by Shady Grace
Now he regretted how good it felt to be with her. How soft and supple her body felt beneath him. How she looked up at him and moaned with every thrust. How she wrapped her arms around him with something that felt like trust.
What the hell am I doing?
He pulled the bedspread up and tucked it around her shoulder, covering a body he would love to have beside him every night, and those beautiful imploring eyes that went with it.
“In this business you have to shut yourself off.” His father’s words repeated in his mind.
He wished he could block out every word his father had ever said, but he couldn’t. It was time to be who he was supposed to be, whether he liked it or not.
Terry leaned down and kissed her forehead, gently ran his hand over her soft hair, etching everything about her in his tormented mind. Once he slipped on his jacket, he left the note on the bedside table and left the room. The click of the door behind him felt like the last tick of a time bomb.
He hated himself for leaving her like this. Like some cheap floozy he picked up off the street. But he knew if he waited until she woke up, she’d find a way to convince him to stay. She needed to be safe, because where he was going would be hell for a good woman like her.
If somebody was going to follow him and kill him, then he would do it alone. He would accept it like a man.
It took nearly two hours to finally locate the road and that jeep. He considered himself lucky he didn’t take the wrong turn and got lost out here in the middle of nowhere. He’d probably die out here, and he would deserve it.
As the jeep exploded into flames, with the driver at the wheel, Terry wondered why his old man chose this life for them. Maybe Terry could’ve went to college or university. Maybe he could’ve made something of himself. Holding a gun in his hand didn’t feel exciting anymore—it felt like a meaningless duty.
He felt like a teacher who didn’t want to open those books anymore.
He drove all night.
As headlights blurred past him on the highway, he thought about the many mistakes he’d made. He shouldn’t have left home. He shouldn’t have taken advantage of her. Now his father was dead and a business he never wanted had been thrust into his hands.
Life was unfair at the best of times.
All he wanted was time away with a woman who intrigued him. A woman so different than anybody else, he couldn’t get her out of his mind. Well, now he’d ruined what could’ve been something good, whether it became permanent or not. She made him feel good and now it was over.
After eleven hours on the road and a ferry ride to the island, he was tired as hell and in terrible spirits.
The moment he walked into his father’s home, he went straight to the study and took his anger out on anything within reach. He grabbed the filing cabinet, tore it from the mount, and threw it across the room. Documents scattered across the floor.
Furious and shaking and hating his life, he picked up the framed picture of he and his father when he was a little boy, when his mother was still alive. She had taken the picture.
Colton’s arm was draped proudly over Terry’s shoulder. They were both smiling.
A sob tore from his throat. Hot tears slipped down his cheeks as he remembered, a long time ago, life had been good.
How times have changed.
Tight in his grip, he carried the picture to the liquor cabinet. Gingerly, he set it down in front of him, opened a bottle of fine whiskey and tipped it to his mouth—his gaze still fastened on his father in the picture.
He didn’t know how long he stood there, staring at the picture, remembering his life up until now, but it was long enough to polish off the bottle. He stumbled back then forward. His vision blurred.
“Fuck you, Colton,” he whispered painfully.
Then he picked up the picture and smashed it into the garbage can.
Chapter 8
Men.
You can live without them, and you can shoot them—if you want to go to prison.
Right now, Mary wanted to take her trusty old rifle and use Terry for target practice, but she didn’t want the orange jumpsuit.
She’d never been more embarrassed in her life when she left the hotel room the next morning, wearing the same clothes as the day before.
She may be a country bumpkin, but she knew what the walk of shame meant.
Even though she’d tried to sneak away, the housekeeper walked by right at the worst moment. But rather than laugh at or be disgusted, the young woman said, “Good for you,” and smiled before she walked away.
She couldn’t hide. Couldn’t shield herself from this town and these people, or their gossip. Hadn’t she suffered enough already? Terry had no idea what he did to her when he left her alone. Apparently he didn’t listen when she told him how these people treated her since Tom’s death. Was he that much of a selfish idiot?
Now she was a husband killer and a whore.
She slammed his note down onto the table under her living room window and screamed out her frustration. Then she picked the note back up, and reread it again, trying not to cry for the hundredth time. Five days had passed since he disappeared, and she couldn’t sleep or eat or think of anything but him and what the note meant.
She had been so caught up in her torment she almost phoned every McCoy in the phone book in his city, which would be a complete waste of time and foolhardy. She couldn’t imagine criminals being listed in the directory, but Terry did mention he operated a hotel. It couldn’t be too hard to find out which one.
Still, she couldn’t go through with it.
She was alone again. Even after she’d said he was better off leaving, now she felt truly bereft.
Dear Mary,
I never meant to hurt you, and I didn’t come here to use you. Please believe me. Don’t let fear stop you from doing whatever you want in life, because you deserve the world. I don’t. I only had you for one night, but it felt like a lifetime. I have to do what I was born to do. I have no choice.
Forever yours,
Terry
She set the note back down and stared at the dogs outside. They all stared toward the window, ears perked, probably wondering why their quiet and good-natured master was screaming at them like a lunatic. They had no idea how badly a few words could rip a heart out.
