“Or maybe not,” he teases. Reaching around, he unhooks my bra and caresses my breasts that are aching for his touch as my body grinds shamelessly against him, begging for relief.
Only tuxedo pants and lace panties separate us. Feeling him hard as granite makes me want him more. His arousal is evidence of his desire for me, and it empowers me to know I can push him past the breaking point.
Tonight, I feel bold, like a desired woman, standing before a man in nothing more than panties and heels. Unsure where my new found inner vixen is coming from, I’m assuming it’s the effect of him on my body. His eyes. His hands. His mouth. A heady mix of tender and greedy.
I turn around, and he stops, spinning me back against the window. He reaches down and tears my panties aside to find me already dripping for him.
After testing me, slowly dragging his finger back and forth he adds another, stretching me.
“Piers, please,” I beg, pushing back on his hand before he removes it. Before I can beg again, he lines up at my entrance and pushes in on a moan. The only sounds are harsh breaths and the slapping of skin.
I look up to find our reflection in the fogged window, and I see him behind me, carnal and raw. This isn’t exactly how I imagined our reunion would be. He looks up in the window and meets my gaze, and it’s as if something in him shifts, and he senses it too.
“Not like this.” He slowly withdraws, and I whimper, nearly losing my balance, catching myself on the cold glass before righting myself. My arms slapping across my chest to cover up, the vixen no more.
He reaches to steady me, and I shy away from his touch. “Oh, Willow, what have I done?”
Turning back towards the window, he runs his hands through his hair. “Please just talk to me.”
“You can go now.” I move to walk past him.
“I hurt you? Didn’t I? I knew I would be too rough. I knew I needed you too bad; I wouldn’t be able to control it.” His words stop me in my tracks. He doesn’t regret it?
“You didn’t hurt my body, no. Your rejection is what hurts.” I try to explain as he takes me in his arms, carrying me to the bed, and gently lays me down, pressing a kiss to my forehead. What is usually an endearing show of affection feels like a delicate brush off.
Shame heats my face thinking about how I threw myself at him, and his reaction was regret. I don’t have experience with things like this. I just wanted to please him, wanted to be near him. I’m drawn to him like a moth to the flame; the risk of getting burned is worth it. I can’t help it.
He pulls the covers over me, and I hear him say to himself, one more time, “What have I done?” before he all but runs from the room.
He’s my North Star. I always gravitate towards him, even when I don’t want to. I roll onto my side, pulling my legs up, and curl into a ball. I want to cry, I need to cry. I will the tears to come, to drain my pain out, drop by salty drop. They don’t come. But sleep does.
I dream about being lost at sea. One minute I’m in a large ship, complete with white sails gliding through tranquil waters, the sun shining. And the next, I’m in a small life boat, being tossed around by dark, angry waves. They keep crashing up over me until finally I’m falling, sinking beneath the depths. When I reach the bottom, I blink and see light slicing through the water. Something next to me catches my eyes and I realize it’s a compass. My hands struggle to grasp it amidst the sand and rock. My lungs burn as I grip it, unsure of what to do next.
I close my eyes, waiting for the darkness to swallow me whole. But it never comes. Instead I feel myself being pulled through the water, rescued. “Willow.”
Opening my eyes, I see lights. Warm, glowing lights, like the sun. Focusing my eyes, I find deep green staring back at me. Wiggling my fingers, I search for the compass but find nothing in my hands except a twisted cotton sheet. Sitting up, I see I’m not in a boat, I’m in my bed, at Everlend and Piers is here too. “Piers?”
It’s not the warmth of sunlight on my face but the light of candles littered all around the room, glowing, casting their warm ambient light.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
PIERS
“Willow.” I say her name once more, rousing her from a dream. She struggles before relaxing into my hold and opening her eyes.
“Piers?” Her voice is raspy with the remnants of slumber as she focuses her eyes on me.
“Yes, Willow. It’s me, Piers. I’m here.” I climb into the bed, sitting next her. I’ll always be here.
