Forgotten Child

by Kitty Neale

  Tina’s family didn’t own one of these big houses. They rented a council flat and of course Jenny knew this was why her mother disapproved of their friendship. Unlike them, the Hammonds weren’t well off, but Jenny hated her mother’s snobbishness and would have swapped places with her friend like a shot. Tina’s mum was kind, didn’t suffer from nerves and wasn’t obsessed with housework. She was a short, tubby woman who was full of laughter, her welcome always so warm that over the years Jenny had often found the cramped flat a much-needed escape from the coldness of her own home life.

  ‘Jenny! Jenny, over here!’

  Jenny dashed across the road to join her friend.

  ‘Where have you been?’ asked Tina. ‘I waited in on Saturday but you didn’t come round.’

  ‘I’m sorry, but my father came home for the weekend.’

  ‘That explains it then. Thankfully mine didn’t show his face.’

  ‘What do you mean? Your dad’s nice,’ Jenny protested. Tina’s father was a long-distance lorry driver who was rarely in when she called round, but from what she’d seen he was full of affection for both Tina and her older sister.

  ‘Huh, so he’s fooled you too. Oh, I don’t want to talk about my dad. Change the subject, Jenny.’

  Jenny was puzzled, but nevertheless did as Tina asked. ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t come round, but you didn’t wait in all day for me, did you?’

  ‘No, I gave up by one o’clock and went to buy a new record. T-Rex has got two in the charts now, but I only had enough money for one. Ooh, I just love Marc Bolan.’

  ‘Yes, I know,’ Jenny said, smiling ruefully. ‘You hardly talk about anything else.’

  ‘Well, he is gorgeous.’

  Jenny wasn’t going to argue. Tina was absolutely mad about Marc Bolan and her bedroom walls were festooned with his posters. However, even had Jenny had an idol, she would never have been allowed to decorate her room with pictures of them. It was another thing that emphasised the many differences between Tina’s home life and her own.

  ‘I got a shock this morning,’ Jenny said. ‘My mother’s coming with me to see the careers adviser.’

  ‘Is she? Mine isn’t.’

  This was the last thing Jenny expected to hear. ‘I thought your mummy would insist on being there.’

  ‘Mummy! Gawd, you’d think I’d be used to the way you talk by now, but sometimes it still sounds so funny and posh. Anyway, as for my mum, all she did was to offer a bit of advice. She said to forget Germaine Greer and the feminist movement because it’s all nonsense. Instead I should take anything on offer with decent pay and it’ll do until the right man comes along.’

  ‘And will you?’

  ‘I’ll take anything that pays well, but not for those reasons. What about you? What sort of job are you looking for?’

  ‘I’m not sure, but one day I’d like to earn enough money to rent a place of my own.’

  ‘Do you really mean that, Jen? If you do, I wouldn’t mind sharing it with you.’

  ‘Why would you want to leave home?’

  ‘’Cos my sister’s said she’s moving out soon. That’ll just leave me for him to start on.’

  Jenny didn’t have a clue what Tina was talking about and asked, ‘Who’ll start on you? And start what?’

  ‘I…I can’t tell you. He…he’ll kill me.’

  ‘Tina, I’m your friend, your best friend, and there’s nothing you can’t tell me. If you want me to keep it to myself, I will, and you know that.’

  At these words, as though a dam had burst, Tina haltingly told her. Jenny’s stomach lurched in horror. She had envied her friend, had thought of her home as a haven, but now realised it was all an illusion. It was horrific to hear, dreadful, and as Tina continued to talk, Jenny felt the last vestiges of her childhood, of her innocence, being stripped away.

  ‘Oh, Tina, we’ve been friends for all this time and I had no idea. Why didn’t you tell me before?’

  ‘Because the sick thing is, I grew up thinking it’s normal, something that all dads do to their daughters. By the time I realised it wasn’t, I was too scared of me dad to open me mouth. Oh Gawd, Jen, I shouldn’t have told you. Don’t tell anyone! Promise me you won’t tell anyone!’

  Jenny’s heart went out to Tina and she reached out to clutch her friend’s hand. ‘I promise, but surely there’s something you and Mandy can do to stop him? Why don’t you tell the police?’

