by JoAnn Aitken
"Remember when I saw you and Teri at the beach and she said I’d do well to come home and catch up on all the news? I did and was mightily surprised. Kim told me not to worry about anything; she wanted nothing more from me. However, we had kind of become buddies so I saw a lot of her, and then Alex was born.
“I was totally crazy about the kid,” he confessed.
“I remember,” laughed Gordie. “At Barbara’s Christmas Open House you wouldn’t let anyone touch him ’cause of the germs.”
"Yeah, well, you know how it is. Anyway, Kimmie wanted another baby really soon. She wanted them to be close in age so they could be tight friends. I agreed. We were totally on the same page.
"She asked nothing from me and allowed me complete access. The only thing she did say was to please not let them get close to me and then walk away from them. That wasn’t going to happen, and I wasn’t leaving her either.
"She became the best friend I’ve ever had. She encouraged me in every way and paid for me to go to school. She knows how much I hate to ask Gran for anything. She staked me on my house and helped me get my business off the ground. She loves our children and is bringing them up great, although they’re a handful.
"Over the years, I’ve begged her to marry me, but she won’t. She says the age difference is humiliating, and she says she won’t tie me to an old woman.
“Gabriel was my confidant. He hoped more than anything that she would eventually say yes. Now he’s gone, and I don’t know what to do. Can you and Theresa help me?”
“Well,” Gordie pondered. "Can’t you say that this is just stupid since you intend to be with her to the end anyway? You could say that you won’t tell anyone, and it’ll be a romantic secret between the two of you, nobody else knowing. Women love stuff like that.
“And you should get her now when she’s in a weakened condition and say that it will make Gabriel really, really happy.”
“Genius,” said Billy.
“Listen,” said Gordie, “I’m an ex-con, and apparently we’re all masters of manipulation.” That struck them both as funny, and they laughed together for the first time ever.
“If this works out,” said Billy, “I’m going to do something really special for you.”
“You already have, Billy. You already have.”
“You are a magnificent man, Gascoyne,” Katherine said, tip-toeing her fingers across his chest.
“Why, thank you, my baby kitten. Does that mean you are willing to share yourself with me again?”
Eddie typically called her “Kat,” using diminutives such as “my baby kitten” when he was relaxed and amorous. At the height of passion, he would often lapse into his mother tongue which always thrilled her. The electricity between them had lasted for thirty years since they had first laid eyes on each other on a snowy day in Winnipeg.
The details of that meeting were fuzzy. Nobody knew what had really happened. The story for public consumption was that Katherine, on her way on the bus to her uncle’s ranch in Edmonton, had temporarily taken a job in a bar in Winnipeg. Eddie was a traveling salesman of bar-related items.
That was sort of true. Actually, she was working as a topless waitress in Winnipeg’s biggest strip club. When Eddie first saw her, she was wearing stiletto heels, tiny sequined hot pants, and not another stitch. She had long red hair, gathered up, and he thought she was the most astonishingly beautiful girl he had ever seen.
“Forget about her,” his friend Jim, the bar manager, said. “The chick’s like a robot. She just comes to work and leaves immediately after. Always looks like she’s got something on her mind.”
Eddie was a determined person whose mission was now crystal clear. On her break, he made her talk to him. She was the smartest and strongest girl he had ever met.
He was also a person who usually got what he wanted, and when he left Winnipeg a few days later, he took her with him.
As they drove out of town, Katherine asked him how Jim had taken the news. “Just like I knew he would,” Eddie laughed. “He called me a fucking bastard and a son of a bitch.”
“I hope he didn’t hurt your feelings,” she joked.
“Are you kidding? He made me feel like a king!”
Eddie was ambitious. He had plans which he decided to pursue now that he had won the heart of the crown jewel of all women. He gave up his sales job, which had served him well, and got involved in the bar/restaurant business in Vancouver. There was a ton of money to be made.
And he did. He was a millionaire by the time he was thirty. On this particular night when he lay in bed with Katherine, he was worth a fortune. He had worked hard, obsessively, and it had cost him a great deal over the years. His marriage, although unorthodox, worked. And that was, in the final analysis, what mattered most to him. He adored his Kat.
Their two children were very bright and successful in their chosen fields but low-key and modest in spite of their father’s wealth. The time had come for the change Eddie had been contemplating for some time. The death of Gabriel seemed to cause things to gel for him.
He wondered if it was the early onset of Alzheimer’s that had made the old Beatles’ song All You Need is Love play constantly in his head for the last few days. He was prepared to admit that it might be true – if you’ve got a security net of a few million dollars.
Eddie and Katherine had a good deal more than a few million dollars, and he wanted to talk specifics with her. He missed her and wanted to liquidate his Vancouver assets and come back to Ontario to be with her until the end of his life.
The loss of Gabriel emphasized the capriciousness of fate. In the wink of an eye, either one of them could be gone. The very idea of losing her made him feel frightened and weak. He wanted to move forward as quickly as he could.
“What a worried frown! Whatever are you thinking about, darling,” Katherine asked.
“Of course I want to share with you. But first, I want to tell you how proud you made me today at the church. Everything you said was perfect. Especially the part about my being wise,” and she nibbled on his shoulder.
