Sighing, she turned the shower on and stood under the hot water until the slight ache in her muscles eased. After drying off, she rummaged through her suitcase until she found a high-collared, cap-sleeved top to wear that mostly covered the mark. Just to be sure, she also applied some makeup over it. Happy that it wouldn’t be easily visible, she headed down to breakfast.
When she got there, everyone was at the table except for Connor. She smiled at all the guys, said good morning, then slid in next to Tex, who gave her a little shoulder bump. “Not long to go now before you can escape from us. Can you believe it’s been three months already?”
“Not really.” The smile she gave him wavered. “I’ll miss you guys.”
His eyes softened. “We’ll miss you too. It’s been great having you around. But hey, we’ll keep in touch, right? You can always come visit us in LA. Or when we’re in the San Francisco area, we can drop in for a visit. And I’m sure we can swing some free tickets to any of our concerts you want to come to.” He winked at her.
She reached over and squeezed his hand. “Thanks, Tex. That means a lot.” But she knew she wouldn’t do any of those things. It would be way too hard to cut ties with Connor without tormenting herself by trying to push her way back into his life. Or even worse, watch him from the audience at one of their concerts, just another fan. She needed a clean break and time to get over her feelings for him.
She was halfway through her breakfast when she realized Connor wasn’t just running slightly late. Concerned, she turned to Tex. “Where’s Connor?”
“Uh, apparently he wanted to have some time on his own this morning, so he headed out with Will in tow.” The look he gave her was suspiciously sympathetic.
“Oh, right.” It was all Lexie could think to say. She felt deflated at not getting to see him, even though they’d only parted ways a couple of hours before. She wanted to make the most of every moment they had left together, as if she could make a lifetime of memories with him in the next few days. But she had no claim on his time, and if he needed some space, then he should be able to take it without worrying about her.
* * *
Connor still hadn’t returned by the time Lexie had packed, loaded her stuff on the tour bus, and headed to the venue with the others. Apparently, he’d already stashed his bags on the bus before heading out that morning. Noah assured her Connor was probably planning to meet them at the stadium, but when they got to the venue, he wasn’t there. Lexie’s concern grew when she saw Noah’s frown. “Is he going to miss soundcheck?” she asked him.
He shrugged. “We’ve still got a little time. I’m sure he’ll turn up. Since we played here last night, we might get away without him at soundcheck, though it’s not ideal.”
Lexie found herself checking the clock more frequently as Connor’s absence continued. She tried to keep her mind occupied by going about her business, taking shots of the crew testing and checking the equipment to make sure it was still in working order after the last performance.
She was taking a shot of the lighting techs working when Joe, the man who had asked her out at the start of the tour, wandered over, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. They had chatted a few times over the last couple of months, once they’d got over the awkwardness of her turning him down. So, when he came and stood next to her, she gave him a friendly smile.
“Are you going to miss all this craziness?” he asked.
Lexie suppressed a frown. She hated being reminded of the ticking clock. As much as she knew her time with Connor was almost up, she was doing her best not to think about it. She wanted to drag out every minute of the next few days. Not that she could tell Joe that, so she thought of something else which was true in its own right. “I’m looking forward to getting back out in the field. I enjoy being in nature, traveling, seeing the beauty in people just living their lives. This has been an amazing experience, but it’s been intense. It’s not something I could keep doing. I need to get home and start figuring out what’s next for me.”
Joe nodded. “I can understand that. It takes a certain kind of person to be on the road all the time.” He paused, rubbing the back of his neck before blurting out, “Hey, I know your answer will probably be the same, but I was wondering if I could get your number and when I’m next in San Francisco we could catch up, get a drink?” His dark eyes looked at her hopefully.
Lexie’s smile froze. She liked Joe but had no interest in starting anything romantic with him. Now she had to think of a way to let him down gently. Again. “Oh Joe, you’re very sweet…” She stopped midsentence when she saw Joe’s eyes flick over her shoulder and his smile drop.
A low voice, dripping with ice, came from behind her. “We don’t pay you to stand around trying to get into Lexie’s pants, Joe. How about you get back to work.”
Lexie looked over her shoulder and stared at Connor in shock. She’d never heard him sound or look so angry. Joe, appearing suitably chastised, nodded a quick goodbye at her and walked quickly away.
She turned to face Connor, his severe expression making her stomach drop. Glancing around to see if anyone was nearby, she put her hand on his arm and lowered her voice. “What’s wrong, Connor?” She didn’t think she’d ever seen his face look as hard as it did then. His jaw was clenched so tightly she could see a muscle tic in his cheek. “Was it what Joe said? I wasn’t going to say yes.”
He shook her hand off and hurt stabbed through her. Why was he angry at her?
“Connor, I don’t know what I said to upset you. Please tell me what’s wrong.” She didn’t want their last few days together to be ruined by what might be a silly misunderstanding.
He looked at her, his expression cold. There was something else in his eyes too, but for the life of her she couldn’t figure out what it was.
“If you’re ready to go home, then don’t feel you have to hang around. After all, I think we’re pretty much done here.”
