by Woods, Karen
“You look deep in thought, Mama,” Alexei said.
“You know me too well, Lyosha,” she replied, with a small chuckle.
“Later this week and you will be starting a new chapter in your life,” he said.
“We will spend time Wednesday evening after Vespers in reading the Psalms, then we will be clothed in the habit of Rassaphore rank and bound to the monastery for the rest of our lives on Thursday morning during Divine Liturgy. It may be as high in rank as any of us go. People live their whole adult lives as monastics with never achieving higher rank.”
“I’d almost think you were frightened,” her son observed.
“Anyone approaching monasticism who wasn’t a little apprehensive should have his or her head examined.”
“I have every confidence in God that He will be with you in this way of life, Mama.”
She nodded. “We can only pray this is so.”
“We talked to Vladika. All three of us; Borya, Kiryusha, and me, we will be taking part in the tonsuring on Thursday, along with your chaplain, Father Samuel, and Em’s son-in-law, Philip, who is a priest.”
“Good. I want you there. But, it will make the altar area crowded.”
“I think we’ll manage.”
Rita laughed at the dryness of her son’s tone. “I am sure you will, my dear.”
“As long as you are sure that this is the life you want, I’m happy for you.”
“It is.”
“Father Boris says you are to become a nun this week,” one of her son’s college aged female parishioners said as she walked up to Rita. The young woman’s tone was decidedly puzzled. “Tell me why any well-educated, modern, woman would want to be a nun? Do you think that simply wearing a habit will make you into a more holy person?”
“No. Not at all. Tonsure is a good deal like the mystery of marriage. Just going through either ceremony will not make anyone holier than they were before. Wearing the habit is a good deal like wearing a wedding ring. Both are marks of the relationship one lives in. The real work on one’s soul, the real benefit of either Mystery, happens in the living out of the Mystery in one’s life, with perseverance and prayer, as a faithful member of Christ’s Church,” Rita replied gently.
“Why a nun? Why not just remarry?” the woman asked, still puzzled. “Why do something so drastic?”
“That’s like asking an engaged woman why she loves the man she is to marry, or asking a doctor why she chose her area of practice. There is no good answer that will make sense to anyone else. It is a matter of the soul’s desire. When I was a young woman, I sought to enter monastic life. Instead of that, I was encouraged, by everyone from abbesses to my bishop, to marry a good man and to raise children, which I did. My husband became a priest, and we served the Cathedral congregation, while we practiced medicine, and raised our children. But I’ve been widowed for several years, now. My sons are all grown and married. I have finally taken my bishop’s advice and have arranged become a nun with his blessing. This is nothing I’m am doing lightly or without a good deal of thought and prayer.”
The young woman nodded and smiled. “I see that.”
“I will probably fail more often than I succeed at this,” Rita confided on a sigh. “But when I fail, I will try again harder. Remember us, at Saint Maria Skobtsova Monastery, in your prayers.”
“I didn’t mean to sound so harsh,” the young woman explained, shaking her head. “I’m trying to understand what the appeal is to monasticism.”
“Come and spend a week with us. Make a retreat. We have extensive facilities as we run a medical spa for women. Come pray with us, walk the grounds, sit and read in our library, take an exercise class, go swimming, or, if you want, help out around the grounds with the livestock, the gardens, etc. Or go off grounds and go sailing for a day. There are many things to do in our area. Come and spend time with us.”
“I just might do that.”
Chapter Twenty
Setting down late Sunday night at Watertown International Airport, Rita was relieved to see Clint waiting for them, leaning on the car. He came and got their luggage before storing it in the trunk of the car.
It would be good to be home. And there was much work to be done before Thursday’s tonsuring. Then again, there was always work to be done. The day that there wasn’t work for her to do, she wouldn’t know what to do with herself.
“Everything under control?” Rita asked Clint as they drove away from the airport.
