Between the Lines

by KD Williamson

  She stood and opened a window, hoping for a semi-cool breeze. Instead, she was hit by a wave of warmth and the smell of recent rain, which made things even more unpleasant. Everyone suffered in New Orleans in July. Sweat gathered at the back of her neck. A cold shower would probably relax her enough to fall asleep, fix-it fic be damned, but she didn’t move from the window. She peered outside. Working streetlights were few and far between on St. Roch, which was smack-dab in the Seventh Ward, but that didn’t keep the few stragglers away.

  Forget New York, for Haley, this was the city that never slept—a large chunk of it, anyway. She had been coming here since she was a child. It had been her second home, and now it was her primary one. New Orleans wasn’t the same city it was pre-Katrina. Crime rates were soaring, but Haley refused to let that hold her back. After seventeen weeks of training, she was now one of the officers in charge of protecting this city. The whole process would have been harder if Nate and Jen hadn’t been there to anchor her.

  Was she going to save the world by becoming a police officer? Or at least New Orleans? Hell. No. Haley was a realist. She was no super cop, and after a month on the force, she knew she wasn’t even a super rookie. But it was the little things that were most important to her. In time, by dragging away the deadweight that kept this city down, she had the chance to give the community back to the people who deserved it most, to the families struggling for a decent existence. She wanted to help people, especially the community she’d fallen in love with so long ago.

  Haley groaned. Thinking about work brought up her partner. Was he an ass for real or was he was just acting the part? Using her arm to wipe away the sweat about to dribble down her face, she decided on that cold shower after all. Haley stepped back from the window and closed it. There was no point letting in more stagnant air. She glanced over her shoulder. The game had switched to the main title screen. She scoffed at it and moved back toward the couch, then reached for the Xbox controller and turned the whole system off. Game time was over for now. Well, maybe. Haley picked up her phone and plugged it into the wall charger. Sure, it was late. She scrolled through her contacts and picked one anyway. Somebody would answer her call. Haley wouldn’t mind getting dirty again after her shower.

  Chapter 3

  Tonya turned up the volume on the radio as she started over the Causeway. For the next twenty-three miles, the waters of Lake Ponchartrain surrounded her on all sides. At first glance, it looked kind of scary with only two narrow bridges in the middle of an expansive lake. For Tonya, it was like being the only person on an island. Even though other cars were beside, behind, and in front of her, they were all strangers she couldn’t touch or speak to. Solitude turned to loneliness at times, but she was used to feeling that way, even around those who cared for her.

  Several miles in front of her, a humidity-induced haze hung over the Northshore, the most convenient entrance into St. Tammany Parish. The outline of Mandeville was distinctive. It lacked the jutting, harsh landscape created by the high-rises that were prevalent in the Orleans Parish skyline. Farther on, past Mandeville into Covington, there were simply trees, the highway, and the occasional business, before she’d hit the more residential areas. Just the way she liked it.

  It was quite the daily commute since it usually turned into an hour or more, but she enjoyed the peace the drive brought her. As her BMW 328i ate up the miles, she shed her professional persona, allowing for deeper personal introspection. Tonya wasn’t naïve enough to think she could mask “the doctor” completely, but she had definitely learned, through the years, to dial things back. She had a tendency to scare people if she didn’t. Tonya smiled. There was some part of her that enjoyed the look on peoples’ faces, whether it was in the black or white community, when she revealed that she was a shrink. She couldn’t believe there were people who still thought of her profession in a negative light.

  The truth of the matter was, she didn’t go around analyzing, diagnosing, and dispensing advice. Well, she tried not to, since it was entirely too much work. The little voice in her head derided Tonya, reminding her that she didn’t have much of a life outside of the hospital anyway, so she might as well hone her skills and utilize her education around the clock. “Shut up.” Tonya slammed the door on those thoughts and turned the radio up even louder. She started to sing along, rather badly, to a Justin Timberlake tune, but the volume of the music automatically lowered as a call came through. Tonya answered it immediately.

