She braced herself.
“You need to cut him loose.”
Her stomach flipped. Her heart ached. An automatic denial sprang to her lips. “Give me a really good reason why you think that’s my only option.”
“Because even if he truly accepts what he is, you can’t keep him without harming him.”
“So I should set him free before he withers and dies in my captivity?”
“Your temporary captivity,” she corrected. “Proceed with caution, Shiori-san. From what you’ve told me, I suspect he’ll be submissive to only one woman—the first woman who breaks down his walls. Say that woman is you. You’re there now, but you don’t intend to stay. What happens to him then?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do,” she said sharply. “Be honest with me, but most of all, be honest with yourself.”
“I leave him here with an awareness of what he is and no Mistress to guide him or give him what he needs,” she recited with a bitter edge.
“Exactly. So you put the crack in his walls. Let some other Mistress knock them down the rest of the way and put him back together as she sees fit.”
A spike of jealousy caused her to snap. “So I just say, ‘Thank you for giving me your trust, but I’m done playing with you now’ and walk away?”
“Yes. Do it as soon as possible before you lose any more control of the situation.” Mistress Keiko sighed. “Your job as a Dominant is to set the parameters to suit yourself, not to suit your submissive.”
Bullshit. Maybe at first she believed in Keiko’s philosophy; be a rigid Mistress, act all-powerful and all-knowing at all times. But now Shiori realized she didn’t have to follow anyone’s rules but her own. “Thanks for the reminder, Mistress.”
“You’re just saying that to placate me,” Keiko complained. “You are stubborn and you will do whatever you want regardless of the advice I pass on.”
Shiori laughed. “True.”
“Then why did you call me?”
“You’re my mentor, and I wanted to make sure I was on the right path.”
“I was your mentor, and you’ve gone off the path completely. But I can’t fault you for that.” She paused. “Trust your instincts and he will too. Good luck.” She hung up.
A sense of melancholy washed over her. Then her thoughts rolled back to her conversation with Merrick and how he viewed her. After Mistress Keiko had cut her loose, as Mistress B she’d found freedom and confidence in herself, even if she did nothing more than strut around proclaiming her status as a Domme.
That jarred her.
Had she only been playing a part and that’s why she’d always heeded her mentor’s advice and rules?
No. She was a Domme. She hadn’t needed her own rules because she’d never ventured outside the club scene—which had its own rules. Now she had the submissive she’d been searching for. From the very start Knox had given her everything of himself, everything she’d asked for.
What had she given him of herself in return besides orgasms?
Nothing.
So much for your claim that you’d put his needs above your own.
Had she even considered his needs?
She remembered last week he’d mentioned changing the parameters of the time they spent together. Why hadn’t she made time to talk to him about it?
Because she’d been too concerned with maintaining her distance. Keeping a solid line between Shiori, his second-in-command, and Mistress B, his Domme.
If she wanted this to work, things had to change—she had to change.
She just hoped she hadn’t come to this realization too late.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
MONDAY afternoon before evening classes started, Knox called a meeting with all the MMA instructors. He could’ve just kept it to Black Arts instructors, but he invited Blue and his crew from ABC because chances were good the two programs would meld into one in the next year.
“The Black Arts MMA program needs a kick in the ass. And the faults with the program don’t lie solely with the instructors, but with our organization as a whole. For the past few months we’ve been letting Joe Blow off the street take part in MMA training as long as he can pay the training fees. On the business side, that’s not a bad move. Steady income keeps you all employed, and the students who want to excel will. Or so we thought. But what I’m seeing is our trainers giving equal instructions to the guys who’ll never go anywhere outside of the occasional smoker as they give to the guys who have serious potential.
“This is Sensei Black’s dojo. Even when I’m temporarily in charge, I’d never take action to change how he runs things. But I do feel that the MMA program is in its infancy here, and since Sensei hasn’t been as involved in it, changes need to be made so it will have the reputation that Black Arts does. An incredible opportunity has presented itself to us.” Knox looked at Ito, Fisher, and Deacon. “I will put your teaching skills up against anyone’s. So we’re looking to enhance what we’ve already got, not demolish it.”