“Running smoothly. Doctor Em, according to Yulia, is terrific with the patients.”
“Anything else happening at the clinic?” Irina asked.
“Nothing too out of the ordinary. One of the tractors blew a head gasket and is out of service until the part comes in and I can get time to fix it, probably late next week. Otherwise, not too much of interest has happened. We had two new patients arrive on Saturday afternoon and three others leave. But that was expected. How was the baptism?”
“Glorious,” Irina replied.
“I expected nothing less,” he said.
Immediately after returning to campus, Rita went to her office. She sat at her desk going over files on the new patients who had come into the clinic during her absence. She had worked out a preliminary treatment plan for each woman based on their medical records, prior to her leaving for the baptism. The actual admissions workups with Em did on these women showed no surprises.
She closed the files and looked at her email. A knock came at the door. “Come in. It’s open.”
James entered, carrying a tray. “Irina Danielova said you hadn’t eaten since lunch,” he said in Russian.
She smiled at him and spoke in English, “You spoil me, James. Thank you.”
“Hardly, you can’t spoil anything that is already thoroughly rotten,” he teased, in English, with a chuckle.
She laughed out loud. “True enough. What did you bring me?”
“It’s a cold roast lamb, tomato chutney, rosemary chevre, and arugula sandwich on sourdough bread, a mixed greens salad with blue cheese dressing, some spiced peaches, and pot of tea. You only have a few more days until you will be largely vegan, with some fish and shellfish, as you live under the monastic fasting rules,” James said, smiling. “I can give you a few treats until the bishop gives you that holy haircut.”
James put the tray down on the desk. He took the “patient’s” chair across the desk from her.
She crossed herself and said a blessing of the meal.
“Something on your mind?” she asked after taking a bite of the sandwich. “This is utterly delicious, thank you.”
“Your meals after you become a nun.”
She continued to eat. “I emailed you the outline. Do you have any questions?”
He nodded. “Nope. As I understand it, except for major fasts, it is basically what you have done during the Apostle’s Fast. Monday, Wednesday and Fridays are strict; no meat, fish, dairy, wine, or oil. Tuesdays and Thursdays, add in wine and olive oil. Saturday and Sunday, add in fish, wine, and olive oil. On any strict fast day, shellfish, octopus, and squid, basically any seafood without a spine, can be prepared as protein, but you prefer to keep those protein sources at a minimum, and to eat less expensively. So, it’s legumes, nuts, nut butters, beans, vegetables, etc., most of the time. During Great Lent, you three will maintain the strict fast, without wine and oil, except for Annunciation and Palm Sunday, when you can add in fish, wine, and oil. There will be fish on major feast days like Pascha, and Christmas, and during fast free weeks. There are even stricter fasting days, like the first and last week of Great Lent. But that is nothing new. Most of the time you will have two meals a day in the dining room or in a meeting room, lunch and dinner. You will do breakfasts in the nuns’ residence, at least on days without a celebration of the Divine Liturgy. The kitchen there is well stocked for vegan breakfasts. And you will just need to come to the kitchen storeroom to restock.”
She swallowed the bite of the salad and smiled. “
Basically, yes. We will be doing physical work in the care of people. We need a little relaxation of the most rigorous of the monastic fast. You will still maintain the fuller offerings of meat, eggs, and dairy for the staff and patients,” Rita said. “Hospitality requires that we serve the needs of our guests and staff members.”
“Of course,” James agreed.
“Our schedules in caring for the patients can make for odd hours and missed meals. So, we should have some canned vegan soups and crackers in the kitchen of the nuns’ residence, as well, so we can handle missed meals without bothering you at odd hours.”
