Elements of Ruin (Hijinks Harem Book 2)

by C. M. Stunich

  “We have money,” Warden said and I heard Shane snarl—like, literally snarl—from beside me. “The family has money, is what I mean to say.”

  “We have our spirit now, you dumb shit. Charlie and Joan ain't gonna give us shit to spend. 'Specially not on some CUM filled sex auction.”

  “To save the last member of our sept? Fuck, they'd be stupid not to!” Warden said, turning to stare Shane down. “We're not dickin' around here—a man's life is at stake.”

  “Our sept? Well, shoot, look at you! Prancing back in here like you own the damn place. Why don't you call Charlie and explain where you been all these years? And you ask for the money?” Shane said, crossing his arms over his chest and locking those blue eyes onto Warden's hazel ones.

  I had a feeling this fight … was not one hundred percent about poor Dusty.

  “Maybe I will?” Warden said, throwing his arms up dramatically and then pointing at Shane. “I'm going out to the van to get my cell. Try not to let our soul mate get sold off in the meantime.”

  “Our soul mate? Ain't that cute. You're a real peach there, Warden. A juicy goddamn peach.”

  “Eat lutefisk,” Warden snapped, instead of eat shit like a normal person. But then again, lutefisk … it's basically gelatinous fish goo. I'd rather eat poop to be quite frank.

  The energy elemental turned to go and ran into Reg, George, and Siobhan instead.

  “Somebody ask for a phone?” Reg said, slipping his iPhone out from inside his budgie smugglers. Whoa. Kind of like hiding stuff in my tits, I figured. He handed it over to Warden and crossed his arms over his chest.

  “We found Dusty,” I told Siobhan as she moved over to the railing and glanced down, her face constricting with so many emotions, I was having trouble getting a read on them.

  “This is bad,” she whispered, taking a small step back and wringing her hands out. “Only a chaos can bid.”

  “Then you'll bid,” I said, taking a huge leap of faith that Warden could even get the money. I mean, it wasn't exactly like he was reliable or anything. A backup plan was most definitely in order here. “You'll bid for us, win him back, and then we'll all walk out of here like nothing's amiss.”

  “If I win him,” Siobhan said, biting her lower lip and glancing over at me. “I have to fuck him right there in front of everybody.”

  “What the hell is wrong with you people?!” I growled out, shoving blonde waves over my shoulder. “Supernatural law is … I mean, shit, it doesn't make any goddamn sense.”

  “We can glamour you,” Siobhan said, a strange look on her face. I think it was half … jealousy? Did she want Dusty back? And hell, did I even want a man that my friend was in love with? But standing here, looking down at him … I could feel in my heart that he was supposed to be mine.

  Either that or … you know, the lust monster was rearing his ugly head. Dustin was hot as all get-out. My body wanted his

  “That's what we'll do,” Siobhan said, rubbing at her chin in thought. “We'll glamour you to look like a succubus. I'll vouch for you as an out-of-towner from England …”

  “Australian,” I whispered, but she was already ignoring me.

  “Then we bid and you fuck him onstage.”

  “What?!” I asked, because this didn't at all sound like a good plan to me. “You want to get a succubus glamour—like from where?!—and drink it, and bid in an auction, and then rape a dude onstage?”

  “He'll know it's you as soon as you touch him,” she whispered, and her voice was low and kind of sad. “Because of your connection, he'll know.”

  “The glamour won't hold once they touch each other,” George said softly, drawing our attention his way. He really did look fabulous with his tree trunk all wrapped up in green beads and sparkles.

  “Not a witch glamour,” Siobhan said, steeling her face into seriousness. “But a fae one would do just fine.”

  “And where are we going to get a fae glamour so last minute?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

  Siobhan flushed and looked me straight in the face.

  “I have one in the van,” she whispered softly. “I can go and get it.”

  “And why the hell would you have a fae glamour to turn someone into a chaos just hanging around?”

  “Dustin … got it for me as a present. He … was going to drink it and turn into an incubi for me. He knows it's my greatest fantasy to sleep with an incubi so …”

  “Why haven't you slept with one?” I asked, cocking a brow.

  Siobhan gave me a look.

