Luke shakes his head. “No, not a word. Let’s just get you cleaned up and fed and have Jax take a look at you. This is recovery time. We can argue about stuff later.”
Cal gives him a slow, sleepy smile. Luke’s heart jumps into his throat. Cal’s hair curls at the nape of his neck. There’s a twig stuck in it. Luke reaches over and untangles it, and Cal leans into his hand, rubbing his face up against Luke’s palm.
I love you, Luke thinks. He’s known it on some level since Cal first walked into his life, but this is the first time he’s acknowledged it consciously. Cal is so beautiful; it makes his heart want to burst free. Luke can feel the love fill his body completely, making everything from his hair to his toes tingle. And oh god, does he want to kiss him.
But he promised. No taking advantage.
Instead, he helps Cal wash his hair, rubbing the shampoo then conditioner into his scalp and being rewarded by little happy sounds as he does it, then supporting Cal on his injured side when he tips his head back to rinse it all off.
Finally, he helps Cal out of the tub again and into a big fluffy towel, then helps him fit a shirt over his head without damaging his arm.
He leaves Cal in bed while he heads off to the kitchen to find something for Cal to eat. There’s not a lot that fits Jax’s instructions of both light and veggie — the default of the store cupboards is tins and dried food. They don’t keep fresh fruit and vegetables up here. Finally, Luke finds a tin of carrot and cumin soup at the back of the cupboard and heats it up on the stove.
There’s no fresh bread to go with it, but it’ll have to do.
He puts it on a tray along with a glass of water, but by the time he gets back to the bedroom, Cal is fast asleep under the duvet. His mate’s face is completely relaxed, and his soft lips are open slightly. Luke sits on the side of the bed and takes in the sight greedily.
This is him. This is the father of my cub. This is my mate.
Luke screwed it up once. He’s not going to do it again, so as much as he wants to get into the bed beside Cal, he doesn’t. Instead, he takes the chair by the window so he can watch over Cal while he sleeps and waits for Jax to arrive.
CAL
baby pics and tantrums
Cal puts a hand to his still-flat stomach. He’s three months along, and soon that flat bit is going to start curving outwards. It’s weird to think there’s someone living in there. He’s in the waiting room at Jax’s clinic. The town is too small to have a proper hospital but big enough that it can justify some stuff. The ultrasound machine is one of those things.
This is the part where they find out if the baby is healthy or if there is something wrong. He’s unexpectedly nervous, and by the way Luke is sitting restlessly beside him, jigging his leg up and down in an incredibly annoying way, he’s not the only one.
Cal’s been throwing up multiple times a day since that first time at the cabin, but Jax has reassured him that’s normal for some people. Some people do it all the time, others not at all.
Cal wishes he were the other type of normal. He spends most of his day either feeling nauseous or brushing his teeth and changing his clothes after vomiting. No wonder Luke hasn’t been anywhere near him.
Luke has been the perfect gentleman. It’s driving Cal crazy, and every time Cal tries to talk to him about it, Luke fobs him off with a vague argument about not taking advantage. First, he was recovering, now it’s because of the baby.
And finally, Cal gets it. Luke’s just a decent guy who made a mistake because Cal was on heat. That was it. They get on well enough, but Luke clearly doesn’t want anything more. Cal just wishes Luke would be man enough to just tell him that instead of making excuses.
“Okay, we’re ready to go.” Jax is standing in the doorway, smiling at both of them. Apparently, this is going to be the first Winterstoke baby in almost three decades. All the brothers wanted to be here, but Cal had nixed that idea with bells on. It’s already enough of a family affair.
He’s been spending a lot of time with Jax. The other omega treated him like an actual human being and not some fragile little incubator like Luke is. That goes a long way.
Cal resists the urge to stick his tongue out at Luke as he gets up from the chair and follows Jax down the clinic corridor.
Jax shows them into a small room looking out onto the mountains but closes the blinds on the window as soon as they enter.
There’s a middle-aged woman sitting next to the monitor, her auburn hair streaked with gray. She looks up and gives Cal a friendly smile when they come in.
