by Vicki Beeby
Some of the weight of guilt lifted. ‘Promise you’ll be careful. I…I do care about you.’ It was the best she could manage.
‘I won’t do anything reckless. You have my word.’ He studied his cup for a moment then raised his eyes to meet hers. ‘I’ll write to you. Will you write back?’
Her heart lifted. ‘Yes. I’d like that.’ She would treasure every word of his, and maybe she would be able to include in her letters the words she was unable to say.
Peter’s face lit up, his eyes creasing. ‘Thank you. Remember, I haven’t given up on you, May Lidford, so don’t give up on yourself.’
Chapter Twenty-Two
Evie’s head was swimming by the end of her watch. The attack hadn’t lasted long, but after the observers reported the departure of the last of the Messerschmitt Bf 110s, the Ops Room had been abuzz with reports of the damage. Evie could picture the scene above ground, as people rushed to mark the positions of unexploded shells and to fill in the craters left by the bombs that had exploded. The last hour of her watch was spent waiting tensely for news of a fresh wave of attack, but as the minutes stretched out and no further hostile plots were announced, she allowed herself to relax. Her limbs felt heavy as though she had personally fought every battle instead of merely plotting them.
Jess tapped her arm as soon as they were relieved. ‘Come on. I want to find May.’
May! Evie’s weariness fell away. No reports of deaths had filtered down to them, but there had been several injuries caused by shrapnel. Evie couldn’t relax until she knew May was safe and unhurt. They raced up the steps.
To Evie’s relief, the damage wasn’t as extensive as she’d feared. She could see that a hangar had been flattened, and the ground crew were busy filling in holes on the airfield, but the main buildings were untouched. May would still be on duty, so Evie and Jess directed their walk towards the Transport section. May could usually be found tinkering with an engine or polishing the cars, but there was no sign of her.
A WAAF with sergeant’s stripes was directing a couple of newly arrived WAAFs. After she had finished and turned to her own vehicle, Evie and Jess hurried up to her.
‘We’re looking for May Lidford,’ Evie said. ‘She wasn’t hurt, was she?’
The sergeant gave a grim smile. ‘She’s fine. I’ve just heard the road’s been bombed, though. She’s stuck on the other side of the river.’
Evie tried to picture the geography of the area. If May couldn’t cross the river by road, she’d have to get back on foot, through woods and over hills. ‘How is she going to get back?’
‘Apparently a local farmer can take her across the next bridge then get her across the fields in his tractor.’ The sergeant turned away, clearly impatient to get on with her work.
‘Come on,’ Jess said to Evie. ‘Let’s go and find some food. I could eat now we know May is safe.’
They were halfway to the canteen when Evie caught a glimpse of Flight Officer Ellerby, who was consulting a clipboard and directing a group of WAAFs who seemed to be setting up a makeshift first-aid point. ‘Save me a seat,’ she said to Jess. ‘There’s something I have to do first.’
She dashed up to Ellerby and saluted.
‘What do you want, Bishop? As you can see, I’m very busy.’
Jean Ellerby might have got over her initial dislike of Evie, but this was hardly the most encouraging start. Nevertheless, Evie plucked up her courage. ‘I’d like to speak to you when it’s convenient, ma’am.’
‘What about?’
Evie bit her lip. She’d hoped to delay that until she’d had a chance to frame her request. But it was too late to back down now. She drew a deep breath and said, ‘I’ve been thinking about officer training, ma’am. I wanted to find out what opportunities there are and whether you would recommend me.’
There was a long pause while Jean Ellerby regarded her steadily. Evie felt a flare of resentment that a woman not much older than her could make her feel like a naughty schoolgirl being hauled up in front of the headmistress. She straightened her back and thrust out her chin. She would show Flight Officer Ellerby she wasn’t intimidated by her any longer.
Finally, the section officer gave a curt nod. ‘As I recall, you’re off duty at eighteen hundred hours. Come and see me then.’ She strode away without waiting for a reply.
