Tawnia sighed in defeat, but inside she was excited. “So where are we going on this date?”
“I don’t know where exactly, but he said to dress up.”
Tawnia was already mentally going through her wardrobe. “Would black be all right?” Her mother had always said you couldn’t go wrong with a little black dress.
“Red would be better. Men can’t take their eyes off you if you wear red. If you don’t have a red dress, I have just the thing. It needs matching heels, though. I don’t have any.” Autumn set the casserole pan in the middle of the table on two more hot pads.
“I have red pumps. Several pairs, in fact.”
“Come on. This needs to cool a bit before we can eat it, anyway. I’ll show you the dress.”
The capped-sleeve dress was a bright red that followed Tawnia’s curves perfectly. Simple, yet elegant. “I have just the jewelry to go with this,” she told Autumn. “My parents gave a set to me when I was sixteen—a gold necklace with rubies. And matching earrings and bracelet.”
“Perfect.” Autumn was staring at her, and Tawnia couldn’t help but return the stare.
“So I take it this date with Orion is why you wanted to cut my hair?” Tawnia asked. “So he wouldn’t be able to tell us apart?”
“Partly. But also I was curious. Everyone seems so surprised at how similar we look. I wanted to see if it was true.”
“We’ll have to change your color back. Or I’ll have to grow out my hair. We’ll confuse people.”
Shrugging, Autumn started for the bedroom door but hesitated before reaching it. “When you were a kid, did you ever imagine what it would be like to have a twin?” When Tawnia didn’t immediately reply, she rushed on. “Well, I did. And it didn’t even have to be a twin. I told you before that I wanted a sister but not how much. I wanted it a lot. I pestered Summer about it constantly, and I didn’t understand why my begging made her so sad. How could I have known how hard it was to get a baby if you couldn’t have your own? Especially when you don’t have any money.” She was quiet for a moment before adding. “I’d planned to name her Spring.”
Winter, Summer, Autumn, and Spring. It made perfect sense, if you lived in the Rain family. Tawnia wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness, but she couldn’t because a part of her wished she could be that Spring.
“There were twins at my school,” Tawnia said into the growing silence. “They looked exactly alike, except one had a tiny mole on one side of her face. She was the tomboy. She loved to play ball with the boys, and she was good at it, too. The other girl would play jacks or hopscotch with the girls. So at recess we could tell them apart, but in class it was impossible, unless you looked for the mole.” She had dreamed then about being a twin, but she couldn’t say it aloud. Not now. Not the way Autumn was looking at her—with her own face. It was just too impossible.
“People do look alike without being related at all,” Autumn said softly. “Celebrities are always running into look-alikes.”
Not this similar, Tawnia wanted to say.
Autumn was smiling at her now, with her head slightly tilted. It was disconcerting to see, as though Tawnia were looking in the mirror. “Get changed and we’ll eat. I’ll set out the rest of the food. I have organic salad, yummy cucumber dressing, lots of things to drink, and bread to die for. And for dessert, well, I know you’re not into health food, but I have this carob pie that is out of this world.”
Tawnia turned around. “Okay, but unzip me first.”
A few minutes later they were feasting with enough food to feed a half dozen hungry women, and between the two of them they managed to make most of it disappear. Tawnia enjoyed everything except the carob pie, which was too bitter for her taste. Give me plain old unhealthy pie every time, she thought.
Autumn appeared to enjoy the taste. “I grew up on this stuff.”
Tawnia tried to remember what she had eaten while living with her parents. There had been many interesting-sounding dishes, particularly at her mother’s parties, but none that she remembered enjoying. Wait, there had been chestnuts at Christmastime. Her mother would buy them, and they would roast them together on Christmas Eve. Even her father would be home for once. A smile came unbidden to her face. “Chestnuts,” she said. “That’s what I’m remembering. Have you ever eaten them?”
“A few times. I think it’s an acquired taste. They’re kind of expensive.”
Expensive. Yes, her mother hadn’t needed to worry about things like that.