“This is Sonya. She does all the ultrasounds round here,” Jax says and then at the look on Cal’s face, “Oh, I could do it, but I might end up showing you your liver instead.”
Sonya smiles again. “Let’s get you up on the bed and some gel on your belly. Do you know how far along you are?”
Cal glances at Luke. “Around fourteen weeks.”
“Perfect. Let’s take a look and see how baby’s doing.”
Cal climbs onto the bed, and raises his shirt to his chest, baring his stomach. The gel is cold, but he smiles anyway. This is it. His first glimpse at the little butter bean that is going to be his son or daughter.
Luke’s blue eyes are sparkling with excitement, and Cal feels a pang. He wishes they could be a proper family.
If wishes were horses. That’s what Dad used to say. He wishes Dad could be here too. He’s going to be a grandfather. Cal doesn’t even know if Dad is still alive. The thought makes him want to tear up.
A warm hand covers his and squeezes. Luke gives him a reassuring smile. This close, Luke’s scent is reassuring all on its own. Cal decides to take what he can get. He squeezes Luke’s hand back and is rewarded with a brilliant smile. It’s like the sun coming out.
If Luke would just stop being so heart-breakingly gorgeous, this would be a lot easier.
“It might be a bit early to know the sex, but we might get lucky,” Sonya says. “Have you decided whether you want to know?”
Cal says, “Yes” at the same time Luke says, “No.”
“Oh,” Cal says flustered. “No. I mean we hadn’t talked about it.” He wonders how many couples haven’t thought about it. It feels like exactly the kind of thing that they should be talking about. That, and what’s going to happen once the baby’s born. Is Cal just going to hang around co-parenting with Luke while they never ever talk about how the baby was made and if they’re ever going to do it again.
Jax speaks up and Cal startles. He was so focused on baby and Luke that he’d forgotten the other omega is there.
“If they want to know later, you can just tell me, and I’ll pass it on. That work for you guys?”
Cal nods and so does Luke. Luke has this horrified expression on his face as if he’s made some massive faux pas. Cal ignores him. He’s tired of Luke not talking to him. This is his fault.
“Ah, there we go,” Sonya says.
Cal looks. The monitor shows a bunch of blotchy shadows and white bits, and for a moment he can’t make out head or tail of what he’s looking at.
Then suddenly, like one of those magic pictures you need to squint at, it all makes sense. There’s the head, looking weirdly big, and...
“That’s the heartbeat,” Sonya says. “Going strong. Good kid. All looking good so far.”
Cal can’t help it. He bursts into tears. He’s not usually a blubber but this time he’s going strong. Whatever hormones are coursing through his body are turning him the biggest cry-baby in the country.
Luke squeezes his hand again. “Cal—”
“Oh, shut up.”
Cal wants to flinch at the look of shock on Luke’s face, but what did he expect?
“Just shut up and leave me alone. I know you want to anyway.” Cal knows he’s behaving like a twelve-year-old, but he just doesn’t care. He gets up off the bed and grabs a paper towel from the dispenser to wipe the gunk off his belly.
“Cal—”
“Shut up! Don’t pret
end you want to talk to me now.” And because there’s nothing else he can add to that, he storms out, being sure to slam the door behind him like a petulant child.
Three months. Almost three months. That’s how long he’s been down from that cabin and living in the packhouse with Luke. That’s how long Luke has babied him and coddled him and refused to treat him like an adult. Cal has done his best to put up with it, but it’s driving him crazy.
Well, if Luke wants to treat him like a child, Cal will damn well act like one.
He finds the truck out in the parking lot and drives himself back to the packhouse. Luke can walk. Or get a lift with Jax. That would be Luke’s problem.
He slams the truck door closed for good measure, even if there’s no one around to see it, then stalks into the packhouse trying to pretend he looks more angry wolf and less grumpy puppy.
Gregor looks up and does a double take when he sees Cal’s expression. “What’s wrong?”
“Your brother’s an asshole,” Cal says.
Gregor raises an eyebrow, but there’s a sparkle in his eye. “Which one?”
