“What is it?” Tessa turned, meeting my eyes in the mirror. Still, my head was shaking. “Aetas, what’s wrong?”
“That’s not my name. That’s not me.”
“What? Yes it is. That’s you.”
“No.” My voice was forceful now. The rage was returning and I was more confused than ever.
Tessa turned back to me, placing her hands on each side of my face. “I like this, you. This is the Aetas I know. The one who has taught me so much. He’s my leader … my lover. Not the other version. I want his one. Please stay like this.”
“Why? Because you don’t want me to taint the memory of your precious Marko?”
“No. Because this is who you are.”
My lids squeezed shut through the throbbing that was beginning to take place in my head. “It is not. I don’t know him anymore.” My words were mumbled as I blindly reached for Tessa, bringing her closer. The love wasn’t as strong when I was this way. It was there, but not like when I was Marko.
I stepped back, opening my eyes as I pulled us to the bed. The resistance that met me wasn’t a match as I threw my weight down and brought us falling back onto the mattress. The moment we landed, I rolled on top of her, lowering my face into her neck. The sweet perfume that was her enveloped me and I couldn’t help but suck against her skin.
“Aetas?”
My head shot up and I snarled, slamming my palm over her mouth. Marko’s blood swirled within and I embraced it, letting it transform me back to him—back to me.
“Aetas is dead, ma minette. I never want to hear his name leave your pretty little lips again. Ever. Now enough of this before my mood is spoiled and I make you pay for leaving me.”
The pressure from her anger radiated through the room and she jerked her head to the side. “Do you truly love me so much that you will deny your own identity?”
“You are my identity. I can think of nothing but you. Each breath I take is meaningless unless the smell of you has masked it. Your blood is all I want keeping me alive. You, you, you. You are my foundation of being and there’s nothing I can do to change that. I’ve thought of everything. To kill you would be killing myself. Even then I wouldn’t have you like I need. I am doomed to live in this torment eternally. At least if I am to suffer, I will do so with you at my side. In my bed.” I lowered back to her neck, letting my fangs come down to scrape along the surface.
“If you love me, why do hurt our kind? Why do you not do what you can to make me happy?”
“I’m going to make you happy, love. I’m going to make you so fucking happy right now.”
Chapter 36
Tessa
I couldn’t move through the sickness I felt. I wanted nothing more than to kill the vampire sleeping with his body wrapped around my own. Blood had dried over my chest and limbs long ago, but I cared not for how much I had lost, or the fact that he’d gotten his pleasure and fix from nearly draining me so he could sleep. My smell would calm him, he’d said. As if I cared whether or not he was at peace.
If his death wouldn’t take the life of my mate, I would have poisoned him and tore his heart out of his chest to crush in my palm. Let him love me, then. God, his death would be so simple. I could do it. I knew I could. It was hell not being able to. It was even worse pretending.
To give my body to a monster over and over was destroying me. Hate. The emotion didn’t even scratch the surface for how I felt about Aetas. The moment I began to pull back, he sensed it. The anger that came from him at that was one that scared me. I couldn’t afford to screw this up. Marko and Hunter couldn’t afford it. Aetas’ attention would zero in on them for sure. He needed me, to have all of his focus aimed at the one person who could keep him distracted.
The grip tightened around me and Aetas drew me in impossibly closer. I tried not to tense or shove him away from me. The worst part was knowing I could leave. I could disappear right now and be free of this. But what would that do? He’d bring me back and the next time, his love might not so easily forgive. I was in a lose-lose situation no matter how I looked at it. The only thing I could do was buy Marko and Hunter time. At some point Aetas was going to realize he needed to get them back and with what I saw last night between unconsciousness, Hunter was just as susceptible to the summoning as I was.
“You’re awake. I feel your thoughts. They run so deep. They coax me from such a good sleep.”
I stared up at the ceiling, trying my best to rein in the negativity. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to wake you. I was thinking over what needed to be done today. Have you chosen a new circle, yet?”
