by Janey Fraser
‘Don’t go into work, Daddy.’ Her voice was thick with tears. ‘I don’t want anyone else looking after me. That’s why I made them go away. I just want you to stay at home and look after me like you did before.’
‘But if I don’t go out to work, who would pay the bills and make sure we had enough money to buy food?’
‘We could just have alphabet spaghetti.’ Lottie looked up at him, her face a bit brighter and more hopeful. ‘Or we could move to a little house by the sea.’
It was laughable yet maybe she had a point. That might be the answer. Find a job with more flexible hours and downsize houses.
But not right now. He owed it to James to work out his notice. ‘Maybe, princess.’
Her face was shining through the tears. ‘Today? Can we move to the seaside today?’
How was it that a child of eight could be so guileless and yet so cunning at the same time? ‘Not today but one day.’
Her face fell. ‘You always say that and then it never happens.’
He’d remembered thinking the same himself at that age. ‘I promise, Lottie. In fact, I’ll ring up the office and say that I need to work from home today. Then I’ll be able to collect you from school. OK?’
Lottie leaped off his lap and did a little dance. He had a vision of Sally buying her a pair of ballet shoes for her first class at the age of four. ‘Thank you, Daddy.’
‘But you must realise, Lottie,’ he said in a graver voice, ‘that stealing is wrong. You must never do that again.’
‘I won’t, I won’t.’ She was still dancing round the room, her eyes shining. He felt troubled. Had she just wound him round her little finger without him realising?
‘I have to go on working for a few more months,’ he continued firmly. ‘And while I’m doing that, we’re going to have another au pair. She’s called Jan. And she’s coming after school today.’
Lottie stopped dancing. ‘Not another.’
‘It’s only for a short time, I promise.
There was a pout. ‘Why?’
‘Because. That’s why.’
Her face grew sulky. ‘That’s what Mummy used to say.’
He felt a brief flash of compassion for his dead wife.
‘I could go back to Paula’s. I don’t mind her oh pear. She doesn’t have to live in our house with us, does she, Daddy? And she’s always on the phone so we can do what we like.’
Matthew didn’t like the sound of that but there was no time to argue. He needed to text James to say he wouldn’t be able to make that meeting after all – it meant feigning sickness for the first time in his life – and then he had to get Lottie into school.
Right. Everything was ready for Jan. Her room was ready. Lottie had been told she had to behave this time.
Ding dong. The bell! She was here on time, exactly as she’d promised Karen. He felt rather bad that they hadn’t even spoken on the phone but every time he’d called for a ‘welcome’ chat, it had just rung and rung without even an answerphone. Besides, Karen had said Jan sounded perfect and he trusted her judgement.
‘Hi!’
A tall, blond youth stood on the doorstep with a large rucksack on his back. His handshake was firm. Very firm. ‘It is very gud to meet your acquaintance.’
Jan? Jan was a man? A Dutchman?
‘I’m sorry. I think there’s been a mistake. I was expecting a girl.’
The youth’s face dropped. ‘You do not read my details?’
‘Well yes, sort of. But I’ve been really busy and I must have missed something.’
Something rather important, clearly, Matthew added silently to himself. ‘I’m sorry but I have a little girl. It wouldn’t be right. I mean …’
Oh God. Was this going to get him into trouble with the agency. Was there some kind of law against refusing male au pairs? Even if there was, he simply couldn’t have a man looking after Lottie. How could he allow a bloke to wash her, make sure she’d cleaned her teeth, tuck her up in bed?
‘I am always being rejected because of sex.’ The youth was already picking up his rucksack and walking down the path, his head bowed.
Shit. This looked like another awkward call to the agency.
‘Sure,’ said Paula, checking her thick brown diary which seemed to have ‘Pilates’ and ‘Course Circuits’ scrawled on every page. ‘I can have her this week. But then I’m going away on a yoga course and my husband is in Singapore. I don’t really want my au pair to have another child to look after so I can’t help you after that, I’m afraid.’