Evie sagged with relief then dashed to catch up with Jess. Someone as blunt as Jean Ellerby would have told her on the spot if she didn’t think Evie was officer material. She must think Evie stood a good chance of being accepted if she had agreed to a meeting.
‘What was all that about?’ Jess asked when Evie caught up with her at the entrance to the NAAFI.
‘Nothing much, I’ll tell you later,’ Evie replied. There was no point in saying anything until she’d heard what Ellerby had to say.
Thankfully their next watch was quieter. The Germans must have given up trying to destroy their station because no hostile aircraft came close. They dispatched a couple of flights to intercept bandits detected off the coast but each time the German aircraft fled for the French coast after a brief engagement.
‘Ending a watch when none of our pilots were injured is the best feeling,’ Jess said as they emerged from The Hole.
Evie was about to answer when an extraordinary sight caught her eye: a tractor spattered in mud was trundling through the gates. Perched on the seat beside the driver was none other than May. She caught sight of Jess and Evie and waved madly. The tractor jerked to a halt outside the Admin block, and May climbed down.
‘What a day I’ve had,’ May exclaimed when the girls ran up to greet her. ‘We had to go miles out of our way to get here.’
‘Are you all right?’ Jess asked, looking May up and down. ‘You look like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards.’
‘Actually, it was headfirst.’ May gave a brief account of her adventures. ‘I know I must look a fright, but I’d love a lager and lime right now. Are you two off duty?’ She turned to the driver. ‘Will you join us, Mr Bowes? I owe you a drink after all your help.’
‘I can manage a quick one,’ Mr Bowes replied. ‘Only a quick one, mind. The missus will have my head on a pitchfork if I’m home too late.’ He gestured to the tractor. ‘Hop aboard if you’re coming. You can arrive in style.’
‘I’m game.’ Jess hitched up her skirt and climbed aboard. ‘Coming, Evie? We deserve a break after the day we’ve had.’
‘I’ll meet you there. There’s something I’ve got to do first.’ It was time for her chat with Flight Officer Ellerby and being late would hardly be the way to convince her that Evie was officer material.
When she got to Ellerby’s office, Evie paused to straighten her uniform then knocked at the door.
‘Come in.’
Evie pushed open the door and saluted smartly. It took a supreme effort to keep her back straight after spending most of the day hunched over the plotting table. At Ellerby’s invitation, she took a seat and mentally rehearsed her request. She’d gone over it in her head ever since the flight officer had agreed to see her, but she couldn’t for the life of her remember what she had decided to say.
‘Tell me what this is about, Bishop. Make it brief. It’s been a difficult day.’
‘This won’t take long, ma’am.’ Evie groped for the right words. ‘I…I’ve been wondering for some time about the opportunity to do officer training,’ she stammered finally.
Jean leaned forward, regarding Evie with a thoughtful gaze. ‘And what decided you to ask?’
‘I…’ I’ll go mad if I spend every day gazing at a block of wood on a map that shows exactly how much danger Alex is in. But that wouldn’t go down well. She summoned up the Evie who had impressed the interview panel at Somerville. Straightening her shoulders fractionally, she said, ‘I’ve learnt a lot as a plotter, and from comments I’ve had from some officers, I think I’ve contributed a lot, too. But now I feel I’ve reached the limit of what I can achieve, and I want to stretch myself
.’
‘In other words, you feel your intelligence is wasted as a plotter.’
‘Oh, no, I didn’t mean—’ Evie could feel her cheeks burning.
‘As a matter of fact, I agree.’
‘I… What?’ Evie was so shocked, she completely forgot she was addressing an officer.
The corners of Ellerby’s mouth twitched in what could almost be described as a smile. ‘I agree. You have talents that could be put to far better use elsewhere.’
‘Oh. Thank you.’ Evie blew out a shaky breath, knowing full well that if she’d spoken to Jean Ellerby like that a few months ago, she’d have been scrubbing out the latrines for a week, special duties or not.