  “We can't take it too far, incubi and succubi. Anything beyond light foreplay and our magic starts to zap each other. Basically we simultaneously drain each other and … die.”

  I tried to think if I'd seen any chaos going at it on my way in here …

  “It's pretty common actually, for a non-chaos to take the glamour. All glamours of this type are supposed to be registered with CUM, but … Dusty has a lot of fae connections.”

  I just stared at her and couldn't decide if I was a) weirded out by this newest development in supernatural law, b) disturbed at the idea that to save a stranger I had to fuck him, or c) jealous beyond all reasonable belief that Dusty cared enough about Siobhan to get her this present.

  “Okay, we don't have time to waste tripping over everyone's feelings like they're cow patties,” Warden reminded us gruffly, his worried gaze flickering down to our seventh on the stage.

  “He's right,” Billy muttered, looking like he'd rather stick pins in his eyes than agree with the energy elemental about anything. “You have to do this, Firebug. No one deserves what's coming his way if one of those insects wins him.”

  All of the guys shuddered a little and even Siobhan looked a bit sick. I guessed this wasn't an opinion she disagreed with.

  “But it's still not okay to force sex on him, even if he does know I'm not a succubus. Just because we're soulmates doesn't automatically assume consent, you know.” My teeth worried at my lip hard enough to draw blood, until Shane cupped my chin and tapped a thumb to my mouth.

  “Stop that,” he murmured quietly, “the blood will intensify your elemental smell.”

  “Sugar Tits,” Reg sighed, “it's not like you're taking advantage here. He'll know it's you under the glamour, therefore he'll know this is part of an escape plan. Trust me when I say he will very willingly fuck you onstage for ten times this amount of chaos if it means getting free of them.”

  “It still doesn't feel right,” I muttered, but given the time constraint of the auction which was already in play, there weren't many better options on the table.

  “Smokey,” Warden snapped, “Please. Do this for me—and for Siobhan—and I will forgive you for running away ten years ago.” My gaze flicked down to the Adonis shackled to the stage, and this time I meant it as a description, not the incubus leader. Some enthusiastic winged woman was waving her paddle around and looking beyond excited, so I knew the auction must be almost over.

  “Fine,” I nodded, “but if he doesn't seem into it, I am not forcing the issue and we can damn well fight our way out of here. Agreed?”

  “Agreed,” Warden confirmed, and a panting Siobhan pressed a little bottle into my hand as she came jogging back to us. She must have taken off to grab the potion almost as soon as she'd mentioned it, and I hadn't even noticed.

  “But you and Billy need to patch things up, too.” I narrowed my eyes at Warden and he grimaced.

  “We'll try.” His teeth were clenched hard but Billy gave a small nod.

  “Jesus fucking Christ,” I whispered, eyeing the potion bottle as Siobhan raised her paddle and entered the bidding. “I feel like Alice. Drink me.” Blocking my nose, because I'd learned my lesson about potions, I swallowed the contents in one gulp and screwed my eyes tight shut while I waited for it to take effect.

  After a moment, when nothing seemed to happen, I cracked my left eye open and peered at George, who was standing closest to me. “Did it work?” I asked, and he nodded
slowly, a stunned look pulling his eyebrows up high.

  “Babe, you look …” Billy squinted at me. “Like you, but … glow-y.”

  “And with huge ass wings,” Reg added, waving a hand to these apparent wings behind me. I turned to look over my shoulder and caught a glimpse of what looked like black leather bat wings. Nice.

  “Okay. So now what?” I huffed, folding my arms under my nearly naked breasts. Okay, mostly naked. Stupid booby tassels.

  “Now we wait until we win, hope Daddy-Money-Bags comes through with the coin, then you get on up there and, ah.” Siobhan's mouth twisted like she'd eaten something bad.

  “And fuck your boyfriend?” I finished for her, and she shrugged. “Got it.”

  My winged bestie said nothing in response, but waved her ridiculous paddle in the air once more to bid higher. The monetary figure that they were up to would have paid for new pipes in my Grams crumbling mansion about a hundred times over, and I sulked at how Charlie had taken me for a ride with that absurd quote that had started the whole mess.