Ugh. Cal ignores him and heads to his room. That’s not in the tower anymore. Luke put paid to that with endless “What if you slip down the stairs” comments as if Cal hasn’t been going up and down stairs without falling over his own feet all of his damn life.
He’s in the room next to Luke’s now. It’s a nice enough room: good sized bed, decent view onto the trees. What it doesn’t have is Luke. No, Luke sleeps in the room next to him like a big dumb guard dog.
Cal lets himself into his room and throws himself down on the bed. He pulls the blanket over his head. He lets himself breathe in and out slowly, trying to calm himself down like he did when he was a kid. That never worked then either.
Books did. His room is starting to look like Luke’s which is also Luke’s fault for having an excellent taste in books and also running a really cheap second-hand bookstore that he keeps bringing stuff back from with a little “I thought you’d like this”.
It doesn’t matter where they come from, Cal tells himself. Reading has always been an escape. He picks up the fantasy novel he’d put down before the appointment and loses himself in its pages.
It’s around half an hour later that Luke knocks on his door. Cal puts the book down and puts his face in his hands. Oh god, that was a tantrum and a half.
Luke’s voice comes through the door, “Can we talk?”
Now he wants to talk. Suddenly, Cal feels tired. The world is racing by too fast. It feels like only yesterday he was with Dad in that squat, and now he’s pregnant and in a strange town. For all that he’s been desperate for Luke to talk to him, suddenly he can’t face it. If Luke tells him what he thinks Luke is going to... He doesn’t have the energy for that right now.
“Can we do it tomorrow?”
There’s a moment of silence, then: “Sure.”
Cal lies back on the bed and stares at the ceiling. He’s being a fool and he knows it. Luke is good to him, and respectful even though Cal really doesn’t want him to be. After Reed, he should be over the moon that an alpha is treating him with kid gloves and tiptoeing around him, making sure that every need is taken care of.
That first evening back in the cabin had been dreamy. He’d never had anyone treat him with such tenderness before, but it shouldn’t have been something that turned into a full-time experience. Luke does everything short of chewing his food like a mother bird. It’s from one extreme to another, and it’s just not what he wants.
Cal sighs and turns back to his book. That’s easier than real life. All the difficult conversations are done by fictional characters. He reads until long past sundown and he’s missed dinner. For once, Luke doesn’t bring him a plate or come to check on him. That feels good but it also makes him feel guilty. Cal behaved like a brat, even if his annoyance was justified, and he knows it.
He turns off the light and lies in the dark, trying to find the right words. As always, the knowledge that Luke is only one room away both comforts and upsets him. He should be in here with Cal. Finally, he sleeps.
In his dream, Cal is far further along in his pregnancy. The baby — a girl — kicks and pummels at a stomach that juts out far enough that Cal can’t see his toes. Cal runs his hand over his belly, feeling the life inside. Something isn’t right, though. It’s not the baby. She’s perfect. It’s the nursery. He can’t get it quite right.
Ben’s part of it. He lives in the nursery, in the corner by the bassinet and every time Cal comes in, Ben starts crying. Cal doesn’t know how to help him. There’s nothing Cal can do to help or to make it better. Every time Cal even comes close, Ben just cries harder.
Cal hates it. He wishes he could help, and he wishes Ben could live somewhere else, and that makes him feel guilty.
It’s just that Reed hates it when Ben’s there. It makes things worse. Reed, whose voice he can hear now and whose baby this is. Reed, whose steps are on the stairs. Reed, who is coming towards the baby in her crib.
LUKE
eyelashes and black silk pajamas
Luke jolts awake to the sound of screaming.
Cal.
He bolts out of bed so fast that a wave of disorientation hits him, and he almost falls over. He’s out of the door a second later.
Cal’s bedroom door is closed. Luke slams it open. Cal’s lying on the bed on his side, shirtless and dressed only in his boxers. He’s kicked off the blankets and they lie in a puddle on the floor.
He’s stopped screaming and is crying instead: great big sobs that wrack his entire body. His face is contorted with pain and grief. The bottom drops out of Luke’s stomach. What if there’s something wrong with the baby?
