Kass grabbed his hand. “But you are. Don’t you see. I want you to be safe, and I don’t know how else I can do that. I didn’t think I could ever give up magic, but while you slept last night, all I could think about was something happening to me and you pining away, alone.”
That’s what Kass had been thinking about? Bailey’s dreams had been far more delightful—running through the snow, fucking in the snow. He wanted to experience snow.
“It would be nice if every witch cared as much about their familiar, Kassidy, but the breaking of a bond is a serious thing and can take many months of recovery. Not only that, but your familiar doesn’t want to break it, and you’ve both confessed to loving and caring for each other so in this situation breaking the bond goes against everything the Coven recommends.”
“And if I die?” Kass said like he thought it would happen. The anxiety had become a cold dread that filled his bones. “I have two more years before I’m done.”
“Why are you being so morbid?”
Kass glanced away. “Maybe I’ve lost my nerve.”
“Maybe because you had nothing to really lose before. Now you have a mate.” She rested her elbows on the desk. “I can offer you a protection amulet.”
Kass sighed and nodded.
“Bailey, I’ve accessed your parole requirements and I understand you want to move states.”
Kass’s response was like a kick to the gut. No matter what he said, he didn’t want Bailey to move away, which only made it harder even though he had to.
“I can’t stay in Sydney, my family...” He shook his head.
“And I can’t ask you to.” Kass said. His lips turned down like this meeting was pressing on every bruise. “If we can’t make it work with magic and love, then what chance do we have?”
“We have time,” Bailey said. He’d had six months with nothing to do but think. He wasn’t even nineteen yet. He didn’t know who he was. He needed to find his own life. “You told me I was too young, but without meeting you and starting this thing, I wouldn’t have gotten away from my family and I couldn’t be the kind of man you want to be with. Imagine if we’d met in five years. I’d be trapped. You wouldn’t look twice at me. And the connection would go unfulfilled. This way it’s made. The Fates got things started because they needed to.”
“You believe in the Fates?”
“I don’t know, but we work well together. I want to be better. I want to be the one you can take home to meet your parents.” He looked away, unable to take the intensity of Kass’s gaze. “And I’m not that person yet.”
Kass frowned and nodded. “So you’re saying we wait it out?”
“I guess. You have to do your thing and I need to get my life sorted. Then…” Now he was saying it, it was too much. How could this work? He didn’t want to be away from Kass when he’d only just gotten his hands on him. He let everything unravel through the bond. He wasn’t pushing Kass away, but he wasn’t able to hold him either, and it tore him up because he wanted everything, and it was always out of reach.
Kass reached over and put his hand over Bailey’s. “I know, exactly. But you’re right, and it makes sense in a weird way.”
Bailey looked at the witch across the table. “I want to move to Melbourne, away from my family, but one of the parole conditions is that I’m not allowed to move without a job. And I have nothing.” And he might be unemployable.
“I can put out feelers for work,” the woman said.
“Do snow leopards have a bad rep in Melbourne too?” If so, he’d go somewhere else. “I don’t want more trouble.”
“I can look into it. Is there anything you’re especially interested in?”
Bailey shook his head. “I never let myself think that far ahead. I’ve finished school—I’m sure you’ve copies of my academic record—but that’s all.”
“Okay, that makes it easier if you’ll take anything.” She lifted an eyebrow and Bailey nodded. “Do you need a place to stay?”
“Yes…” His gaze flicked between Kass and the witch. “But that can’t be free too.”
“It’s not, but we have a few places were paranormals can stay if they need emergency accommodation. We want to make sure you land on your feet and don’t end up back in jail again, as it makes everything complicated.
“You reckon?”
She gave him a tight smile. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Bailey shook his head and glanced at Kass, hoping he wouldn’t bring up breaking the bond again.
“No.”
Bailey popped the rest of his Danish in his mouth before they left—he wasn’t wasting good food—and it gave him something to do besides chewing out Kass.