Her gaze shifts around the room, taking in the candles. She sits up, putting her back against the ornate wooden headboard and a little space between us. She’s quiet, and her eyes look everywhere but mine, so I tell her a story. The truth.
“I used to sneak into your room at night.” This gets her attention. She watches me but doesn’t say anything. “I would climb the trellis under your window and come in to watch you sleep.”
“Why not just walk down the hall and through the door?” She whispers, a hint of a smile on her lips.
“Now where is the fun in that? The sense of adventure?” I tease her. “How could I slay your dragons if I didn’t climb your tower?” My hands reach out to take hold of one of hers, and a sigh of relief leaves my lips as she lets me. “Plus it was locked; I checked.” She bites her lip, struggling to keep hold of a smile.
“But, I would sit in this room. Sometimes I stayed at the window, afraid to get too close, afraid to touch you, just watching the moonlight illuminate your porcelain skin. On those nights, I was sure you were in fact an angel, and I would pray to you. I was certain you must journey back to heaven in your dreams, up beyond the clouds and farther than the stars. So I would send messages to my dad with you. Tell him about my day, how much I missed him. Tell him about you.” She has tears in her eyes now, but she remains still and quiet, so I continue before I lose my nerve.
“Other nights, I would dare to get closer and sit at the foot of your bed, heart pounding at the thought that James might come in and find me, send me away. But the risk to be near you was worth it. I needed to study your face, memorize you in case you left me too.” My heart beats heavy in my chest, and I struggle to prevent my voice from shaking.
“So I touched your cheek and held your hand, careful not to wake you. I couldn’t do it in the day because the others might see. They might’ve teased me or known how much I needed you. And that was dangerous because at a young age, I learned if someone knew something was valuable to you, if they knew your weakness, they could exploit you, hurt you with the thing that you loved the most.” She blinks, and her tears fall as I pour out my heart in an attempt to make her understand.
“Little did I know, James could see it. And the older we got, the more obvious it became, not just my feelings for you but your feelings for me. They all saw it. James, Wendy, Scarlett, Teddy, everyone. By that time, we had pledged ourselves to one another, and it didn’t matter; we were going to be together. Then everything went wrong. But then it happened…you left.”
She chokes out a sob, and I pull her to me, cradling her face in my hands. “I’m not saying this to make you sad. I need you to know that I worshipped you as a boy before love and lust and all those other feelings took up residence in my mind and body. I loved you innocently in my heart. You were my friend. You became my first love, my only love.” My eyes gaze into hers, my thumbs caressing her tear stained cheekbones.
“I know you’re scared. I am too. I need you to understand if we go forward, it has to be forever. I can’t risk losing you again. When I lose you, I lose myself, and I’m a million times more lost than I was before.”
“Out there in the garden, I was a man consumed by a woman. I needed your touch more than my next breath. When you said there had been no one else, I hated myself for being so careless with you and for knowing I didn’t have the same gift of innocence to return to you. You were feeling insecure, but it’s me who’s not worthy, Willow. Me.”
“Shhh.” She wraps the sheet around her and climbs int
o my lap, and I look at her, needing to say it all now. Before we go forward.
“Knowing I was the only one to ever touch you pleases me more than you could imagine. I handled it all wrong. I just needed a second to think, to catch my breath, to get my desire under control. But you left before I could explain.” She rests her forehead against mine, and drapes her arms around my neck.
The sheet falls down around her waist between us. I feel her bare chest pressed against mine, lighting my body on fire, but my eyes never leave hers. “Then I came up here, determined to take it slow, to worship your body...and I saw you standing there in that window, the moonlight on your skin, tears on your face. I just wanted to make you mine. To ingrain myself on you, in you, the way you are in me. And once again, I lost control. I’m sorry, but I’m even more sorry that it made you doubt how much I desire you.”