But Jean wasn’t finished. ‘Never apologise for possessing intelligence, Bishop. For as long as you continue in the WAAF, and in your chosen field of study, you’ll be faced with men with less intelligence than you who, unaccountably, always seem to get the accolades.’ There was something in her eyes that made Evie think the flight officer spoke from bitter experience. It occurred to her then that she had never stopped to wonder what had turned Jean Ellerby into the strict, friendless officer she had so loathed on her arrival. ‘Men never hide their intelligence, never apologise for it. Nor should you.’
For a moment Evie was reminded of Cornelia. It struck her then how lucky she was to have had such women in her life to guide her. ‘Thank you. I’ll remember that.’
‘See that you do.’ Jean glanced at a file on her desk. ‘Now, I see no reason why you shouldn’t succeed at officer training. Not only has your performance in Ops been exemplary, you’ve also been invaluable with teaching English to the Czech pilots.’
Evie glowed with pride. She had only been doing her duty, but it felt good to know her hard work was appreciated.
‘I’m going to recommend you for Filterer Officer training. Your work as a plotter and your mathematical abilities make you eminently suitable.’
‘Thank you.’ From her initial training as a plotter, Evie knew that Filterer Officers worked in the Filter Rooms of each Group HQ. Their work was to process all the information fed to them from the Chain Home stations and present them as plots which were then passed to their Group’s Operations Room and on to the Operations Rooms of each sector station. It was a hugely responsible and complicated task.
But you can do it. Believe in yourself, Evie Bishop. It was as though she could hear Cornelia saying those words to her.
‘Very well.’ Jean Ellerby rose. Evie, too, got to her feet. ‘I’ll process the forms and you’ll be notified when you have a place on the training course. If you pass that – which I have no doubt you will – you’ll then need to go through standard officer training.’
Evie saluted and turned to leave, but Jean called her back. ‘One other thing, Bishop. You might want to encourage those two friends of yours to see me for similar conversations.’
Evie was unable to stop the huge grin splitting her face. ‘I will, ma’am. Thank you.’
She floated from the office as light as air. The one thing that had worried her about going for promotion was leaving Jess and May behind. Being an officer while her two closest friends were mere aircraftwomen wouldn’t be easy. She wouldn’t feel so bad about being posted elsewhere if her friends would also be moving on.
She glanced at her watch. Plenty of time to celebrate at the Horse and Groom before she had to be back for her next watch. She hurried to find her bike.
* * *
The farmer who had brought May back to Amberton drained his glass and rose. ‘It’s been lovely meeting you girls, but I must be off. Take care, both of you.’
Jess watched him leave, then did what she’d been dying to do ever since she’d seen May arrive. She scrabbled in her gas mask case for her comb and compact and pressed them into May’s hands. ‘For goodness’ sake, go and tidy yourself up. I didn’t spend months teaching you how to make the most of your looks only for you to sit here looking like a scarecrow.’
May left without a protest. She hadn’t been out of the snug long when the outer door opened, and Evie appeared, accompanied by three pilots from Brimstone squadron. Jess’s heart gave a little flutter when she saw Milan stroll in and catch her eye. He pointed at her empty glass then at the bar and raised his eyebrows in a question. Jess gave him a nod, and Milan went to the bar.
Evie dashed over, her face flushed.
‘You’re looking happy, yet no sign of Alex,’ Jess said with a grin.
‘Milan says he’s catching up with his paperwork,’ Evie replied. ‘But that doesn’t matter. I have news.’ She looked around. ‘Where’s May?’
‘Gone to comb out the twigs from her hair. Nearly getting bombed to bits is no excuse to go around looking as though half the crows in the world have nested in your hair.’
At that point May emerged from the cloakroom looking far more like the elegant young woman she’d become in recent weeks.
Evie beckoned May over with a frantic gesture. Jess looked at her in surprise. What could have happened in the short time since Evie had mysteriously disappeared at the station? ‘Hurry up and sit down. I’ve got something to tell you, and I don’t want the others to hear yet.’
May took her seat, but Evie, maddeningly, didn’t speak. She studied her fingernails, a small frown puckered between her brows.