They were halfway down the block before Bailey said anything. “What the hell? You could’ve asked me instead of ambushing me.”
Kass stopped walking, and Bailey turned to face him.
“I have no control over this. When I drive, when I shoot, when I walk through a crowd. All the time I control the world with tiny nudges. But this…this is something else, and it scares me.”
“It scares me too. But I also won’t waste it. We have two weeks, then you’ll be gone, and I’ll be moving, and when you return, we can try again, or not. I won’t ask you to promise me forever or anything.”
“We have terrible timing.” Kass’s eyes were glassy. “I’ll find you when I get back.” He touched his chest over his heart. “I’ll always find you.”
“Now you sound like a stalker.” But he kissed his witch like he’d never be kissing him again. Because for all his bravado, he was afraid for Kass and for himself and what the future held.
Neither of them could promise the other a life.
Getting his life together wasn’t as simple as moving to the outer suburbs of Melbourne and getting a job, though both those things had happened with the Coven smoothing the way. He was still on parole, but that was tolerable—someone checking once a week to make sure he went to work and was behaving himself, which he was.
He needed his driver’s license, so he’d done lessons and had now roped one of the other shifters living in the Coven-owned share house into sitting in the car with him as he drove to get his hours up. Work at the meat-packing plant filled the time and put money into his account. The hours weren’t great, and he was the only one who didn’t bitch about the cold. Once he had his forklift license, he’d get a pay rise and then he’d consider moving out of the share house. But the rent was cheap, and it wasn’t like he needed space for visitors.
Bailey lay in bed, in the dark, waiting for his alarm to go off, typing an email to Kass that he probably wouldn’t receive for weeks. The last message Bailey had received had been about two weeks ago, and Kass had said he would be spending a lot of time away from the unnamed base. Mostly Bailey felt his boredom—which was far better than adrenaline. Boredom meant he was safe.
Happy one-year anniversary! Does it count when we’ve spent so much time apart? I think it does because we haven’t actually ever been apart. I’m settling in at work and I’ve moved from the emergency accommodation to a share house not too far from the plant. It’s nothing special, but it’s a place to stay.
I haven’t heard anything from my family. Hopefully I never will.
I’m going to the mountains this weekend so I can see snow. I don’t know if I’ll go for a run, but there’ll always be a next time.
Love
B
Chapter 16
Kass caught a taxi through the Melbourne rain to the address Bailey had given him. He hadn’t said he was back, but Bailey would know. He’d feel it, in the same way Kass knew he was getting closer. His skin tingled with anticipation. The sky darkened as the storm closed in. Rain drummed on the roof of the taxi, drowning out the radio.
He’d made sure he’d gotten leave for as soon as he was back. Had booked the flight to Melbourne and barely made it in time. Now he was only minutes away. Only minutes, but after all the time away, the extra seco
nds were too much.
The taxi pulled up out the front of a very ordinary looking house. Nothing about the blue weatherboard and white picket fence said witches and shifters lived there. He paid, grabbed his backpack off the back seat and got out, his shoes splashing in the puddles on the pavement. The taxi pulled away and the front door opened.
For a heartbeat, Kass couldn’t move.
It had been nine months, and he wasn’t sure if they could do more than fuck each other senseless before leaving again. But Bailey was a magnet he couldn’t resist. Maybe this time wasn’t right either, but that wouldn’t stop him from trying.
He opened the gate and walked through. Then Bailey was down the stairs and into his arms. Kass breathed him in. Bailey had grown his hair, but it was still dark. He was the same, yet different again.
“I knew you were coming.”
“How could I not?” He brushed the wet, dark strands off Bailey’s face and kissed him carefully, hoping that Bailey didn’t tell him it wasn’t like that anymore.
Bailey returned the kiss with a heat and hunger Kass had missed. “Come inside. You need to take your clothes off and get dry.”
