by Beau Brown
“I was in shock. But… hell, you’re acting like your life is over. Jesus.”
“I am?”
I got up and dumped my coffee in the sink. Why was I being so defensive? It wasn’t like I’d wanted him to claim me. Not really. Not when I was thinking logically at least. In the heat of the moment last night, yeah, I’d wanted that. I’d wanted that so bad it had felt like I’d die if he hadn’t claimed me. My knees felt weak as memories of last night washed over me. Last night, in the throes of passion, I’d wanted nothing but to be by his side for the rest of my life; having his pups and being under his protection.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I jumped when Tex touched my arm. I hadn’t noticed he’d risen too.
“This is new territory for both of us.” His voice was husky. “I know you don’t want me as your alpha, and I don’t know how to fix this.”
I turned to him, and his gentle gaze flicked down to Ava in my arms. My stomach warmed with confusing feelings toward him. “Any omega would be lucky to have you as their alpha, Tex. It’s just that I hate staying still in one place for long.”
“I know.” His mouth turned down at the corners. “I know you want to be free.”
I nodded, even as my stomach ached at the thought of leaving him. What was going on with me? Since when did I need anybody else to make me feel whole? “But you’re stuck with me for now. I can’t go anywhere with this little one still so young.”
Relief filled his eyes. “Yeah. True.” He cleared his throat and moved away. “I’m going to head out. My mom is coming by in about ten minutes.”
“Okay.” Usually I’d have preferred to be alone, but lately, I kind of liked having people around me. Maybe it was just because of the threat of Sven.
He left, closing the door quietly behind him. A weird ache set in as I heard his truck start up and drive away. I felt physically ill as he left the yard, and I sat down and pressed my hand to my chest. It felt like a part of me was being torn away. I didn’t understand what these new feelings were, but I didn’t care for them. They had to be connected to his claim on me. Eventually, the strange sensations faded, but my heart still ached for Tex. I wanted to hear his voice and inhale his scent like never before.
“God. Get a grip.” I shook off my sentimental thoughts and cleaned the kitchen, with Ava in the crook of my arm. When Sharon arrived, I was happy to see her. She had a wonderful, cheerful energy that filled any room she entered. She came straight up to me and Ava and planted kisses on both of our cheeks.
I laughed nervously, uncomfortable with such unbridled affection.
“How are you feeling?” Her sharp gaze studied my face.
“Pretty good.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You sure about that?”
I nodded and handed Ava over, to distract her. Could she sense something had happened between me and Tex? God, I hoped not. This situation was weird enough without other people knowing.
She smiled down at the baby and wandered away talking softly to the infant. I followed her, and when she sat on the couch, my stomach tumbled with memories of last night. My face was hot when she glanced up, and she laughed.
“What’s with that look?” She arched one brow.
“What look?”
She wiggled her finger at me. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I shifted my gaze to the window. “I’m just tired.”
“Hmmm.”
I sat across from her in an armchair. “So what motherly advice do you have for me?”
“You want me to give you advice?”
“Yep. You’ve had three kids. What’s something you wish you’d known when your babies were first born?” I figured that question might distract her since most people liked to talk about themselves.
She screwed up her face, as if trying to think of an answer. “Well, I wish someone had told me to relax a little.” She grinned. “Babies aren’t made of glass. You don’t have to over think every little sound and expression.”
I laughed. “She does seem so fragile though.”
“You’d be surprised.”
“What else?” I nudged.
She cocked her head. “You’re in a kind of different situation. I would say, lean more on your alpha and let him help.”
I winced. “Yeah. I don’t want to do that with Sven.”
She hesitated, and then she said, “You could lean on Tex. I know he’d want you to.”
My face warmed. “I don’t know about that.”
“I know my son. I’ve seen the way he is with you. I’ve never seen him so protective of an omega. I think he’s fallen hard and fast for you.”
