by Linda Huber
‘Nicky, it’s your mum. She’s fallen downstairs. We’re waiting for the ambulance.’
‘Oh no. What has she hurt? Is she conscious?’
‘More or less. I think her leg’s broken. It’s at a funny angle. Joy Henderson’s here.’
Thank God. Her parents’ neighbour was a nurse, so at least everything possible was being done.
Nicola was thinking on her feet. ‘Okay. I’ll find out how best to get to you quickly, and let you know. Can you text okay?’ A quick message that would stay on his phone might be better than a call, but Dad didn’t use his mobile much.
‘I’m not sure.’
‘I’ll call your mobile, then, but it’ll take me a few hours to get there no matter how I come, so don’t worry if you don’t hear from me for a while. I’ll be on my way. I’ll see you as soon as I can, Dad. Give Mum all my love.’
She disconnected and pushed both hands through her hair. Where to start, where to start…
Ed came up behind her with the laptop and sat down at the table. ‘Newquay to Leeds is your quickest option if there’s a flight, or driving if there isn’t. I’ll check for you. What happened?’
Nicola filled him in, then ran upstairs, her heart thumping. Poor Mum, oh, this was when you wished you didn’t live so far away… And Kelly was close to her grandma; what an upset for the poor girl in the middle of her exams.
Kelly’s face was white as she came to help Nicola pack a bag. ‘She will be okay, won’t she?’
Nicola tried to sound reassuring. ‘I think so. She wasn’t unconscious, so I’m sure it’s nothing life-threatening. If her leg’s broken it might mean an operation, though. You’ll have to be brave, sweetie. Grandma would hate to think she’d upset you in your exams, so you hold it together and do your best, huh?’ Was that motivating or just plain mean? There was no way Kelly wasn’t going to worry.
‘Your flight’s booked!’ Ed shouted up the stairs. ‘We’ll leave for the airport in forty minutes. You’ll be there by three, so it’s a lot quicker than driving.’
Nicola’s legs gave way, and she sank down on the bed. Thank heavens she didn’t have to drive all that way in this weather. Kelly was folding tops, bless her. Nicola’s thoughts raced – she had forty minutes plus the car ride to help her daughter through the next few days.
‘Right, madam. Here’s the plan. I’ll let you know when I arrive at Leeds, and again when I’ve seen Grandma. Plus any other updates I get about her. In return, you do your absolute best not to worry, and carry on working for your exams. Okay?’
Kelly sniffed. ‘I’m coming to the airport.’
‘Of course. But as soon as you’re home again…’
‘Mum. What about Rock Home?’
Nicola’s head reeled. Talk about bad timing… ‘We’ll get you there. I’ll have a think and talk to your dad later.’
Kelly gave her a hug, and Nicola held her close. Spontaneous hugs had been in short supply this year. Her poor girl.
Ed didn’t speak as they walked back to the car after seeing Nicola off at the airport, and Kelly was silent too. Was he supposed to take on Nic’s reassuring role, telling Kelly that she’d cope with the exams, that Grandma would be fine and everything would be okay? Well, yes, of course he was, he was her father… In London, he’d have done all that without even thinking about it.
It was the house. It had changed his life for the worse once, and now it was changing things again, and he was helpless. How could he be a mother to Kelly when he didn’t even know how to be a father? In London, the sheer and blessed normality of their lives and most especially, the distance from Cornwall, had allowed him to hide from himself. He hated what he was – why was he allowing it to take control of his life again?
They drove back down the A30 as slowly as Ed could go. Thank God kids nowadays had their phones to fiddle with. He’d never had that luxury; even if smart phones had existed back then you could be damn sure he’d never have had one to distract him during car journeys with his father. Ed blinked. Those journeys had been the pits.
The car veered towards the centre of the road, and a horn blared.
‘Holy shit, Dad, you’ll have us in hospital too!’ Kelly was gripping the door handle, her face white.
He glared at her. ‘Watch your tongue, Miss. Your mother isn’t here any longer to make excuses for you.’ Please come home soon, Nic.