  “What are you doing?” Stephanie asked.

  “Driving.”

  “How far away are you?”

  “At least ten minutes onto the Causeway. Why?”

  “You should turn around and meet me for drinks. I’m bored, and do you really just want to go home? Don’t you need a break in the monotony? If I’m bored, hell, you have to be comatose. We can even go somewhere lesbian-friendly. Let’s do Good Friends. Old queens and show tunes? I’m in.”

  The request was tempting for all of ten seconds. “It’s a work night. You know how I feel about that.” Tonya cringed, realizing she’d just fed into Stephanie’s argument.

  “See. That’s what I mean. It doesn’t have to be the weekend for us to go out together. I’m a grown-ass woman. Nobody’s gonna tell on me. Nobody’s gonna tell on you either.”

  Tonya switched lanes. Stephanie sounded truly irritated. There had to be more to this.

  “None of your other friends were free.” Tonya’s tone was playful and a little accusatory.

  Stephanie paused. Then she chuckled. “Shut up. I hate you.”

  “Yes, you’ve completely changed my mind now. I’ll be there in thirty,” Tonya deadpanned.

  For a few seconds, Stephanie didn’t say a word. “You’re not being serious, are you?”

  “No!”

  “Don’t yell at me. I was just checking. Can’t tell with you sometimes, especially over the phone.”

  “And what is that supposed to mean?”

  Stephanie laughed. “You’re dry like a fine wine?”

  Tonya chuckled. “Good save.”

  “I thought so. Tsk, sometimes I really don’t understand why we get along so well. I mean, we’re total opposites.”

  “I would think it’s obvious by now,” Tonya said.

  “What? You keep me from getting pissy drunk and phenomenally stupid, and I make you laugh?” Stephanie asked.

  Tonya smiled. “That’s an interesting way to put it, but more or less, yes.”

  “It’s good that you can let go a little sometimes, but that doesn’t keep me from worrying about you.”

  Tonya resisted the sudden urge to make up an incoming call. She’d just gotten out of her own head. She had no intention of going back in, even for a friend. “Steph—”

  “I know. Just bear with me. In our field, you and I both know that it’s good to have a sounding board. You’re definitely that for me. I know. I know you like to keep things professional at work, and trust me when I say I understand that. But we’ve known each other for almost a year, and sometimes I really do feel like I’m just that crazy bitch you have drinks with.”

  For a moment, Tonya was speechless. Stephanie meant a lot to her. When Stephanie first started at the hospital, she’d instantly treated Tonya with respect as her boss, but she’d seen the person too. Tonya had gravitated toward that both on the job and off. “You’re more than that. You have to know that by now. Why are you questioning it?”

  Stephanie sighed. “Look, I’m sorry for laying all this on you right now, but I guess it’s as good a time as any. Maybe I should have waited and said this face-to-face, but… You don’t ever feel like things are one-sided?”

  “No. Why? Where is all this coming from?”

  “It’s just that I come to you for just about everything, and you just,” Stephanie paused. “You don’t talk to me.”

  “Yes, I do.” Tonya didn’t want to take this sudden heaviness across the water with her. Instead, she pulled over into one of the turnaround
s.

  “Well, you did tell me you were a lesbian, but I have the feeling that was easy information for you to offer. You’re settled into it, but as far as your love life goes—”

  “I don’t have a love life.” Tonya sighed and closed her eyes. “It’s complicated.”

  It really wasn’t, but at this moment in time, she was fine with that. Although, she did miss sex. There had been times when at least that part had ranged from pretty decent to good. For her, though, relationships had been few and far between, and it wasn’t just because most of the women she’d dated were lukewarm to begin with. In addition to the lack of sparks between them, they hadn’t cared to be her dirty little secret. Tonya let her father wear blinders, and because she had a responsibility to her family, she didn’t rock the boat. The Prestons were a small microcosm of don’t ask, don’t tell.

