“Do you want to stay away from me?” he asks.
My heart pounds. “No,” I mumble. “But sometimes I wonder if I’m being selfish for wanting you.”
“But is it selfish if I want you too?”
“It’s not that simple,” I whisper, wishing he understood. But it’s hard when he doesn’t know the truth.
“Then explain it to me.”
I sit up, shivering from being wet and naked in the freezing cold. I reach for my sweater and slide it over my head. Then I wrap my jacket around me and pull on my jeans. It’s an effort, because my skin is still damp, and Adam watches me with amusement. He chuckles as I grow more and more frustrated, eventually getting them on.
“Thanks for your help,” I tease, narrowing my eyes.
“Honestly, I think my help would’ve made things harder. And you didn’t answer my question.”
“Because I’m mindful that your lunch break is probably over and you need to get back to work,” I point out. He glances his phone, cursing under his breath.
“If I didn’t have an appointment in twenty minutes, I’d be canceling the rest of my day. Can I give you a lift back into town?”
“Thanks,” I say with a smile that. “That would be nice.”
He drives down the main street, toward my motel. I spy the pawn shop coming up and feel a pang of guilt. It’s been a few days since I’ve been in there to check on my ring.
“Just here is fine,” I say, forcing a smile. I yank open the door while the car is still rolling to a stop. I feel tears coming on, and I refuse to cry in front of him.
“Are you sure? It’s no trouble taking you home.”
“I have to pick up some milk,” I mumble. “Thanks for the lift, and thanks for today.”
“I’ll see you soon,” he murmurs.
He takes my hand and tugs me toward him, his mouth finding mine.
I get out of the car and walk across the road, taking a deep breath to force some air into my lungs. Anxiety eats at me as I near the shop. What will I do if it’s not there? I’ve only got another five days until the end of the month. That’s how long he promised to keep it for me. After that, if he sells it, that’s it. It will be gone. I can’t be angry at him for doing his job. He’s got a business to run, not a charity.
I see the ring sitting in the front window and sigh with relief. It’s been polished, so it’s sparkling like crazy. As I stare at it, the owner catches my eye through the window. He smiles at me, and I give him a small wave and then start walking off.
The more times I look at it, the more guilt I feel for having to sell it in the first place. If I’d just been more careful, my money wouldn’t have been stolen, and I’d still have that ring hanging around my neck.
Back at my room, I have a shower then I lay down on my bed. I pull the covers over me and sigh. I don’t know why I feel so depressed, but I do. It’s one of those days where I miss my family and my friends more than anything. When I’m feeling like this, I start to doubt everything, from leaving home in the first place, to what I’m doing with Adam.
Being with him today felt amazing. It felt right, but the moment he leaves me, all the doubts creep back in. I just wish I knew for sure that this wasn’t going to end up hurting him. Because he doesn’t deserve that. Nobody does.
Twelve
Adam
I lean back in my chair and groan, wishing I could concentrate on what I’m supposed to be doing. It’s been three days since our rendezvous at the beach, and I haven’t heard from her at all. Which would be fine, but I can’t get her out of my head. When I close my eyes, she’s all I think about. When I should be focusing on other things—like work—she’s all I think about. She’s driving me crazy and the worst thing is, she has no idea.
Sure, she knows I like her, but she has no idea that I’m falling for her hard and this fast. I know she’s keeping things from me, but I tell myself that it has nothing to do with me. But I’m getting frustrated, because what more do I need to do to prove to her that she can trust me?
She’ll tell me when she’s ready. I just need to be patient.
My father’s words continue to ring in my ear, warning me that someone is going to end up hurt. What if she’s keeping something big from me, something that would change everything? I shake my head. The only thing that would stop me from wanting to act on these feelings would be if I thought for a second that my kids were in danger.
They’re my priority. They have to be. God knows they’ve been through enough.
I finally get her on the phone after my tenth attempt at calling. I’m so shocked when she answers that I’m at a loss for words of what to say. Yesterday, I had a whole smooth, witty conversation all planned out, but when she didn’t answer, I gave up. Now all I can think about is why she wasn’t answering. Was she avoiding me, or was she just really busy? Did she regret what happened between us? So many unanswered questions, but if I ask them all, I’m going to come across very stalkerish, and that’s not what I want.
“Hey,” she says. She sounds happy, like there’s nothing wrong between us at all. I relax. That’s a good sign.
“You’re really hard to get a hold of.” I chuckle, trying to sound natural. “I’ve been calling you for days.”
“I know,” she says with a groan. “I lost my phone charger, and then I was just so snowed under with work that I didn’t have time to buy another one. Sorry. What were you trying to call me about?”
“Just to catch up and see how you were after the other day,” I murmur.
“Are you calling to make sure I recovered?” she says with a giggle.
“Actually, I was hoping to catch up with you again,” I say.
“Well, I’m not working today,” she says. “Come over here if you like, and then we can work out what to do.”
“Okay, sounds good. I’ll see you soon.”