‘She doesn’t. At least she–’
Kelly broke off, staring, and Ed pressed his lips together hard. He was frightening her, good, but he was frightening himself as well. His hands were shaking on the wheel and his head was thumping. Help me, help me… How often had his silent pleas to his mother gone unnoticed? She’d given up on him, and he couldn’t blame her.
The cracks in his life were crevasses now, and with Nicola gone, there was no mother to protect Kelly either. And no one to protect him. He was going to fall in.
Chapter Fifteen
Sunday, 21st June
Kelly slammed her French book shut and rubbed her face with hot hands. Spending Sunday home alone while Mum was up north and Dad was at work was the pits. Not one single word was going to stick in her head, and as for the grammar… She was going to fail this exam on Tuesday, she could feel it coming. She checked her phone for the millionth time, but nothing new had come from her mother since this morning. Grandma’s hip had been pinned yesterday and the doctor said it all went well, but Mum still had no details about when Grandma’d get home or anything. Kelly trailed downstairs and grabbed a coke.
She was still sipping when her father arrived back and stomped into the kitchen with muddy boots.
‘You should take those off, look.’ Kelly pointed to a splodge of wet clay with her foot – Mum would have had a major moan about that.
He gave her a dirty look. ‘If you don’t mind, I’ll get a paracetamol for my headache first. That’s more important than changing my shoes. Floors are to walk on, you know.’
‘Mum would–’
‘She’s left us to our own devices, hasn’t she? And why are you sitting drinking coke when you have exams next week?’
‘I’m allowed a break, aren’t I?’
‘Well, you’ve had it. Go to your room and get on with what you’re supposed to be doing.’
Kelly cast her eyes heavenwards. ‘What’s rattled your cage?’ She spun round and left the kitchen without waiting for an answer. You’d think working in a country park would have a calming effect on people, but not Dad. And how unfair was that, left us to our own devices? It wasn’t like Mum had disappeared off on holiday.
Kelly sat in her room, defiantly playing games on her phone. Everything was crap. Her mother’s call an hour later improved nothing, because Grandma had a bit of a temperature and Mum’s unspoken anxiety zipped through the phone straight into Kelly’s gut. She couldn’t add to Mum’s stress by moaning about Dad’s grumpiness and mud on the kitchen floor, could she? And Mum didn’t even mention Rock Home. Kelly ended the call and clattered her phone down on the bedside table. Her whole life sucked. But big girl pants, Kel, you can go to London on the train by yourself, can’t you? What wouldn’t she give to be lying on her bed in London right now, listening to the buses rumble past?
The world was still turning the wrong way the following morning. The bus was late, and Kelly stood at the stop, fizzing with impatience. What would she do if it was late tomorrow, when she absolutely had to be on time for the exam? She kicked a stone around inside the bus shelter until it rolled onto the road, then checked her mobile again, but there was nothing. Mum had said there’d be more news by mid-morning at the latest, but if her text didn’t come soon, she wouldn’t be able to read it until lunchtime. Poxy school rules. Jess and Abby and everyone else in her old London school had study days off between exams, but oh no, not here. They had to go in. It was pathetic.
The bus arrived and made up for lost time by speeding along to St Ives, jolting the passengers relentlessly as it went. Kelly dived into school three s
econds before the bell went, and slid into her seat in the biology room another three seconds before Mrs Shipton arrived with an armful of past papers for them to try. Kelly worked her way through a multiple-choice paper, then collected the answer sheet to mark her own. She’d have passed, anyway. Not that it mattered today. When the bell went at the end of class, she fingered her mobile in her pocket. Should she risk switching it on to see if Mum–?
‘What are you doing, Kelly?’
Bloody hell, Mrs Shipton was something else. Her mobile wasn’t even visible. Kelly glared, heat coursing through her body, then to her horror she choked up completely.
Mrs Shipton motioned her to the side and stood beside her while the others filed out. ‘Kelly? Take your time.’
Kelly folded her arms tight across her middle. ‘My grandma’s in hospital and I’m waiting for my mum to text how she is today,’ she blurted out.
