Family Portraits

by JoAnn Aitken

  Gabriel would come home brown as a berry and full of tales of the sand critters and the new friends he had made and anything else that caught his fancy that trip.

  It was a great playground for their angel.

  In August, Molly and M-G flew down, and the family headed to Murray Beach.

  They got up before sunrise and walked down to the beach. The tide was some distance out. Gordie, using Gabriel’s bright yellow beach shovel, dug a place for his son’s ashes. The family stood in a circle until the water had risen to their ankles and the sun was pink streaks. The little mound of sand and Gabriel were gone.

  “Let’s go and have a real Canadian breakfast, kids,” said Theresa in the most cheerful voice she could muster. They had pancakes with fresh picked blueberries and maple syrup and Canadian bacon cooked on their Coleman stove and the campfire. It was delicious, and Gabriel would have loved it after his swim.

  Gordie was at the stove, pouring himself a cup of coffee, when Molly came up and pressed her face against him. She was crying.

  “Come on, Muffy, come walk with Daddy,” he said, putting his arm around her.

  They walked back to the beach and sat beside a sand dune. Gordie thought that she was upset about Gabriel, but it was something else. “I want to come and live here, Daddy,” she said, “but I don’t want to hurt Billy and Kim’s feelings. I’ve been thinking about it since last summer when you and I walked around the university campus. I want to finish high school here and study music at St. Francis Xavier.”

  “Billy and Kim know that birds have to fly,” said Gordie. “Alex will be going to university pretty soon, won’t he? And he’s thinking about living in Hamilton at Kathy and Eddie’s?”

  “Maybe. I don’t see how he can part from Liam.”

  “These are the realities of life, baby. One day you will leave me and Mommy too. Do you want one or both of us to be with you when you talk to Kim and Billy?”

  “No, thank you, Daddy. I have to do it myself. But please tell me what we are going to do about my piano?”

  Gordie hugged her. “You just leave that to me. Billy and I will figure it out.” They walked hand in hand back to the camp site.

  Upon arrival, Gordie was greeted by his little son Sean. Sean was feeling sad and confused. He could barely remember his big brother Gabriel who had gone away without saying goodbye. He didn’t really understand what they had done this morning, but he knew that his parents weren’t quite the same as usual.

  Sean loved Gordie more than anyone in the world, and he held out a somewhat grubby little hand. “Look, Daddy, I saved you the biggest blueberry.”

  Gordie picked him up and said, “That’s very thoughtful of you, son. Why don’t you pop it in my mouth?” Sean did, and Gordie kissed him.

  Gordie looked at Theresa and saw the love in her eyes. He knew beyond any doubt that he was the luckiest man alive.

  After the children were settled for the night, by the campfire, Theresa and Gordie talked about Molly’s request. Of course they were overjoyed, but they felt bad for Billy and Kim who had done so much for their kids.

  Although Molly had told Gordie that she would talk to them on her own, Gordie wondered if he should give Billy a heads-up. Maybe that would make it easier. Molly and M-G were flying home in two days. After long discussion, Molly’s parents decided to respect their daughter’s wishes and let her proceed as she wished.

  The evening after the kids’ departure, Billy phoned. He said that Molly had broken the news in the car on the way from the airport.

  “God, I hope you’re not bitter towards us because of this, Billy,” said Gordie. “I know you’ll miss her bad. And so soon after the loss of our baby.”

  “It is hard. Molly is our best girl,” replied Billy, "but you are her parents. We are grateful that you shared her with us for eight years. At any time after you got settled in Antingonish, you could have taken all three of them back. But you didn’t.

  "You let them get used to you and introduced them to Antigonish and let them make their own decisions. I’m sorry you didn’t have more time with Gabriel. Truly sorry.

  "Molly said that you told her Kim and I would understand that birds got to fly, and we do. We’ve got two fledglings who will be on their way before too long.

  “I guess we’re grown-ups now, Gordie, and we have to face these things.”

  “Do you think we’ll ever be as mature as Din,” Gordie asked.

  “Unlikely,” Billy laughed. “We don’t have Sharon on our asses.”