“Are you okay?” Autumn licked a bit of pie off her finger.
“I was just thinking about my mother and our conversation on the phone this morning. She’s really threatened by all this. That’s why she doesn’t want to believe what I told her about you and me looking alike.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Even if I happened to find my birth mother, it’s not going to change who I am or what I do. I am who I am now. And I think she probably made the best decision she could at the time. I bet it wasn’t easy.”
“Summer said in the beginning my mother went back and forth daily about whether she would go through with the adoption. Maybe in the end she did it only because she knew I’d be with Summer and Winter.”
“I should call my mom.”
Autumn chewed on her bottom lip. “Hmm, maybe not.”
“Why?”
“You could send her that picture Randa took of us. Your mom has a cell phone, right? Just send her the picture and some text and see what happens. She has to believe her own eyes.”
“I don’t even believe it.” But Tawnia was already reaching for her purse. She dug out her phone and began entering a message to send with the picture:
Me & girl I told u about. Don’t want to hurt u but need to know why she looks like me. Lv T
“I hope she remembers how to look at photos,” Tawnia said.
“Winter refused to have a cell phone. He worried about cancer.” Autumn looked down, hiding the tears Tawnia had glimpsed in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up.”
“You bring him up whenever you want.” Tawnia put an arm around her. “I don’t mind.”
Autumn lifted her eyes, her tearful gaze holding Tawnia with an almost physical power. “It’s been nearly a week. Why haven’t they found him?”
“They will.”
“Some part of me hopes they won’t. Maybe he got out of the river, and he’s wandering around with amnesia or something.”
“Is that what you really think?”
“No. I think he’s dead.” She leaned into Tawnia. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Me too.”
Tawnia had time to rub Autumn’s back in a few small circles before the doorbell destroyed the moment. Autumn drew her fingers under her eyes and went to answer the door. “Probably more neighbors. I hope they bring food. Now that I’ll be here to eat it.”
Tawnia smiled and followed her to the door, just in case.
“Bret!” Autumn opened the door wide.
Bret’s gaze swept between them. “What did you guys do? You look incredible! Wait, don’t tell me. I can figure out who’s who.”
Tawnia had forgotten her new haircut. She stood rooted to the spot as he examined them. What if he couldn’t tell them apart? What would that mean? She couldn’t very well, not in the picture, so why should he?
He made a display of walking around them, looking them up and down until Tawnia felt herself going red at his attention. Finally, he pointed at her. “You’re Tawnia. I like the short cut.” He turned to Autumn. “But I think you should have kept the red.”
Autumn laughed. “Wow, I’m impressed. Don’t worry, I’ll get the red back, but for now I want it like this.”
Could he really tell which of them was which? Or had he based his decision on their clothing? After all, Tawnia was still wearing the tan slacks and pink ruffle shirt she’d worn to work, while Autumn was wearing jeans and a long-sleeved cotton shirt she’d picked out to hide the brace on
her broken arm. Or perhaps he noticed the swell of the brace under Autumn’s sleeve. He could also have remembered that Autumn had lost a bit too much weight.
Stop it, she told herself. What did it really matter?
“We sent a picture to my mother,” Tawnia said to Bret, more for something to say than for anything else.
Bret groaned. “You know she’s not going to get any sleep now, don’t you?” He looked at Autumn. “Tawnia’s mother is a really sweet lady, but she’s one of the biggest worrywarts I’ve ever met.” His voice rose to a falsetto. “Are you sure you’re wearing your coat, dear? And did you get that mechanic to check out your tires? You know there’s nothing worse than getting a flat on your way to work.”
“You only met her once!” Tawnia protested.
“Well, she made an impression.” He grinned. “I made one on her, too, if I remember correctly.”
“She would have been picking out china for us and a house, if I’d let her.” Tawnia regretted the words the minute they escaped. There had been a time she would have liked that herself.
Bret put a casual arm around her. “Hey, what about tomorrow night? We could get that dinner I was talking about the other day.”
“I’d like that.” An entire evening alone with him. Yes, she was willing to take the risk.
