Forgotten Child

by Kitty Neale

  Jenny was the last up and Nuala and her father smiled warmly when they saw her, the delicious smell of bacon cooking wafting from the kitchen.

  ‘Jenny, you’re just in time for breakfast,’ Nuala said.

  ‘Sorry, I didn’t realise it was gone nine.’

  ‘If you’re not used to it, ’tis the sea air. I slept in a bit too.’

  ‘As everyone would have the Irish say, top of the morning to you, Jenny,’ said Maeve as she came in from the kitchen. ‘Now, how about the pair of you giving me a hand?’

  ‘You wouldn’t think she’s the youngest, would you?’ Nuala said as they followed Maeve. ‘She sounds just like my mother.’

  ‘I’m only three years younger than you, and ’tis you who mothers everyone if you get the chance. I bet Kaitlin doesn’t get a look in with Aiden.’

  ‘Sure she does…well, when I’m not around.’

  Jenny listened to the banter, feeling almost at home in this cosy house. She took the plates as they were handed to her, and found she couldn’t wait to tuck in. The sea air may have made her sleep in, but it had also given her an appetite. When they sat down to eat she found the bacon perfect and crisp, and the egg cooked just right as she dipped thickly buttered bread into the yolk.

  Once her plate was clean, Jenny sat sipping a cup of tea and her eyes strayed to the window. It was another lovely day and she couldn’t wait to go out.

  ‘Nuala, after we’ve cleared up, do you mind if I go for a walk?’

  ‘You don’t have to ask my permission,’ Nuala gently admonished. ‘You’re on holiday and free to do what you like.’

  ‘That’s right, after all, Nuala isn’t your mammy,’ Maeve said, then blanched. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.’

  ‘That’s it, let Jenny know I’ve been talking about her,’ scolded Nuala.

  ‘It’s all right, I don’t mind, and as for Nuala being my mother, Maeve, I wish she was.’

  ‘Oh, Jenny, what a lovely thing to say,’ Nuala said as her eyes flooded with tears.

  ‘Now don’t start blabbing,’ Nuala’s father admonished. ‘I don’t know what’s the matter with the lot of you. Three women here now and not one of you’s poured me another cup of tea.’

  The emotional spell broken, they all laughed, and after helping to wash up Jenny was soon on her way down to the sea.

  ‘I’m sorry, Nuala, I spoke without thinking,’ Maeve said as the door closed behind Jenny.

  ‘It’s all right. Jenny didn’t seem to mind that I’d told you about her.’

  Maeve grinned. ‘She’d have to be desperate to want you for a mother.’

  ‘You cheeky…’

  ‘Sure, I’m only joking,’ Maeve interrupted hastily.

  ‘I hope you two are not going to keep this up for a week.’

  ‘No, Dada,’ they both chorused and then, like two young girls, they giggled.

  ‘Nuala, it’s lovely to have you here,’ Maeve said, meaning it. Most of her time was spent with her father, and to see her sister was a treat.

  Sometimes she envied the life Nuala had–a husband, children–and cursed that she’d been born with a deformed body. Few knew of her dreams, that one day a man would come into her life, one who would look at her without pity or disgust. She had accepted that it was never going to happen, yet still couldn’t help longing even at this age to know what it felt like to be held in a man’s arms, to be kissed, to be loved.

  ‘Here, Dada, take a look at my grandson,’ Nuala said, placing a photograph in his hands.

  He tilted it back and forwards, trying to focus on it, but Maeve knew he could see little now.

  ‘Yes, a fine boy,’ he said eventually, handing it back as though he’d taken a good look.

  ‘Talking of boys,’ Maeve said, ‘have your sons been home lately?’

  ‘No, they’re still in England, working, and not one of them shows any sign of getting married.’

  ‘They’ve plenty of time. They’re not in their thirties yet.’

  ‘Dada, one is and the others aren’t far off,’ Nuala told him.

  ‘’Tis a shame they’ve not seen Jenny,’ said Maeve. ‘She’s a pretty girl and if she married one of them she’d at least have you for a mother-in-law.’