His shoes squelched as he walked up the steps. Then Bailey stopped on the top step and turned to stare up at the sky. The rain gave way to fat flakes of snow that drifted to the ground only to dissolve.
Bailey closed his eyes and smiled. “I think this time is better.”
Kass reached into his pocket, unable to take his eyes off his mate as snow dusted his eyelashes and hair. He was too pretty. He’d wanted to save it for dinner or something, but now was the moment. In the snow.
“Bailey,” he dropped to a knee on the wet concrete step, determined to get part of this right.
Bailey looked at him, his eyes widening in delight as he saw the ring. “Are you…”
“I am asking you to marry me. We don’t have to rush it, but I don’t want anyone else. And even if I only see you half the time, that’s better than not having you at all. That’s not the bond or the magic, that’s me. I love you and that hasn’t changed. And I want to make it work.”
“Yes. Of course I’m going to say yes.” He held out his hand and Kass put the silver band with three small inlaid sapphires on his finger. Bailey’s smile was worth everything.
Bailey pulled Kass up and into a soggy embrace.
Happiness radiated off him and Kass surrendered all his doubts and gave into Fate.
Epilogue
Even as a human Bailey’s footsteps were barely visible in the snow. Kass followed, sinking with each step. He’d found the abandoned cabin while hiking over summer—Bailey had been off chasing butterflies or doing whatever he did in the wild on four legs. The cabin was the perfect place to base winter shifts from. Somewhere for Bailey to warm up after and a place he could wait without freezing his ass off for hours. He hoped Bailey thought it perfect too.
He smiled as he watched his fiancé stride up the hill, the shin deep snow not bothering him at all. His long dark hair hung loose under the stocking cap. Kass’s family were slowly coming around, they’d had a year to become used to the engagement. And while they hadn’t liked his move to Victoria, there wasn’t much they could do about it when he had a posting—courtesy of the Coven. Friends in high places made things happen.
Bailey stopped and tilted his head. Then he drew in a deep breath. Kass’s hand slid to the knife on his belt—for camping and gutting fish and anyone who tried to kill them.
The image of a snow leopard flicked through his mind. That’s what Bailey was smelling, sensing. They’d worked hard to build up what they shared over the bond. While they couldn’t use words, when Kass was away they shared more than just feelings, more like silent movies of what was going on with added emotion.
Bailey’s left hand twitched.
Kass made a show of catching up to him. “Do you know them?” he asked in a low voice while scanning the area to the left.
He didn’t expect to see anything. He rarely spotted Bailey unless he wanted to be seen. He’d watched Bailey disappear in a supermarket. Not invisible, but somehow his gaze had slid right off him. He’d used that magic while overseas. Hiding while the enemy had been too close. He’d smelled the sweat and tobacco, but hadn’t been found. If there was a snow leopard watching them, and it attacked, they were in trouble.
“No,” Bailey whispered. “I don’t know if that is a good thing or not.”
“Keep going or turn back?”
For an answer Bailey started walking again. This time he slowed, and Kass stayed a step behind. But there were no footprints for him to follow. If he hadn’t known Bailey was right there, he might have missed him.
Something moved. Kass drew the knife but kept it at his side. The snow leopard strolled out of the snow-dusted gums. It walked with a slight limp and had a scar across its face, but it moved toward them with purpose. Like it had something to say.
The leopard made a few noises.
Bailey replied, then shrugged out of his coat. Kass made him wear a ski jacket, even if he didn’t feel the cold. He expected Bailey to shift, but he tossed the coat over to the leopard.
Kass moved closer to Bailey. “What are you doing?”
“She wants to talk.”
Kass glanced away as the leopard shifted. It was unpleasant to watch, but apparently not that bad to do. The clicking of tendons and grinding of bones made him wince. When Bailey did it, the shift reverberated through his body.