“You can’t!” Autumn elbowed her as though they’d known each other for years. “You have a date, remember?”
“Oh, that’s right!” Tawnia fought down her disappointment. “I’m going to dinner with a friend.”
“A tall, dark, handsome, older friend,” Autumn put in. To Bret, Autumn added, “Tawnia really likes him.”
Tawnia was beginning to see the disadvantage of having a sister. She turned her face away from Bret and mouthed at Autumn, “Would you shut up?”
Not seeing Tawnia’s glare, Autumn hooked her undamaged arm through Bret’s, pulling him in the direction of the couch. “Don’t worry, we can make a night of it ourselves, if you want. I know a great restaurant.”
“Sounds fun.” Bret didn’t even glance at Tawnia.
Tawnia could see them together now. Bret, the perfect gentleman, would pay for the dinner, and he would be charming all evening. He was careful to be attentive to the woman he was with, not like some men she’d dated. Autumn would be beautiful and fragile with her newly styled hair and her recent tragedy. Tawnia told herself she should be happy for them.
“Honestly, Bret,” Autumn’s face grew grave as she settled on the couch, “I’m glad you’ll be here. It’s been good having Tawnia with me. I don’t know if I’m ready to be alone again. I think I had enough of that at the river.”
Tawnia felt immediately repentant. Of course Autumn shouldn’t be alone. What if her father was found? No one should be alone for news like that. She walked around the couch where Bret was now seated with Autumn. There was space next to him, but it would be odd for her to choose that space, crowding them. Instead, she settled on the easy chair near Autumn. “Actually, I’m going to have to go back to my place tonight,” she said. “I don’t have clothes for tomorrow. I could get them and come back.”
Autumn hesitated only a minute. “No, you go ahead. I’ll have to face this sometime. Probably better from the first.”
Still partially irritated, Tawnia was tempted to let her, but the memory of how she’d acted when they entered the apartment the day before pricked her conscience. “Why don’t you come back with me for one night?” she said. “I’ll even let you have the bed. I’ll drop you at your store in the morning, and tomorrow night we’ll stay here again.”
Autumn’s smile made her beautiful. “Okay. Thanks.”
Tawnia glanced at Bret to see if he would be tagging along to her bungalow, but he seemed to be riveted on Autumn. “How’s your arm, anyway?”
“Since they immobilized it, there’s almost no pain. Well, except at night, but that’s all.”
“Good.”
Autumn’s eyes grew wide. “That reminds me. Tawnia, we’ll have to do something about your arm for your date tomorrow.”
“My arm?” Oh, yeah. Orion would expect it to be wrapped.
“I have a brace, I think. At the Herb Shoppe. We can get it tomorrow.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Bret was staring at them both now, in turn, as he had when he’d first entered.
“Never mind!” Tawnia said before Autumn could speak. The last thing she needed was to have Bret know that she was stealing Autumn’s date.
“Her date just thinks she’s me,” Autumn told him, her grin wide. “It’s a long story.”
Tawnia squirmed as Bret’s eyes came to rest on her. “I have plenty of time,” he said. “I’d like to hear the story. It sounds interesting.”
Throwing up her hands, Tawnia went to pack her things, leaving the blabbermouth Autumn to explain.
Chapter 17
Tawnia’s mother rang Friday at noon, though Tawnia had been expecting the call much earlier. She was sitting at her desk with a homemade sandwich as she reviewed the accounts for her meetings that afternoon.
“Hi, it’s me,” her mother said. “This picture isn’t a joke, is it? I know you can do a lot of things with your computer.”
The truth was that Tawnia could have easily created such a picture, using two images of herself. More easily than her mother could guess. If she knew how easily, she wouldn’t believe in the picture for a moment. Fortunately, her mother knew little about the world of computer design. “It’s real. I tried to tell you.” Then because she was still so disturbed by the image herself, she pushed away her sandwich and asked, “Can you tell which is me?”
“One face is thinner,” her mother ventured, a note of disapproval entering her voice. “Too thin.”
