Springing to my feet I watched them pacing slowly around me. Calledora watched, as if waiting for some sign from me. Of what, I had no clue, but I couldn’t just stand here and let them beat the shit out of me. I had bled on the amulet to protect myself and to protect those I cared about—I need to figure this out.
Someone wrapped an arm around my neck from behind, so quick I hadn’t even heard her approach me. Gripping me tightly she squeezed, blocking my lungs from receiving any air. My hands rushed up and clawed at her arm, scratching and tearing, trying to pull her away. This couldn’t be the way I died, not without my family or Sam ever knowing what happened to me. Without me being able to figure out how I actually felt about the guys.
“Embrace who you are!” Calledora’s voice came through, muffled beneath the sound of blood pounding in my head. The anger built inside me, rushing through me like the blood did, throbbing at my temples. Anger at myself for being so weak and allowing this situation, allowing the ones I loved to get hurt. Anger that I didn’t have the courage to reach inside myself for whatever this ‘other’ was that she was talking about.
Her arm tightened, or I weakened, I couldn’t be exactly sure which as the darkness started closing in around the edges of my vision. I welcomed it though, its soft shadows folding over me, comforting me, and making me feel like I could be myself. It would be so easy to give into it, to let the darkness envelop me and keep me safe.
My eyes flew open, that was the answer, the darkness was the key. I let it sink into me, become part of me instead of the other way around. The throbbing receded from my head as blood flow returned to the rest of my body. I felt the flow of blood through the arm holding me captive, felt it dancing just beneath her skin. The thought should have grossed me out, but instead it just left me intrigued.
I knew I could trust this newly discovered part of me to handle these attackers. I also knew I had to be careful because I didn’t believe they had any intention of hurting me, and I didn’t want to cause any of them harm. Firmly, I grasped her arm this time, no longer scratching and clawing my way for freedom. Her pulse pounded underneath my palm, its beat thrilling and teasing me at the same time. Ignoring the temptation, I yanked her forward over my shoulder, tossing her as if she was weightless and crashing through the crowd in front of us.
Looking back at the crowd as they came toward me again, I hesitated for a moment. The quiet darkness inside me hummed, deep and reassuring, I was no longer powerless. It was time to own this shit and kick ass. I jerked my head up, feeling the moment my fangs descended, as everything around me became sharp and crystal clear.
Each one of the group came at me, testing me with their various skillsets. Most of the women chose hand-to-hand combat, lightning fast and sure of themselves. I struggled to keep up at first, still adjusting to accepting what I was, and what I was capable of. Finally giving into it completely I handled them with ease, even as they started tossing knives, lashing out with their fangs, or tried to take me on four to one.
A shrill whistle sounded above the cacophony of our fighting, making everyone pause in their actions. Calledora walked forward, the group parting for her as she passed. Everyone looked much more worn out and disheveled than when I had first met them. I smiled smugly to myself, that’s right, I did that bitches.
“I think that is enough for the moment, thank you ladies,” she dismissed them, nodding in their direction. Each nodded in return, their fangs receding as they passed me with their comments of “good fight,” or “nicely done,” some even surprised me reaching out and tapping my shoulder. Given a different circumstance, I think I would enjoy getting to know some of these women here.
After they had all started making their way down the hill Calledora faced me once more. “That was really nicely done Selena, you should be proud today.”
“That’s right!” I laughed. “I kicked major vampire ass!”
“Yeah you did,” she nodded in agreement, “but it took you way too long to accept that part of yourself to start with. Had that been an actual fight you would have been in serious trouble.”
“Gee, thanks, pop my bubble,” I replied.
“You will need to keep working on it until you have no hesitation and readily accept who you are. Then you will be ready to proceed,” she informed me.
“What the hell are you talking about, ready to proceed? I’m ready to go home now,” I huffed as she started walking toward the sanctuary.
“You need to be fully trained before you can return if you are to have any hope of protecting the clans,” she said almost sadly.
“How long is that going to fucking take? I need to get back like yesterday, I don’t even have any clue how long I’ve been here, wherever the fuck here is!” I threw my hands up, just realizing that the sun was starting to set behind the trees at the opposite end of the field. Its bright orange rays slashing across the sky, a promise it would return another day.
“That’s going to depend on you Selena, and on how ready you are to train. Today you made great progress and showed great power as I had expected. Not many vampires can take on a hoard alone and come out triumphant. You not only took them on, but did so untrained and with ease.”
I thought about her words as we approached the doors, it depended on me. Just like everything else. For so long I had denied what I was, even when Valentina or the guys encouraged me. I denied it because it meant something different, something new. Was I scared of success or was I scared of failure?
Today, when I finally let myself accept what was inside of me, it had been a great success. I found I wasn’t scared of that achievement, but scared for those around me. I was scared of hurting them because I didn’t understand this new part of me and might not be able to control it. That just meant I had to make sure I trained hard and understood everything I could about this dormant part of myself.
