by Lauren Dane
“Good. I don’t plan to give it up.”
She waved it away. “But it makes sense to talk about our boundaries. Because as I said, I’m looking for something long term and you’re not. So I think that we can continue with this until the attraction burns out and I’ll also keep looking. If you find yourself attracted to someone else, just let me know and I’ll step out of the way. There’s no reason why we can’t stay friends. We’re both adults. Both sexually liberated. Let’s enjoy our time and move on as friends when it’s over.”
His fork clattered to his plate and he saw red. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Language.”
“Fuck language, I’ve heard you curse a blue streak. In fact, I heard it about twenty minutes ago when you ordered me to eat your pussy.”
He should have been satisfied by her blush but he was too pissed off. “You think I should just service you while you look around for some man worthy of your forever, Liv? Is that what you’re saying? I’m good enough to fuck but not good enough to be with on Christmas?”
“What? Why are you being this way? You’re the one who has a flavor of the week on your arm. You’re the one who’s fucked every damned woman under thirty in this town.”
“Thirty-five.” The moment he said it he regretted it.
Her eyes narrowed and she put her fork down. “As you say, thirty-four, thirty-five in a month. In any case, you’re the one who has the love em and leave em lifestyle. I’ve told you up front what I’m looking for. I haven’t lied about that.”
“Stop being so sensitive about your age. God. It’s not a thing. And I told you up front that I’m wooing you. I want you, Liv. Not for the next week or two, but for the long haul. But if you don’t think I’m good enough, you should go now.”
“I never said that and I don’t think that. Where do you get this good enough crap anyway? When did I say any such thing? I’m trying to be sensible. You’re the one who nearly passed out when I said I wanted to get married.”
“That was months ago and before I told you I wanted to woo you. Before I worked my ass off to show you I was not the same person I used to be. You’ve changed me, Liv. And I know I’ve changed you. Don’t you fucking lie to yourself or me. The sex between us was spectacular. It wasn’t like that with Matt or Brody or any of the other men you’ve burned through. It didn’t work with any of them because you’re meant to be with me.”
She stood up and he did as well. “Burned through? Are you insinuating I’m a slut? Because pot, meet kettle.”
“Oh ho! I never said any such thing. Burned through, as in you dated them and it didn’t work out, you moved on to the next guy, same story. And are you saying I’m a slut?”
She closed her eyes and it looked like she was counting to herself. Suddenly his anger drained away and he wanted to laugh. Fear. She was afraid of what they had together and was spitting like a cat in a corner. He could handle that. He would have her in the end. He just needed to wait her out.
“I need to go before I say something I can’t take back. I value your friendship more than I value the orgasms you can give me. Yes, it was amazing, but not worth losing you over.”
She slid on her shoes and grabbed her bag but he didn’t miss the way her voice trembled when she spoke about losing him.
“I’m not finished. Let’s talk this out.”
“I am. I’ll see you Monday.”
“For heaven’s sake, Liv. You’re not going to lose me! This is a dumb fight because neither one of us is being totally honest. I want you. In bed and in my life. You want that too. I know you do.”
He saw confusion war with fear in her features.
He softened his voice. “At least let me drive you home so you don’t have to do the walk of shame through town. We can talk about this again soon, when you’ve got your thoughts together.”
The rigidity in her spine eased and he knew he’d won at least a small amount.
When he got her home, after they’d both ignored the heady scent of sex in his truck, he’d kissed her before she could scramble out the door. “I’m not going anywhere, Liv. Get it through your thick head. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
“Yes. My parents’ for dinner. Momma’s expecting you.”
“I never said I’d go!”
He chuckled. “This is Polly Chase. You never said you wouldn’t. When she told you she wanted to see you for dinner more often and you agreed, she took it that you were coming to dinner again tomorrow night.” He was so lying on his mother and he’d have to go deal with her right then. He knew though, that Polly would be on his side in this battle. Liv would fall and he’d be there to catch her.
Liv sighed. “Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She got out of the truck and he watched her until she’d gotten safely inside before heading over to his parents’ house.