He took a breath and looked at Shiori. She tapped her wrist, telling him to get on with it.
“Maddox Byerly is looking to move from LA and find a new challenge.”
“Whoa.” Fisher held up his hand. “The Maddox Byerly?”
“Yes. Shiori and I had a video conference call with him last week. We gave him our offer and time to think it over. He got back to us today.” Knox grinned. “He accepted! He’ll be moving to Denver in the next month.”
Everyone in the room started high-fiving one another. After they settled down, Knox said, “We’ve gotta keep this quiet until Maddox makes the announcement. At this point I’m not sure when he’ll tell people he’s revitalizing our program, or what.”
“Revitalizing?” Deacon said. “Hell, he’ll reinvent it.”
“The other thing is since Ronin is out of pocket, he’s not aware of this development.”
Shiori leaned forward. “We’ve signed nondisclosure agreements, so we can’t address specifics, but between us here in this room, I personally guaranteed Maddox’s salary for a year. If Sensei doesn’t want to re-up Maddox’s contract after that, it’s his business. I just didn’t want to see an opportunity wasted. I knew if we didn’t make the best offer we could afford, Maddox would go elsewhere.”
Half a million dollars. Knox still couldn’t wrap his head around having that kind of money in the bank, not to mention lending it without hesitation. Shiori’s phone call to her bank to move some money around lasted ten minutes. Within an hour they had the funds to make the offer.
“What’s the catch?” Deacon said.
“Maddox is starting the MMA program from scratch. He’ll hold auditions for fighters. After a one-on-one conversation with candidates, he’ll make his selections. It’ll be structured the same way—fighters paying us a training fee.”
Ito raised his hand. As the senior member of the dojo training staff, at least age-wise, Ito’s opinion held a lot of weight. “What are the chances he’ll want to hire his own training staff?”
“I don’t know. But we spent our entire budget on his salary, so there’s very limited budget for additional instructors,” Shiori said. “We e-mailed him bios from you three.” She turned and addressed Blue, Gil, Fee, and Terrel. “As well as all of yours since we’ll have crossover. I’d suggest, too, that your best fighters audition for him.”
“I’d ask if ABC would be expected to kick in for Maddox’s salary, but it sounds like Ronin isn’t kicking in either,” Blue said.
More laughter.
“And none of this would be possible if it weren’t for Gil,” Knox pointed out. “He’s the one with the personal family connection to Maddox, and he alerted us to the opportunity. So thanks, Gil.”
He inclined his head.
Fee raised her hand. “Is Maddox interested in a women’s fighting program?”
“I don’t know.”
She harrumphed and exchange
d a look with Shiori.
Okay, what was that about? “Any other questions?” He paused and looked around the room. “Then we’re done.”
The room emptied, leaving him alone with Shiori.
“That went well.”
“They’re not the ones I’m worried about. It’s Ronin.” He drummed his fingers on the table. “I wish he’d call in so I could talk to him.”
“We did the right thing.” She placed her hand over his. “Do you want to come over tonight?”
He pulled away from her. The lines between their public and personal relationships were getting harder to maintain. For him anyway. And he wasn’t in the mood for servitude. Yeah, Shiori would get pissed if she knew he’d called it that. “No, thanks. I’ll be ready for a beer and ten minutes in my steam shower when this day ends.”
“What is going on with you?”
I like you and want you to be my girlfriend as well as my Mistress. And I feel like a total whiny fucking pussy telling you that because you refuse to consider it.
Two raps sounded on the door and Blue poked his head in. “Got a minute?”
“Sure. Come in.” After Blue sat across from him, Knox said, “What’s up?”
“I didn’t want to bring this up in the meeting, but I think we’ll need to cancel the upcoming fight, smoker, whatever we’re calling it.”
“Why?”
“Low advance-ticket sales for one. We’ve changed the lineup twice. And if we cancel ten days out, we only lose the ticket sales plus a ten-percent penalty for the venue. And now knowing that Maddox Byerly will be in the mix for future events, it’s better if we cut our losses.”
“Who’ve you talked to about this?”
“Katie. She’s been trying to drum up interest, but nothing is working. We’re set to do a poster and flyer campaign starting next week, but that’s just more money flying out the door.”