“I have.” Stubble from his cheek scraped against the side of my forehead as he buried his face into me even more.
“Surely you have duties. May I attend as your queen? I know I’m not member-worthy yet, but—”
“You’re more powerful than most selected. I killed off the strongest.”
I blinked passed the information, trying not to let my pulse increase. He trusted me more than I expected. Or … he thought himself above needing protectors.
My mouth opened to speak, but his hand quickly covered it.
“Too early. I care not for any of that. Politics are the last thing on my mind right now.”
I resisted the urge to attack him for cutting me off with his hand. Hostility was my first reaction toward him every time he touched me.
I turned my head under the weight of his hand and he let me, lowering it to begin to massage into my breast.
“I should …” My mouth closed and my thoughts died off. I was going to say bathe, but the flashbacks of the last time I was around water with him nearly took my breath away. Fear engulfed me so intense that Aetas’ head rose. I stole a glance, hating that Marko’s face was what met me. I tried to avoid looking at it as much as possible, but I couldn’t escape the truth. Aetas wasn’t going to turn back into his old self. Ever.
“What is it? You’re afraid.”
I paused, trying to recall who I caught a glimpse of. Something wasn’t right with his looks. I knew that even as I stared at his shoulder. “I don’t want to fear you.” I let my eyes dart up once again to his cheek. “Marko, I must be honest with you. You scare me sometimes. Just the thought of getting clean leaves me shaking. If I embrace this … you won’t hurt me again, will you?”
“Oh, ma minette. Come here.”
His arms drew me in until my face was level with the front of his throat.
“Just love me. That’s all I want.”
My fangs thickened with the need to tear out his throat, and they lowered the smallest amount as I moved in. When my lips pressed into him, his fingers laced through my hair, keeping me there. My vampire wanted to react violently. To attack at the lack of control I had, but somehow I managed to move back and place more kisses across his skin.
“God, yes. Keep going. I knew you loved me. You just had to see for yourself. That’s all it was. That’s the only reason you were gone so long.”
I paused, blinking through the lies he was feeding himself to cope.
“You’re back now, though, and my love will keep you here. You’ll never want to leave me again.”
“No,” I whispered, placing one last kiss. “This is my home now. With you.”
“Look at me. Look me in the eyes and tell me that.”
I hesitated as my intuition told me not to. But if I were to deny him, he’d get angry. I couldn’t allow that yet. Slowly, I angled my head back and nearly gasped at what I saw. The brown color of his eyes were lighter, almost golden as he stared down so full of desperation. And his features … they were different.
“This is my home,” I choked out. “I choose you. I want us to be happy together.”
“Tell me you love me as you look at me. Right here,” he said, pointing back to his eyes.
“I … love you.”
Never before had I felt so uncomfortable saying those three words, but Aetas wasn’t himself, or Marko. The realization of what he was becoming left m
e unbalanced. Shocked to the core. This vampire before me, he was new. Almost a mix of them both. It was as though Aetas’ mind had warped the two together. He truly in his mind was a version of Marko, now. I saw a slightly thinner nose, smaller, yet still full lips. And those eyes. My stare kept getting sucked into their depths. They were so entrancing. So mesmerizing to look into.
“I love you,” I repeated through a fog. “I love you.”
Time slowed as I felt my mind stall. Love. Love. God, it was so nice to be looking into his eyes. So … calming. Love. He did love me. I could see it.
“Yes, you do. You love me so much that you didn’t even know the extent until you returned. That Marko you were with, he wasn’t who you truly love, and you saw that while you were away, didn’t you? That’s why you so easily let me bring you back.”
“Yes,” I breathed out.
“And Hunter, you hate him more than ever. He killed you, but I gave you life. Remember? You even loved me, then, when I taught you how to use your powers. You love me so much that you never want to see them again. You hate them, just as I do. They tried to break us apart, but what we hold is so much stronger than they are.”
“You’re right.”
Lips crushed into mine and my lids lowered heavily through the tingling in my mind.