I needed to learn so I could trust myself, and then I wouldn’t be worried about hurting them while I protected them. “So when do we start?” I asked, walking up the front steps as the door opened before me.
“We already have.” Calledora grinned, entering the sanctuary with me.
“Hells yes!” I exclaimed.
“How are you feeling after the fight?” she inquired, looking slightly concerned.
“Honestly, never better. I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t that. It was like everything was brighter, clearer somehow. I was… hell, I am stronger than I was before I accepted this part of me. This energy seems to be flowing through me that wasn’t there before. During the fight it was almost unfair because I could hear their movements as they made them, like their bodies moving through the air, or an arm rushing toward me to land a blow. I can’t really explain it, but I could feel what they were doing as they were doing it,” I tried to explain.
Calledora listened intently. “Most vampires seem to have extraordinary senses once they are turned, what you’re describing though, I have not heard of before. It seems like you were able to anticipate what they were doing before they did it. Is that how you handled them with such ease?” she asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, I didn’t have to wait for them to move, I already felt what they were doing before they completed the motion.” I shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal, is it?”
“It’s just that your power is far greater than I think anyone was expecting…” She trailed off as we reached the front of the room, the altar in front of us. “Are you hungry or do you feel like resting first? I can have food sent to you later,” she offered.
“I can still eat regular food right?” I questioned hesitantly.
“Of course,” she replied, “and eventually you will want blood as we all do, you will need it for nourishment. As a queen you will not need to feed as frequently as a clan member would, however with you, I am not exactly sure what to expect, so take that information with a grain of salt.”
“Regular food it is then,” I commented and she turned down a hall to the right. I assu
med toward some sort of dining room or kitchen. “So a church, huh? Isn’t there some rule against vampires entering a church or some shit?”
“You really need an education on vampires, don’t you?” she teased with a laugh.
“So I’ve been told,” I muttered.
“This is not a church, but a sanctuary for the queens. I believe it was designed by the first fallen as a place that resembled a safe haven for her when she once was alive. Much like you, she had great power and magic, however as the power of the amulet fades, her magic fades with it.”
“Who is she?” I asked as we entered a large kitchen, which was surprisingly very state of the art with its stainless steel appliances and wide counters. A huge island sat in the middle with bar stools lined down the edge, inviting people to take a seat and enjoy the company and food. I did exactly that and slid onto a stool, making myself comfortable.
“She is the first, you will meet her later. Now, you need to eat and regain your strength. Training will not be as easy as it was today,” she added, reaching into the refrigerator and pulling out two packages. She set one in front of me.
“That was easy? I really hate to see what you think is hard. Do you know how many bruises I’m going to have on my ass tomorrow, or the shiner I’m going to have on my cheek?” I complained as I reached up to touch my face where the woman had grazed me, expecting it to hurt. I ran my hands down my arms where there should be scrapes and cuts from nails and fangs, but there was nothing.
Calledora watched me examine myself. “One of the perks of being a vampire, you heal very quickly.”
“Well that’s something,” I said as I unwrapped what she handed me. A beautifully made ham, turkey, and swiss sandwich sat in the paper wrapper. I’m sure it was no coincidence this was here, since it was my favorite sandwich.
I took a bite and looked up to see Calledora drinking deeply from a semi transparent pouch, the red liquid very obvious beneath the plastic. I watched her as I swallowed the bite, my sandwich on the island now forgotten. She pulled the pouch away from her mouth and small droplet dripped onto the side of her chin. I unconsciously licked my lips as she picked up a napkin and dabbed the tiny bead away.
“See something you want Selena?” Calledora inquired, arching her brow at me in question.
I wanted to say no, I really did, but looking at that blood made my gut ache in a way I had never realized it was capable of. Slowly I nodded my head in assent, I couldn’t deny it any longer.
“Follow me,” Calledora said simply, before tossing the now empty bag in the trashcan.
“What?” I asked, surprised by the sudden turn of events. Scrambling off of the stool I rushed to follow her so I didn’t get lost in the labyrinth of hallways.
“You want blood, so I am taking you to get it,” she replied easily, still moving through the corridors.
“I just wanted one of those little juice pack looking bags back there. You know, ‘hey pop a juice box in Selena’s lunch box today.’ That kind of thing.”
“No, that is not how you will feed, I only did that because I knew you would want it if you saw me drinking it. We don’t even have them around here normally. I made sure we had one in there for your arrival,” she explained, unashamed of tricking me.
“That’s some common ass shit, just assuming I would fall for your little trap,” I grumbled. I was going to tell her to go fuck herself, but that gnawing ache in my stomach continued and curiosity got the better of me, so I continued to follow her.
We entered a sitting room with the same intricate detailing engraved in the walls here. The ceiling was a much lower version of room I had first entered, but still equally as impressive. Oddly though it still felt comfortable with the oversized sofas scattered around the room, and large area rugs covering the stone floor, making it feel welcoming.
“Please sit Selena, you don’t have anything to worry about here,” she said, motioning to a group of sofas off to the side. “I’ll be back in just a moment.”