  ‘He’d deny it and he’s clever. He’s made sure there’s no proof.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘He hasn’t, you know…gone all the way. He…he makes us use our mouths.’

  ‘But what about your mum? Haven’t you told her?’

  ‘Jenny,’ Tina said, her voice strangled with pain. ‘She already knows.’

  Bile rose in Jenny’s throat. How could she? How could Tina’s mother allow it to happen?

  ‘If Mandy’s moving out, why don’t you go with her?’

  ‘I asked, begged, but she won’t take me. She wants to start a new life, to forget, and said I’d just be a constant reminder.’

  ‘I can’t believe she’s leaving you behind,’ Jenny said angrily, her mind turning. ‘But listen, you could still leave home.’

  ‘My dad won’t let me. Even if I wait until he’s away my mum would stop me. I’d have to do a runner.’

  ‘You’ll be sixteen soon and then they can’t stop you. Anyway, just let them try,’ Jenny said, ready to fight for her friend. It was as though her fear for Tina had brought about a change in her personality. Instead of her customary meekness she now felt strength, along with determination. Somehow she’d help her friend to get away.

  ‘I wish I could leave, Jenny, but where would I live? At sixteen I’d only earn peanuts and I don’t know how much it costs to rent a bedsit. I suppose I could try getting into an empty place, you know, a squat, but I…I’d be scared to do something like that on me own.’

  Jenny knew what she had to do. She hadn’t suffered like Tina, but she was unhappy at home and wanted to get away too.

  ‘You won’t be alone, Tina. I’m coming with you. With two wage packets we’re bound to be able to afford a bedsit.’

  ‘Oh, Jenny, do you really mean it?’

  ‘Of course I do,’ Jenny insisted. Yes, they’d get away; start a new life, one that they’d be in charge of. From then on, nobody, neither man nor woman, was going to mess with them again – not with their minds, or their bodies.

  Chapter Seven

  That afternoon, Delia dressed carefully in a navy blue designer suit, and then put on her diamond stud earrings. She had never shown any interest in Jennifer’s education before and had no idea what the girl was capable of, but now, to placate her son, she knew that getting rid of Jennifer would have to be delayed. It was something she hadn’t anticipated, and for that reason Delia dressed to impress. Appearances mattered, and she wanted to show this careers adviser that the girl came from a good home, a superior family, and was therefore not suited to some sort of menial work. If she could persuade the man to place Jennifer in an office, if only on the first rung of some sort of career, it would at least be something she wouldn’t be ashamed to tell her acquaintances at the WI and tennis club.

  Delia picked up her leather handbag, knowing that within Robin’s hearing she would have to continue to be nice to Jennifer. She would have to wait, keep up the act, but when the time was right she’d strike. Of course it would have to appear that she’d played no part in it, that Jennifer left of her own accord; but this time, no matter what, she wouldn’t be thwarted.

  It was a lovely day and rather than get her car out of the garage Delia decided to walk. As she left the drive a vehicle pulled up and she saw a fellow member of the WI behind the wheel.

  ‘Mrs Lavender, Delia, I can see you’re on your way out, but I’m glad I caught you,’ Penelope Grainger said as she wound down her window. ‘As you know we’re having a fundraiser next week, but Mrs Brunswick has had to bow out. Could I put
you down to take her place on the cake stall?’

  ‘Yes, of course,’ nodded Delia.

  ‘Will you still be contributing some of your lovely walnut cakes? They always go down so well.’

  ‘Yes, I’m making a half a dozen.’

  ‘Wonderful, but I must go. You know how it is, things to do and all that.’

  ‘Yes, I know what you mean. I’m just on my way to my daughter’s school.’

  ‘Oh dear, is there a problem?’

  ‘No, it’s an appointment with a careers adviser.’

  ‘My daughter, Fiona, was determined to follow her father into medicine, and though it’s jolly hard work, she loves it. Does your daughter have a career in mind?’

  Delia swallowed, once again cursing the fact that she had no idea what Jennifer was capable of. Penelope Grainger’s husband was a consultant, and her daughter had attended a private school. In fact, other than seeing the woman at WI meetings, they didn’t mix socially. Of course in this instance that could work in her favour – hopefully the woman unaware that Jennifer attended a state secondary school. Delia would have given anything to join Penelope’s social circle, but her aspirations had come to nothing as yet.