Liv slumped into her house and moved straight to her bathroom. Turning on the taps of her great big old antique tub, she took her clothes off, trying to ignore Marc’s scent but it was impossible. Because it was on her skin. Under her skin. In her hair and brain, on her tongue.
With a groan, she went to make herself a cup of coffee, turning off the taps when the bath had filled. Minutes later, she sank into the water and sipped her coffee. She did her best thinking in her bathtub.
He said he wanted her for the long term. But was it just the sex talking? They were friends so did he feel more hindered, less able to give her the truth about how he felt?
And the sex. Oh man, it was way more than just sex. He’d seared her soul deep. Her body had responded to his in a way that satisfied her but scared the hell out of her at the same time. So dominant and sure of himself sexually, the allure of that was overwhelming.
Giving up control to him had been the most liberating thing she’d ever done. If she’d done that with Brody would they still be together? What about Matt? Did the men in her life leave because she was too much in control?
“I think too much,” she mumbled as she put down her empty cup of coffee and slid beneath the surface of the water. The silence surrounded her as the water embraced her body. It was just her and her insecurities and fears.
She sat up and wiped her eyes. Most people saw her as supremely confident and self assured but beneath that were the doubts. Maybe she wasn’t worthy of love. Maybe she wasn’t meant to be cherished. It was her, she was the reason they all left. What had she done to chase them away?
The tip of something very powerful had surfaced in her time with Marc and it scared the hell out of her. A man like Bill didn’t scare her. He was managed easily enough. Being in charge meant she controlled her feelings and he couldn’t hurt her. A man like Bill was who she needed to marry.
Wasn’t he?
Polly rolled out biscuits in the kitchen and smiled to herself as she waited while the other line rang. A ham baked in the oven, scalloped potatoes bubbled, peas with pearl onions next to that, and baked beans simmered on the stove.
“Hello?”
“Olivia, hon, how are you today? I was just calling to double check that you liked ham.”
Liv stuttered and it made Polly smile even more.
“Oh for dinner tonight? About that, I hadn’t really…”
“You are coming, aren’t you? I’ve made an awful lot of food and I’d be so disappointed if you didn’t come. You said you would last week or did I get it wrong? I’m getting old you know, sometimes I suppose I misunderstand but I was just thrilled you said you’d come.”
Liv sighed and Polly barely held back a laugh.
“Oh no, you didn’t misunderstand. Of course I’ll be there. I love ham. Can I bring anything?”
“Now you’re just insulting me. Just yourself, honey. See you tonight.” Polly hung up, chuckling to herself.
Her boy wanted Liv Davis, he’d have her. It helped that she and Edward adored Liv and she was already considered a member of the family. But what mattered to her most was another one of her
children realizing what it meant to love someone. Truly love her.
Liv was wary and Polly couldn’t blame the girl. After all, even Polly knew about Marc’s reputation and that had to scare any woman. And after the thing with Matt failing, Polly knew Liv’s heart would be wounded and she’d be careful of a man like Marc. And the girl had lost a lot in her life. Her mother at a young age, her sister had been a handful and her father had up and left to Florida ten years before. Aside from Maggie, Liv had been alone a lot.
Family meant everything to Polly and she’d pull out all the stops to make Liv part of theirs.
“The woman is diabolical,” Liv muttered as she pulled up next to the curb out front. She should have begged off, she knew that but it wasn’t in her to refuse Polly “the amazing steamroller” Chase.
Marc had sent her an email the evening before. She’d ducked his phone calls but curiosity made her read the email. He’d just been checking in on her and he repeated that he wanted her for the long term and that he wasn’t giving up or walking away.
She wanted to believe him but it scared her to contemplate trusting anyone that way. It was a huge risk. He was a huge risk. She’d be a fool to trust a man like Marc Chase when he said he wanted something long term.