I sat on one of the sofas, finding it extremely comfortable, and as I sank back into the cushions I let my mind wander. Shit was about to get real if she thought I would even consider what she was hinting at right now. I didn’t know what to think about it though. Sure vampires had to feed to survive, I got that. But I was not okay with hurting someone else for my own salvation.
Hearing Calledora coming back down the hall toward the room, I was pulled out of my thoughts. I sat up as she entered, waiting for what came next.
“Why do you look so worried?” she asked, clearly seeing the look on my face.
“I understand why you guys do it, but I’m not sure I can be a part of hurting someone for my own gain,” I answered, lifting my chin defiantly and daring her to disagree.
“You look so much like your mother right now,” she smiled, shaking her head as if to clear the memories. “And what are you talking about hurting someone?” she questioned in confusion.
“I’m not killing anyone, Calledora, just so I can be part of the cool kids club,” I replied.
“Who said anything about killing anyone? Selena, we don’t kill anyone when we feed. In fact we make sure that doesn’t happen and do everything we can to make it a win-win situation for everyone, as you would put it.”
“Oh, sorry.” I blushed a little, embarrassed I had assumed the worst.
“Did your mother not explain that to you? It is one of the big things that sets us apart from the others. We focus on pleasing the humans while we feed, their pleasure gives us power and strength. The other clans vary in their practices, but for the most part they are okay with feeding to the death, which we are never okay with,” she explained.
“She may have mentioned it a little. Really though, did you expect me to remember everything from when they first told me that vampires were real and, by the way, I was one of them? How was I to know the same even pertained to you? Not much seems to apply to you here, does it?” I added.
“Fair enough. Well, let me reassure you that we do not kill people. Nor will I allow you to kill when you feed. Your first time feeding, and even perhaps your second or third time, it may be extremely hard to control your desire to finish, but I will stay here to make sure that doesn’t happen,” she promised me.
The ache in my stomach grew, the empty feeling sharp and very noticeable now. “So how do we do this thing?”
“I asked for a human from your world to be sent to us, like the humans at the club, he will only remember having a good time with you, nothing more,” she assured.
I nodded as he entered the room, looking relaxed and happy. Calledora motioned for him to come join us, or more specifically me, on the sofa. “A lot of times our venom brings them intense pleasure on top of the additive we already provide them. I am not sure what to expect from your venom, but if you decide that you want to follow through with any sexual urges, I can still remain if you would like to make sure you don’t take it too far.”
“First, that’s fucking gross Calledora! You’re my damn grandmother! I mean, way to take one for the team but, ewww! Second, that’s not going to happen, period. My sexual urges, as you put it, belong somewhere else and I have no desire to follow through with anything.” Making a disgusted sound in my throat I shook my head. That shit took grandma-ing to a whole new fucking level. ‘My grandma has tattoos.’ Yeah? Well my grandma was cool with watching me fuck someone, top that bitches!
“Okay, I get it,” she said. “I was just trying to let you know I am here for you no matter what.”
“Yeah, I see that. Talk about hardcore love,” I teased. “So what do I do?” I asked, more nervous now that this was actually going to happen.
“For once the lore is actually true here, you need to let your fangs out, and then feed at either his neck or wrist. You might find it easier to control if you feed from his wrist the first time, the pulse at the neck can be a bit…overwhelming, initially.”
I moved closer to the man on the couch, he was attractive a
nd sure, I might have commented on it to Sam in the past, but that was before my three. Whoa, where did that come from? They were not my guys, I wasn’t even sure where I stood with them.
“Yeah, so I’m sorry if things get kinda weird here,” I told him. “But hey, you’re popping my vampire cherry, so there’s that,” I tried to joke.
“Awesome,” he grinned that goofy, impassive smile that had been on his face since he entered the room.
“May I have your arm?” I requested awkwardly, and still grinning, he lifted his arm to me. Taking his hand I turned it over, exposing his wrist. “This is awkward as fuck,” I muttered in frustration.
“It comes much more naturally with practice,” Calledora promised. “Now focus on whatever it was that you did outside, and let your fangs descend,” she directed.
I thought back to the field and the moment where I let the darkness that had called to me for so long finally enter, becoming a part of me. As it settled inside of me, it centered me. I opened my eyes and saw Calledora staring at me. “What, did I do something wrong?” I asked, worried.
“No, that was incredibly fast for your first time outside of a battle,” she commented in awe.
“Oh, is that a bad thing? Like, if you eat your dinner too fast and get gas or something?”
“Ha! No, nothing like that. It’s a very good thing, I think I just need to stop underestimating you. So now you need to lift his wrist to your mouth, and sink your fangs into his flesh there. The venom will enter his body, giving him pleasure instead of pain, as well as keep the punctures open so you can feed. When you’re finished, withdraw your teeth, nice and easy so you don’t tear his flesh, and lick the wound. Your saliva will heal the punctures quickly so there will be no trace of what occurred,” she explained.
Tattoos and Cupcakes (Amulet of Queens Book 1) Page 20