Luke’s beside him in a flash, his hands rubbing circles into Cal’s shoulders. “Hey, sssh. I’m here. What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
Cal mumbles something that comes out as half-wail. It sounds like “aher” which makes no sense at all until Luke realizes Cal is still sleeping, even he’s gasping for breath he’s crying so hard and the tears roll down his cheeks.
Luke keeps rubbing his shoulders. “Wake up. You’re dreaming.”
Cal’s eyes fly open. His thick eyelashes are wet with tears. “Luke?”
“I’m here. I’m here. It’s okay.”
Adam’s voice sounds from the doorway, “What’s going on? Do you want me to call Jax?”
Luke looks up to see Adam and Gregor looking concerned. Adam is wearing black silk pajamas that Luke will totally tease him about later. Gregor apparently doesn’t sleep in anything at all.
“I think it’s just a dream,” Luke says. “Cal, do you need Jax?”
Cal shakes his head. He puts his hands to his still-flat stomach, staring down as if he can see the pup inside. He’s still breathing hard and his eyes are wide with fear.
Adam nods. “Let us know if you need anything.” He closes the door behind him as they leave.
Luke turns back to Cal. “Are you ok—”
Cal bursts into floods of tears, and grabs at Luke, shoving his face into Luke’s neck wetting Luke’s skin with his tears, hot breath on the sensitive skin at the nape.
Luke holds him, trying his best to make reassuring noises, and ignore the fact that not only does Cal smell like utter heaven, but he’s also not wearing a shirt and Luke’s arms are encasing soft, warm skin.
Luke is careful to angle his hips away from Cal’s, so Cal doesn’t have to put up with Luke poking at him when he needs comfort.
They lie like that for an age, Cal slowly starting to breath slower and the wet heat from his tears dissipating against Luke’s chest.
Finally, Luke says, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Cal shakes his head against Luke’s chest. Luke bends down and kisses his temple, breathing in the lemon scent of his hair, and holds him.
He’s not sure how much more of this he can take. Cal’s clearly furious with him about the lack of contact, and Luke wants to, he really do
es, but he’s screwed this up enough times. He can’t risk it again.
Cal grips him tighter, bringing his whole body flush up against Luke’s as if he’s trying to get the absolute maximum Luke-body contact humanly possible.
Of course, that means that Cal’s also now right up against the hard line of Luke’s cock.
Oh.
And now he’s rubbing up against it. Of course, he is.
Luke gently pulls away, although it takes every ounce of self-control that he has to do it.
Cal looks up at him through dark eyelashes and the hurt there is unmistakable. “Why not?” he pleads. “I don’t understand. If you don’t want me, why are you even here?”
Oh god. Is that what Cal thinks?
“Of course, I want you,” Luke says. Cal is the most stunning man he has ever seen. No one could not want him.
“Then, what?”
“I don’t want you to run away again,” Luke blurts out. “If I push you, you’ll run. I’d rather risk having you here where I know you’re safe, even if you’re not mine, than risk never seeing you again.”
Cal sits up on his elbows. “Is that what you think?”
“Well, yes. You have run away a few times now,” Luke says.
“That was different,” Cal mumbles, but he doesn’t meet Luke’s eyes.
“Why?”
“Because I had reasons then.”
“What if you have a reason again?”
Cal opens his mouth as if to argue, but then his lips curve into a smirk. “What if that reason is because you refuse to fuck me when we both obviously want it?”
He meets Luke’s eyes and the dark hunger that Luke sees there makes him want to grab Cal and kiss him until they’re both gasping for breath.
Instead, Cal reaches between them and rubs a firm hand up the side of Luke’s cock, keeping his eyes on Luke’s. “God, that feels good,” Cal murmurs, his voice soft and needy.
Luke can’t help it. He rocks his hips into the pressure of Cal’s hand. It’s been so long, and he’s been so desperate for it.
Winterstoke Wolves Collection : An MM Mpreg Shifter Romance Bundle Page 12