“Kissing you is like kissing a stranger these days,” she murmurs before opening her door.
My shoulders sag. Throwing open my door, I quickly catch up to her and grab her arm to stop her from walking inside.
“I haven’t been myself lately, but I’m trying. I really am.”
Her features soften, and she steps closer to me. “I understand this has caught you off guard, as it did me too, but think of it this way. This could be our fresh start. Maybe this is happening now for a reason.”
Anger bubbles in my gut, forcing me to bite down on my tongue. The reason she’s talking about is because of India. We lose her but gain a child, and she’s easily replaced? No. Deep down, though, I know she doesn’t mean it the way my head’s making it out to be.
“You’re right. And for the record, I am happy about it.”
And this is the first lie I’ve told her. I keep my smile locked in place, slide my hand along her lower back, and guide her inside the office door.
“Head’s up. Your old man’s here,” Tal informs me.
I’ll be damned, he is.
Standing in the doorway, his frame blocks out the sunlight trying to pour through, and brothers begin to notice.
I stand to go over to him, but Cas and Sparky beat me to it, approaching him like they would a frightened animal. I make my way over to them, but hang back.
“It’s fucking good to see you here, brother,” Cas greets him.
Dad scoffs at the term brother. “I’m here to tell you I just had a fed on my doorstep.”
“What?” Sparky barks, as Cas asks, “What did he want?”
“He wanted to talk about India. I didn’t let him go any further and rode off.”
“You think he’ll be back?” Sparky asks next.
“Sure as shit, I do. It goes without saying that when he returns, I won’t say a word.”
“We know that, Slade. That shit would never cross our minds.”
He turns his back and walks out. Cas and Sparky are quick to follow, and I too head outside.
“Stay, brother. You’re here now,” Cas urges. Dad freezes mid-step before continuing on to his bike. A part of him wants to stay, I know it.
Stepping around Cas and Sparky, I jog after him. Before he can start his bike, I snatch the keys from his hand.
“Why did you come here? You could’ve called me to relay the message to Cas.”
“They would’ve shown up at the house anyway for answers I can’t give.”
“It’s more than that, Dad. You came here because you know it’s where you’re meant to be.”
He rips the keys from my hand and shoves one in the ignition. “Go home to your old lady,” he says over the roar of his engine. “She’s due to have my grandbaby today. Be a fucking man and figure your shit out. You don’t get to be selfish when you have a child.”
Stepping back, he takes advantage and rides out through the gates, heading for town. I stare after him as the prospect starts to close them. It’s a new protocol, which is becoming standard practice.
A heavy hand lands on my shoulder, and I see Cas out of the corner of my eye.
“He’ll come back to us, you wait and see,” he tells me. “And he had a point. Go home.”
Shrugging away from his touch, I head for my own bike and ride into town. I pull up outside of the house I share with Nina to find Harper’s car parked in the drive. I never thought she’d be the caring and nurturing type, but I’m glad she’s here when I haven’t been.
Nina isn’t as alone as she thinks she is. She hasn’t said much, but I’ve seen the longing for more in her eyes over the last couple of years.
Swinging my leg over my bike, I walk up the front path and go to put the key in the lock. I drop my hand for a moment, then lift my hand instead to knock.
I have no idea why I’m here, as I still believe they’re better off without me. But I’m here, and I need to lay eyes on her, if only for a few minutes.
The door opens, and I half expect Harper to answer, but it’s Nina, looking even more tired than she did yesterday.
She’s just as shocked to see me as I am at showing up here.
“How are you feeling?” I ask, and immediately feel like an ass.
“How am I feeling?” she repeats quietly. “I’m due to give birth any minute. My baby’s father left me and wants nothing to do with either of us. My feet are swollen and hurt when I walk. My back hurts, and I’ve peed fifteen times already this morning. I’m doing great, Zachery. How are you?”
Sarcasm drips from her every word. I find myself stepping closer to her when I should be stepping away.
“I…”
“You what? You’re sorry? You want to come home? You wish I’d leave town so you wouldn’t have the reminder of us here? You what?”
My eyes drop to her round stomach, feeling nothing for the life growing inside of her. A life I put there, and should be anxiously awaiting to arrive. But to me, it’s just another life that could be caught up in a world of blood and bullets.
“Is that what you’re planning? To leave town?” I ask, her last question registering in my head.
“It would make your life easier, wouldn’t it? I don’t know what I’m doing yet. I can’t think past giving birth.”
“Once the kid’s here, maybe you should leave town.”
Hurt flashes across her face, but it’s soon replaced with anger. “I swear to God, if I weren’t pregnant, I’d fucking kill you. Is that all you came here for, to tell me to leave?”
The truth is, I have no idea why I’m here, but she doesn’t deserve any more confusion from me. She’s had more than her fair share of my shit lately.
“If you need money, you don’t even have to ask me yourself. Get Harper to come to me. I’ll get you whatever you want or need.”
“You’re a fucking asshole.”
A tear slips down and over her cheek. I’ve rarely seen her cry, and it’s the only thing getting through to me.