‘Fair enough.’ Matthew felt a stab of panic. Lottie would just have to go to the after-school club until 6 p.m. and then he’d leave work early. James would love that.
‘Thanks,’ he added. ‘I’m really grateful.’
‘Must dash.’ Paula clearly didn’t want to talk. ‘I’m late for my spinning class.’
The call to the agency didn’t go so well. ‘Genevieve has been in floods of tears,’ said the crisp woman at the other end of the phone. ‘She says you accused her of being a thief.’
‘I’m so sorry. There appears to have been a mistake.’ Matthew felt his skin crawl with embarrassment. ‘My daughter was playing a game with money, you see, and she hid it without me realising.’
‘Do you know how serious this is? I have a duty of care towards my girls and now I need to find her a home.’
‘She could come back here if she likes. In fact, I was going to ask if she’d consider that. Just for a few weeks.’
‘I’m afraid not, Mr Evans. Genevieve says she never wants to see you or your daughter again and I can understand that. As for Jan, I told your secretary quite clearly that he was a man. All things considered, I’m afraid I am going to take you off our books. If you read our original contract, you will see that I am entitled to do this under “extenuating circumstances” and that your deposit will not be returned. Goodbye.’
Karen knew? How peculiar! But that still didn’t take away the problem of what he was going to do now. Even if he did sign on with another agency, it was unlikely they’d find him a girl by Monday (he knew how these things worked now). And he’d already taken his full quota of holidays. Despite those brave words about handing in his notice, Matthew still hadn’t got round to it. How would he pay the mortgage and bills without a salary? Maybe he’d wait another month or two …
The next few days were manic. It was back to the old routine of getting Lottie up early, finding every item of school uniform that seemed to have scattered themselves round the house (had she done that on purpose to try and get out of going?) and then dropping her off at Paula’s by 7.30 a.m. so he could get to the office on time before explaining to James that yes, he was sorry but he did have to leave work early again as after-school club ended at 6 p.m.
‘Not great, is it?’
No it wasn’t. James had been more than generous with his compassionate leave. The condition had been that he would come back to work afterwards. And now he kept letting his friend and partner down.
‘I’m so sorry.’ He bit his lip. ‘I thought that an au pair would solve all my problems – well, some of them. But they don’t seem to have worked out.’ He laughed nervously. ‘I’m beginning to wonder if it’s me and not them! All I want is to do the best for Lottie. It’s not easy when you have kids.’
James’s face, which had been sympathetic until the last sentence, moved away and stood by the window. His voice came out cracked and flat. ‘And if you’d tried as long as we have to get pregnant, you’d understand how upsetting it is. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is when the parent brigade accuse you of not understanding this or not understanding that if you don’t have kids?’ He put his hand up as though wiping away a tear. ‘You’re lucky to have one. So quit moaning, will you?’
James and his wife had been trying to get pregnant? But he’d assumed they hadn’t wanted any. His friend was right too. He was lucky to have Lottie. Incredibly lucky. Moving to James’s side, he gave him a manly pat on the
back. ‘I’m so sorry. I had no idea.’
James stepped away, looking at Matthew coldly. ‘That’s just it. You think you’re the only one with problems, don’t you?’
Matthew felt as though James had stabbed him in the chest. But once more, his words struck a chord. Did his partner have a point? Was he, as Christina had already suggested, self-centred? Thinking only of his own problems instead of standing in other people’s shoes?
He left James’s office, deep in reflection and determined to rethink his attitude. As a result, he tried very hard to be understanding with Karen when she apologised effusively for the ‘Jan’ mix-up. ‘I’m really sorry, Matt. I thought I’d explained he was a man.’ She touched his arm briefly. ‘I must admit that I also thought he might be easier than some of these silly girls you’ve been having.’
He gave a wry smile. ‘You may be right. Perhaps I’m just old-fashioned, but I don’t like the idea of a male au pair looking after my daughter.’