  “Going once …” called the auctioneer, and the room went silent, all eyes on Siobhan as she confidently stared down from the balcony where we stood. “Going twice …”

  There was a rustle of commotion from the crowd below, before a confused looking incubus raised his paddle and called out a figure.

  “Ah, a new bidder! It seems this stallion is getting lots of interest tonight,” the auctioneer chuckled then made an honest-to-Odin horse noise.

  Elbowing a random spectator aside, I peered over the balcony to get a better look at this new bidder. Sure enough, sitting beside the incubus in his Kylie Minogue hot pants … Bio Dad.

  “That motherfucker,” I hissed and Reg snorted.

  “Uh, literally?” he chuckled, then shut up fast when I shot a death glare his way.

  “He's trying to win Dustin so that he can drain us through him isn't he?” I glanced at my succubus friend and she looked close to tears as she raised her paddle again.

  “Yeah, pretty much,” she confirmed.

  “But he's working with the chaos. Why wouldn't they have just handed him over already?” I whacked Siobhan on the elbow to bid again when Daniel's indentured incubus did.

  “Yes and no. CUM is a sticky thing, you know? They make and break their alliances as fast as money can change hands. In this circumstance, yeah they'll hand Dusty over to Daniel if he can pay top dollar. If someone else is willing to pay more, well then it's fair game.” She raised her paddle and bid a significant amount higher than Daniel's imp, causing them to flutter and whisper amongst themselves.

  “What a loyal bunch of sex-addicts,” I muttered under my breath but Siobhan just gave me an unapologetic look.

  “Like I said, CUM is sticky. You have to be really careful handling it.”

  Below us, Bio Dad seemed to be having a rather heated debate with his pet incubus which wasn't going well for him. The winged man was shaking a finger in Daniel's sleazy face and when Daniel responded, the incubus stood abruptly from his seat and stalked out of the room, chucking his paddle on the floor as he went.

  “And it looks like we have a winner!” the auctioneer announced, beaming up at Siobhan who waved like the damn Queen of England in acknowledgement.

  “Warden had better have come up with that money, or we will be in for a world of hurt,” she muttered to me and we rejoined my many husbands where they had been pushed against the back wall when the balcony had filled with auction spectators.

  “Any luck?” I asked my ex-lover. Current lover? So confused. I had just let him put his dick down my throat, and I guess I had kind of, definitely, enjoyed the shit out of it. And there was the whole making love incident back at my house … ugh, too confusing.

  “Yes and no,” he grimaced, “we got the money, yes. But it comes with strings.”

  “Strings?” I demanded. “What strings?”

  “Charlie wants a wedding,” Billy replied for Warden, leaning against the wall beside him. Very close beside him. Maybe it wouldn't take long for them to mend their bridges after all?

  “A wedding? Isn't he already married to Joan and Reg's other Dads?” I was so confused. How the fuck did this have anything to do with us and our shit-uation, right now?

  “Not him, Sugar,” Shane sighed, running a hand over his short black hair in frustration. “Us. All of us.”

  “By the end of the month, too.” Reg reached inside his budgie smugglers and adjusted his junk. “Is anyone else's man-panties itching the heck out of their pipe wrench?”

  “Wait. What?!” I gaped at them all, and Siobhan cleared her throat.

  “I'm going to go and finalize the contract of sale. Morgs, you're going to be needed onstage in about five minutes or so. Maybe one of the boys might be kind enough to warm you up a bit in the meantime? They don't exactly offer any lube up there seeing as succubus are always wet.” She slapped me helpfully on the boob, setting my chest jiggling before she walked away to deal with the paperwork. Sounded awfully official for what was tantamount to sex slavery but whatever we needed to do to save Dustin, that's what we would do.

  “Always?” I pondered aloud as her wings bobbed off into the crowd. “Surely that must get uncomfortable. Succubus must have shares in panty-liners or something.”

  “I think a succubus actually invented them,” George offered. It made sense.

  “So, honey doll,” Shane drawled, smoothing a hand down my naked back to rest on my ass. “You ready for this? Or did you need, as your friend suggested, a little warming up?”

  My pussy clenched, but not in a good way. I was nervous as fuck and knew that despite Billy having blown his load in me earlier, I was as dry as fucking Uluru in my downstairs department.

