job and you had fun doing it? Is there a deeper reason than that?”
I know I can’t squirrel my way out of this conversation. But honestly, my truth is different from hers. I don’t want to push her away with my reality.
“Growing up, my life was so damn boring. I grew up with parents who are nice enough. They pay their taxes and pay the mortgage and mow the lawn. But my parents weren’t like Enzo’s. His parents? Damn, they loved him and they let him know it every moment of his life. My parents? They were just there. I can’t remember my dad ever giving me a hug. Or my mom ever asking how I was really doing. My life was so vanilla.”
“Vanilla like my latte?”
“Not that kind of vanilla. Your vanilla is exotic and full of depth. Their vanilla, it was generic vanilla. It was synthetic vanilla. There was no vanilla bean with them. They were wash the car on Saturday and make a roast on Sunday and take off your shoes before you walk inside kind of people.”
“You know you sound crazy, right?” She looks at me like I’m an idiot.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, Noah, you just described pretty much the ideal life. Okay, so your parents didn’t spoil you rotten. They didn’t dip you in compliments. So, what? Everything you’re saying sounds like the kind of childhood I would have dreamed of. Your parents were around, for starters, and secondly, they wanted you.
“Sure, maybe they didn’t take you to Disneyland for your tenth birthday, but they did look after you. More than just look after you. I bet they drove you and your siblings to soccer practice and came to your home football games and gave you a card on graduation.”
I nod my head, my cheeks red, and hating myself. My perception of my parents is bitter—and for no good reason.
“You must think I’m some kind of a fucking asshole.”
She smirks, her hands are on my waist, mine around hers. “That’s about right.”
“Well, now you know my lame-ass truth. Probably always been a greedy motherfucker. I wanted to get out of that house first chance I got, so I did. That’s why I wanted to be a rock climber. Why I wanted to travel the world. I wanted something more than vanilla.”
“I get it. You were made for adventure, but maybe your regular childhood was a gift. It has empowered you to do crazy things now that you’re a man. Take risks. Leaps of faith.” She shrugs. “Taking a chance on me.”
“And the exact opposite is true for you?” I ask, looking at her.
“Yeah, it is. I’ve always been alone, I’ve never had anyone who I could rely on for anything. And forget Thanksgiving dinners and back-to-school clothes. I couldn’t count on anyone showing up my parent-teacher conferences. I could count on my hand the number birthday cards I got over the years. Because of that, I tend to be really afraid. Afraid of taking chances and taking risks, because if I fall no one is going to be there to catch me.”
Chloe twists her lips and I encourage her to keep talking. If she’s gotten this far, I need to hear the rest.
“I think you’re so comfortable taking risks,” she tell me. “You know, making jokes and making passes? Noah, I’d guess that it’s because you’ve never failed. And you know deep down even if you did, it would be okay. Someone would be there to pick you right back up. And sure, maybe your parents are not going to tell you you’re the most amazing kid ever, but if you ever needed to be bailed out, they would show up, and they would make sure you were okay.”
I swallow hard; no one has ever talked like this to me before. So damn straight.
“I’m honestly
speechless. You’re right. I’ve maybe been too hard on my parents all these years.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Maybe?”
This girl wasn’t giving me a break at all, but maybe that’s exactly the kind of woman I need. A woman who pushes me to think beyond my limited ideas of what family is, and what love is, and what relationships are.
Pushes me in all the right ways.
“Okay, not maybe,” I concede. “Certainly. Maybe I never gave them the chance either, it’s a two-way street, right? I probably haven’t let them know that I love them, either.”
“I’m proud of you,” she tells me, putting her hands on both my cheeks and looking at me squarely in the eyes. “I’m proud of you for not pushing this conversation away right now. For not freaking out, and turning it into a joke. I don’t think you’re like any other man I’ve ever met. It’s like you’ve been waiting for me. Waiting for someone who could give it as well as you can dish it out.”
“Oh baby, I can dish it.” I grin as her hand runs over the outside of my shorts. My cock is so fucking hard. Hard for her. Her words. Her strength.
I want her, I want her for the woman she is, the woman I can see her becoming.
I want Chloe.
“My parents did take me to Disneyland for my tenth birthday,” I admit. “I had to tell you that or it would always weigh on my mind.”
“You are a jackass,” she says, laughing. And then she presses her hand harder against my shaft. I groan under her touch.
“So, does this mean you are giving me your ass when we have our not-orgy?” I ask.
She nods. “On one condition: You have to promise to take me to Disneyland one day.”
I smile at her sadly, seeing a wounded girl who never got a chance to be a kid. I want to make it up to her in some way, somehow. “I promise.”
Chapter 15
We walk the rest of the trail and by the time we reach the top of the waterfall, our faces are sweaty. Beads of it pool between Chloe’s beautiful breasts, and she pulls off her tank top wiping her brow, leaving her in nothing but a teeny tiny bikini top and a pair of cut-offs.