“I love you. I do.”
“Again,” he growled, pinning me to my back. “Here. Keep looking into my eyes. Keep telling me so I can feel it.”
“I love you.”
Power radiated from above me as the golden color almost seemed to come to life in his intense stare. It was suffocating, and yet addicting. And I couldn’t turn away. I suddenly didn’t want to.
“You’ve been surging. You’re surging,” I repeated from nowhere.
Marko froze at my words, his eyes going wide as something seemed to dawn on him.
“Yes … I don’t know how I missed it. Don’t think about that now, though. Keep looking at me. Keep loving me.”
“I am.”
A big smile burst onto his face. “I got you. Fuck, I finally got you.” He moaned, lowering his body to mine. “Now I can go through with my plan. Now we can start our reign.”
Where I expected him to kiss me again, he didn’t. All he did was grin and gaze into my very soul as minutes went by. And I didn’t care. The silence and connection left me in a blissful peace. I was floating and happy for the first time in as long as I could remember. There was no worries. No burdens or fears when I was taken over by the void within him.
“Such a beautifully broken mind you have, my queen. I see into you clearer than I’ve ever seen into anyone. Your thoughts, your dreams, your secrets, they’re mine now. You’ve been misled by our enemy, but our new connection changes things. You love me, and I forgive you for your hatred and deception. But none of that matters. You have shown me what I need to know. Together, we will fix this.”
His words didn’t make sense. All I knew was his love for me, and my need to return it.
“You wish to shower and meet with my members. I will give you what you want. But not for the reasons you had hoped for. I’ve erased those from your memory. I’ve erased it all. Now you will go to lead them. You will show your support for your king, and you will kill anyone who tries to turn you against me. Your loyalty is to the one you love. And you do love me, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
The grin faded as he rose and pulled me to my knees to face him. The hold on each side of my head was light and gentle as he continued. “You will lead the plan of attack on Austin’s underground city. We will kill all those who try to rise against me. They are traitors and we can’t tolerate their rebellion. As laws go, we as leaders can’t kill royalty without reason. This imposter, Marko, this unknown stranger who is impersonating me will not be harmed until he admits to his true identity. He and his accomplice, The Black Prince, will be brought in and put in lockdown for their crimes. We can keep them there until we decide a better course of action. Perhaps we will let the doctor, Nelson, live down there with them for his crimes. And you will stay far away from the mate and former best friend who wants nothing more than to kill you. Yes. This will work.”
“It will work,” I agreed in a monotone voice.
Marko leaned in, kissing me before pulling back and standing from the bed. My mind blanked out and only one thing registered as I stared around the room in a daze. Planning. I had to meet with the members. I had to rule them.
“First, a shower,” he said, as if reading my mind. “Then we will work.”
I looked down at the dark, dried blood from our lovemaking. “Yes, of course. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“You weren’t. The fake Marko did something to your mind, but I fixed it. It’ll take a little time, but you’ll be better than ever before too long.”
“Thank you.” I stared up at him in awe. My heart fluttered as I took his extended hand and followed him into the bathroom.
“No need to thank me. Thank you, ma minette. You have no idea what you’ve done.”
He was right, I didn’t. I didn’t know anything at the moment except the way I kept wanting to look deep into his eyes. It was as though I was searching for something within. Trying to figure out a deep rooted mystery. But there were no answers, only the pull to keep trying to find the solution.
“I feel better than I have in weeks. It all makes sense now. I haven’t grown stronger in so long. But that’s what it was. That’s why I was losing my mind all of this time. I was surging, like you said. I don’t believe it is over, but now that I know, I can at least try to control it. I don’t want to hurt you.”
He leaned forward, turning on the shower before facing me again. Uncontrollably, my stare shot up to his.
“Look at you.” He smiled, brushing the hair back from my face. “My queen. This is really happening, and it couldn’t have come at more perfect time. Fate works in mysterious ways. You leaving when you did brought out all the traitors, and now they’ll be collecting in one place. We can destroy them all at the same time. It’s so perfect. You did well. I’m so proud of you.”