“No.” A part of me yearned to believe her, but Tex was a real catch, and I was… well… not.
She bit her lip. “I have a theory about why you guys are so connected, but I know you and Tex would probably tell me I’m crazy.”
I frowned. “What kind of theory?”
“I’m almost afraid to say.”
“Might as well.”
Kissing Ava’s plump little cheek, she said, “I think you and my son might be fated mates.”
My mouth dropped open, and I widened my eyes. “What?” I screeched. “Fated mates? That’s not a real thing.”
She scowled. “It most certainly is. Me and my husband are a fated pair. It’s very real.”
Shock rattled through me as I shook my head. “That’s not possible. Why would I have a fated mate?”
“Well, it’s more common among blond, blue eyed omegas who are orphaned.”
I clenched my jaw. “I’m not an orphan.”
She winced. “Now, don’t be mad, but Tex told me a little about your family life.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Tex told you about my family?” When would he have talked to her? I’d only told him about my dad last night. “How did he have a chance to tell you?”
“When I called this morning to tell him I was coming over to stay with you while he’s at work.” She gave me a searching look. “I could tell something was bothering him. So I pushed a little, and he told me about how your mom died in childbirth, and your dad checked out emotionally.”
“Then you know I’m not an orphan.”
“For all intents and purposes, you were. The fated mates phenomenon helps protect vulnerable omegas. After all, we omegas are important to the survival of our species.” She cleared her throat. “I was an orphan.”
“You were?”
She nodded. “Yes. Both my parents died in a car crash when I was nine weeks old.”
“Jesus.” I stared at her feeling muddled. “I’ve always thought fated mates were a wives tale. I’m not sure I can swallow anything that bizarre.”
Her gaze softened. “When I met Tex’s dad, something happened inside me. The first time I saw him, I was drawn to him. Now, I’d heard of fated mates, and I believed in them. I can see you don’t think the same way as me.”
“No.” I scowled. “I’m not sure I like Tex telling everybody my business.”
“Honey, he only told me. And he only did that because he cares about you.”
“Still. Seems like my personal business should stay private.”
She sighed. “Well, it’s too late now. I already know.”
“I guess,” I muttered.
“There’s something strong between you two, and there’s no point in denying it.”
My face was warm as I remembered last night. The aching passion that had driven me to approach Tex and try to get him to fuck me. And when he’d warned me he was going to claim me, the excitement had been earth shattering. I’d wanted him to claim me like I needed oxygen. I could have fought him, but I’d yearned for his bite. When his teeth had sunk into my flesh, I’d almost come just from that alone. Then when the knot had swelled inside of me, and Tex had commanded me to come, my body had obeyed, opening and welcoming his seed like a flower being pollinated.
Her narrowed gaze seemed piercing. “Did something happen betw
een you two?” She sounded breathless. “I mean… something sexual?”
How the hell could she tell that from my expression?
“I don’t know what you mean.” My face was so hot I could have fried eggs on my cheeks.
She gasped. “Something did happen.” It wasn’t a question.
I covered my face and groaned.
“Are you not happy about it?” She sounded surprised.
When I dropped my hands, I said, “No. Of course not. We were reckless and stupid, and now I’m probably pregnant!”
She twisted her lips. “I know. That’s how it is with fated mates. There’s no control.” She sighed. “I knew something was up, when Tex just about decked Sven at the ER. I’ve rarely seen my son that worked up.”
“How come you seem cool with this? Aren’t you disappointed?”
“What? Why would I be?”
“Well, I’m sure I’m not exactly the sort of omega you hoped he’d get stuck with.”
“Stuck with?” She snorted. “Honey, you’re the blessing I’ve been waiting for. For goodness’ sake, now I finally understand why Tex would never settle down. He was waiting for his soul mate.”
Soul mate.
I grimaced. “I can’t be anybodies soul mate. That’s nuts.”
“Why not?”