“I was just grateful that the church’s roof didn’t collapse when we walked in,” Eddie said.
“We are a bad lot, aren’t we?” his wife laughed.
“Dennis, baby, maybe you would feel better if you could just stop crying and talk to me,” Sharon said with concern. “Please try and tell me what you and Eddie and Gordie and Billy were talking about this evening.”
She sat down on the bed and he put his head in her lap. He was hot and gulping like a heartbroken child. She petted him gently and coaxed him to tell her everything.
"Eddie’s coming to Ontario as soon as possible. He doesn’t want to be away from Kathy any more. But he has to sell off out there, which means he will have major cash to work with. Of course, there will be huge taxes and all that stuff I don’t understand.
"He suggested setting up a foundation in Gabriel’s memory, using a bunch of his money to get started. We all liked that but didn’t know what. Billy kind of thought that it should be an ongoing thing instead of a scholarship fund which only happens once or twice a year. And visible instead of just giving money to Mac Medical Center or something.
"Maybe like The Children’s Wish, kind of, but for everyone, even animals. People make requests which a board would consider and accept or reject. Anyway, it would take a lot of work to set it up, and we’d have to get licenses and so on. We’d have to develop policies and procedures and promote it. We’d have to appoint people we trust to various roles.
"It’s all really complicated, Sharona, and too hard for me. Eddie said it would take a long time to pull it together. We would have to move ahead patiently and carefully, trying it keep it in the family if possible.
“That’s all I can tell you; it makes my brain hurt. Eddie did say that something extremely important would be a promotional video about Gabriel. I said I could do that. I have lots of footage I could use.”
God bless Eddie, Sharon thou
ght. He knew exactly the right thing to suggest to Din, something really meaningful that her gentle, artistic husband could immerse himself in.
“I think it’s a wonderful beginning,” she said soothingly. “Gabriel must be so proud. Eddie’s right in that every step has to be taken with the utmost deliberation. But you don’t have to think about any of that, sweetheart. Just think about the video.”
“Now, don’t you feel a little bit better?” she asked kindly. “Why don’t I bring us some hot chocolate, and then we can cuddle?”
Gordie climbed the stairs to the bedroom. He moved very slowly. This day had been so long that he couldn’t remember any day before it. Tomorrow he and Theresa would fly home to Antigonish, to their small children. He couldn’t remember what they looked like.
In the bedroom, by the pale light of a small lamp, he could see his wife and older children asleep on the big bed. They were fully dressed, probably having fallen asleep while talking, trying to comfort each other.
He looked at them: Theresa, his heart, his life; his son and daughter, poor kids, shell-shocked by the loss of their tiny leader. How were they all to carry on?
He was overcome by exhaustion and gently lay down on his side next to Molly. He put his arm across her protectively, and she stirred and turned toward him. She sleepily opened her eyes and looked at him. “Daddy,” she murmured and smiled sweetly before dropping off again.
At that moment, Gordie chose to believe that ultimately everything would be okay, and he fell into a dreamless sleep.
Back in Antigonish, Gordie and Theresa were welcomed with open arms. Their friends and relatives shared their grief at the loss of their dear little boy and did everything they could to help the couple cope.
It seemed a long wait for the coroner’s report following Gabriel’s autopsy. Gordie was very quiet and unlike himself. Theresa knew that he was afraid that Gabriel’s premature birth might have been a contributing factor. She was worried too.
The report eventually arrived. Gabriel had been in perfect health. He was a small child, but his organs were proportionately sized. There was no apparent reason for him to die. He had no history of sleep apnea or any other problem. He had just gone away in the night.
Mary Francis felt that it wasn’t like Gabriel to go and leave his Thanksgiving project unfinished. She could suppose nothing other than he had to answer a call, but she was sure he was with them all.
Gordie was relieved, but his heart ached. He threw himself into his work which forced him to be outgoing and cheerful. At home, he and Theresa clung to each other and their two little children.
Finn seemed to have aged ten years. It was time for him to retire, but he stayed on at the steel company on a contract basis. He too sought refuge in work and in Molly’s arms. Molly kept busy with her various good works, but as always Finn was her life.
Billy and Kim and the four remaining children suffered the most, living every day without Gabriel. With the resilience of children, the kids returned to their school and routines. But it wasn’t the same, and it never would be.
Something good did happen. Kim agreed to marry Billy, and she said it didn’t have to be a secret. She agreed that they loved each other and should make the most of every day. All the children were delighted.
At the beginning of December, Billy, Kim, and the children traveled on a weekend to Antigonish to stay with the Gallaghers. Gordie had arranged for a Justice of the Peace to perform the ceremony at their house, and Theresa planned a wonderful dinner to follow. After dinner, in time for the cutting of the cake, Seamus and his brood of O’Connors came over to celebrate.
They sang and danced to Irish songs and toasted with Irish whiskey until late.
“I feel truly married,” said Kim, and she kissed Billy.
“Brother,” said Billy, putting his arm around Gordie, “I have you and Gabriel to thank for this day. You encouraged me, and Gabriel was rooting for me. I promised you a gift if this happened, and I will keep my word.”