“I want you too much, Willow. I always have. And I’m afraid once I take you, there will be no going back. I’m tired of climbing towers to get to you, I want to stay in the tower, locked away with you. In some ways I’ve stayed locked in this tower, in this very room at Everlend, waiting, hoping, that maybe you would come rescue me. And you have.” My hands move to her hips, drawing her closer to me before moving up, along her rib cage, until my thumbs barely brush the underside of her breasts. Her lips part just slightly, and she moves against me. “Don’t leave me here Willow. Please, don’t leave me again. Either stay locked up with me, or take me with you.”
My lips hover over hers, trembling. “Like my note said after that night in the garden...like the story says, about waiting. In the place between sleep and awake? That’s where I’ve been, Willow. Since you left. I’ve been waiting here, waiting for you.”
Her mouth closes the distance, pressing to mine. “Take me, Piers.” She whispers the words in between kisses. “I’m yours. I always have been. I always will be. Gardens or towers, raindrops or candlelight, soft and slow or losing control, I don’t care. As long as I’m with you. I love you. I never stopped.” Her head angles up toward me, and I take control, deepening the kiss.
Gripping her hips, I shift and lay her back on the bed, her creamy skin glowing with candlelight. I take a minute and just drink her in – arms open at her sides, her thighs falling open for me, lips swollen from my kisses. She’s naked before me, but it’s me who feels exposed. Moving back, I stand and remove my tux pants and my boxers before climbing back onto the edge of the bed. Our eyes lock on one another.
Starting at her feet, I trace my fingertips up her soles, around her ankles. Taking my time, climbing between her legs, my fingertips caress her calves and gently scrape the back of her knees. Her legs fall open wider, and my aching flesh is pressed up against hers.
My hands continue their journey, around her hips, across her navel and up her ribs. Committing her to memory but not because I’m afraid of losing her. Only so I can see this, feel this, when I close my eyes. My hands palm her breasts, heavier than the last time I touched them while making love, having nursed our son. I notice her hips are fuller too, and she has some tiny white lines on her abdomen, evidence of having carried a child, giving life, making me a father. Making us a family.
Her body has never looked more perfect. Breaking eye contact, I lower my mouth and trace the tiny lines with my tongue. She shivers against my mouth, and her body moves against mine. My erection is now throbbing and pressed at her entrance. But, I’m not done worshipping her with my hands just yet.
Moving past her breast, my palms massage her shoulders and neck while my mouth finds her breast, and I swirl my tongue over the tight buds, one then the other. She moans with pleasure, and my hips buck into her. Looking up, I see her with her wild red hair splayed on the pillow around her as she’s watching me. I kiss my way up her chest, across her collar bone and around her neck. Wet opened-mouth kisses, teasing her, devouring her. Her taste is addicting and her scent intoxicating.
When my mouth finally finds hers again, she’s quivering beneath me. I could spend hours more kissing her, making love to her with my mouth and my hands, but I need to be inside her. Drawing back, so our eyes remained connected, I tell her the words that have been hanging on the tip of my tongue since I saw her again. “I love you, Willow.” And with that I allow myself to gently slide between her wet folds, sinking into her and a pleasure that is unimaginable. She moans out as I begin to move, and she matches my pace. Her head falls back, and I close my eyes and worship her body with my own. And when I do, I can see her eyes looking at me with love.
I lose all sense of time as we lay wrapped up in each other making love slow and gently. I feel her shudder beneath me, and I know that she’s close. Picking up the pace, I take her where she needs to be. When she explodes around me, crying out my name into the quiet night, I can barely contain myself.
“Piers!”
I follow, my own orgasm on the heels of hers. I pour everything I have into her as she wraps her legs around me, pulling me closer. I lose myself in her. It’s very different from being lost without her. I never want to be found.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
WILLOW
Yawning, I stretch and feel the delightful ache between my thighs, reminding me of the night we shared. Dancing, fighting, loving and more loving. Rolling over, I’m disappointed to find that he’s gone. My hand rubs the spot where his body slept next to mine, finding it still warm. He can’t have been gone long.