I shrugged. “Tex is amazing. He’s gorgeous and smart. Jesus, he could have any omega he wants. Why the hell would the universe stick him with a thieving, emotionally stilted wreck like me?”
She laughed, her gaze warm. “He wants you. Obviously.”
“I’m not so sure about that.” I sighed, feeling emotionally exhausted. “I think he regrets what happened last night.”
“That’s because he thinks you do. I’m sure of it. If I know my son, he thinks you don’t want him, and he’s embarrassed that he claimed you.” She peered at my neck. “He did claim you, right?”
Pressing my palm to the bite mark under my collar, I nodded. “Yes.”
“Well, honey, you can try to fight this, but it’s happening.”
I frowned. “Well, if I am pregnant, that’s going to complicate things.”
“Why?”
I met her gaze, lifting my chin stubbornly. “Because I don’t plan on staying in Sweet Water.”
Her face fell. “Why on earth not?”
I shrugged. “I don’t like staying in one place too long.”
“Not even now? You’ve found your fated mate, and you plan on just throwing that away?” Her face was flushed, and she looked annoyed. “That’s crazy.”
“I don’t want to be owned. I don’t.” I sounded like I was trying to convince myself too. “And Tex deserves a more subservient omega. Someone who likes kowtowing to an alpha.”
“Tex isn’t like that and you know it.”
“Not really. I don’t know much about Tex at all.” I wasn’t sure why I was pushing the idea that Tex would be an asshole of an alpha. Especially since he’d only ever been good to me. But I could tell she disapproved of my need to move on, and I guess it made me defensive.
She leaned toward me, her mouth a grim line. “You’re fated mates. You can’t break that. You can’t turn each other in for a refund. It’s done.”
I clenched my jaw. “Fine. But that doesn’t mean I have to stick around and put up with it.” I huffed. “We were both fine before we met, and we’ll be fine when we part.”
She snorted a laugh. “Honey, you have no idea what you’re talking about. You can’t just leave your alpha behind and not feel it. You’ll be aching for him. It’s just how it is.”
Anxiety ate at my gut. “Trust me, it’s best for everybody if I don’t stay.”
“What is it with you?” Her voice was gruff. “Why won’t you stay put?”
“It… it’s just for the best, that’s all.” I stared at my clasped hands.
She exhaled roughly. “I can see you’re as stubborn as they come.” She stood. “Well, this is really none of my business. I love my son and I want what’s best for him. But you and Tex have to figure all this out.” She kissed Ava’s forehead. “Should we take this little one for a walk?”
“Sure.” I rose awkwardly.
She glanced out the window. “I bought a stroller. It’s in the car if you want to go get it.”
I frowned. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Why? Do you have a stroller?”
“Er… no.”
She laughed and handed me her car keys. “Well, then, what’s the problem? I’m the only stand-in grandma around at the moment. That means I get to do things like buy strollers and stuffed animals.” She smiled, although there was still tension around her eyes from our earlier conversation. I knew she was disappointed in me, and I wished I could be the kind of omega she wanted for her son.
I didn’t want to admit it to her, but a part of me wanted to stay here with Tex. It surprised me because of my usual need to roam. But a piece of me did feel attached to my alpha. I wanted him to come home, so I could curl up beside him and inhale his scent. I wanted him to touch me, and sooth me with just the sound of his voice. No matter how tough I was acting around Sharon, I yearned to be near Tex.
What had happened last night with Tex, had forced me to face something about myself. I’d always thought I’d traveled so much because I liked to experience new things. I’d told myself that I kept moving so I didn’t get bored. But I was now aware I’d lied to myself most of my adult life. I moved all the time so no one got to see the real me. I didn’t stay in one place so that I didn’t disappoint people. I wasn’t traveling, I was running. Running from myself. Running from how unworthy I felt.