Instead of doing what I should be doing—work—I head over to the motel to see her. I had to reschedule several big meetings and tell my assistant that I think I’m coming down with something, but I managed it. I feel slightly guilty about taking the afternoon off, but it’s not like I can concentrate anyway when all I can think about is her.
It strikes me that the way I’m behaving isn’t that different than the way I was behaving in Chicago. The only thing is, this time I’m not lying to anyone, except maybe myself. The sneaking around, behaving out of the ordinary, it’s not something I like doing, and it’s not a pattern I want to slip back into. It’s one afternoon. It’s not going to kill you. And Amanda was right. I do need to take time off occasionally for myself.
By the time I reach the motel, I’m feeling much more relaxed. I glance around as I knock on her door, aware that if anyone spots me, half the town will probably know by this evening. That’s the thing about living in such a small town. People talk about everything, and me disappearing into her hotel room in the middle of the day would be a hot topic of conversation.
The second she swings the door open, it’s like I can’t focus on anything else. She looks radiant. Her skin is glowing and her wet hair suggests she’s just had a shower. I harden at the thought of the warm water running down her beautiful naked body. Think about something else, for God’s sake.
“Are you coming inside, or are you going to stand there all day and gape at me?” She smirks. Such a sexy smirk too. She takes my hand and pulls me inside, closing the door behind me. “Jesus, you’re acting strange today,” she giggles. “What’s up with you?”
“You have that effect on me.” I grin.
I’m in awe of how relaxed she is as she drapes her arms around my neck and kisses me. She’s cool and calm while I’m over here with my heart racing and my palms sweating. I’m usually so smooth and collected, but around Amanda, I’m the total opposite. I fumble my words and I constantly feel like I’m going to be sick. What is so different about her? Even as I think it, I already know the answer. I like her. A lot.
“How is work going? Are you enjo
ying it?” I ask.
She nods, a smile creeping across her lips. “I love it. I’ve made a few friends and I’m getting to know the town which I don’t think I would’ve done had it not been for this job. And the more I work, the less mistakes I make, which is a bonus for Lily.”
I chuckle. “Lily is pretty laid back. It would take a bit of effort to get on her wrong side.”
“Don’t discount me yet,” she jokes. “I’m sure if anyone can manage it, I can.”
“You do that a lot,” I murmur, studying her with interest. “Put yourself down.”
She shrugs. “I don’t even know that I’m doing it, to be honest. I guess it’s just habit.”
“What was your life like back in Chicago?” I ask her. It’s something we’ve never really spoken about. She’s very guarded about her past, and I respect that, but I wish she’d open up to me a little more.
She shrugs again. “Most of the time I got along well with my father, but when we disagreed, it was usually big and took weeks to overcome. I think our problem is we are too similar. When we think we know best about something, we will do whatever it takes to make the other person understand that.”
“And that becomes a problem when you have different ideas on what is best,” I say.
“Right.” She smiles wistfully. “I think that’s the first time I’ve ever compared myself to my father.”
“It sounds like you have a complex relationship.”
“We do, but isn’t every family that way?” she says. I shake my head, again seeing a woman in front of me who seems so much older than what she is.
“What are you thinking about?” she asks, studying my face.
“Honestly, I’m thinking about how much I want to kiss you right now,” I murmur. She grins, biting her bottom lip seductively.
“Well, come and kiss me then.”
I lead her over to the bed and lay her down, nudging her legs apart. Laying down on top of her, I run my hands over her body, my eyes not leaving hers. I reach down and cup her neck, lifting her face to mine so I can kiss those beautiful, plump lips. She gasps, reciprocating the kiss with an intensity I haven’t felt from her before.
Her fingers fiddle with the buttons on my shirt, popping them open one by one. In the end, she gets impatient and just rips it open. That is going to be a good look when I have to leave. I groan as her hands trail over my chest, my fingers softly stroking her hair as my lips devour hers. I can’t get enough of her. Every touch leaves me wanting more.
I shift down the bed and kiss along her thigh until I reach the hem of her skirt. Bunching it up around her waist, I run my tongue over her wet panties. She gasps, her fingers grabbing at my hair, as I tease her, sucking her through the flimsy fabric while she squirms. I flick them aside with my finger and plunge my tongue inside her. She tastes amazing, and I’m growing harder by the second.
With one hand resting on her thigh, I fumble to undo my jeans with the other. I finally shrug them off, along with my boxer shorts. My dick springs out, erect and aching to feel inside her, but first I want to pleasure her. I want to make her come like she’s only ever imagined in her dreams.
“Stay still,” I say, my voice soft.
She nods, her eyes wide as she watches me dip my tongue inside her. She jumps but manages to keep her position still. I gently suck at her folds as I explore her. My tongue massages her clit, teasing her, begging her to want more. She whimpers, her fingers remaining tangled in my hair. With every thrust, her nails dig into my scalp, hard enough to make me wince. I like the pain, because it means she’s enjoying it.
“Oh god,” she cries out, arching her back.