  “Anyway, let’s not forget the way you talk at me about your sister and your daddy. You talk about them like you’re on the outside looking in or something. I don’t think I really started to notice until your mom died. Tonya, I didn’t even know she was sick.”

  The subject of her mother was a sensitive one. It felt like yesterday instead of eight months ago. “That’s because there was a chance the experimental drugs were going to work. There was no point—”

  “Jesus, sweetie. Do you hear yourself? Everything is so clinical. You can’t be the doctor—”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt this way.” Tonya cut her off, hoping the statement was personalized enough for her. Stephanie’s words were way too similar to her sister’s comment about Dr. Preston. Her whole body stiffened, and she sat ramrod-straight, despite the comfort of the leather seats behind her.

  “I’m sorry too. I feel like I threw my emotions up all over you. I wasn’t trying to sound shitty or ungrateful for what we do have. I just want to make sure I’m doing right by you. This isn’t a movie. I don’t want to be the sassy, one-dimensional black friend.”

  A warmth settled over Tonya, making her feel cozy and comfortable. A big part of her was grateful for Stephanie’s emoting. A smaller part of her wondered if she had it in her to give what Stephanie was asking for. At the end of the day, it was easy to listen and laugh, but it was a whole different category of things to give of herself. “I’ll try, and I’ll trust you to let me know how I’m doing?”

  “Yeah, deal.” The smile came through in Stephanie’s voice.

  “And one more thing,” Tonya said.

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re not black. Not even a little bit.” In fact, she was blond, perky, and looked like a cheerleader.

  “True, but that’s such a minor thing,” Stephanie said airily.

  “Is it?” Tonya laughed, relaxed, and put the car in Reverse. As she waited to get back into traffic, Tonya looked out at Lake Ponchartrain. The water, greenish-brown in hue, was barely moving at all. It was serene, relaxing.

  “Yes, it is in the scheme of things. I’m letting you go, but Good Friends on Friday?”

  Tonya didn’t hesitate. “Good Friends on Friday.”

  “And maybe you’ll go with me again to torture myself at Oz? I love making it rain even if most of the guys are gay.”

  “We’ll see.”

  “Uh-huh. See you in the morning.”

  * * *

  Thirty minutes later, Tonya pulled her vehicle into her attached, two-car garage, which was one of the reasons she’d bought the house. The other was the wraparound porch. As she got out, a barrage of delectable smells hit her; her father was cooking. It was a passion of his, and now that he was home daily, he flexed his culinary muscles all the time. For a man in his mid sixties, he was very spry. The house was always clean, and the yard meticulous. It was his way of contributing and showing that he cared. Maybe it was even his way of atoning. He didn’t have to. Wasn’t it a child’s job to look after her parents as they aged? Though in Tonya’s case, her role had always been to take care of everyone, whether she wanted to or not.

  Tonya opened the door that led directly to the kitchen and pasted a smile on her face. Her father looked up from the huge pot on the stove. Other than that, the kitchen was spotless like she’d known it would be. Dark granite countertops gleamed, as did all the stainless-steel appliances.

  He smiled right back and lifted a spoon toward her with his hand underneath as a guard to keep it from spilling. “Hey, my baby. Here, taste this. I think it’s the best barbecue shrimp I’ve ever made.”

  All that butter was going to require some additional time at the gym in the morning. Tonya moved forward, blew on the broth, and sipped. Her taste buds did a little dance. “Oh God.”

  “See. Told you. I added a little extra butter, garlic, and some tarragon, along with the regular stuff.” Robert Preston’s brown eyes sparkled with pride, adding to already handsome features complemented by dimples and an always bright smile.

  Her father refilled the spoon and brought it to his own lips. He spilled some down his chin onto his goatee and wiped it away with the back of his hand. “Just call me the black Emeril, baby girl.” He winked.

  Tonya chuckled and patted him on the shoulder as she moved away, even though it felt awkward to do so.

