by A. L. Wood
We rented an apartment instead of residing in a dorm on campus. You never knew who you'd be rooming with, and we would rather be with each other. She’s the only person who never treated me differently after my parents died. People think I should hate her. Hate her parents. How could I? They were all drinking, I'm sure it wasn't the first time they risked their lives seeing who could drive instead of calling a taxi or another friend. It could have been my parents driving.
Brian didn't mean for it to happen. It was an accident, a freak-forever life-changing accident.
“Nat, NATALIE!” Layla's snapping fingers in front of my eyes and yelling at me.
She’s telling me we have to go shopping for new outfits for this concert. I tell her she’s buying since I don’t even want to go in the first place. I must have spaced off thinking of the past. It doesn't often happen because I don’t let it. I try to package it in a neat little box and shove it in the back of my mind.
I can afford it, but attending wasn’t my idea, and I don’t go around broadcasting the total in my bank account by spending it on frivolous materialistic items. I only spend money on necessities. Things I need to get by such as; college tuition, books, materials for class, shampoo, body wash, and food. I don’t believe in luxuries because there are so many people in the Godforsaken world that aren't as well off as I am.
Last Chance: Rock Romance #2
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An excerpt from Last Chance: Rock Romance #2
Prologue
Layla
Just getting off from my eight-hour shift at the hippest local bar in Boston, I am exhausted and ready to hit my bed full force. Luckily I had a day shift, so it wasn’t nearly as busy as it is when working the night shift. I can’t get Nat out of my mind. In the past week, I have only heard from her once.
When I dropped her off, she promised me, she would stay in contact. This is the longest we will be away from each other since we’ve been alive. I also know this is a way out of her comfort zone. The members of “Steele’s Army” are daunting, and I know she puts on that tough exterior act, but she can only hold that facade up for so long.
I couldn’t help but push her into this. After five years of seeing her live her life hidden beneath this shell, as her best friend, I refused to stop being her enabler. She ought to have so much more than what life has thrown at her, forced upon her. I know my parents; my father more so, feels extreme guilt.
I also know that since the tragedy Nat has never blamed my dad. I have never needed her confirmation; we have always been a family. The accident ruined my dad. He killed his best friend, his brother and his wife.
After that day, he could never keep eye contact with me; a big part of the reason I agreed and supported Nat’s decision to leave New York. I was tired of my family not being able to linger around me for more than ten minutes. They thought that money could somehow substitute their absence.
Do I enjoy the money? Is it cold in Antarctica?
I enjoy not having to rely on student grants or loans to pay for college. I also enjoy not having to wonder where my next paycheck is going to come from, and worry over how each bill will get paid. I like being able to help people, others that are not as fortunate as I.
I enter the apartment throwing my car keys down on the kitchen counter, too lazy to attempt at cooking something to eat, I throw ramen in the microwave. While my food is cooking, I decide to go into Natalie’s room. This week has been agony for me. Being without her here in this apartment isn’t the same. It’s lonely without her music jamming loudly at all hours of the day, hell it’s just lonely without her.
I have probably slept in her room four nights this week. Finding comfort by enfolding myself in her blankets. Our lives were planned to be intertwined long before we were born. Natalie will always be my other half. A part of my being. She has always felt that I was her sanity, her reason to keep moving every day. She’s always voiced her opinion on that.
What she doesn’t know is that I feel an overbearing guilt at what my father did. Accident or no. If my dad had just suggested they call a taxi, her parents would still be here. She wouldn’t be as closed off as she is now. She wouldn’t be severely heartbroken trudging along in life. Sometimes I think she can see through me. See why I do what I do. She puts on the hard shell to her exterior never letting anyone but me in. I do the opposite. I have let people in all the time. But only for a few nights of fun. Those few nights allow me to feel alive again. But I am not deserving of feeling alive.
So when the guilt makes its way in, slowly creeping along my soul. That’s when I kick them out of my bed. To be honest, they don’t deserve it either. If I let someone in, and let them know how much I ache for Natalie, how much hate and disgust I have for my parents, Or how much these thoughts consume me, they would only look at me with indifference. No one could or would ever understand.
I open her bedroom door and straight away notice she’s laying in her bed.
What the fuck?
Why is she here in her room?
She should be on a tour bus right now. How the hell did she get here?
I walk over to her bed and start shaking her awake. She doesn’t respond. I shake her again, this time a little harder.
“Nat!” I yell out.
“Natalie!”
Her not responding to me has my stomaching overturning. To set my mind at rest, I lay my head on her chest, just to hear her heartbeat. It’s beating, slowly. I start screaming her name out loud. Hoping, no praying that she will answer me or make some kind of movement. Her face is abnormally pale
I jump off the bed and yank my cellphone out of my pocket, furiously dialing 911. Natalie what did you do? The dispatcher answers the call. Rushing the words out I tell her my friend is laying in her bed, not responding to anything I do and that her heart is barely beating. She tells me she’s sending an ambulance. That everything will be all right.
Right now I am having a very hard time accepting that everything will be okay. I have never seen Natalie like this.
What happened?