“I’ll tell you what. I will be leaving town once the baby’s here. I’ll need enough to set up a new life until I can sell this place. I don’t ever want to see you again, and the thought of our child knowing you live in the same vicinity, yet treat him so coldly, like he doesn’t exist… I can’t bear the thought of that. You can give Harper the cash once you have it. Don’t come back here.”
She steps back inside and slams the door shut in my face. Resting my forehead against the glass, I let my own tear fall.
“I’m sorry.”
Nina
I wipe the wetness away before storming back into the kitchen. I’m not shedding anymore tears over that man. Just because his decisions have broken my heart, doesn’t mean I have to allow him to fill my life with more sadness.
“Was that Zachery?” Harper asks as I join her at the table.
“Yes.”
“What did he want?”
“He wants me to leave town.”
Fatigue creeps over me, just as a sharp pain shoots across my lower stomach, causing me stretch out in the chair.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, her head tilting as she narrows her eyes at me.
“Nothing. Just a pain.”
“It’s not nothing if you’re in pain, Nina.”
“It’s just Zach pissing me off and stressing out the baby. Maybe the kiddo doesn’t want to leave town.”
Trying to play it off doesn’t help, and another sharp pain makes me gasp. This is so much more than I was expecting, and I brace myself for another one.
Am I contracting? I stand up slowly and lean on the table to see if standing will help.
“Seriously, are you okay?”
“I am now. It’s all good.”
No more pains come, and Harper asks, “Are you going to leave town?”
“It’s probably for the best if I do. He isn’t changing his mind, Harper. How can we live here, seeing him occasionally, and have him ignoring us? Ignoring our child? You and me, we grew up without dads, so
imagine if we did but they treated us like we didn’t exist. It’d be far worse than never seeing them.”
“I see your point, I really do. But you and the baby still have family here. I’m not on great terms with Kristen, but she’s going to want to be a part of your lives, and Slade would be a brilliant grandpa.”
I go to answer her when another pain rips through my abdomen, and then my thighs become warm. Sliding my hand down, my fingertips feel wet. Sheer terror takes over.
My voice is shaky when I say, “My water broke.”
Zachery and leaving town becomes a distant memory very fast.
“Okay, okay, um… yes, okay. You sit down and I’ll… yes,” Harper frets. “What do you need me to do?”
“My hospital bag is in my bedroom, and I need to call my doctor.”
“Okay. I’ll go get your bag and you call your doctor, and then we’ll go from there.”
She passes me my cell and moves quickly, heading upstairs for my bag.
This is really happening, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Taking a deep breath, I pull up my doctors’ number and call.
This is it. I’m about to become a mother, and it couldn’t have come at a worse time in my life.
“You’re doing great, Nina. You’re six centimetres dilated, and everything is as it should be,” the doctor says from between my legs.
Doctor Ross is the kindest, most sweetest man I’ve ever met, and I instantly felt at ease with him at our first appointment.
He carries out his examination, and all I can think of while he checks me is that if it weren’t for Harper, I’d be alone. As if she can hear my thoughts, she grabs my hand and holds it tight.
“Are you sure you don’t want the epidural?” he asks.
“I’m sure.”
I’ve thought long and hard, and I’m sure I can handle whatever this birth has to throw at me.
“I’ll call Zach,” Harper says as the doctor finishes up and leaves the room.
“No, don’t. He’s made how he feels perfectly clear.”
“Nina, I should at least let him know you’re here.”
What’s the point? He spent months pushing me away. In the last week, he’s told me goodbye, moved out, and advised me to leave town.
“No.”
“Well, you should know I called Slade when I was getting your hospital bag. He and Kristen should be here soon.”
As she informs me of this, the door opens, and a nurse leads Kristen inside. I’m almost shocked at the sight of her. She could pass for a human going about her day, if you ignore the emptiness in her eyes.
“I got here as soon as I could.” She offers me a small smile, but it’s a big deal. She hasn’t smiled since that night. But it’s wiped away as she stands at my bedside, taking in Harper’s presence.
“You can go now. I’ll stay with her.”
Harper tenses and goes to speak, but I jump in first. “She’s staying.”
“You know what she did to India. This should be family only.”
I want to laugh, but not because I find anything about this situation funny.
“She’s family, Kristen, and she’s not leaving.”
She’s been the only one around for me, and I wouldn’t want her anywhere else. Harper reaches for my hand, and Kristen lets out a sad sigh. “Where’s Zach?” she questions, dumping her purse on the floor by her feet. This is going to be a long labour with these two at my side.
“Nina doesn’t want him here,” Harper replies, saving me from answering.
As she takes her seat, Kristen freezes and frowns at me.
“I don’t even understand what’s going on with you two at the moment, but whatever it is, he should be here.”
The inner child in me wants to roll my eyes, stick my tongue out at her, but she’s his mother, and she’s about to be my baby’s grandmother. I know she only wants us to be together, and to be honest, it’s the first time in a long time I’ve felt included in her family.
“He’s the one who doesn’t want to be here. As far as he’s concerned, once I’ve given birth, he wants us to leave town.”