“That’s Autumn. Her father died in the bridge collapse. He’s the one they haven’t found yet, if you’ve been following the story. She’s taking it hard, but she seems to be eating again.”
Usually, her mother would be quick to offer sympathy. Women were supposed to offer sympathy, and Ellen McKnight always did what she was supposed to do. That she didn’t now told Tawnia she was more shaken by the picture than she wanted to admit. “This is too unreal.”
“I know. That’s why I wanted to find out about my adoption. I mean, I know people can look alike, but this is too close.” Tawnia realized she’d gone to her mother in the hopes that she could fix her life. Hadn’t she always done just that? The right clothes, the right schools, the right words. Tawnia had rebelled against it all by leaving, but now what she craved more than anything else was for her mother to put things back to normal. Not to give her a hug, or love, but to make things normal. Make them into something Tawnia could count on.
“A woman brought you here,” her mother said quietly. “Mrs. Mendenhall—I still remember her name after all this time. She worked with the adoption agency. She was about my height but more sturdy in an athletic sort of way, with long hair that was beginning to show a bit of gray. She was a nice-looking woman and seemed well educated, but she wore a cheap suit that didn’t fit well—I suppose social work didn’t pay very well. You looked so tiny in her arms. You were barely over five pounds but healthy and strong. You grabbed my finger when I took you in my arms. We signed the papers, and then she left. Afterwards, your dad dropped her at the airport.” Her voice had become a whisper. “The agency was located in Portland.”
Tawnia caught her breath. This was more than she’d learned in all her growing-up years. During her teens, when she had romanticized her birth parents, she had pestered her mother as much as she’d dared for information, though never in the presence of her father. Her mother had told her a woman had brought her to them but hadn’t mentioned any of the rest. Not about Portland or the woman’s name. Portland meant she and Autumn had a greater chance at being related.
And now she knew why her mother had cried over her latest move.
Yet what remained in her mind was the reverent hush in her mother’s voice as she ta
lked about how her new baby had held onto her finger.
She swallowed hard. “What was the agency called?”
“I looked it up this morning in the adoption papers. It was Children’s Hope, and the birth certificate we have for you lists a clinic in Portland.”
Tawnia grabbed a pen and started writing. “Thank you.”
“I don’t know anything else. I didn’t want to know.” Her mother hesitated. “I guess I almost convinced myself that you weren’t adopted at all.”
Tawnia blinked at the tears threatening to spill over. “I have to find out what’s going on here, but that’s not going to change anything for us. I just have to know.” Could her mother detect the insincerity in her voice? Because things had already changed; Tawnia could no more leave Autumn now than she could quit breathing. Since arriving at work, she’d called Autumn twice at the antiques shop to make sure she was all right. The last time Autumn had laughed and said, “I promise to call you if anything happens. And no, I haven’t found BervaDee yet.”
“I understand,” her mother said. “I wish I could be there for you.”
“You do?” Why did this surprise her so much?
“I’ve always wanted what’s best for you.”
Well, Tawnia had known her mother wanted what was best for the family, but that wasn’t necessarily the same thing as wanting what was best for her.
“Thank you, Mom. Look, I have to go back to work now. My art director needs to talk with me.” Tawnia could see Kacey Murphy in one of her dark suits, waving at her from the narrow window by her doorway. She motioned for her to come in.
“By all means, go. I don’t want you to get fired.”
Tawnia gave a mental sigh. As the creative director, she was over Kacey, but of course her mother didn’t understand the company pyramid. “Good-bye. I’ll call you later.” It was a white lie, but no doubt they’d talk soon because her mother would call her instead.
“Hi, Kacey,” she called. “What’s up?”
“Mr. Lantis is here early for his meeting. I’ve got the preliminary billboard designs we’ve worked up. They’re looking good. Shanna outdid herself on the writing. But I have a few visual changes I wanted to run by you.” Kacey was pulling up a chair as she spoke. “I told Shanna to entertain Mr. Lantis for a minute in the conference room. She has donuts.”
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