Knox sighed and rubbed his eyes. “The guys have been working toward this, putting in extra hours . . .”
“And it hasn’t helped them a damn bit, because they all still look like thugs on the playground.”
“What the fuck, Blue?”
“It’s true. You’ve got two good fighters. Deacon and Ivan. It’d be best for you to cut your losses with the other trainees and not put them on an amateur card at all. They don’t need false hopes.” Blue leaned forward. “And do you really want to parade any of those guys past Maddox Byerly?”
Fuck. He hadn’t thought of that. “Deacon told me to let them go too.”
“Smart man.” His gaze moved between Shiori and Knox. “You okay with the fight card getting canceled?”
“What about delaying it?” Shiori suggested. “Pare the roster down to eight bouts. Have all of Black and Blue’s fighters on the card. Up the game. Get a big rival of Black Arts involved. ABC’s too. It’s worth a shot.”
Blue studied her. “Great idea. I imagine your problem-solving skills are missed at Okada.”
“I was the one stuck dealing with the poorly solved problems after the fact. So I’m happy to be here helping before problems become, well . . . problems.”
“Would you have time to meet with Katie in the next couple days?”
“I’ll check my schedule.”
“Cool. Thanks.” He stood. “Great news about Maddox. I’m glad you were able to step in because I sure couldn’t afford him.”
Knox got up after Blue left. “I’m heading down to catch Molly before Deacon’s class starts. I’ll tell her to contact Katie about event scheduling changes before she starts any promotion.”
“Knox.”
There was the Mistress voice. And dammit if it hadn’t made him stop. “What?”
“What is going on with you?”
“I’m just stressed.”
“Bullshit. Look at me.”
He turned and glared at her. “Don’t. Remember where we are. Something came up, so I’m turning over the advanced black belt class to you tonight.”
“Shihan—”
“Later. I’ve got shit to do.”
* * *
HIS shit to do included grabbing a six-pack and parking his ass on his back deck. He’d dragged out his fly-fishing gear, even when he hadn’t hit a stream in more than two years. Something about trying to perfect a series of line-snapping casts quieted his mind.
Yet the thoughts kept churning.
So far in three weeks running Black Arts in Ronin’s absence he’d managed to:
Piss off Zach and Jon by refusing to put them in the rotation to test for their next belt level.
Agree to totally dismantle the MMA program.
Hire a training coach whose first-year salary was more than the value of Knox’s house.
Fuck Ronin’s sister.
Maybe Ronin would fire his ass. Then what would he do? Not only would he lose his job, but he’d lose his friends. His identity.
Knox wasn’t one of those guys who wanted to own his own business. He’d always been content being second-in-command. Being told what to do and getting it done.
And yet you’re so surprised you’re submissive?
He tried to shut up his brain with another beer.
After a while he did lose track of time. He decided he’d take a real vacation this summer. Pack his fishing gear, find a stream and . . . Then again, vacationing alone seemed pathetic.
Man, he was riding high on a pity-parade float today.
His cell buzzed in his pocket and he ignored it. About a minute after it stopped buzzing, it started in again. He pulled it out and checked the screen.
Shiori.
She’d called twice. As he sat there with his phone in his hand she called again. So he answered. “Hello.”
“Knox? Are you at home?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I’ve been knocking on your door for five minutes.”
She was here? “Come around the side of the house and through the gate. I’m on the back deck.”
“Oh. Okay.”
The hinge creaked, and he watched for her to appear out of the darkness. The second she did, his mood shifted. “What are you doing here?”
“I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop in.”
“You were out cruising the Denver suburbs?”
“Looking for a good time. So I hope I came to the right place.”
Knox tugged her against him and wrapped her in his arms. He didn’t say anything, just held on to her. They’d been wary around each other all day after the way things ended on Saturday night.
Shiori tickled his armpits to force him to release her.
“What was that for?”
“Because I want a kiss.” She tipped her head back, closed her eyes, and puckered her lips.
Their bodies were still close—but not close enough—so he pressed his left arm into the small of her back. “Is that right?”
She cracked open one eye. “Yeah. And it’d better be a good kiss, too.”
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