This shuts her up. She stares at me, her mouth hanging open.
Another contraction spreads across my stomach, giving Kristen the time she needs to soak in the truth about her son.
“Deep breaths, Nina,” Harper tries to soothe, but as easy as that sounds, during the pain, it’s easy to forget.
Once it passes, Kristen’s pulling her phone out of her purse, her fingers flying furiously over the keypad.
“He doesn’t want to be here, Kris,” I grind out.
“I wasn’t texting him. I was messaging Slade.”
She’s lying through her teeth, I know it. I don’t even know when the last time they spoke about anything was.
“I’ve already informed Slade the baby’s on its way,” Harper interjects, making Kristen tense.
“Let’s get this straight. I’m here for Nina, and you’re here for Nina. We’re not here together,” Kristen snaps.
Harper bristles. Straightening her shoulders, she urges, “You hate me, and I’m living with that, but we’re here for Nina and your grandchild. For one day, we can put our strife aside and not ruin Nina’s experience.”
Closing my eyes, I sigh, blocking them out. For a while, I imagine giving birth surrounded by candles, soft lighting and low music with Zach at my side, holding my hand, rubbing my back, taking deep breaths alongside me. But instead, this is what I’ve ended up with.
Zachery
I can’t get the image of Nina tearing up out of my head. She’ll cry now, but soon, she’ll see this was for the best. That letting her go was the only way to keep her and the baby safe.
I order another beer, enjoying the peace of drinking in town brings. None of the other patrons give a shit about me. They have their own problems to drink away. It’s not like being at the club where a brother will try to fix your problems for you at every turn.
I slap the cash down on the bar, ignoring my phone as it vibrates in my pocket. I just want a few drinks without being interrupted, only it’s not going to happen here either like I’d hoped. Dad walks in, spots me, and struts over. Not saying a word, he grabs me by my cut and drags me off the stool. Pulling me outside, he lets go and shoves me toward my bike.
“What the fuck?” I growl.
“Nina’s in labour, and you’re not letting her down. I don’t care what’s happened, you’re going to be there for her. This will be one time in her life that she’s going to need you the most. Your mom and Harper are with her, but it’s you she needs.”
I straighten my cut and step away from him. She can’t be in labour… I only just saw her.
“She’s better off with them.”
“Like fuck she is. Listen to yourself, son. What’s your fucking problem?” When he moves closer, I take another step back.
“Talk to me! Explain what’s going on in your head, because I’m failing to understand what your reasons could be for abandoning the best thing that will ever happen to you.”
“The best thing? And what happens when I can’t protect them? What happens when I can’t control the shit that always comes for us and they end up hurt? Or worse, like India, in a fucking grave before her twentieth birthday? I end up like you. Nina looks at me like she hates me, like Mom looks at you. If I’m not a part of their lives, if they leave town, anyone who comes for us won’t know they exist.”
He visibly relaxes before me, closing the space between us. Cupping my face in his hands, he stares into my eyes intensely.
“What do you think will happen to them out in the world on their own without you? Bad things happen all the fucking time, so man up and do your fucking duty. Where I failed, you succeed. You learn from my mistakes. That baby is your responsibility, and you will step up or I’ll drag you there myself. Do not fucking push me.”
My nostrils flare as I yank my head from his grip. “How dare you get up in my business now when you’ve b
een nowhere for months!”
“I… I’m sorry. And that’s exactly why I’m not going to let you fuck this up.”
I can’t fucking win. I fuck it up when I’m with her, and according to my dad, I’m fucking it up without her.
“Son.” His voice drops, and he pulls out his smokes, taking one out of the pack. Lighting it up, he passes it over to me, and lights another for himself. “At least be there for her, regardless of what’s going on between you. You don’t want to miss this, not for anything. It’ll be your biggest regret. Trust me, one day you will come to regret it.”
Taking another drag on the cigarette, I flick it across the lot.
“Zachery, please. It’s cutting me up watching you destroy everything around you. Seeing your child come into the world is the best thing you’ll ever witness.”
He isn’t going to let up. “Fine.”
Without another word, he heads for his bike as I stroll over to mine. Shit. My kid’s coming, and I’ve already let him down. The last time I saw Nina, I suggested she go. There’s no way she’s going to want me at her side.
She’s in room 203, and my heart sinks into my stomach when I open the door and see her lying there with her eyes closed, resting, machines beeping beside her, and my mom throwing vicious looks at Harper from across the room.
“About time,” Harper mutters, but I ignore her, keeping my attention on Nina.
“He’s here now,” Mom says quietly, but sharply. “We’ll wait outside. The nurse doesn’t think it’ll be long now.”
My heart thunders in my chest when Nina opens her eyes and sees me standing at the end of her bed.
“What are you doing here?” she asks, looking frightened when she notices Mom and Harper getting ready to leave her alone with me.
“We’re having a baby, aren’t we?”
Why oh fucking why am I trying to lighten the mood between us? I’m so focused on her, I don’t see the room empty out. Moving around the bed, I take the seat my mom was sitting on.
His Last Chance : Sons of Lost Souls MC Book Seven Page 6