‘I’m sorry to hear that. Of course you can check your phone. What’s wrong with your grandma?’
Kelly muttered an explanation while her phone was starting, then stared at the message Mum had sent ten minutes ago. G much better today, waiting for the physio now. She sends her love. Will call you tonight and you can speak to her xxx. A huge sigh left Kelly’s lips as relief flushed out the tension. She showed the message to Mrs Shipton, who patted her shoulder.
‘That’s good news for you! Are you all right to go to your next class?’
Kelly stuffed the phone into her rucksack. ‘It’s a study period. Thank you.’
She flew downstairs and took her seat in the hall ready to think about her French, though… come to think of it, she still didn’t know when Mum would be back. Supposing it took weeks for Grandma to get properly better? Life without Mum was lonelier than she liked to admit.
She and Amy were alone at lunchtime that day, and Kelly was touched to see how pleased Amy was when she told her the latest about Grandma. One day, she and Amy might become almost as good friends as she and Jess were.
Back home after school, Dad wasn’t saying much but he seemed to be trying to make up for yesterday because he’d brought a steak and kidney pie from the good butcher in the High Street, and the short conversation with her grandmother later on was brilliant. Grandma sounded almost normal. But there was still no news about Mum coming home.
Kelly was already thumping around in her room when Ed got up on Tuesday morning. The first GCSE, and if she was anything like him, she would flunk it completely. But unlike him, she’d have no excuse. Kelly had a loving, supportive mother and a father who – who’d done his best, but his best had only been good enough in London. Ed cringed. Another failure to add to the list. He dressed quickly and went down to make a pot of tea for his daughter to turn her nose up at. If he’d done that… he’d have regretted it, put it like that.
When he arrived home from work that afternoon, Kelly was slumped on the sofa watching something mindless on TV.
‘Well? Did you muddle through?’ It was more encouragement than he’d ever had.
‘Muddle through’s right. The reading paper was really hard and all the others thought it was easy and I didn’t know enough food vocabulary.’
Wow. She must be really upset to blurt all that out. This was where Nic would provide a hug and hot choc and motherly love, but all Ed felt was frustration. Kelly had everything going for her, and still she wasn’t cutting it.
‘You’d better get upstairs and start learning for the next one, then, hadn’t you?’
She gave him a red-eyed look and fled upstairs. Ed’s mobile buzzed in his pocket, and he tapped to connect.
‘Nic?’
‘Hi. Mum’s doing okay, but it seems to be slower progress than they’d like. I forgot to tell you, Kelly’s birthday presents are on the top shelf of my wardrobe.’
Ha. Even with Nicola gone, Kelly’s sixteenth would be a different story to his. ‘Okay. Will you be back by Friday?’
‘I’m not sure – but she can go to London on the train, can’t she? Unless…’
Unless he took her. Ed’s jaw went tight. ‘We’ll talk about that later, huh?’ She rang off to call Kelly, and Ed went up for his after-work shower.
Kelly’s mobile rang when he was on the landing, and he stood still. There was Nicola, inquiring after darling daughter’s first GCSE, and oh God, what was making him like this? As if he didn’t know. With Nic gone, the demons of the past had moved in full-time, and there was no getting rid of them. He stood listening in to Kelly’s side of the conversation.
‘It was rubbish. I can’t have passed.’
He could imagine the flood of love and encouragement flowing into Kelly’s ears right now.
‘I bet it’s worse.’ Kelly sniffed loudly. ‘How’s Grandma?’
Long pause. What the hell was going on with Mary? Other old ladies recovered from broken hips with no drama, why couldn’t she? He needed Nicola here.
‘Tell her I love her, and I’m sure she’ll get the hang of her walking frame soon.’
Kelly was crying now.
‘Love you too. Bye, Mum.’
The call ended, and Ed slid forward into the bathroom and turned on the shower. If only he could wash the past away.