Lexie’s heart stopped, before kicking back in at double time. The sudden rush of blood through her veins made her dizzy. He couldn’t be saying what she thought he was, could he? Not after last night?
“We’ve still got three days left.” She was still hopeful she’d misunderstood him.
His icy expression didn’t change. “I imagine you’ve got all the photos you need by now; you even got some bonus exclusive content.”
“Don’t do this, Connor,” she whispered, hating the coldness in his eyes.
But he kept going, sticking the knife in and twisting it. “And I got everything I wanted from you.”
She inhaled sharply as shock and pain flooded through her. So, this was how he was going to do it. As tender as he’d been with her, she’d thought he’d at least be kind about it. But it seemed like he wasn’t going to even wait until the end of the tour to throw her out of his bed. It was so out of the blue. There’d been no sign that this was coming when they’d been together last night. As intense as that entire experience had been, she’d even started to believe he might feel something for her. Something more than just physical desire.
She blinked back tears and reached out to him. “Connor, please—”
He turned and walked away.
Lexie stared after him in shock, then looked down at the camera she was holding in her trembling hands. She wasn’t going to be able to hold back the tears any longer. She needed to get out of here. Right now.
Lexie composed herself long enough to rush from the building, hitting the pavement outside and bolting as scalding tears poured from her eyes. Her heart felt like it had been ripped from her chest.
She had known the end was going to hurt—how could it not, once she’d realized she’d fallen in love with him. She’d tried to tell herself that she was prepared; as if being prepared for it to end would leave her heart in one piece. But Lexie hadn’t expected him to be so cruel about ending it. She’d hoped they’d have one last amazing night together before going their separate ways.
But that’s not what had
happened, and now Lexie was paying the price for her stupidity. She had thought she’d got to know the man behind the rock star persona, but she’d been wrong. Turns out she didn’t know him at all.
Lexie wasn’t sure where to go, she just needed to get out, get away, and spend the rest of the day on her own while she figured out what she needed to do to get home. Then she’d come back for the rest of her stuff. She’d miss the last few concerts, but there was nothing in her contract that said she had to be at every one.
Her laugh was bitter. Connor had as much as ordered her to leave anyway. He’d been right when he said she had more than enough photos for the book. Lexie rubbed her forehead. She’d still have to spend time editing the photos and putting it all together, then sending a mock-up for approval. She wasn’t going to be able to cut ties with the band just yet. But hopefully she could get it done before she left for Canada, and then she could take the time to grieve for what she’d lost here.
Lexie didn’t take any notice of where she was going, she just kept moving away from the man who had come to mean so much to her. Today, it was going to be just her and her camera, the way it had been ever since Damien had died.
Chapter 40
Connor checked everywhere for Lexie, as well as calling her phone.
No answer. Fuck.
He’d spoken to Maggie and Lexie’s stuff was still on the bus, so she had to come back at some stage. His stomach twisted at the memory of the hurt in her eyes, and he cursed himself.
Why the hell had he said those things to her? He’d been an absolute bastard, and he’d regretted it almost as soon as he’d walked away. But when he’d overheard her tell Joe she was looking forward to going home and figuring out what was next for her, pain had ripped through him so hard and fast he hadn’t been able to breathe. Then Joe had asked her out—just like any number of men would in the future—and Connor had been hit with the reality that once her heart had healed enough, she would fall in love with one of those men, would marry him, have his children.
The thought of Lexie leaving him to be with someone else had been too much to handle so soon after finding out about his father. He’d lashed out, wanting only to hurt her before she had the chance to do it to him. By the time he came to his senses, it was too late—she’d disappeared.
Connor sat down heavily on one of the couches on the bus and slumped forward, elbows on knees and head in hands, wondering how he’d screwed everything up so badly. He’d taken his hurt and anger at his dad’s actions and focused it on Lexie, the last person in the world who deserved it. The only thing he could do now was give her the space she needed, and then as soon as he saw her again, he’d apologize, take her in his arms and show her just how sorry he was. If they only had a few days left, he wanted every minute of those days with her.
Lexie still hadn’t returned by the time he had to go onstage. When the others asked him where she was, he just shook his head, not knowing how to answer. When Drew pressed him, worried, and wanting to know what had happened, Connor had to tell him they’d had an argument. Drew gave him a sharp, too-knowing look at that and sent one of their security detail back to the hotel in case Lexie had headed back there. Connor had never felt so little desire to get out on stage and perform. The fact he’d ended up drinking far more than he normally did before a show hadn’t helped.
His performance that night was one of his worst. The crowd seemed happy enough, but he could see Tex, Zac, and Noah giving each other concerned looks when his distraction became obvious. He kept searching the crowd and the side stage, hoping to see her standing there, camera in hand. But she never appeared. At one point it got so bad Tex had to pull him aside for a second between songs to tell him to get it together.
By the time they finished their last song, he’d had enough and walked offstage while the others were still thanking the crowd. He didn’t care, he just wanted to find her. But she wasn’t anywhere backstage. He cornered Drew to ask if he’d heard anything, but Drew shook his head. “Her stuff is still on the bus though, so she has to come back. I just hope it’s soon because we have to head out in a couple of hours.”