She lifts herself off the bed and thrusts against me. I groan, savoring her scent, her taste, her everything. She gasps and falls back on the mattress, her long legs wrapping around my neck as she forces my face against her. I work my tongue flicking her sweet spot until she frantically pushes me away, unable to handle any more.
“Come here.” She pants.
She grabs my hand and pulls me up the bed so I’m lying on top of her. My erection presses against her wet pussy. I grunt as she takes hold of my shaft and guides me inside her. She wraps her legs around my waist, rocking her hips against mine. I slide myself inside her, trying my best to take it slow and gentle, but that quickly goes to hell, when the need to just feel her around me takes over. I bury my head in the curve of her neck, biting and kissing her soft skin as I thrust into her. My dick is throbbing, and I’m seconds away from orgasming.
“Oh God,” she whispers, kissing my mouth. “I want you to come inside me.”
I let out a grunt, not capable of any other response, and kiss her mouth, pressing her lips against mine. I hiss, my body jolting against hers as I come. She tenses, locking me inside her as desire ripples through me. I lay back and glance at her. She’s watching me, her eyes glassy with tears. I hope they’re happy tears. I stroke her cheek and kiss her softly. I’m not in the habit of making women cry during sex.
“Is everything okay?” I ask her gently.
My fingers draw circles on her breasts. She shivers and nods, cuddling into me. I want to believe her, but the way her lips are pressed tightly together tells me she’s holding back. I roll onto my side and pull her into my arms. She nestles against me, while my fingers stroke her back.
“Really, I’m fine. I’m just happy, I guess.”
I nod and kiss her on the tip of her nose. “That was pretty amazing,” I agree. “But then again, every moment with you is amazing.”
“That’s pretty high praise,” she giggles. “I’m not sure I deserve it.”
And there it is again. That doubt. I see glimpses of the confidence I’d expect from such an amazing young woman, but more often than not, she doubts herself. Her eyes cast downward as she circles a spot on my arm. I hesitate, not wanting to ruin the moment, but again wanting to drive home that I’m here for her if she needs anything.
“You can talk to me about anything,” I whisper. “I know I say it every day nearly, but I’d never judge you. I’d do whatever I could to help you if you were in trouble.”
She stares up at me, and for the briefest, tiniest moment, I think she’s going to tell me whatever it is that’s on her mind. But, as quickly as the glimmer appeared, it’s gone, and her guard is back up, even higher than it was before.
“I’m fine,” she says.
This time she manages to meet my eyes. Her assurance is almost convincing. I want to believe her, I really do, but she always sounds convincing, even when I know something is bothering her. It’s funny, even though I don’t know her at all, in some ways, I know her too well.
“Okay,” I say simply. “So, what shall we do now?” I ask, moving the conversation forward.
She smiles and rolls onto her stomach to rest on her elbows. I stroke her long, dark hair, that familiar aching feeling beginning to grow in my stomach.
“I’m kind of enjoying just laying here with you,” she admits. “I could fall asleep in your arms.”
She grins as I kiss her, my mouth roughly exploring hers. Staying in sounds pretty fucking good to me. I pull her on top of me, parting her legs so she’s straddling me. She giggles, a blush creeping across her cheeks as she stares down at me. I bounce her gently against my growing erection.
“You’re crazy,” she laughs. “Again?”
“What can I say?” I smirk, running my fingers down over her stomach. “You drive me insane.” She leans over, caressing my face as her lips touch mine. She smiles seductively, rocking herself against my dick.
“Maybe that was my plan all along.” She grins.
Thirteen
Nina
I was so close to telling him everything, but then I realized how selfish that was.
As much as I like Adam and I do trust him, it’s not a lack of trust that’s holding me back. It’s the fear that me entering his life will somehow be his downfall. I just can’t be sure that my father’s enemies won’t come after me
to hurt my father. There was a reason I grew up protected from his world. There are many people who think my father has wronged them. People who will do anything to get revenge.
Sadie got through the divorce unscathed, but what if something happened that my presence caused? What if my problems resulted in that little girl’s life crashing down around her? How could I go on with my life knowing that I caused that? And then there’s Mason. He’s clearly holding on by a thread, what if me being a part of their lives is the trigger that severs that one tiny thread?
He blames his father for so much already. I can’t imagine what he would think about his father being in a relationship, especially with someone so young. And if our relationship did last, what about our age difference? We might not care, but what if the kids do? In three years, I’ll be still in my early twenties, and Mason will be a teenager. How is that going to make him feel? These are all things I can’t ignore. They’re issues that I can’t pretend don’t exist, because they do.
Tucked up in all the doubt and uncertainty I’m feeling toward Adam, is the panic that I still haven’t heard from Michael, other than that one phone call. I’m still not sure that even was him. It’s been nearly a month. The arrangement was after two weeks, he’d be here with me. Something must have happened, but what? And how long do I give him? How long until I decide that something serious has happened to him? He wouldn’t just desert me like that.
Every day, I complete the morbid task of searching, calling hospitals to check if anyone matching his description has been brought in. So far, I’ve been lucky, but I’m waiting for that day, because I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.
Claiming Nina Page 9