  ‘There’s nothing I’d like better, but that’s just wishful thinking. Jenny will be gone soon, and I’m going to miss her.’

  ‘Where does she come from in England?’

  ‘I don’t know. She doesn’t say much about the family who adopted her, but I have a feeling she’s left a lot of unhappiness there.’

  ‘Well then, perhaps you could persuade her to stay.’

  ‘That would be grand, but her home is in England, not here, and as I said, she’ll soon be going back to it.’

  ‘Is it time for my whiskey yet?’

  ‘No, Dada, you’ve only just had your breakfast,’ Maeve told him, used to his constant requests, along with Nuala talking of her strange feelings. Still, it was very obvious that her sister was fond of Jenny and no doubt there’d be a few tears when she left.

  Jenny saw steps leading down to the beach and decided to walk on the sand. It wasn’t the holiday season yet and there weren’t that many people about, but Nuala was right, the reef did protect the bay from the force of the Atlantic. She went down to the water’s edge, took off her shoes and began to head along the wet sand towards what she’d been told was Donegal Point.

  Deep in thought, Jenny continued to walk, the beach becoming almost deserted the further she strolled. She should have written to her father, told him she was coming back, but it hardly seemed worth it now–she’d probably arrive before the letter. As she took in the scenery, though she’d made up her mind to go to Essex, a part of Jenny still wanted to stay in Ireland, even more so now that she had seen Kilkee.

  What was it about this place, Jenny wondered. Just then she saw a lone child in the distance who seemed to be searching for something in the sand. There were three people at the top of the beach chatting and the child probably belonged to one of them, Jenny decided as her thoughts now turned back to her father and the prospect of living with him in Essex.

  Sand had gathered between her toes and, bending down, Jenny endeavoured to get it out, moving away from the damp sand to dry her feet. She paused to look out to sea, wondering if she would spot dolphins, but could see nothing. She wasn’t even sure it was the right time of year. She’d have to ask Nuala’s father when she went back, but for now, she continued to walk.

  Jenny was close to the little girl now, the child still searching the sand, her hair a mass of dark, wind-blown curls. She had found something and looked up now, smiling with delight when she saw Jenny.

  ‘Erin, Erin,’ she cried, holding up a large shell, ‘look what I’ve found.’

  ‘It’s lovely,’ Jenny said, about to explain that her name wasn’t Erin when a young woman came hurtling down the beach towards them.

  ‘Faith, you know you shouldn’t talk to…’ she shouted, skidding a halt.

  From that moment everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Their eyes met, and Jenny found that looking at the young woman’s face was like seeing her own reflection.

  For a moment both stood frozen, neither of them able to believe what they were seeing, but then the little girl’s voice broke the spell.

  ‘Erin, I thought she was you. She looks just like you.’

  ‘How can this be?’ Erin asked.

  ‘I…I don’t know,’ Jenny said, unable to tear her eyes away from Erin.

  ‘You’re so like me you could be my twin.’

  Surely it wasn’t possible, Jenny thought. They couldn’t be twins, but nevertheless she blurted out, ‘You…you weren’t adopted, were you?’

  ‘Yes, I was…No, don’t tell me you were too?’

  Jenny nodded, and now, taking the little girl’s hand, Erin stammered, ‘I…I think we need to talk about this.’

  Jenny walked beside her up the beach, finding that her head
kept turning to look at Erin. Every time she did so, as though they were in unison, Erin was looking at her too. Was it possible? Jenny thought. Were they twins? Was this the reason that she had always felt that something was missing in her life?

  As they approached the two young lads that Erin had been with, their mouths gaped.

  ‘I know,’ she said, ‘it’s strange, but take Faith home, will you? We’ll talk about this later.’

  Looking as bewildered as Jenny felt, they led the child away, while Jenny still felt she was dreaming. Alone now, the two of them began to compare things, finding many similarities, their shared birthday being the most significant.

  ‘Oh, Jenny, we need to sort this out, but I think you really are my twin sister,’ Erin said, and spontaneously they fell into each other’s arms.