He sighed. “Your schedule always has made for odd hours and irregular meals… And it’s never been a bother to feed you… I can’t believe it would ever be a bother… Canned vegan soups? Like I would ever do something like that to anyone whom I lov… er… care about. Not going to happen. However, I have laid in a selection of good homemade vegan soups in single serving vacuum sealed pouches in the freezer here; lentil, black bean, vegan chili, split pea, minestrone, red bean and rice, white bean and barley, and so forth. You can keep the freezer compartment of the refrigerator in the residence stocked with a variety of good, nutritious, delicious soup. The pouches will be easily able to be thawed and reheated.”
“Thank you.”
“Now, I’m going to ask you only once. Are you absolutely sure about this? It isn’t too late for you to remain a laywoman.”
“Nuns are laywomen, by definition,” she corrected with a chuckle. “But, yes, I know what you mean. This is what I want for my life. I want to concentrate on my relationship with God.”
“That’s good enough for me. I will do whatever I can to make your life flow more smoothly, as I have from the first day I came to work for you.”
“Thank you, James. I appreciate all your efforts. This meal is lovely, thank you.”
He nodded. “There will be a luncheon after the tonsuring. It’s on Thursday, so I will do a buffet with: an assorted vegetarian antipasto tray containing vegetarian dolmades, olives, roasted vegetables, my garlic hummus, and toasted pita quarters; a meat and cheese antipasto tray containing prosciutto, salami, brie, pickled vegetables, deviled eggs, and crackers; a mixed greens salad with choice of dressings; a Caesar salad; Greek Salad; chicken artichoke casserole; shrimp scampi over rice; rolls; pears poached in red wine; and spiced nuts. There will be a champagne punch, coffee, tea, and water.”
“That menu sounds good.”
“Several guests will be arriving on Wednesday and staying until Friday or longer.”
“My sons and their wives will go into my former cottage and Janet’s cottage. I’ve put Vladika in the second bedroom of Janet’s former cottage. He and Borya will be sharing that cottage. Sonya isn’t coming. She’s staying home with the children. And my childhood friend Tanya is coming to take the photos. She’ll be here Wednesday early afternoon and will leave late on Friday afternoon. She will be with Yulia and Clint in their second bedroom. Em’s daughter, Caroline, and son-in-law, and her grandson will be in one of the empty staff apartments.”
“That agrees with what I know.”
Rita sighed. “I just assumed you would have this under control. I took your service for granted. Forgive me?”
“I would walk through hell naked for you. You have to know that,” James said, more than a shade of romantic passion in his voice.
“Here’s hoping it never comes to anything close to that,” she dismissed, forcing a smile, as she debated how to handle this without hurting him.
“Look, it’s okay. I knew when I started working here that you were a priest’s widow. There could never be anything between us, except friendship. It’s not your fault that I fell in love with you. You never gave me any encouragement. You’ve always treated me with the same respect that you show to everyone on staff.” He sighed, “It’s not my fault either. It just happened. The heart goes where it will. If you want me to leave here because I make you uncomfortable, just say so.”
“You could never make me uncomfortable. I just don’t ever want to be a source of pain for you. You are, have been, and I hope always will be, a good friend. I don’t know what I would do without you taking care of me. I do appreciate your friendship.”
He nodded. “That’s what’s important. Seems that you are done with your dinner.”
She looked down at the tray and realized that she had eaten everything. She crossed herself and silently prayed the prayer of thanksgiving after a meal. “It would appear so. Thank you. This was delicious. I am just sorry that I have practically inhaled it, instead of savoring your delicious cooking. Your efforts deserve more respect than that.”
“You always eat quickly. I suspect that is from all the years where you had to eat quickly during your medical training in order to get back to work. I’m just glad that I am able to tempt you to eat something. You are entirely too thin. I will walk you to the nun’s residence, now, and then I will come back for the dishes.”
“I can see myself there. You have already gone well beyond the call of duty,” she said.
“Nonsense, taking care of people is my duty and my joy, and there is no going above and beyond there. Especially not for you.”
“James, thank you. I appreciate your efforts more than I can say.”
“It is good to know that my work is valued. Now, let me walk you home.”