As the dispatcher is still on the phone, she directs me to check Nat’s pulse. To keep checking it to make sure she hasn’t stopped breathing altogether. Sitting on the bed beside Natalie’s body with my thumb on her wrist, I glance at her nightstand and notice a piece of paper sitting there.
A letter. Addressed to me. Oh Natalie. She did this on purpose.
Find Me: Rock Romance #3
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An excerpt from Find Me: Rock Romance #3
Chapter 1
Liam
The Queen, as I have now dubbed her, had her Princess last night. I think the last time that I can remember seeing Ryan this happy, was the day that we got signed. Temperance, a beautiful name and fitting for one so innocent and small. She is the spitting image of her mother, only she has Ryan’s blue eyes.
Before Layla and I left last night, we got to hold her for a bit. I was nervous as hell, because I never once had a chance to hold such a tiny baby. Thought I would drop her, but with Natalie’s urging and confidence, I picked her up. I cuddled her to my chest and held on tightly.
We stayed for a few hours, all the while I was inconsiderately selfish with Temp, not even wanting her own parents to hold her. The Queen and I shared a bond. I don’t know why, or even how, but we did, and that bond carried on to her newly born child. I was jealous that Ryan got to be with her and have a family.
I wanted what he had.
I wanted to take care of her.
Forever.
My body, my emotions, owned her a
nd she me. But when it came time to leave, I kissed Temperance on the forehead and laid her in her father’s arms and walked away. I gulped in the stale air around me, swallowing my emotions. I hid my inner turmoil of jealousy well. But not well enough.
“We’re going to let you both get some rest, we’ll come visit in the morning.” I say, glancing between Ryan and Natalie, who are snuggled together on the hospital bed with Temperance laying on Natalie’s chest. I take a step closer to them, almost begging for the punishment of having to feel the emotions of longing and loneliness taking over my heart.
I am my own worst enemy.
I take another step closer to Natalie’s side. I look down at the beautiful baby girl and then back into her mother’s eyes. “You did well. Queen.” I whisper. Then place a chaste kiss upon her cheek. I stand upright and notice Ryan giving me a furiously questioning stare, but I ignore him and his unspoken questions. Questions that I don’t want to answer. I turn around and walk away.
Natalie doesn’t know it yet, but seeing her and Ryan laid together as a family upon that bed made the decision for me. To cut this bond and walk away. I can be her friend, but not her best friend. I can’t be that close. It wouldn’t be fair to Ryan, I, or her, and especially not Princess.
I make it back to the waiting room, when I am confronted by the guys. Gage, Jason, and Zepp all stand up to greet me. I had called them as soon as Ryan had called me, to let them know that the baby was coming. I suggested they wait until the morning to visit. Thankful that they had not listened.
I don’t want to have this conversation right now. All I want to do is get in my car and drive back to what used to be Layla and Natalie’s apartment, but is now mine and Layla’s apartment. When Natalie moved in with Ryan, I took her old room out of convenience. Layla didn’t need a roommate to help with bills, but I couldn’t let her live alone and if I were to be honest with myself, I wanted- no needed something to hold onto of Natalie’s at the time.
We have canceled the tour until later next year and Ryan installed a studio in the basement of his house, so we could all conveniently work out of his house and I refused to room there as the other guys did. I knew I didn’t want to put any roots down in Boston. As much as my heart yearned to be close to Natalie, I knew that there would come a time that I had to cut myself off from her due to my having an interest that’s more than friendly. I just didn’t think it would have been so soon. That it would have had to be now.
“Well aren’t you going to tell us how she’s doing?” Gage interrupts my thoughts.
I hesitate. I would rather be anywhere else at this moment. These guys have the power to read right through me. I can try to hide my emotions all I want, but they will always see right through it. Effortlessly.
What am I supposed to say? “She’s beautiful, the baby I mean.” I stumble with my words. “She looks just like her mother, they’re still exhausted, but I’m sure if you guys were to peek in for a few minutes, they wouldn’t care.” I walk away awkwardly, unsure of what else to say. I don’t want their questions, and they are one hell of a nosy bunch.
I exit the waiting room and make my way to my car, when Layla starts talking. I forgot that she was with me or that I was her ride.
“What is your problem?” She asks.
“Nothing. I’m fine. Maybe tired.” I reply dismissively, while getting in the car.
She lets out a sigh, exasperated with my short answers. Since I started staying with her and Natalie, she has done nothing but give me hassle about my feelings for Nat. I tried like hell to tame my shit down toward Nat. I always knew that she belonged to Ryan, much to my regret.
But I couldn’t help how I felt. I tried and tried. The more time I spent with her, trying to help her heal, watching over her, the more my feelings grew. The pregnancy was just fuel added to the flame on the torch I had already begun carrying for her. I knew she wasn’t ready and even though it made me a shit ass best friend to Ryan, I could not help it. As the saying goes, the heart wants what the heart wants.
Forever, Hold On: Rock Romance #5
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An excerpt from Forever, Hold On: Rock Romance #5
Chapter 1
Jason
About The Author
A.L. Wood resides in Glens Falls, NY with her husband and daughter. When she’s not writing she’s reading and spending time with her family and friends.
A.L. Wood can be found on Facebook and twitter, both links are below if you are interested in keeping up with any new releases.