  Jenny clung to Erin. ‘Now I’ve found you, it feels like I’ve always missed you.’

  ‘And I you.’

  Jenny knew there were a lot more questions to be asked–how they had been adopted into different families for one–but for now all she wanted was to hold her sister and never let her go.

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  Nuala was beginning to get really worried now. It was four in the afternoon and Jenny had been out since just after ten that morning.

  ‘Will you stop fretting?’ Maeve chided. ‘She’s not a little girl, she’s a young woman.’

  ‘I know, but what if she’s lost?’

  ‘She has our address and only has to ask for directions.’

  ‘Yes, yes, but…’

  Nuala paused as there was a knock on the door, and hurried to open it, her hand clutching at her heart in shock, while her eyes went from one to the other. This couldn’t be. It was only the slightly darker shade of hair and style, along with their clothes that separated them.

  ‘Yes, I know,’ Jenny said in understanding. ‘I felt the same. This…this is Erin, my twin sister.’

  ‘Holy Mother of God,’ Nuala gasped. ‘Come in, come in. Maeve! Maeve, you’ve got to see this.’

  ‘Well I never, I thought there was something,’ Maeve said, as her eyes finally settled on Erin, ‘but I didn’t expect a twin. Do you live in Kilkee?’

  ‘No, but my aunt does and I’ve often been here to visit her.’

  ‘Of course, that’s it. Your auntie must be Corinne Feeby.’

  ‘Yes, that’s right, though of course she isn’t my real aunt. Like Jenny, I was adopted.’

  ‘Nuala, it’s like a miracle,’ Jenny said as she stood grasping her sister’s hand. ‘Erin is here on holiday, but she’ll be leaving tomorrow. If…if I hadn’t driven you here, if I hadn’t gone for a walk on the beach today, we might never have met.’

  ‘Now laugh at my feelings, Maeve,’ said Nuala.

  ‘You said it was to do with Dada, not this.’

  ‘I know, I know, but now I think I was meant to bring Jenny here.’

  ‘Will you stop talking daft?’ her father said. ‘And with four women in me house now I need a drop of whiskey.’

  Nuala poured him one, thinking that though her dada might think her daft, she, like Jenny, felt that a miracle had happened–that she had been used as some sort of instrument to bring these two girls together. Tears welled in her eyes. She felt so privileged and, inwardly, Nuala prayed to the Holy Mother in thanks.

  The old man had dozed off after a large glass of whiskey, and after telling Nuala and Maeve everything they’d found out and gone through some of the questions that still needed to be answered, Jenny waved goodbye to Erin. She wasn’t sad, knowing she’d be seeing her sister again in the morning, when the only sadness then would be in saying goodbye to Nuala.

  ‘I just don’t understand why your father sent you off in the wrong direction,’ Nuala now said.

  ‘Nor do I, but I intend to find out, and that’s the least of it. He told me that my mother was a distant relative and that was why he adopted me, but why leave Erin behind? I’ve always thought there was something missing in my life, but I never dreamed I had a twin and it seems so cruel that he never told me.’

  ‘Yes, it does, and I still think it’s amazing that you bumped into each other,’ said Maeve. ‘But God is good, and though it took Him some time, He managed to bring you together.’

  ‘Well, will you listen to that,’ Nuala snorted. ‘So, Maeve, you believe me now?’

  ‘Yes, all right, don’t go on about it!’

  ‘Now that’s enough!’ said their father, waking up. ‘A man needs a bit of peace in his home. As for Jenny finding her sister, I just hope they don’t bicker all the time like you two.’

  ‘Sorry, Dada,’ Maeve and Nuala chorused, and then they both collapsed with laughter.

  Jenny found their good humour infectious and joined in, the old man trying to shout above the noise, ‘Will one of you get me a whiskey!’

  It was some time before he got it. Erin was up early the next morning, all packed and ready to go. She had only known happiness with her adoptive parents, John and Margaret Brown, and she loved her two younger brothers. They had come along after her adoption, surprising her mother who had thought she was unable to have children. It hadn’t made any difference to Erin, she had still been treated like their beloved daughter, her home life a happy one. It would be a wrench to leave, but she was also joyful that she and Jenny had found each other. She knew that the boys were rarely up early, so had said her goodbyes last night, telling them that she’d be home again soon.