‘Come on, then. Spit it out.’ Jess half wanted to hear Evie’s news and was half afraid. Had Alex asked her to marry him? Whatever her reservations, Evie would have said yes. Women didn’t turn down a man like Alex Kincaith. Then everything would change. Evie would drift away from their close friendship. Jess only had two friends: Evie and May. She couldn’t bear to lose either of them.
‘I’ve just been to see Flight Officer Ellerby,’ Evie began in a low voice.
Relief made Jess vocal. ‘What did you want with that dried-up old bat?’
Evie laughed. ‘Hardly old. She can’t be more than her late twenties. And she’s not so bad once you get to know her.’
Jess snorted. ‘I admit she wasn’t so bad when we got bombed, but that was only because she was out cold.’
Evie’s lips twitched. ‘Maybe it would be more accurate to say she’s improved.’
‘But why did you see her?’ May leaned forward, her elbow dangerously close to a puddle of beer. Jess deftly whipped out her handkerchief and mopped up the spill before May could ruin her tunic.
Evie blew out a breath. ‘Don’t go mad until you’ve heard me out. I asked her about officer training.’
‘You’re going to be an officer?’ May’s eyes opened wide.
For once, Jess was at a loss for words. She swallowed against the sudden tightness in her throat. If Evie went for officer training, she would be transferred elsewhere. Their tight-knit group would break up. The kind of friendship she had yearned for all her life would be gone almost before she’d known it.
‘I don’t know yet. That’s why I don’t want anyone else to hear. They’d be bound to tell Alex, and I don’t want him to know yet.’
‘Why not?’ Jess forced the words through lips frozen in what she hoped looked like a genuine smile.
‘I want him to hear it from me. Only when it’s definite I’m leaving.’ Evie fiddled with a beer mat, lining it exactly against the corner of the table. She addressed her next words to the mat. ‘I love him. I know I do. But…’ She shot a glance at May then tilted her head to the side as though choosing her words. ‘I need to be sure about him. In Oxford, he swept me off my feet. It was like being in a Hollywood picture. But this is real life, and if things are going to work between us, I need to know he respects my opinion. Considers me an equal. I need to know if he’ll support my studies and career after the war, not expect me to stay at home and be a housewife.’
Jess swallowed. She felt a heel, resenting Evie moving on. No one deserved success and happiness more than her. She squeezed Evie’s hand. ‘So this is a test. A first step. Will he encourage you or resent you furthering your career?’
>
‘Exactly.’ Evie’s eyes shone. ‘Ellerby is putting me forward for Filterer Officer training. It’s exactly what I want to do – it’s more mathematical, so it will keep my brain sharp for going to Oxford if this damn war ever ends.’
‘Filterer Officer.’ Jess tried to hide the dismay in her voice. ‘That means you’d end up in one of the Group HQs.’
Evie’s smile faded, along with the glow in her eyes. ‘I know. That’s the one thing that’s made me hesitate. I don’t want to leave the two of you.’
‘You’ll be leaving Alex too,’ Jess reminded her.
‘That was actually another reason to go. You can’t imagine how awful it’s been, knowing exactly where he is all the time, knowing how many German fighters he’s facing. I don’t think I can do it much longer without going mad.’
There was a pause while they all processed this. May chewed her lip, and Jess knew she was thinking of Peter. She was about to ask her how she was faring now Peter had left, but Evie broke across her.
‘There’s something else. Ellerby told me you should both think about officer training.’
‘Us?’ Jess couldn’t believe Jean Ellerby might consider her worthy of promotion.
‘Yes. Both of you. She’s changed her tune about you ever since you were stuck in that bomb shelter.’
‘We would never get posted together,’ May said.
‘No, but you know what life is like in the WAAF. They’re constantly moving people around. Even if none of us applied for promotion, the chances are, we’d be split up before much longer.’
That made sense to Jess. The likelihood was they would each be transferred at some point so even if none of them applied for officer training, they were unlikely to spend the duration of the war together. ‘If we were all officers, it would be easier to socialise when we did see each other. You know how stuffy some people can be about officers not mixing with the rest of us.’
‘What do you mean, officers can’t mix with you?’ Milan arrived and placed the four glasses he’d been skilfully holding upon the table.