He opened the front door and strolled down the front walk to meet her. She didn’t even have time to give a surprised squeak when he grabbed her and laid a hard, long kiss on her out there in front of God and the neighbors. Not that she resisted, it felt too good after all her thinking. Eased the tension of fear in her gut. Replaced it with warmth and a pulsing, simmering desire. Again with the pushing of her buttons.
“Good evening, Olivia. This is a lovely outfit. Is it new?” He stepped back, leaving her slightly breathless but keeping an arm around her waist. Which was a good thing because her knees were rubber. She couldn’t take her eyes off his thumb as it cruised over his bottom lip, clearing off her lipstick. She licked her lips in response and he got that wicked grin.
“Uh, yes. New. Just got it last week when I drove into Atlanta with Cassie for beads. Thank you.”
He escorted her into the house and before she could gather her wits, half the family saw him with his arm around her and her lips kiss-swollen.
“Well, it’s about time.” Maggie laughed and kissed Liv’s cheek. “Must have been some picnic. Don’t think I don’t know you’ve been ducking my calls. You’re going to tell me every last detail,” she murmured into Liv’s ear.
“Uh.”
Marc squeezed her, pulling her closer, and kissed her temple. “Everyone lay off. Miz Liv here is wary about me, and rightfully so. So if you rib her about this you’ll be making my job harder.”
Matt chuckled and kissed Liv’s forehead. “It’s going to be weird hearing all the details about my brother the way you shared about Brody. Although frankly, it’s a big step up for you.”
“Don’t patronize me, Matt Chase.” Liv narrowed her eyes at him and he chuckled more.
“Okay, sweet stuff. You got it. Although, you’re fun to patronize, you have to admit.”
“I’m gonna kick you in the junk,” Liv muttered and shook Marc off, heading toward Cassie who accepted a hug and a kiss on her cheek without comment.
“Let’s go into the sitting room and have a beer, shall we?” Maggie said brightly. “Well, you all can have a beer and I’ll have a root beer.” She sent a dark look back at the brothers gathered behind them. “No boys allowed.”
Marc walked up and kissed her again, bold as you please before heading into the living room with his brothers to watch whatever game was on the nine hundred channels’ worth of sports Edward had.
“Well! Okay, come on.” Cassie pulled Liv into the sitting room. “Before Polly gets in here, she’s on the phone, spill!”
Liv cracked open a beer and took several long swallows before tossing herself into a chair. “I am so in trouble.”
Maggie laughed. “Looks like the best kind of trouble.”
Liv told them about the picnic and afterward, ending with their fight the morning before.
“Give him a chance. What have you got to lose?” Cassie sat back, one eyebrow raised.
“My heart.”
Maggie waved a hand around. “Olivia Jean, if you don’t think I can’t see you’ve already lost it, you’re out of your mind. We’ve been friends a very long time. We’ve been through a whole lot together and you’ve been there for me when things were so dark I wasn’t sure if I’d survive. Why don’t you let me be the one supporting you for a change, okay?
“I can see it on your face, can hear it in your voice. You have deep feelings for Marc. It’s way more than sex. You’re falling in love with him. Why resist?”
“Look what happened when I didn’t resist Matt.”
Cassie sighed. “I wasn’t here for that so I can’t say what it was like for you at the time but I’ve seen both of you since and Liv, while you have occasionally looked like you wanted to take a bite out of Matt, and who doesn’t, the boy has a set of abs that makes me all tingly every time he parades around shirtless in those damned cutoffs. You know, the ones that hang a bit low on his hips so his belly shows all the way down to…oh, well where was I?”
Maggie burst out laughing and Liv joined her.
“Oh yeah, so anyway, you haven’t been pining for Matt. You’ve been pining to belong to something bigger than yourself. And heaven knows I felt that way too. But Marc? The way you talk about him, the way he looks at you, touches you, Liv, you’re not alone in your feelings. He may be, have been, a huge flirt and skirt chaser, but he’s honest. I’ve never known him to be deliberately hurtful and I’ve never heard a single one of the women he’s dated say one negative thing about him. And you’re a goner already. You’re in love with Marc. It’s not like you can unlove him. Give the guy a chance already.”