  “Fix me a cold drink.”

  Without a word, she pulled a glass from the cabinet and got a can of Sprite from the refrigerator.

  “I was gone do crawfish, but the shrimp at Rouses looked too nice to pass up.”

  “A crawfish boil during the week?” Tonya asked.

  “Talked to your sister. We’re celebrating her job offer. I got some nice wine, and the French bread is soft. She can be here in spirit.”

  “Oh.”

  The word hung in the air.

  Robert turned and gazed at her as he reached for his drink. Tonya gave it to him.

  “You don’t sound too excited. I thought you’d be proud of her.”

  “I am. I spoke to her this morning.” Tonya swallowed down the hundred other things she could have said about Tracy and her chronic indecisiveness, knowing she had to pick her battles. Better yet, pretend like those battles weren’t even there. It was her family’s superpower, after all. She gave him a wide smile because that seemed to always work.

  “Good. She wants to do right by you ’specially since it’s on your dime.” He grinned, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

  Tonya’s stomach roiled. She hated when he talked like that. It seemed passive aggressive. Yes, she’d paid her sister’s way through college. Yes, she was in the process of taking care of her mother’s leftover medical bills. Thank goodness for wise investments and her ability to save. She’d bought this house when she got her first real job. Shortly after that, her parents had lost everything. She took care of them when her father could not. It used to rankle her, but Tonya had come to grips with that reality a long time ago.

  Tonya stood there staring at the back of his shiny, bald head. Sometimes his mere presence made her uncomfortable. She didn’t like feeling that way in her own home, but Tonya knew being tethered to her family could be a somewhat positive experience one minute and a negative one the next. Maybe some good stuff was right around the corner. If so, why did she suddenly wish she had turned around to have that drink with Stephanie?

  * * *

  Brenda closed the distance between them. “Don’t chu wanna know what it feels like?

  Tonya couldn’t breathe. “What if somebody sees us?” She looked behind them cautiously, then glanced over her shoulder. There was nobody there, but still.

  “They won’t,” Brenda promised.

  They stood in the space between Brenda’s home and the neighbor’s, which was an odd place to be. But Brenda’s brother was a pain, and her backyard was too open. The narrow strip of dirt was just wide enough to fit them comfortably and close enough to offer some privacy, especially toward the middle. Tonya had always thought it was strange that the houses were so close together, but today, she didn’t question it. She was just thankful. Plus, it w
as a minor miracle that she’d been able to get out of the house.

  Brenda pressed her against the siding; it was warm and smooth against Tonya’s shoulders. Tonya’s stomach knotted, and she felt hot all over. She closed her eyes. The first brush of Brenda’s lips was soft and tentative.

  Tonya whimpered. She didn’t know what she had been expecting, but it wasn’t for her body to catch fire in a mess of teenage hormones.

  Brenda ended the kiss. Tonya opened her eyes. Brenda looked surprised. “Boys…don’t feel like dis.”

  Tonya nodded. She had nothing to compare their encounter to.

  Brenda put some distance between them, and before Tonya knew what was happening, Brenda palmed her breast. She arched forward, and this time when their lips met, it was sloppy and wet.

  “Ohhh, what y’all doin! I’m tellin’ Mama!”

  They jumped apart. Tonya was breathing hard, and Brenda was as well. Before she could speak, Brenda ran toward the front of her house to her brother, who was laughing loudly.

  This wasn’t funny.

  She stood there, frozen. Time dragged. When Brenda finally came back, her chest was heaving, and tears were streaming down her face.

  Tonya gasped as an icy bolt of fear plunged into her stomach.

  “You have to go. He told Mama!”

  It was then that Tonya saw the red handprint on the side of Brenda’s face. She reached out, but Brenda batted her hands away. “Go! I think she’s gonna call your daddy.”

  Those words shredded her completely. Tonya sobbed. Each intake of breath hurt like nothing she’d ever experienced.