Forever yours.
Yeah, right.
If one night felt like a lifetime to him then how could he leave? How could he make her feel wonderful then take off without even saying goodbye properly?
It was her own fault for thinking it was just sex, because it wasn’t. It quickly became far more than that. When he touched her she felt like she meant everything to him. Her body had come alive. Her soul had felt uplifted. And no matter how corny it seemed, she didn’t think she’d ever find another man who could make her feel that way.
Terry had branded her. He’d made her his without even trying.
He’d come here to spend time alone with her, and in the process they were shot at, had sex like desperate strangers in a hotel room, then he took off. Could she handle another broken heart?
She may not have been heartbroken over Tom’s death, but she still hurt. He hurt her then he left her. Terry made love to her and left her. That was worse.
She hung her head and cried. Really cried. What was she supposed to do now?
A loud rap on the back door made her jump. She quickly wiped her eyes and took a deep head-clearing breath.
Maybe it was Terry. Maybe he changed his mind and came back for her. She ran to the door, but when Mary whipped it open, she couldn’t hide her disappointment. There stood Gabe and Mima, holding hands like a perfect, happy couple. She bit back a sob of complete depression.
“Is Terry still here? I have something important to tell him and it should be said in person,” Gabe said, completely unaware of her stricken grief. But Mima stared at her hard. She knew something was wrong.
Ignoring Mima’s intent eyes, Mary shook her head at Gabe and c
leared her throat. “I’m afraid not. He left without warning five days ago. I’m a little baffled and pissed off myself.”
“So he knows already.” Gabe hung his head and Mima put her arm around his waist to comfort him. “Son of a bitch. He shouldn’t have went back without me. I just got the message today because of that pathetic radio.”
Mary frowned, confused by the pain written all over Gabe’s face. She’d never seen him like that before. “What’s going on? He knows what already?”
“His father was murdered five days ago.”
All the breath departed Mary’s lungs. Her knees threatened to buckle. Immediately she thought back to the night they shared at the hotel. He started acting strange after his conversation on the phone with that woman. Everything made sense now. Why he seemed angry and lost, why he made love to her with such raw passion, almost as if he needed her to love him.
As if he’d never see her again.
Maybe they were fools for letting things go too far. But she couldn’t take it back now. She couldn’t stop her feelings. After everything she’d gone through, and how hurt she was by his sudden departure, she felt horrible for him.
“Come in. I’ll make us some drinks. I think we all need it.”
As the three of them gathered around the kitchen table, Mary couldn’t help staring at the diamond on Mima’s finger. Just a few months ago they had simple lives. Now everything seemed completely different. They were different people now. These hardened men blew into their lives and changed everything.
She didn’t feel like the same woman anymore, and after her night with Terry in the hotel, she didn’t want to go back to her old self. She rummaged through the cupboards as Mima and Gabe took a seat at the table. “All I have is wine. It’ll have to do I guess.”
“Wine is fine. Better than nothing,” Gabe added.
Once everybody had a glass filled to the rim, Mary looked square at Gabe. “I’m going to show you something, and please don’t think the worst of me.” She got up and retrieved Terry’s note then handed it to Gabe.
She noticed his worried demeanor change to something like curiosity before he set the paper down and shook his head. “I knew he was a softy. What a tard.”
“Honey!” Mima elbowed him in the ribs and ripped the paper out of his enormous hand. After she read the note, a knowing smile crossed her cute face. “Oooh. I knew it. I saw the way he looked at you at my cabin. He wanted you.” Her dark eyes narrowed, but they gleamed with excitement as well. “And you’re upset that he’s gone. I knew it when you answered the door.”
Gabe’s jaw dropped and he fired a warning glance at Mima, although it wasn’t mean in nature. “That’s enough out of you. You can’t know everything.”
“You never mind, Mister. I know what I saw. Female intuition is a force not to be argued with.”
Mary watched the two across from her, and couldn’t contain a smile of envy. They were perfect for each other. Gabe, so huge and dangerous, and Mima, tiny, yet tough as nails, had what Mary wanted. They looked at each other as if that mountain a mile away could crash down around them and they’d never notice its path of destruction.
Contentment. That’s what they had. Mary wanted to know what it felt like to be content, to be truly happy, to look at a man and be unaware of the world around them.
And passion. She wanted more passion too.
With her attention divided between Gabe and Mima, and her rioting thoughts of Terry, Mary’s gaze wandered around the room. As much as she loved this kitchen and its simple country style with beautiful, hand crafted cupboards, she wanted more than all this simplicity. She wanted to feel excitement. She needed a sense of glamor, to know what it felt like to wear a shimmering dress like in those magazines. Have her hair done in a ritzy salon. To be able to run in heels without breaking her face.
She chuckled to herself over the mental image.
Terry would laugh at her, too. Then he’d offer his hand and help her off the polished tiled floor of an immaculate ballroom and swing her around like a princess.