Nicola made dinner for her father, mulling over the call with Kelly. The poor girl sounded so down; all this was happening at exactly the wrong time. No way was Kelly going to feel like celebrating her birthday on Thursday. It might be better to go back to St Ives for a day or two. But then – her parents needed her here, Dad especially. He seemed to have shrunk since her mother’s accident; heaven knows how he’d manage when Mum was discharged. Nicola pressed cold fingers to her cheeks. Rushing all the way to Cornwall wouldn’t help Kelly more than a few supportive phone calls would, when she had another exam looming on Friday… though how good it would be to give her poor daughter a birthday hug. Her baby was hurting, oh help, maybe she should go.
She pulled her mobile out and texted. Thought I’d come home and help you celebrate on Thurs. G&G would manage for a day or two. xxx
The answering text came promptly. Let’s celebrate after my exams. I’m going to ask Amy and Beth for a birthday milkshake Thurs after school. Love to G&G. xxx
Tears shot into Nicola’s eyes. The move to Cornwall had been a good idea after all. She texted back with as much love and encouragement as she could squeeze into a couple of sentences, added three kissy smilies, and went to watch the news with her father. Her girl was growing up.
Chapter Sixteen
Thursday, 25th June
Nicola awoke on Thursday morning to the sound of her father in the shower. Seven forty-five. She’d wait a bit and call Kelly when she’d be standing at the bus stop. Nicola’s heart ached with the wish to make a happy day for her girl, like she’d been able to on childhood birthdays. Children’s parties and visits to the zoo, so much was different now, but that was life. Get on with it, Nic. Making tea and toast filled the time, and Nicola sat in her mother’s armchair to make the birthday call.
‘Happy birthday, Kelly, love! I sent a card; you should get it today. Wish I was there to give you a hug – sixteen, huh? My baby’s all grown.’
‘Oh Mum, it’s just another day, isn’t it? Nothing special.’
The girl’s voice was brittle, and Nicola winced. ‘Not true – you are special.’ No mention of the birthday pressies – Ed must have decided to wait with them until the evening. ‘Listen, I’ll call you this afternoon after school, okay? You have as good a day as you can. Love you heaps.’
‘The bus is here. Bye, Mum.’ The connection broke.
That had sounded as if Kelly was in tears. Nicola came to a decision. She’d go home on Sunday, no matter what. Today would be spent organising things for Mum and Dad. And why the hell had Ed let Kelly go off to school on her birthday in that state? She connected to his mobile ready to do battle.
‘She’s fine, Nicola. I said happy birthday. Yes, I know she’s up and down at the moment – she’s in the middle of exams and she
’s a teenager, isn’t she? It’ll do her good, having to be more independent. I had to fend for myself at that age.’
Nicola rolled her eyes as if she was a teenager too. When had he started being so uncaring? ‘Even at sixteen she’s still a child, Ed. Don’t be so hard on her.’
‘She needs to pull herself together. She depends on you too much, and that’s your fault.’
Brilliant. So she was a rubbish mother, and she was about to leave her parents in their emergency and be a rubbish daughter, too.
‘I’ll be home at the weekend sometime, even if it’s only for a day or two. See you then.’ She disconnected, and sat still, planning. She would talk to the ward sister today, and push for some info about when Mum was likely to be discharged and what services she could mobilise for both her parents. She was not going to let anyone down.
The bell rang, and Kelly crammed her biology book into her rucksack. Hallelujah, she could go home. She trailed out of the school hall without speaking to anyone – Beth and Amy had exams today and had gone already, and everyone else looked as grumpy as she felt.
She pulled out her mobile as soon as she was on the bus going home. Jess had texted happy birthday, and Kelly replied with a string of emoticons, then opened the chat group she’d made with Amy and Beth. Meet you at the café at P. beach 7pm? Shakes on me! Dad wouldn’t mind being taxi for once, would he, on her birthday?
Her mum called while she was still on the bus. ‘Good news, Kel – Grandma’s being discharged tomorrow, and we’ve got a care package set up to help her and Grandpa for the first couple of weeks, though of course I’ll be popping up and down to see them more often this summer. I’ll be driving home on Sunday, so I’ll pick you up at Salisbury after Rock Home. Dad’ll give you your pressies when he gets home, and–’