Not long after that, Matthew found himself next to a tall, blondish, kind-looking mother at the end of after-school club. He’d seen her before with twins and wondered how she’d managed.
‘Hi. How are you doing?’ She flashed him a sympathetic smile that he’d learned to recognise over the year. ‘I’m Jilly. I knew Sally. Not very well but we used to chat.’ She gave him another warm smile and Matthew found himself liking this woman.
‘Thank you.’
‘How are you getting on?’
Somehow he found himself telling her all about the au pairs who had been driven out of the house and how Lottie hated them, and then, with a deep breath, about Sozzy.
Her eyes filled with tears. ‘I heard about that. It must have been awful for you. I run an au pair agency myself – we’re still quite new actually – so it sent shivers all down me. It could happen to any of us. These girls come over here, most of them fairly naive, and then they can walk into all kinds of difficult situations. If you want, I’ll put you on my list but, to be honest, I’ve got more families than girls. Still, you never know.’
‘Thanks but I think we’ll give up on the au pair front. We’ll manage somehow.’
‘Really?’
No, he wanted to say. Not really. Yet he had to face it. Au pairs weren’t for him and Lottie.
He’d just have to think of something else. But what?
EMAIL FROM JILLY’S AU PAIR AGENCY
Polite reminder to host families! Placement fees are now due two weeks before your au pair arrives.
Chapter 22
FORTUNATELY, FAT EEMA’S dramatic stomach pains had turned out to be a case of Braxton Hicks.
Her mother had snorted, the way she always did when irritated. ‘More like over-eating pains, if you ask me! I’m beginning to agree with David. As soon as she’s had this baby, we need to find her a job. And somewhere else to live.’
Perhaps, thought Jilly, it was time for another conversation with their uninvited guest. The Turkish one, that was. Not Mum. Now where was she? Silly question. By the fridge, of course.
‘Fat Eema,’ she began. ‘I mean Fatima.’
There was a chomping noise and then a large burp as their guest emerged into view with a breadstick in one hand and a pot of yoghurt in the other. ‘Yes, Jee-lee.’
‘Shall we sit down for a bit?’
The floor shook as Fatima heaved herself down with much groaning, her hands on her enormous stomach as though to protect it. ‘Although we like having you here,’ began Jilly, ‘we feel it might be best if you went back to your family. Yes, I know you say your father would be cross but supposing I had a word with him on your behalf?’
Fatima’s big brown eyes were huge with terror. ‘You cannot do that. Or he will murder his brother. And my aunt and my cousins, they will be destitute.’
Jilly frowned. ‘I don’t understand.’
Fatima clutched her hand so tightly that it hurt. Then she looked around as though someone might be listening. ‘My uncle,’ she hissed in a stage whisper, ‘he take advantage of me.’
Oh my God! Jilly felt sick. You heard about these things happening but it was hard to believe they really occurred in a so-called civilised country.
‘My father too. He does the same. Since I am twelve years old.’
This was horrendous! No wonder she disliked men so much. ‘Does your mother know?’
Fatima nodded. ‘Naturally. But she cannot do anything. No one can. This is why I run away.’ Her clutch on Jilly’s arm tightened. ‘Please. Do not make me leave you. I do not know where to go.’
Jilly’s mouth was dry. ‘Of course we won’t. You can stay here. But we do need to make some enquiries.’
Fatima’s forehead was beaded with perspiration. ‘What kind of enquiries?’
‘We need to find out what benefits you’re entitled to, if any, and how long you’re allowed to stay here.’
‘Thank you.’ Before she knew it, Jilly was being clasped in a heavy, sweaty embrace. ‘You are angel, Jee-lee. I will never forget this.’
Mum came up trumps when she filled her in. ‘Poor girl. Mind you, it’s not the first time I’ve heard of stories like this. Leave it to me. I’ll do the research. You’ve got enough on your plate. Now did you see that email I sent out about placement fees?’