Snuggling over on his pillow, I pull the sheet around me, breathing in his scent. When I open my eyes, I see a note.
Willow,
Waking up with you in my arms was the most wonderful feeling, one that I’ll never tire of. Please forgive me for slipping out. I wanted to make sure I was up and dressed before Drew came to the main house. I don’t want to add any confusion to the situation, but you should probably know that I plan to move in as soon as possible. I’ve spent too many nights away, and I don’t intend to stay away many more.
I don’t want you to feel rushed or pressured. We don’t even have to share a room, or a bed. I just want to be under the same roof with you both but think it’s best we establish some ground rules and then have a chat with Drew.
Leaving you sleeping was beyond difficult, but I had a growing boy waiting, and I promised him pancakes. So sleep in, my gorgeous girl.
Last night was one of the best nights of my life. See you soon!
Love,
Piers
Falling back on the pillow, I hold the note to my chest. My heart is full. It feels like things are moving fast, but we have five years of catching up to do. We have a long way to go, but we’ve already come so far.
I love him. He loves me. We both love Drew. That’s really all there is to know.
Climbing from bed, I set off in search of coffee. But first I put the note on my vanity with the one from Wendy.
Walking into the kitchen, I see Anna sitting at the table, dusting at invisible crumbs while trying to contain a silky grin.
“Morning Anna,” I say, warming up my vocal chords, the scent of coffee instantly waking me up.
“Morning, Willow. Slept well I take it?” She giggles. No shame this woman.
“Anna, you little gossip,” I tease her as I sit down directly across from her. She passes me the cream and sugar.
“Don’t you know a lady never kisses and tells?” I joke, feeling lighter than I have in months.
“Aye, so there was kissing then?” She laughs, rising to grab me a breakfast muffin. She got me there.
“Well...” I tease. “Oh, Anna, last night was magical.” Over coffee I fill her in on the gala and Scarlett. Obviously, I omit certain details.
She tells me the boys have gone to the city for supplies, but she doesn’t say anymore. After washing out my cup, Drew comes racing into the kitchen. “Mum, come quick!”
“What is it Drew? Everything okay, lad?” I rush to check him out.
“Yeah, it’s a surprise! Hurry.” He runs out the back door. I follow, pausing
to grab my wellies and hurry after him.
I follow him across the lawn to one of the old flower sheds. It’s made mostly of glass, which looks unusually clean. Stepping inside, I’m shocked. A makeshift plywood floor replaces the dirty concrete, there is a drafting table set up in the corner under a skylight.
Walking closer, I see new brushes, mixed with my old ones that I packed. I run my fingers over the delicate bristles. My paints are all set up.
“You guys did all this? For me?” My heart beats steady in my chest, and I’m overcome with emotion.
“Yep!” Drew jumps up and down, so I lift him into my arms and smother him with kisses.
“Thank you, it’s wonderful!” He wiggles down to chase Pete, who bolts through the open door.
I look at Piers in worn jeans and a grey T-shirt, sweat on his brow. And for a moment, I’m transported back to last night, the way sweat dropped from his brow as he leaned over me.
“Drew helped a lot, explained to me what we needed. Mr. Roderick and Anna too.” He gestures and I see the wires crisscrossing one wall with clothes pens, dangling from them, to hang wet paintings on. And the window sills lined with potted plants and flowers.
“It’s perfect,” I say as he walks toward me. The glint in his eye tells me he’s remembering too.
“You’re perfect,” he whispers, reaching out and putting his hands on my hips. I look down at my polka dot gown, worn cardigan and mismatched socks sticking up out of my red wellies, then back up to Piers, who is looking at me with as much desire as he did last night.
“Now you don’t have to worry about having a work space. I know the study is where Wendy liked working, but it seems it’s turned into more of a family room. I was thinking I could use the desk in the upstairs office when I need to work from home.”
I smile at his use of the word home to describe Everlend. He leans in and lightly kisses me, his tongue teasing the seam of my lips before drawing back.
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