  ‘Mammy, ’tis strange you didn’t know that I had a twin.’

  ‘It isn’t really. The nuns didn’t tell me.’

  ‘Your Mammy was desperate for children and if she’d known, she’d have adopted the pair of you,’ said Erin’s Aunt Corinne. ‘Yes, that’s true. I think it’s cruel that you were separated.’

  ‘Mammy, where did you adopt me from?’

  ‘From a place in County Cork, a home for unmarried mothers.’

  ‘That’s funny. Jenny said she was adopted from a home in the Limerick area.’

  ‘I agree, tis odd.’

  ‘Are you sure you don’t mind me going to England?’

  ‘I’ll miss you, but I can understand why you want to go.’

  ‘Dada said the same when I rang him last night. It’s just that I feel I have to meet this man, the one who adopted Jenny. She said he’s some sort of distant relation.

  ‘Well then, I suppose you have to go.’

  ‘Bye, Mammy,’ Erin choked, hugging her mother and then her aunt. She had never been apart from her mother before, but she was also excited at the prospect of seeing Jenny again. ‘Make sure you ring me regularly, Erin.’

  ‘Yes, Mammy, I promise I will,’ she said, then picked up her case to hurry out. Jenny was expecting her and she didn’t want to be late. Erin felt a thrill of excitement. She had a sister. A twin sister and it still felt like a dream.

  Jenny felt that her emotions were on a rollercoaster. Tears when saying goodbye to Nuala, and Maeve too, had already touched her heart. Then she had felt pure joy when Erin got into the car beside her and they set off. She had driven to so many places in Ireland, always alone, but she didn’t feel alone any more.

  The sisters chatted during the drive, finding they had so much in common, not least their sense of humour. Jenny felt complete, that the missing something she had always been aware of was now sitting beside her. Then, during a quiet spell when they were just content in each other’s company, the questions arose again in her mind, the ones her father had to answer.

  ‘How did you learn to drive?’ Erin asked. ‘It’s something I’ve wanted to do, but the lessons have to be paid for and I haven’t been able to afford it.’

  Jenny told her, Erin gasping as she listened until at last she had heard everything.

  ‘So, you see, I thought I was married but I wasn’t.’

  Erin was sympathetic, especially about losing the baby, and asked a few more questions about Marcos. ‘So you were left with nothing?’

  �
�Oh, I wouldn’t say that. I’ve still money in my bank account and jewellery to sell.’

  ‘Well, Jenny, it seems we are different in two things.’

  ‘Really! I think we’re identical.’

  ‘In looks, yes. But one, I’m broke, and two, I’m still a virgin.’

  Jenny laughed, Erin too, the two of them so happy in each other’s company. It was a long drive though, and they decided to stop en route for the night, settling down in a twin room.

  ‘Jenny?’ whispered Erin before they both drifted off to sleep.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I already love you so much.’

  ‘And I you too,’ Jenny said, smiling sleepily. It had been a long time since she had felt this happy, her pain at Marcos’s betrayal fading to insignificance in the light of finding Erin. How could she mourn a man she had never really known, the one she had thought she loved having been just a shadow? She would always mourn the loss of her baby, but hoped she would one day have others. For now Jenny was just content with this–with having her sister beside her, their connection so strong that she knew it would never be broken again.

  Chapter Fifty-Six

  Edward opened his door on Thursday evening and blinked. No, no, this wasn’t possible!

  ‘You look surprised, Dad,’ Jenny said as she stepped inside, her twin sister behind her. ‘I don’t know why though. You must have known about Erin.’

  Edward’s mind had frozen, his throat constricted and heart beating like a drum in his chest as he gripped the arm of a chair and sat down. Jenny looked so cool, so composed, her twin identical, both looking at him, both waiting for him to speak. He couldn’t, not a word, as the questions continued from Jenny.