Connor showered in the green room, then headed for the after-party, hoping against hope she’d be there. He searched the room but couldn’t see her. His heart sank, and he lost whatever patience he had for being there. Grabbing a beer from the bar, he drank it down in several long swallows, then tossing the empty bottle in the trash. Moving through the room, he tried to avoid meeting anyone’s gaze. He had no desire to talk to the fans, practically ignoring any that dared approach him.
One little blonde didn’t get the hint and kept following him around as he bided his time before he could head back to the bus. She just wouldn’t leave him alone, when all he wanted was to be by himself, drowning his sorrows in a bottle of whiskey. God, she was at it again, pressing herself up against him, trying to get him to engage in her attempts at seduction. Eventually, he’d had enough. Connor didn’t like being rude, but she wasn’t getting the hint. Grabbing her shoulders, he pulled her toward him, putting his face so close to hers that her eyes almost crossed trying to focus on him. “Leave me the fuck alone,” he snarled.
Which was when he heard Tex calling Lexie’s name. Connor released the blonde woman and spun around, but all he saw was the door swinging shut behind a fast-moving Lexie. He cursed and pushed his way through the crowd, but Tex grabbed his arm and growled in his ear. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage?”
Connor jerked his arm out of Tex’s grip, “Fuck off, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” He tried to push his way past Tex, but his friend grabbed him again.
“You need to calm down and let her go. I saw the expression on that girl’s face, and she’s not going to listen to anything you have to say right now.”
“Let me go or I’ll fucking kick your ass.” He stared Tex down, breathing heavily.
Tex searched his face, then released his arm, shaking his head. “You fucked up, man.”
Connor barely glanced at him before forcing his way through the crowd to the door, swinging it open and rushing out. He looked around but couldn’t see Lexie anywhere, so he ran down the hall and out the exit, looking around desperately. She wasn’t there but seeing the tour bus he had a sudden hope he’d find her in her bedroom. He sprinted over to the security officer watching the bus.
“Is Lexie in there?”
The guy shook his head. “She was, but she left.”
“What do you mean? She left just now?”
He looked worried, obviously concerned he was going to get in trouble for something. “She just left in a cab.”
Still hopeful, he asked, “Did she have her suitcase?”
The guy nodded. “She grabbed it off the bus and loaded it into the cab before she went inside the venue.”
Connor pulled out his cell phone and dialed Lexie’s number. It rang twice and then went to voicemail. She’d rejected his call. He dialed again with the same result. The third time he called it went straight to voicemail, meaning she’d turned her phone off. He left a quick message urging her to call him back.
Lexie didn’t have much of a head start; if she was going to the airport, he could still catch her. He ran back inside and found Tex and Drew standing just inside the door, talking in hushed tones. Tex had his phone out, and Connor wondered briefly if he’d tried to call Lexie too, and whether he’d had more luck.
“Drew, I need a car.” Connor scowled when Drew glanced at Tex then slowly shook his head.
“I’ll call a fucking cab, then.” He went to pull his phone out of his pocket again, but Tex put a hand on his shoulder before he could get it out. “Before you end up doing something even more stupid, we need to talk.”
“I have to catch her!” He was almost yelling now.
“Where do you think she’s going?” Tex asked.
“I don’t know—probably to the airport.”
“Or to a hotel for the night?”
“
Maybe, but I can’t search every hotel. I can go to the airport though.”
“And buy a ticket just in the hope she’ll be there waiting for you?”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because this is not a fucking romance movie, and things like that don’t work in real life,” Tex said, his voice harsh.
“Not to mention, we have to leave and get on the road in the next half an hour to make Phoenix tomorrow, which is in the opposite direction to the airport.” Drew spoke calmly, but Connor could see the restrained anger in his face.
Connor shook his head, ready to tell him he didn’t give a fuck, but Tex’s next words stopped him in his tracks.
“You can’t confront her in a public place like that. Not when she’s going to be as upset as she looked when she ran out of here. You’ll back her into a corner, and you’d better be prepared for a fight.”
“I just need to explain to her why I said the things I did. I need to apologize. I screwed up, but I can fix it if I can just talk to her.”
Tex raised his eyebrows. “How exactly are you going to explain to her why you were kissing that woman back there?”
Connor’s head jerked up. “What are you talking about? I didn’t kiss anyone.”
Tex narrowed his eyes at him. “I saw Lexie when she came in. She told me you’d had a falling-out and she was leaving, but she wanted to say goodbye to everyone first. I tried to talk her out of going, but she was determined. That’s when we both saw you across the room with your tongue down some blonde’s throat. Lexie turned white and bolted. So, you tell me what the hell was going on if you weren’t kissing her. Since there was obviously something going on between you and Lexie, you’d better make it a good explanation, otherwise, I’m going to make you regret hurting her.” Tex’s anger and disappointment in him were palpable.
Fractured Hearts: A Fractured Rock Star Romance Page 24