And I’d need to run now too. As soon as Ava was old enough to travel, I’d need to move on from Tex. I didn’t have it in me to witness the disappointment on his face when he realized what an unworthy omega I was. Because if I hung around long enough, he’d figure it out, and I couldn’t handle that.
Chapter Nine
Tex
The next few weeks were weird. Griff was so polite it grated on my nerves. He wasn’t himself at all. I missed the mouthy omega who’d challenged me from the moment we’d met. Of course, most of the time he simply avoided me. How that was really possible, seeing as we lived in the same house, I wasn’t sure. But any time I came in a room, he found some reason to leave.
One night after work, I opened the kitchen door feeling tired and depressed. The house was quiet except for a pot simmering on the stove. It smelled nice in the house, like tomatoes and garlic. Griff had been cooking and cleaning like Cinderella lately. I’d told him it wasn’t necessary, but he’d insisted. I had to admit, it was nice coming home to a hot meal every night.
When he walked in the kitchen, he stopped short when he saw me. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t expect you home this soon.”
“Jake let me go early.” I hung my coat on the rack near the door. I’d agreed to meet Jake and Hunter later for drinks. They didn’t know anything about what had happened with me and Griff. Hunter had noticed I looked down lately, and so he’d set me up with an omega pal of his. I wasn’t interested in dating. Ever since I’d claimed Griff, all I could think about was how much I needed him. But I had to admit I was pissed off at Griff for treating me like a leper. So I figured what could it hurt to go have a drink with my friends, and let an omega fawn over me for one night? I wasn’t going to sleep with the guy. I just needed some ego boosting. Griff sure enough didn’t want me. He’d made that clear.
He moved to the stove. “I was just going to stir the sauce.” He glanced over his shoulder nervously as he picked up the wooden spoon.
“That’s fine.” It wasn’t like he needed my permission.
“I already took my shower, so if you want to take one, there’s plenty of hot water.” His voice was stiff.
“Yeah. I might just do that.” I cleared my throat. “I’m going out later.”
His body stilled, but he didn’t look over. “Is that right?”
“Yep. I’ve
got a blind date.” I was kind of glad to see his jaw tense with what appeared to be displeasure. Maybe he wasn’t quite as aloof as he liked to pretend.
“Who with?”
I sighed, leaning against the island. “Does it matter?”
He shrugged. “I guess not.”
A thick silence fell.
He set the spoon down, and faced me, his mouth a grim line. “Is it customary for an alpha with a fated mate to date other omegas?”
I winced. “I see you’ve heard my mother’s koo koo theory.”
“You think it’s not true?”
I frowned. “Do you think it is?” That would surprise the hell out of me. Griff didn’t seem the type to believe in fated mates.
“Probably not.” His eyes were filled with resentment. “But you still claimed me. Seems weird for you to still see other omegas.”
Frustration curled in my gut as I leaned toward him. “Yeah, I did. But you’ve made it clear you don’t want me, Griff. What the hell do you think I’m gonna do? Just stay celibate for the rest of my life?”
His jaw clenched. “Of course not.”
“Then don’t worry about what I’m up to in that department.”
“Fine with me.” I could practically feel the fumes of anger coming off of him as he turned back to the stove. He picked up the spoon and began stirring again. “Seems disrespectful, that’s all,” he muttered.
“What’s that?”
He shot me an angry glance. “I said it seems disrespectful for you to go fuck some other omega when I’m living under your roof.”
“What is it with you tonight?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been like a fucking ghost. I enter a room, and you scurry out like a scared mouse. But now you have your panties in a bunch because I’m not going to sit around and wait for you to notice me?”
“I notice you just fine,” he grumbled. “Why the hell do you think I avoid you so much?”
I frowned. “That makes no sense.”
“Yeah it does. I’m trying not to make another mistake.”
“That’s flattering.”
“You know what I mean.” He huffed.
“Not really, Griff. I’m confused by you big time.” I started to leave the room to go change. He was getting me all worked up, and that wouldn’t do either of us any good.