After everyone had gone home, Billy said to his bride, “Come on, Kimmie. Let’s go upstairs and consummate our marriage.”
Kim laughed and looked at Alex and Liam who were sound asleep on the couch and said, “I think we’ve already done that.”
Upstairs in the guest bedroom which Theresa and Molly had turned into a bridal suite, Billy pulled Kim over to the window. It was a very blustery night, and Billy said, “This is like the night we made Alex.”
“We could have made him any one of a dozen or more times over those two days,” Kim reminded him.
“I had never been so turned on in my life,” Billy admitted.
“You were a stallion,” his wife caressed his cheek.
“I have something for you,” he said, reaching into his pants pocket. He pulled out a ring and slid it onto her finger over the wedding band he had given her earlier that day. It was a sapphire with a diamond on each side.
“This is you,” he said, indicating the sapphire. “And these are our sons.”
Billy wasn’t predisposed to emotional displays or sentimentality. In the past, he had given her gifts like a toaster oven or a new sink for the powder room. He rarely expressed his feelings in such plain language. Kim burst into tears.
“Kimberly,” he said. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I love you with all my heart.”
Now was the time to consummate their marriage.
The family gathered at Barbara’s on Christmas Eve. Everyone was filled with dread, but they did have Billy and Kim’s marriage to celebrate and the new house that Dennis and Sharon were having built.
This year, there was no open house. Barbara just wasn’t up to it. But she had a nice tree and a festive meal catered for thirty. She rose to announce dessert. “It might be a strange thing to announce dessert,” she said. “But this is special for our beloved boy. I know that he is here, and he will love it.”
The lights were lowered, and dessert carts were rolled out into the Great Room from two directions, decorated with dozens and dozens of fairy lights. The effect was stunning. The children squealed with delight, and the adults cheered and applauded. They all knew that Gabriel was thrilled.
On Christmas Day, Gordie, Theresa, Joy, and Sean went to dinner and to stay overnight at Finn and Molly’s. That night, when the four adults were alone, Theresa spoke.
"This might not be the best time, or maybe it is the perfect time. But we have something for you.
"We love you more than we can describe, and we know that Gabriel did too. We want you to have one third of his ashes to do with as your hearts dictate.
“Please try to rejoice in this last gift he has left for us. I hope you will eventually decide on something that will bring you and him peace and joy.”
Theresa smiled and placed the small wooden box on the table. She rose and kissed her in-laws and sat back down beside Gordie who pulled her into his arms. “Well put, my baby,” he said to her. “I couldn’t do it,” he admitted to his parents.
A similar scene was enacted the next morning at Billy and Kim’s before Gordie and Theresa flew back to Antigonish. Billy took it very hard and cried like a child.
“He’ll be fine,” Kim promised. "He keeps things bottled up so, but the wedding was a great diversion for us. We both can never thank you enough for your role in that and for including us this way.
“We were planning on asking you if we could all come to visit on the March Break before Billy gets busy.” Of course they could. They would meet again when the long winter ended.
Gordie didn’t think anything more about Billy’s promise of a gift until after the Scott-Sheehans’ March Break visit when a big truck and backhoe arrived in front of his house. They were there to plant a young maple tree on his front lawn. He was handed an envelope, and the enclosed note said:
Dear Gordie. Here it is at last. My thank you for your friendship through the toughest time imaginable and the happiest day of my life. See you soon. Billy.
Billy and his family didn’t know what to do about Gabriel’s ashes.
One evening, over dinner, out of nowhere, Alex said, “Niagara Falls.”
And Liam said, “On Canada Day.”
This was commonplace. One would have a thought immediately followed up by the other. They typically finished each other’s sentences.
“At night,” said Alex.
“When the lights are on,” finished Liam.
M-G, who wasn’t much of a talker, said, “Cool.” Molly agreed.
All Billy could think about was Niagara Falls on Canada Day, and his enthusiasm level wasn’t that high, although he could see that it was a perfect idea. “How about we go there in the middle of the night?” he suggested. “Then we will have more privacy and be able to get right to the edge of the Falls?”
That idea was applauded as even cooler, thank God. It was a plan.
Everything went smoothly. It was a beautiful night with more people around than you’d think, but they got to the edge and scattered the ashes over the thundering Falls.
“We love you, Gabriel,” called Alex.
“Don’t forget us,” said Liam.
M-G looked up at Billy. “My brother,” he said, and Billy put one arm around him and the other around Molly.
Kim, who had been terrified that they would all be arrested for littering or some such, said, “Let’s go to that all-night place we saw on the way in where they have maple leaf ice cream cakes.” She was declared the smartest mom ever.
Theresa and Gordie had also had many long conversations about Gabriel’s ashes. Finally, they decided to go to Murray Beach in New Brunswick. Theresa commented that the name Murray made it all the more appropriate.
It was a wonderful provincial park where their family had camped a number of times, enjoying the long white beach on the Northumberland Strait. The water was warm and shallow so it was a safe place for the children. The kids loved it, and the family would travel into Shediac at least once each visit to enjoy the lobster dinner laid out every night.