She shook off the silly idea and faced Mima, whose brow arched high in curiosity.
“What?” Mary took a long pull of the red wine, thinking about her options, and trying damn hard not to blush over Mima’s probing stare.
“What are you thinking about?”
Mary looked away from her best friend and halted at her collection of historical romance, remembering how Terry had asked in a deep, sensual tone if she was a damsel in distress.
“I’m thinking about a dress.” And finding Terry and stripping him naked. Baring his body and his soul for me to dissect.
“A dress?” Mima looked at Gabe before Mary, her expression puzzled. “For what?”
Mary sighed deeply and took another sip of wine. “The fairy tale. But I’m the one who has to do the chasing.”
Gabe shook his head, his expression completely baffled and hilarious. “I don’t understand you women.”
“Maybe I’m crazy, but I’m going to go to the city. Aside from the animals and you guys, there’s nothing here for me. At least, not right now.”
Gabe looked confused. He glanced over to Mima who gave him a nudge on the shoulder.
Mary shrugged, but she felt her cheeks heat. “I think I need a change in scenery. Well, it’s much more than that, but a change is definitely what I need. Will you two watch my babies and the house for a while?”
Mima reached across the table and took Mary’s hands in hers. “Of course we will.”
“We will?” Gabe echoed.
“Yes. We will,” Mima said sternly, then winked at Mary. “Mary has a man to go after.”
Mary didn’t realize how lost a big man like Gabe acted when Mima was around. Maybe she wore the pants in their little mountain house. Either that or her little mountain buddy constantly distracted him.
Finally Gabe’s eyes widened as it suddenly dawned on him what she meant. “Oh, fuck. You can’t go there.” He took a healthy drink and Mary could see his mind was skipping a mile a minute.
“You know Terry came here to check up on me right after Tom died. Then he suddenly stopped coming. I always wondered why. Then he came back again, and, well, you read the note. Maybe I did something wrong before. Maybe he wasn’t really interested. . . .”
Gabe shook his head. “Let me tell you something about Terry. Remember when I first came here and offered you money to babysit? You said he was probably a player and didn’t feel comfortable with him staying here, right?”
She nodded, embarrassed by what she’d said that day. She hadn’t even given Terry a chance. He was probably as lost as she was in life, except she could decide her actions day-by-day. Terry didn’t have the same luxury. He was forced to do his father’s bidding, and forced again to run the show now.
“Terry never was a player, Mary. Sure he’d had a few flings, he’s a man after all, but he’d never take advantage of a woman—not intentionally. He lost his mother at a young age and he loved her dearly. His entire life has reflected around pleasing his father and doing everything to keep the business in good standing. That shows dedication and loyalty. If he came here to spend time with you, then it meant something to him.”
He brought me carnations. His mother’s favorite.
“And now his father is gone and he’s in charge of something he doesn’t want,” Mary added, feeling like she was about to climb a mountain without any equipment. But she’d do it if it meant saving Terry from a lifetime of heartache.
But chasing after him when somebody already tried to kill him twice would be like knocking on death’s door. She just hoped she had the nerve and the strength to go there, make her peace with Terry, and come out standing tall. She had to. If she didn’t she’d go crazy wondering what could’ve happened. She’d never forgive herself for not taking a chance, because she sure as hell wasn’t getting anywhere around here.
“You’re gonna be walking into dangerous territory, Mary. I don’t think—”
Gabe and Mima both blurted, “What?”
“You didn’t know? I figured he would’ve told you already. Anyway, I got a call for a nuisance beaver and some lunatic started shooting at us and tried to drive us off the road. Terry killed him. We ended up at a hotel that night.”
Gabe released a disgruntled breath and shook his head. “So it’s true. Somebody really does want him dead. Fuck sakes.”
After long minutes of strained silence, Gabe reached into his inside coat pocket and pulled out an envelope. “Here, if you’re going to the city, then you’re going to need this.”
“What is it?”
He slid the envelope across the table. When Mary tore open the flap and saw a large wad of one-hundred dollar bills, her jaw dropped. “Gabe, I can’t take this. I didn’t exactly babysit him.”
“Well, apparently you did. Think of it as a reward for helping the team.” He smiled at Mima who turned pale, then glanced back at Mary, his expression tight with worry. “If things don’t work out as you plan, then you’ll need some money to go elsewhere. I mean it. Once you show your face, you may become a target yourself.”
Mary cleared her throat. She hadn’t really thought about that. But she wasn’t going to turn back now. She had to do this. “Are you sure?”
He nodded. “Absolutely.”
“It’s a lot of money.”
“To you, sure. To me, not much.”
The excitement and fear of the unknown made her whole body vibrate. “I’ve never really gone anywhere before, aside from college, and that was a long time ago. I don’t even know what to do in the city.”
Gabe reached over the table and patted her hand. “Don’t you worry. I’ll have it all covered.”
She was really beginning to like this man. “How?”
Gabe glanced at Mima and made an apologetic face, before he focused his attention back to Mary. “Because I’m going with you.”
* * * *