I whisper and I don't dare open my eyes, I know his face is very close to mine, I can feel his breath on my lips when he speaks.
And then his lips crush mine with the softest urgency and I don't hesitate to open my mouth for him this time.
His mouth’s so warm, his tongue velvety and yet firm.
I try to remember what he told me to do yesterday and use my lips and my tongue together to kiss his whole mouth.
His hand descends from my forehead to my cheekbone and jaw, finding a very sensitive spot behind my ear and then begins stroking me slowly and softly, the same way he’s moving his tongue against mine.
We kiss for a while, forgetting anything that isn't how we taste and how hungry we are for each other.
When his teeth graze my bottom lip and he sucks it into his mouth in a sweet and torturous game, I open my eyes and find that he's looking at me with a new heat in his green gaze.
“You taste like strawberries and cream ...”
He says against my mouth and I find nothing better to say but:
“It's the milkshake.”
Chaz smiles and kisses under my jaw, moving my long blonde hair aside.
His lips start trailing down the column of my neck and I’m about to close my eyes to this new, amazing feeling when he winces in pain and takes his right hand away from my face.
He’s looking at his hand, still cupped like when it was around my jaw but now shaking.
He takes a deep breath, trying to open his hand but he doesn't seem to be able to.
“Chaz, are you all right?”
He shakes his head.
“I ... I can't move it. It hurts. The doctor gave me some muscle relaxers and pain killers for when this happens. They're in the kitchen.”
I offer to go and get his meds and follow his indications, finding the two bottles of meds and getting him a glass of water too.
Chaz takes them gratefully and asks for my help to pop the pill bottles open.
He swallows way too many pills for what I normally see prescribed and I’m about to say something when he gets up and walks towards a wooden bar trolley by the side of the couch.
“A drink will help these act faster. Do you want anything?”
I shake my head and walk towards him: I know this is none of my business but I’m pretty sure that painkillers and muscle relaxers don't mix well with alcohol.
I know because my mom is an addict and she's not been living at home, always being moved from one rehab facility to another.
My dad has forced me and Alex to see a therapist for most of our lives, to make sure that we understand how addiction can be hereditary and to learn other coping mechanisms to deal with stress.
I’m afraid to speak, I’ve seen him angry with me and while I don't think that he’d physically hurt me, I don't want to lose the new way he’s been looking at me since we kissed yesterday.
But for some strange reason, I care for his safety more than I do for this kind of sweet truce between us, so I speak up.
“Chaz, I don't think you're supposed to drink with those meds.”
He doesn't react harshly but his eyes are veiled with pain and I see sweat starting to appear on his forehead.
“I need something to take the edge off until the meds take effect. It hurts too much. It always happens when the weather changes, when a storm’s about to hit.”
And as if on cue, I see lightning tear the grey and pink horizon through the patio doors of the den.
And thunder is right behind.
“I know it's none of my business but ... What's wrong with your hand?”
I take his almost clawed hand between mine and start stroking it and massaging it lightly, feeling his muscles relax under my touch.
“I was in a car accident a little over eighteen months ago and I broke my hand. It's mostly ok. It took lots of physical therapy to heal but if I overuse it or the weather changes.”
I nod: I get it.
Once I fell from a ladder, helping the sisters at boarding school with the Christmas decorations and I hit my knee, shattering my kneecap. I do feel worse when it's humid out.
I keep massaging his hand until he can open it and close it again.
“It feels better. Thank you, Abi. You didn't have to do this.”
I smile.
“Now you don't need a drink.”
He takes one of my hands between his and brushes my knuckles with his lips.
He pulls me closer to him, until my hands are resting on his chest and we’re staring into each other's eyes again.
“Why are you being so nice to me? I’ve been a complete asshole to you.”
I shrug but don't avert my gaze.
“You were. But only because you thought I lied about sleeping with you guys.”
His eyes harden all of a sudden, as if he'd just remembered what got us here in first place.
“Abi—”
“No. Don't say anything, please. I really didn't do it but I understand that you only have my word and we don't know each other enough for you to trust me when all the evidence seems to be against me. Let's not talk about it. I helped you because I like being with you like this. I like your kisses.”
Chaz
“I LIKE BEING WITH YOU like this. I like your kisses.”
She looks so sincere, her blue eyes so clear, her face a little flushed after all our kissing.
I’m not ready to take her back home and I look at her soft lips and at her eyes, so beautiful and full of concern for me...
A part of my heart wants to believe her when she says that she didn't spread the rumours about sleeping with us last weekend.
I’m not ready to trust her completely yet but I need her right now: I need her kisses.
She makes me feel as if everything will be all right, as long as I have her in my arms.
I don't know her that well but something in her feels right, she makes me feel calm.
So I kiss her again with all I have to give right now, knowing that I can only take her lips: that it's too soon for anything else.