  “Warming up. Yeah. Probably necessary.” I glanced around us at the hordes of people who had arrived to watch the show, both winged and non-winged. “Do you think there's somewhere private we can go?”

  “Sugar Tits,” Reg said gently, “I don't want to state the obvious here, but you're about to fuck on a stage in front of everyone. Maybe a little exhibitionism here might be a good ice breaker?”

  “Right. Of course. Makes sense …” Wow, this was a whole lot more nerve racking without the succubi magic that had helped us into an orgy in the middle of a nightclub recently.

  “Don't worry, Firebug,” Billy reassured me as he flicked his cigarette alight with a literal flick of his fingers. “It's just a warm up. Just to get your bathmat damp.”

  “I don't have a bathmat,” I grumbled. “I have a landing strip.” Thank god I'd been waxed recently. Heh. The salons should use this on their ads. Bikini waxing, so you're always prepared for sex onstage in front of hundreds of sex-demons.

  “You know what I meant,” he smirked, “and I am well acquainted with your lack of bathmat.”

  “This is stupid. We need to hurry up before you end up onstage getting impaled by Dusty's giant dry cock.” Warden scowled, but I was pretty sure it was at the thought of Billy and my bathmat, rather than anything else. He held out a hand to me, and I took it.

  I wasn't entirely sure what to expect when I placed my hand in his, but it wasn't what I got. Tugging me toward him, Warden spun me so my back was pressed into the wall and in a blink of an eye, he was on his knees in front of me. His long fingers slipped under the pathetic dental floss G-string and tugged it aside before his lips closed over my clit piercing.

  “S'truth,” I exclaimed, sinking into his touch and sending up a quick mental thanks to Britt—again—for making me get my bits pierced. I think I owed her a fruit basket or something by now.

  Warden’s tongue flicked over my hardened nub a few times, then he slipped his fingers inside my cunt and teased at my G-spot, making me groan.

  “That ought to do it,” he grinned, sitting back on his haunches.

  “Right on time too,” George commented, nodding to the end of the balcony where Siobhan was waiting, looking impatient. “You’re up, Blossom.”

>   The first thought that crossed my mind as I started up the steps to the stage, was that this had been an auction to be Dustin’s Dom. Would I be expected to, er, Dom him? Was that even the correct vernacular? Oh fucking Odin, we were so screwed.

  The lights dimmed and spotlights swirled, like we were in an episode of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire or some shit. As soon as my bare feet slapped against the wood of the stage, I caught Dustin's green-eyed gaze.

  He was panting, his hands curled around the metal collar like he could physically tear it from his neck. Considering he was a metal elemental, shouldn't he be able to? I walked toward him, feeling my breathing pick up speed, my heart slamming wildly against my rib cage.

  “Hi,” I said, which was the lamest possible thing I could've said to the soul mate I'd never met and was now trying to save from a lurid sex auction.

  It was just me and him standing there, a nice bright, white spotlight above our heads, shadows all around. I could feel the shift and murmur of the crowd, the scent of sex so pungent I thought I might choke. Clearly, some of that murmuring down there was from hands, and tongue, cock and cunt. Basically, people were screwing all around us.

  “If you think you can break me, you're dead wrong,” he said, his voice carrying just the slightest hint of an Irish accent. Oh. How … lovely. I smiled stupidly and Dustin took a step back. I realized how scary that probably looked with my glamour and forced my grin into a flat, easy neutral line. “Do what you want to me now, but I promise as soon as I get out of here, I'm going to bloody kill you.”

  Taking a deep breath, I stepped forward and Dustin took another step back, straining at the end of his chains to stay away from me.

  “And don't think I'mma take this lyin' down,” he told me, whistling and running his tongue over his lower lip. This close up, he was about ten times as attractive as he'd been from upstairs. His body was muscular, but not disturbingly so, just that lean stretch of muscles a man gets from toning his body naturally. He didn't look like a bodybuilder, just someone who had a job that required easy strength.

  I swallowed hard, took a small step back … and then threw myself at him, managing to get a single hand on his bicep before he danced in a circle and left me with my legs wrapped in chains.