  Billy sat down to read his e-mails, and the first one almost jumped off the screen. It was from Gamma Molly, and though Billy didn’t know how it was possible, it seemed to be vibrating with excitement. It read:

  To our wonderful children

  I’m sending this note because if I get on the phone, you know how I am. LOL

  Eddie and Kathy are sending us to Ireland as a birthday gift to me. We will leave on the Labor Day Weekend and come back on Halloween. There is so much to do to get ready!!!

  Fortunately, we have our passports from when Daddy wanted to go and see the Civil War battlefields three years ago. Whew!

  We are traveling to and from Shannon – and wonderful Eddie booked us first class! I told Daddy we will be like a king and queen. We’re going to stay with my family and at some point travel to Dublin to see Uncle Thomas and his new wife. I am attaching all the addresses and flight info.

  We are taking our boy’s ashes with us to scatter. I would like them to be scattered at Cobh where Daddy and I met and fell in love. Daddy agreed, but then he started to have “heritage” thoughts about the site of the beginning of the Rebellion in Dublin or William Butler Yeats’ grave. Those are good choices, and you know that anything Daddy chooses is my favorite too.

  Daddy doesn’t think he wants to worry about his laptop, so we will be sure to take lots of photos to share when we get home – just in time for the arrival of our new grandchild!!!!!

  I am so excited about everything that Daddy has to keep giving me big bear hugs so I don’t float away! Be good children, and remember that we love you with all our hearts.

  Mommy and Daddy

  Billy was laughing so hard that he was holding his sides. “Come read this, Kimmie,” he called. “It’s just perfect.”

  “I’m so happy for them, Billy,” Kim said. “I hope this will close one door and reopen some others for them.”

  “I wonder how many bear hugs Finn has had to give her so far today.” Billy mused. “Too bad there aren’t more than three choices for Gabriel’s ashes. We could have had a pool.”

  “Gabriel would think that was really funny. What do you think they’ll choose?” Kim asked.

  “My money’s on Cobh, although the Dublin Post Office is a big ‘heritage’ favorite.”

  “I think you’re right.” She rubbed his shoulders. “You’re right so often, I can hardly stand it.”

  September 2011

  Molly was happy. Her decision to move to Antigonish had been almost a year in the making. It had started when she and Gordie had gone for a walk on the grounds of St. Francis Xavier University in the summer of 2010. She was stimulated by the academic atmosphere, and she loved being with her father.

  The seed was sown, and she sent away for a catalogue and other information about St Francis’ music program. Molly was a talented pianist, and music was her dream.

  And now she had arrived. She wanted to come early and finish high school there. From her visits to Antigonish, she knew a lot of kids at her high school, including many of her cousins. It was her intention to work as hard as she could and aim for a scholarship.

  She missed everyone back home, Billy and Kim and her brothers especially, but she was overjoyed to be with her parents and little sister and brother.

  Joy was five years old and a one-woman Molly fan club. She thought her big sister was amazing, and she wanted to be just like her in every way. She often coaxed Molly to fix her hair just like her own.

&n
bsp; That was quite a challenge considering that Molly had her grandmother’s wavy strawberry blond hair and Joy had inherited Finn and Gordie’s straight black hair. Molly did her best, and when Joy proudly presented herself to Gordie, asking if she looked exactly like Molly, he said, “Well, Joyous, if I close my eyes, you are identical.”

  The sound of music filled the house. Barbara had hired professional movers to bring Molly’s piano from Ontario. Joy would sit riveted, watching and listening for long stretches. She wanted to learn to play too.

  Molly showed her some simple scales, and Joy was inspired. She practiced them until one of her parents would distract her with something else. Molly took her a little further with songs like Frere Jacques – that one was for Uncle Eddie. Joy could play it for him on Gran’s piano at Christmas.

  Molly loved her baby sister and was fascinated how she was progressing, being only five. “Mommy,” Molly said, “I’m thinking maybe I would like to be a teacher.”

  “Piano teachers don’t make very much money,” Theresa said. “Maybe you could think about taking a Bachelor’s in Education with a minor in music.”