I love the abandon in her kisses, the fire that I feel lurking under her innocence.
I lie down on the couch with her on top of me, hugging her tight while I own her mouth with my own.
Her body is so soft on top of mine and she holds me as tight as I’m holding her.
Of course I’m still a man and knowing that I can't go any further, doesn't mean that my body won't react to having Abi in my arms.
She feels my hardness underneath her and she gasps softly, opening her eyes to look at me.
“That's what you do to me, Abi.”
She blushes, making me chuckle against the soft skin of her neck.
“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna try to make you do anything you aren't ready for. But ... stay with me? Sleep here, in my arms. I wanna fall asleep with your lips on mine.”
She nods and we kiss for a long time, with the rain battering the windows of my living room, the thunder clamouring in the distance and the noise of the stormy sea under the cliff my house is perched on.
I’ve never liked this kind of weather: it was a night exactly like this one when my driver crashed my car against a tree, trying to avoid a cat which had suddenly crossed in front of us.
I feel as if when I'm with her all the pain of the last eighteen months simply melts away.
Our kisses become slower as sleep starts to claim us: we fall asleep with her head resting in the crook of my neck and my arms closed around her waist.
We’re fully dressed and the only thing I attempt is to rest one of my hands on the small of her back, under her t-shirt.
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU two doing in here?”
I wake up abruptly: the angry voice yelling at me is Reece's.
He and Pryce are standing at the end of the couch and neither of ‘em looks happy.
“Dude! I can't believe how stupid you are, seriously! After what happened the last time we fell asleep next to a girl!”
“It’s fine. She’s fine. I asked her to stay, she agreed ...”
Reece shakes his head and walks away, trying to calm down.
Pryce is the one who scolds me:
“Yeah. Emily didn't have an issue falling asleep next to us either.”
He’s right: we had this with Emily too and we’ve all seen how that turned out.
First she chose Max and that hurt but I didn't hate her for that.
Her friendship was enough to mend my broken heart after that car accident ended my music career.
What I can't forgive is what she said after that dreadful night: that my brothers and I got her drunk and high with the intention to sexually assault her.
It was Prom night and we all went to Max’s house to party after the ball at the country club.
Max got involved in a game of poker with some of our team mates and told us to keep an eye on Emily.
It was late and she’d been complaining about being tired since we left the country club.
Reece showed her to Max’s room and we all decided to watch a movie together.
Reece, Emily, and I were draped on Max's bed, while Pryce was lying down in a rocking chair nearby.
When I fell asleep, after way too many drinks and a couple of pills, I was fully dressed and so were the others.
A few hours later, we woke up to Emily screaming and crying hysterically: Reece and Pryce were wearing no pants, I had my belt and the buttons of my jeans undone.
She claimed that we had sex with her while she was asleep.
Max believed her and called the cops.
There were three condom wrappers in the en suite bathroom’s waste bin.
Some of the people at the party had been taking coke, smoking pot and when the cops found the evidence of that and of the fact that we’d all been drinking despite being seventeen, they took us into custody.
In the first few hours at the police station, before our parents arrived with lawyers, we were tested to ascertain if we’d worn a condom.
Apparently the lube in it leaves traces on your skin.
Our lawyers freaked out when they heard that this happened without their presence but actually those tests, which they fought to have declared inadmissible in court, were what absolved us in the end.
There was no trace of lube on any of us and no DNA belonging to us on Emily.
So we walked free.
But Abi isn't Emily and whether she spread that rumour or not, it's unfair to treat her as if she’d accuse us ... me of something.
7.
Toys
Pryce
ABI STARTS STIRRING, still on top of Chaz: I admit it only to myself but I’m so fucking jealous that he got to sleep with her in his arms.
I know that after what she did, I’m supposed to be mad at her but I liked her from the very beginning.
But Reece is right that another girl’s lies almost destroyed our lives and the stigma of what we were accused of seems to be following us everywhere, so we can't ignore the whole thing.
If Abi wants to be with us in any way, it has to be clear that we’re loyal and we’d expect the same from any woman, especially if she were involved with us all.
The other thing that needs to happen is that we need to stay away from booze and drugs.
We’ve never done any drugs seriously, just the occasional line or pill but junior year was wild for us, at least until we met Emily.
This is how we began to earn our bad boy reputation: it was exactly a year ago at a party, after winning the first game of the season.
Last year our first game was near San Francisco and the losing team invited us to party with them.
I was so wasted that if I hadn't got other people's photos to tell me what happened, I’d have been none the wiser.
There was this girl, a redhead, she started dancing with me and Max and then we both started kissing her.
Reece and Chaz were watching and when she'd realised that we were close friends, she invited us all to ‘have fun’ with her.
We found a room and ...
I have only flashbacks of what happened but Reece and Chaz confirmed that she had three of us at the same time, several times.