  ‘I think she’s interested in law,’ Delia lied, ‘but if you’ll excuse me I really must go now.’

  ‘Righto, I’ll see you next week,’ Penelope said, giving a small wave before driving off.

  Delia glanced at her watch. Only a few minutes had passed and she still had plenty of time, but nevertheless her pace was brisk as she continued her journey. Law! It had been the only thing that had popped into her head, and now sounded idiotic, especially as she doubted if Jennifer was capable of anything other than cleaning the chambers.

  Jenny and Tina were waiting to see the careers adviser when Tina hissed, ‘Jenny, I know you said my parents can’t stop me, but when we leave I’m still gonna do a runner.’

  ‘All right, but we’ll need to find a bedsit. Have you got an area in mind?’

  ‘Not really, but somewhere that’s got a bit of life. How about Chelsea?’

  ‘It isn’t a huge distance away, but if you want to move there it’s fine with me.’

  There was silence for a moment, then Tina said sadly, ‘It’ll be ages before we can save enough to leave. Any landlord will want about a month’s rent in advance, but my mum will want me to stump up at least half of what I earn.’

  ‘Tina, we’ll look for somewhere to live as soon as term’s over – we’ve got to get you away from your father as soon as possible. Thanks to my dad I’ve got some savings, enough to pay the rent for at least a month, maybe more. Mind you, if you still want to do a runner, you’ll have to pretend that nothing has changed until we leave. If the careers adviser arranges a job interview then go, otherwise your parents will guess that something’s up.’

  ‘Yeah, good thinking,’ Tina agreed. ‘As for the rent, I’ll pay you back as soon as I can, honest I will.’

  ‘Don’t worry about it. You’re my best friend, and that’s what matters, not money.’

  ‘You’re more than a friend to me, Jenny. You’re more like a sister, and a better one than Mandy.’

  Jenny felt a surge of pleasure. It was nice to think that Tina saw them as sisters.

  ‘Jennifer, there you are,’ her mother said as she walked up to them, looking immaculate but slightly harassed. ‘I was held up twice but thankfully it seems I’ve arrived in time.’

  ‘I haven’t been in yet, but I’m next.’

  ‘Please have the courtesy to move along so I can sit down,’ her mother then said, looking haughtily at Tina.

  As the door opened beside her and a girl came out, Jenny reared to her feet and said sharply, ‘There’s no need to sit down, Mother. It’s my turn now.’

  ‘Very well, come on then, let’s get this over with.’

  ‘Good luck, Jenny.’

  ‘Thanks, Tina,’ Jenny said, ignoring her mother’s disapproving look as they walked in to see the careers adviser.

  Delia looked disdainfully at the weedy little man behind his desk. When invited to sit down, she inspected the chair before flicking it fastidiously with her handkerchief.

  The man didn’t seem intimidated by her actions. With a pair of round glasses perched on the end of his nose, he perused a folder in front of him until they were both seated. When he did finally look up, his eyes went to Jennifer, his smile warm.

  ‘I see from this report that your work has been exceptional, with standards that your teachers feel would have been good enough for grammar school.’

  ‘As she failed her eleven plus, I don’t see how,’ Delia said huffily.

  ‘There are many intelligent children who fail the examination for one reason or another, and from this report it seems your daughter may well have been one of them.’

  ‘Well, yes, I always knew she was bright,’ Delia blustered now, blushing at the lie.

  The man ignored her reply, instead pulling a card from an index file and focusing on Jennifer again. ‘With your knowledge and interest in literature, I think I have a position that may appeal to you.’

  Delia was startled. This was news to her, but then again she had barely looked at Jennifer’s school reports.

  ‘What sort of position?’ she asked abruptly.

  ‘It’s in local government, as a local junior librarian.’

  ‘Surely she needs qualifications?’

  ‘The CILIP, that is the Chartered Institute of Libraries and Information Professionals, offer rewards for in-house experience and with training they can offer certification. This of course can eventually lead to managerial advancement, or work in other important sectors, such as museums, archives—’

  Impatiently Delia interrupted the man, ‘Yes, yes, I understand, but do you really think Jennifer has a chance of obtaining the position?’