“You can look now.” The woman’s voice was rough, as though she didn’t use it often. Her brown hair was streaked gray in places, and a scar cut across her cheek and twisted her lower lip. Her nails were more like claws and caked with dirt. Whoever she was she’d had a hard life. She wore Bailey’s coat but stood bare feet in the snow like it didn’t matter. “You don’t recognize me.”
Confusion tumbled through Bailey, as he tried to match what he was seeing and smelling to memories. It was too much for Kass to process, so after checking there were no other shifters by using Bailey’s heightened sense of smell, he shuttered the connection. He had to keep Bailey safe.
“Mum?”
Kass glanced at the woman again, and this time saw the similarities in the eyes, the nose, and the set of her jaw. She gave a hesitant smile. “Yes. I’m sorry.” She took a few steps forward and stopped, her eyes darting to Kass and the weapon. “He’s a…”
“Kass, my mate and fiancé.”
She nodded. “I heard whispers that there was another snow leopard here. Then I smelled you. You got out. I’m sorry I couldn’t take you.”
“You’ve been feral this whole time?” Kass asked. She’d certainly be living wild. But she hadn’t lived as an animal for long enough to lose her humanity.
“Only for the first five—or was it six?—years.” She seemed confused for a moment before shrugging it off. “They needed to think I was dead. For a while I wanted to be. It was easier to be wild than human.”
She’d spent a lot of time as an animal, maybe just shy of giving up shifting to human. Kass sheathed the knife. If Bailey’s mum had made the effort to seek him out—after fleeing from her own mother—Kass doubted she would hurt him.
“Why didn’t you take me?” Bailey’s voice caught as though an old wound was flaring up.
“How could I care for a human baby when living as a leopard?”
“You could’ve found a way.” Kass put his hand on Bailey’s back in silent support.
“You don’t think I thought of and discarded a hundred different ideas?” She worried at her lower lip. “I was hoping I’d finally get to meet you.”
“I used to hope you’d come back for me.”
Her eyes widened, and she shook her head. “How did you escape?” She stared at Kass with the same clear, sharp gaze that Bailey had. “Did you help him?”
Kass nodded but didn’t get the chance to answer.
“I was set up and went to jail because I wouldn’t do what I was told.” Bailey�
��s voice held an edge.
“Yes, punishment…except I wasn’t sent to jail.”
Bailey frowned. “What did they do to you?”
She swallowed and studied the ground for several heartbeats. “They gave me a baby to make sure I’d stay.”
Bailey rocked back into Kass. Kass held him. He hadn’t needed to hear that. He wanted to hate her for causing Bailey more pain, but she’d been damaged by the same family and she had no one to help her and hold her.
“We’re heading to a shack, I found. Let’s have some coffee and get warm.” Kass was already freezing his ass off.
“You were the one in my winter house?” She looked at him, lip drawn back as though to snarl, but she sniffed and stepped closer.
Bailey took a step forward as though to protect him.
“I thought it was abandoned, I’m sorry. I was taking Bailey there. I thought it would be a good place to shift from.” Clearly it was since it was already in use.
“I don’t have coffee,” she said.
“I do. In my bag.” And he also had snacks and a book to read. This wasn’t his first time out with Bailey, and sometimes Bailey lost track of time. One hour accidentally became four and then it was a long walk and then drive back home. He made sure to never have a place to be after shifting-in-the-wild day.
She handed the coat back to Bailey, then shifted into a snow leopard. Kass wasn’t quick enough when looking away. The half-shifted form still left him with a primitive urge to run.
Then Bailey’s mum was bounding through the trees and gone.
Bailey glanced at Kass.
Kass sighed. “Go. I’m sure you’ll be able to find me and the cabin.”
Bailey stripped fast, handing Kass his bag and clothes. He pressed in close for a kiss. His mouth was cold, and he tasted like frost, but he wanted to run with his mother.
“Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah, I want to get to know her.”
“You aren’t going to go feral?”
“You don’t want to drop off the grid and live wild with me?”
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