It happened again a few more times with other girls, especially after winning a game.
We’d always been careful not to choose anyone from BHPA, because we didn't want any complications or strings attached.
But I have to say that after that first time, I made sure to stay sober and I really enjoyed sharing a girl with my brothers.
And no, it's not that I like boys: nothing wrong with it but not my thing.
It's just that we’ve always done everything together and somehow, being together with a girl, made it more intense for me.
Until Emily.
I was so excited about her: we all liked her so much ...
She was a cheerleader at a different Prep School here in LA, Aylesbury Academy and we all felt drawn to her at a party but we actually never took things further than dancing and talking and asking her on a date.
We all liked her a lot but when Emily understood that we all wanted to date her as a group, she made it clear that it wasn't something she'd ever want.
So we agreed to get to know her until she'd made a choice.
And she chose Max.
It was weird: we were all disappointed but none of us was jealous.
So much so that we stayed friends with her and we’d hang out with her and Max whenever they weren't doing couple things.
I won't lie that when I didn't get the girl, it was a disappointment and I know that Chaz felt the same way.
So, we didn't even really hook up with any girls last year, pining for Emily until that fateful night.
Abi wakes up with the most adorable yawn and when I see the way Chaz is looking at her, I know that we're in trouble.
I’m not the only one who likes her despite the rumours she spread.
I’ve gotta admit that I was not only disappointed but very surprised when we heard the rumours and saw that post: I wouldn't have thought Abi capable of anything like that.
My first impression of her was of a sweet, genuine girl.
Maybe a little naive, if anything.
But life has taught me a hard lesson, that people surprise you in the worst possible way.
Out of the whole thing with Emily, Max’s betrayal was the hardest part.
That he wouldn't believe his brothers, his best friends since kindergarten, over a girl we’d just met.
The thing with Abi is that we all saw something in her but we can't risk being involved in any more scandals for the sake of our families and our college prospects.
I want to go Pro in the NFL and the stain of that trial is already hard to overcome.
So I told Reece that we really had two choices: risk everything and believe Abi’s claim that she didn't run her mouth all over school with lies or ...
Cut Abi out of our lives and keep our heads down at school for the whole year, like we’d planned to begin with.
No girls, no drama, no distractions.
But then, people made it clear what consequences there are for whoever gets involved with the bad boys of BHPA and Reece stepped in.
I know that he was harsh with Abi. Ok, he wasn't harsh, he was a fucking asshole but I understand how he feels.
We want this girl, we want to protect her but if she did lie about us, we also need to protect ourselves.
And I know how twisted this is: we want her but we don't trust her.
We don't wanna like her and the fact that we do, makes us hate ourselves and her.
We need to protect her and we need to protect ourselves from her.
We can't afford to be vulnerable with a girl because we all know how it turned out last time: in handcuffs.
Abi carefully disentangles herself from Chaz and gives me and Reece a smile.
“Morning guys. What are you doing here?”
I can't help but smile at her but I see that Reece isn't pleased about finding Abi here.
“We’re here to take you and Chaz to school and we’re gonna be fucking late if you don't hurry up.”
She looks mortified and doesn't dare looking at him.
“I ... I don't have my uniform ... I ...”
Reece's tone is hard.
“Yeah, no shit! If you hadn't decided to have an impromptu sleepover, than maybe ...”
I nudge Reece out of the way and hand Abi a bag.
“We went to pick you up first and when your housekeeper said that you didn't come back home last night after being picked up by a dashing young man in a Rolls, we figured that you’d stayed the night. So we asked her to give us your cheerleader uniform: it's game day and you're allowed to wear it at school ... go on, get ready and we’ll get you some coffee ...”
She takes the bag gratefully and goes into the bathroom, avoiding Reece's stormy gaze.
When she's out of earshot, I glare at my best friend.
“Dude! I get it that we don't trust her and that she made a mistake, but do you have to be an asshole every time you're around her?”
He looks at me without speaking for a long moment and then he deadpans:
“Lies destroy lives and reputations, so yes. Plus, she's stuck with us, unless she wants to be treated like trash at school.”
“Well, if I were her, I’d take my chances at school. Honestly, bro, I don't mind teaching her a little lesson but if you don't tone it down ...”
Chaz nods in agreement.
“Yeah. Look, regardless of what she might've said at school and that stupid post, she’s not a bitch. Last night—”
Reece cuts him off:
“Yeah, about last night, dude! You were supposed to teach her how to kiss, not—”
“Nothing happened. And Pryce is right, if you don't soften up a bit—”
Reece raises his voice:
“I was soft! I really liked her! Before she lied.”
We hear the bathroom door open and interrupt our conversation.
But this isn't over: however Reece wants to punish Abi for lying, he’ll have to stop treating her like dirt.
Beverly Hills Prep Academy The Complete Boxset : A Light Bully Romance Page 38