  ‘Yes, I do,’ he said abruptly. ‘However, it depends of course on whether your daughter is interested in this kind of work.’

  Delia was annoyed to see that Jennifer was just staring at the man, her mouth agape. Far from appearing bright, the girl looked like an imbecile, and Delia snapped, ‘For goodness’ sake, Jennifer, buck up and answer the man.’

  ‘I…I’m sorry. It…it’s just so unexpected…but yes, I’d love to train as a librarian. It would be like a dream come true.’

  ‘Very well, I’ll arrange an interview and you’ll be notified in writing of the date and time.’

  Still looking dazed, Jennifer rose to her feet. ‘Tha…thank you.’

  ‘Yes, thank you,’ Delia echoed, feeling a little heady too as they left the room. She didn’t know what she’d expected; perhaps a junior position in an office at the most, but this outcome was far better. For once, when Delia smiled at Jennifer, it was with genuine warmth.

  ‘That went well,’ she commented. ‘Now we’ll just have to ensure that you’re successful at the interview.’

  Jennifer ignored her, instead turning to talk to Tina, who was waiting her turn, ‘You can go in now. I’ll wait for you.’

  ‘Great, see you soon,’ the girl said, hurrying in to see the adviser.

  Delia was annoyed. Jennifer knew she didn’t approve of Tina Hammond. ‘You’ll do no such thing,’ she said sharply. ‘There’s a stack of ironing waiting for you and you’ll walk home with me.’

  ‘I’m not a child. I’ve made my way home from school without escort for years so it’s a bit late to start now.’

  Delia heard the ring of sarcasm in Jennifer’s tone and bristled, her voice rising. ‘How dare you use that tone with me. Now come on, we’re leaving.’

  ‘No, Mother. I’ll do the ironing as soon as I get there, but I’ll be walking home with Tina.’

  A few heads turned, curious parents looking their way. Aware that they were causing a scene, Delia hissed, ‘Right, I’m going, but I’ll deal with you later and there’ll be more than ironing waiting for you.’

  ‘Yes, I’m sure there will,’ Jennifer said, sounding, for
the first time, unafraid.

  Delia couldn’t believe her ears, but she wasn’t going to continue this here. Though she was inwardly fuming, she haughtily walked away, her dignity intact as she left the building. It was as though Jennifer had transformed in front of her eyes, changing from a compliant child who always tried to please to an assured young woman. Not only that, an argumentative one, and Delia knew that unless she could reassert herself, this new development would make living with Jennifer intolerable. It was bad enough that she’d been forced to look at the girl for nearly sixteen years, but at least she had been able to feel that in her coldness towards Jennifer she was punishing Edward too.

  As Delia continued on her way home, her mouth was set in a tight line of annoyance. She had wanted rid of Jennifer as soon as possible, had planned for that, but then had been forced to put it off. Now, however, she set her mind to the problem again.

  At last, Delia came to realise that she could use this change in Jennifer’s attitude to her advantage. She had told Robin that Jennifer was a difficult baby, but now she could extend that period. If she set the trap carefully and it worked, Robin would see Jennifer in a new light.

  Delia expected to find her son home from college, and composed her face to one of sadness in readiness. Her new plan to get rid of Jennifer had to work. She would drive the girl out – but this time Robin wouldn’t threaten to leave home too. He’d be on her side, and Delia looked forward to going into battle now.

  Jennifer was no match for her and the girl would soon find that out.

  Chapter Eight

  Jenny was amazed that she’d stood up to her mother like that, but knew she’d suffer for it later. There’d be more than ironing to face – probably floors to scrub and other menial tasks lined up. Yet as she waited for Tina, she found her thoughts drifting back to her own interview with the careers adviser. If she could have chosen any job, it would have been in a library. She loved books, the smell of them, the feel of them in her hand and the anticipation of being enthralled by a story as she turned the first page. Many had taken her away from her unhappiness at home to another place and sometimes to another time. When would she hear about the interview? Would she be successful? But then Jenny’s bubble burst. A local library, the careers adviser had said, and she now saw the job slipping away. Tina wanted to move out of this area and she’d agreed. Oh, but to work in a library! For a moment Jenny wondered if she should change her mind, stay at home, at least until she’d completed her training.