“Oh for cripes’ sake! I just had sex with him one time. Okay, uh,” she paused, thinking, “five, no six times. But still, that doesn’t equal love. I have plans. I’m not going to give up on my plans for the future because I had some awesome sex. I have a date with Rancher Bill next week. I’m moving forward.”
Maggie just shook her head. “You’re a hard headed woman, Liv. Always have been. I hope you know Marc isn’t just going to let you run things.”
“I’ve noticed his tendency to be domineering, yes. But he doesn’t get to run me. I’ve given him my terms. He can accept them or not.”
Marc smiled as she tried to maintain her distance from him at dinner. His mother had placed the two of them side by side so she couldn’t avoid that. The whole family had just accepted her as his girlfriend no matter what she tried to say and she’d finally let it go in frustration.
“You know, if you gave her the illusion of cooperativeness with this so-called plan of hers, you’d probably sneak in past her defenses.” Edward took a sip of wine when Marc came back inside after he’d laid one hell of a good bye kiss on Liv at her car.
Marc loved the difference between his parents. Polly just spoke whenever a thought occurred to her, good or bad. But Edward didn’t waste words so when he said something, Marc always listened.
“Go on, Daddy,” Marc urged as he rocked back and forth in the old rocker near the fireplace. His brothers were sprawled through the room, all listening to their father.
“I see a lot of people in tense situations. A hazard of the job I suppose. But in the thirty-nine years I’ve been doing this, I’ve learned a lot about people when they’re feeling threatened or are emotionally exhausted. They fight anything and anyone that offers a real depth of feeling or experience. Because it’s frightening to give yourself to something bigger than you are. So they resist and resist and drive people away. Liv is the kind of woman who knows what she wants. In theory.”
“I think she knows, Daddy. And I want to give it to her. She wants a white picket fence and a couple of kids, marriage, a mortgage. I’ve never wanted any of that stuff and she makes me want it with her. What I don’t
know is how to get her past her fears that I’m not real.”
“What I mean, Marc, is that wanting marriage and love and a family is one thing. But truly opening yourself up to those things is another. In order to really love someone, you have to make yourself very vulnerable. So she’s loved people who haven’t been capable of loving her back in the way she deserves. It’s sort of a self-defeating cycle but certainly not unique. It ensures her hurt, yes, but not the depth of hurt she’d suffer if she truly loved any of these men. And I don’t mean to be hurtful, Matthew, but you’re the same way. You seek these women who you know on some level aren’t right so you don’t have to risk truly loving anyone and getting your heart broken.
“If something is worth having, it’s worth losing. But that’s scary. You’re a brave man, Marc. You’re in love with her, aren’t you?” Edward stared at his son with perceptive eyes.
Marc sighed and nodded. “I realized it Friday night. I’ve always liked her, thought she was pretty and funny, smart, successful. All the things I admire in a woman. But I think the love thing has been growing as I got to know her better. I’m sorry, Matt, I hope this is okay with you.”
Matt shrugged. “It hurts a little. But really only because I couldn’t feel what you do for her. She deserves to be loved and I know you’ll treat her right. I want that too, you know, I really do. I just haven’t met the right woman yet.”
“You will.” Edward winked at Matt before turning back to Marc. “So here’s what I think about you and the lovely Ms. Davis. You say she’s got this plan to find Mr. Forever?”
Marc snorted and nodded. “I am that guy!”
“Of course you are, son. And she knows that too. I saw the way she looked at you, the way she responded to your touch. But as I said, she’s afraid to really risk herself so she’ll want to pursue the easy man who’ll never challenge her and try and keep you out of her heart. Let her.” Edward put a hand up to silence Marc. “Let me finish. Let her go out with these bland men in her search. She’s not going to find anyone, because you’re it. And in the meantime, you get right under her defenses and by the time she figures it out, it’s too late. You have nothing to fear from the likes of Bill and other men like him. Liv Davis needs to be taken in hand. Your momma needed that too.”