“You are?”
Confusion had me trying to search for thoughts that weren’t there.
“Yes. You did this for us. That’s what we will tell everyone when they see you’ve returned. You were protecting your king and leader. You were scouting and you knew I’d object to you putting yourself in harm’s way, so you left without me knowing. But you came back and you told me of the traitors’ plan. Now you’re back to help me rule.”
Marko pulled the shower door open, leading me inside. “You’re going to be the heroine in this. Centuries from now when our kind looks back at this moment in history, they will see the bravery of the one and only queen that will ever be again. They will see a world that was at war with itself, and how we persevered through chaos. How we rose from nothing and against all odds, we became great again. We’re starting over and this time will be different. Aetas’ reign will not matter compared to King Marko Delacroix’s. This is a clean slate. One that will be better than the last.”
“The last?”
“It matters not.” Marko positioned me in front of the spray. “Lift your arms.”
I obeyed, raking my mind for what was even happening. He talked of a clean slate, but that’s exactly how I felt. I knew things, but they didn’t feel right.
“Spread your legs.”
Again, I followed his direction. In swift circular motions he lathered me, caressing and fondling as he worked his way down.
“Look at me.” My eyes rose, stopping on his lips. “You’re thinking too much. Let me help.”
His fingers drifted down to the top of my slit and I reached for his shoulders as he added pressure over my clit and began to tease me.
“Is that better? Is this what you want?”
Before I could answer, his lips met mine and the cold marble connected with my back. I broke away gasping as he lifted me and held under my ass with one of
his forearms. When the tip of his cock traced my opening, tears slid down my face. I wiggled through the panic that was beginning to form within me.
“Marko? What’s happening?”
The break in my voice has his head rising.
“No, no, no,” he whispered. “Look into my eyes, ma minette. Do you see my love? Look deep.”
The snap in my mind was like a rubber band as my gaze connected with his. Vertigo left me feeling as though I was falling. Memories began to blind me in vivid color. I watched as a stranger to the scenes that soaked into my brain. I was scouting. Yes, watching this fake Marko and Hunter turn people against my king. I hated them. I wanted to kill them, but I knew I couldn’t. Not without hurting the real Marko or myself. But that was a secret, now. I wasn’t meant to speak of it anymore. And my Marko, he wanted me better. He loved me more than anything, and I loved him. He loved me. Loved me. Loved me.
A cry broke from my mouth as Marko’s cock plunged into me. My mind was still scattered and the room wasn’t coming in clear, but the pleasure was great. So much so that I wrapped my arms around him, driving myself down to meet his swift thrusts.
“You love me,” I stated.
“Fuck yes I do, baby.”
Marko’s mouth met mine and reality wasn’t clear. My body was taking over, but nothing else was adjusting right. For some reason, I prayed clarity would never come back. I wasn’t sure I could face the truth buried deep below. And it was there, just out of reach. It scared me. It was going to destroy me. What had I done?
Chapter 37
Hunter
Tessa. Answer me, dammit! Tessa?
“Well?”
Marko’s impatience left me gritting my teeth.
“She doesn’t answer. I’m not even sure she can hear me.”
“Tessa has to be able to hear you. You’re bonded. Fuck! What has he done to her?”
Marko paced the living room of the house we were staying in outside of L.A. For almost a week we had travelled around collecting survivors, taking them back to Austin. But it seemed the strongest of our kind was gone. Dead, during their own attempts to protect the vampires they were meant to rule. From Seattle to San Francisco, the numbers barely reached a handful at a time. We were seriously in trouble, and from what we had heard from the ones who had escaped in time to save their lives, it was worse on the East Coast. Martial law was in full effect. Military tanks and vehicles patrolled the streets twenty-four hours a day. Everyone who was visible was screened, and homes were constantly being raided. So far we had been lucky, but we didn’t stay in one spot long.
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