“Not necessary.”
“I’d be worried if it was necessary.”
Walking across campus with James beside her, Rita felt as though she was being watched. The hair on the nape of her neck was decidedly prickling. She stopped and looked around. But she saw no one. Still, the sensation of threat lingered.
Chapter Twenty-One
On Thursday morning, Irina, Rita, and Em all walked toward the chapel dressed in ankle length, long sleeved, white linen tunics and cheap black plastic gardening clogs which they would remove once they entered the chapel. Coming barefoot and in the minimal clothing necessary for modesty was part of the shedding of the world, and fit in with the baptismal analogy for the entering into this state of life. In ages past, people would have stood for tonsuring wearing hair shirts, if they wore anything at all.
The three women wore their hair streaming down over their shoulders and down their backs, in preparation for the tonsure. And because they were going into church, they had covered their heads with long rectangular scarves made of the same white linen as their tunics.
Rita still couldn’t shake the sense of someone looking at her with malevolent intent. That constant sense of danger looming had remained with her since Sunday night. But she hadn’t seen anyone. She told herself that it was just an overactive imagination, but she couldn’t make herself dismiss the feeling.
Entering the chapel, which was empty except for the clergy who were all in the altar area, and Tanya who was taking photos, the women venerated the icons and lit candles before taking their places in the right side choir. But the Hours weren’t supposed to begin for another twenty minutes. It would be thirty-five minutes until the Divine Liturgy began. The whole service this morning would be two and a half to three hours, depending on how long Em’s son-in-law, Philip, preached. There was a joke, only a slight exaggeration, that it takes a day to make a nun.
Vladika came out of the altar area and walked over to them. “You are all ready for this?”
“Yes, Vladika, I believe we are,” Rita replied.
He smiled. “This makes me very happy to be part of this day.”
“Us, too,” Em said. “Thank you, Sayedna.”
The bishop smiled broadly. “You know the order for the day. We’ll pray the Third and Sixth Hours, then go into the Divine Liturgy. At the Little Entrance, you three will come forward to stand at the foot of the Ambon before the Royal Doors. You will make one prostration, then stand. I will do the tonsuring and give you the habit. Once you are all tonsured and clothed, you will go to the choir on the left side of the chapel, and the Divine Liturgy will continue. Yo
u three will come forward first for communion then return to your places in the choir. After this, anyone else properly prepared and disposed will commune. Just before the final blessing and dismissal, we will install Matushka as Abbess of this Monastery. Then after the dismissal, you will greet those who have come here. The form for the greeting is that they will ask your new name. You will tell them your new name, and add that you are a sinner. They will then ask you to save yourself and to pray for them. They may kiss your hand or the gospel book or icon you hold in your right hand. Be careful not to set anyone ablaze because you will be holding a lighted candle in your left hand.”
“Yes, Vladika,” Rita answered, with a chuckle.
“After installation as the abbess here, Matushka, people may ask you for a blessing. You will be the authority here. Even in my presence, give blessings when they are asked.”
“Yes, Vladika,” she replied, her voice small.
“I want to make sure I have both your current Christian names and your new names correctly in my mind. Doctor Greer, you are Emilia and you shall henceforth be known as Nun Elizabeth, for Elizabeth the Mother of the Forerunner. Doctor Melnikova, you are Irina and you shall be Nun Olga, for Equal to the Apostles Olga of Kiev. Matushka, you are Margarita and you wish to be known as Nun Maria, for Maria Skobtsova, the patroness of this holy house to whom you have long had a great devotion. Is this correct?”
“Yes, Vladika,” Rita replied. “You are correct.”
“I am of a mind, Matushka, to tonsure you to Stavrophore rank. You have lived as a nun in all but name since your widowhood. Your confessor, Father Samuel, has urged me to tonsure you to the Little Schema, as he stands convinced, as I do, as your son Priest Boris does, that your soul is well prepared for this challenge.”