She had! Thanks to Mum’s business expertise, Jilly’s
Au Pair Agency was actually beginning to make money! Anyone who was late with paying up front, received some stiff phone calls. ‘I tell them I’m your PA. That is all right, isn’t it, dear? It’s easier for me to get heavy with them as I don’t know them through school like you.’
It wasn’t just the outstanding cheques that Jilly’s mother sorted out. She was also an amazing networker. ‘Your demand is exceeding your supply, isn’t it? Now let’s see.’
She whipped out her iPhone and began scrolling down her contacts. ‘There’s Helga who used to be my co-director. She lives in Switzerland now so she’s bound to know some girls who need jobs in a boring little safe town like Corrywood. Then there’s Erika, my German designer from the seventies. She knows everyone who’s worth knowing in Berlin. And of course, there’s Suzette in Paris. Remember her? She fed you Smarties to keep you quiet when you came into the office during school holidays. Now you go and pick up the boys from school and I’ll email this lot. By the way, I’m going to use my own laptop instead of your computer – I can’t think how you manage with yours. It’s so slow.’
‘Thanks.’ Jilly hesitated. ‘I’m really grateful for your help.’
Her mother was already typing away. ‘What did you say?’
It was just like being a child again when she’d attempt to talk to her mother but not get a reply out of her because she was working. Yet now this was her own home, and Mum, though trying to help, was effectively ousting her from her own job!
‘Mum, I’m very grateful for all this but I just wondered how long you’re going to be staying.’
‘For as long as you want.’ The voice was dangerously crisp.
‘Won’t Dad want you back soon?’
There was a short laugh. ‘Not if he’s found other things to amuse him.’
Jilly felt a stab of alarm. ‘Nothing’s wrong, is it? I mean, I know Dad can be a bit … well, rather friendly with other women but he doesn’t mean anything by it, does he? It’s just part of him.’
‘Is that so?’ Her mother’s voice had a slightly cracked edge to it now. If Jilly didn’t know better, she would have thought Mum was about to cry. But her mother didn’t do tears. Not even when Jeremy had gone away to school at the age of seven in short trousers and a puzzled look on his face.
‘Actually, Jilly, I’ve decided to stay here for a little longer, if you don’t mind. Give your father a bit of space and make him see what he’s missing.’
Stay here? She felt another flash of alarm. Having your mother to stay for a few weeks to see the grandchildren and sort out your business was one thing but ‘a little longer’ sounded ominous.
*
Hah! Nothing, it seemed, could please David at the moment. ‘What do you mean your mother doesn’t know when she’s leaving?’ he had demanded when she’d told him in a whisper that night in bed.
‘I think she and Dad are having problems,’ she had whispered back.
‘Join the gang.’
‘What do you mean?’
He turned to face her in the darkness. ‘Well, let’s face it, Jilly. Things aren’t that great between us either, are they? I’m working my socks off to try and bring the bacon in but when I come back, I never see you any more because you’re always on the phone sorting out some crisis or glued to your emails. And now your mother has virtually moved in.’
‘You were the one who rang her in the first place!’
‘Only because I thought she might make you see sense. I didn’t expect her to take up residence. Then there’s Fatima. I know it’s a dreadful situation but it’s not our problem …’
‘David, we’ve been through this. She needs us!’
‘So do the kids! You let Nick go out during a school night last week.’
‘I didn’t let him. He insisted and I couldn’t stop him. You were still out.’
‘Couldn’t stop him? Who’s the parent here? And what about the twins? You spent half their birthday party on the phone!’
‘Aren’t you ever going to let that one go?’
‘All I’m saying, Jilly, is that this isn’t working.’
There was a sound on the other side of the wall which suggested their row had woken up her mother. ‘Are you jealous?’ Jilly flashed back.
‘Jealous!’ David laughed. ‘What of?’
‘Of the fact that I might just be making a success out of my business, unlike you.’