  “I’m going to think about that.” Molly replied. “I know I’m not talented enough to play professionally, and I think that life is grueling. Teaching music in the school system might be just perfect.”

  Gordie and Molly had a special relationship. Theresa often said that their daughter had imprinted on her father in the first few minutes of her life, and no man had ever loved his child more.

  That night when Gordie was relaxing in the living room, she snuggled up next to him as she often did and told him about her conversation with Theresa. “I think it’s an idea worth considering seriously, Muff,” he said. “I’ve always said that your mother is much more than a beautiful face. And so are you.”

  November 2011

  “Please come to our party on Saturday to see our new home and meet our new daughter. We are fully confident that you will be blown away. Not so much by the house, but by our little darling.”

  So began the invitation from Dennis and Sharon. All the family was planning on attending. Nobody knew the baby’s name. On Saturday, she would be four days old.

  Dennis greeted the guests and made them comfortable. They strolled around the stunning house that Dennis had helped design. When Alex and Liam had had enough suspense, they started a chant: “Baby, Baby, Baby!”

  Dennis, who was so excited that his cheeks looked like Santa Claus’, laughed and called to Sharon to bring on the star of the show. The child was bundled in pink and white blankets, and no one could see her face.

  “Daddy and Mommy, come up here,” Dennis said. “We want you to be the first ones to hold her.” And he placed her in Finn’s arms.

  “Her name is Fawn Gabrielle.”

  Finn pushed back the blankets and looked into Fawn’s wee face. She appeared to be considering him right back. He tenderly cupped her wispy little blonde head with his hand and whispered, “Our baby peach.”

  Molly burst into tears, precipitating a flurry of tissues around the room. “Told ya,” said Alex to his brother.

  January 2012

  The year since Gabriel had died had been very hard for Barbara. The loss of her little friend had changed her life once again. The departure of Molly to live with her parents was another blow. She had enjoyed the couple of days a week Molly had come to visit and play her grand piano. Now Barbara was alone in the big house with nothing in particular to do or think about.

  She didn’t want to revert to her old habits, but the crystal decanters on the buffet called to her. She resisted nobly, but there had been slip-ups. She decided to seek help, and she asked Eddie to come to visit her.

  Eddie knew from personal experience that she had to expand her horizons, and they talked about options. Eddie had wanted her to get involved in building the Gabriel’s Miracles Foundation, but getting that venture off the ground was proving to be complicated and time-consuming. Exactly what was going to happen was uncertain.

  The two talked about Barbara’s selling Maple Lane, since it wasn’t an appropriate home for anyone in the family, and Barbara’s moving into a seniors’ residence. She couldn’t bring herself to seriously consider that idea. Nor could she think about moving in with any of her children or grandchildren.

  “Do you know of any other ladies who are alone?” Eddie asked. “Maybe you could take in a couple of companions, like on that television show Golden Girls.”

  “Maybe that’s a good idea,” Barbara said. “I believe I do know a couple of women who might be interested.”

  She and Eddie decided to do some brainstorming. Eddie typically carried a handheld recorder with him, and got it out. “Okay,” he said, “I’ll state a topic, and we’ll toss ideas back and forth. Just ideas, not details.”

  And so they did: qualities of the candidates, modifications to the house, legal responsibilities, staffing needs, monthly fees, and so on. The ideas flew fast and furious. When they stopped, Barbara was breathless and exhilarated.

  “Great start,” Eddie exclaimed.

  “So you should proceed like this: use these ideas to design a plan, talk it over with your lawyer, and then work on the details. There’s no rush. You want this to be done right, and set it up so that you can terminate the arrangement, giving notice, of course, if you aren’t happy.”

  Barbara had been contemplating, and she looked up and nodded. For the first time, Eddie caught a glimpse of the girl she had been. He had never noticed that she had beautiful hazel eyes like Theresa’s. They were flashing with light and life.

  “I will be talking to you regularly about this, if you don’t mind,” she said.

  “It will be my pleasure,” he replied as he got up and put on his coat.

  “Now, you know, Barb,” he said, putting his arm around her when they reached the door. “If it goes this way, you will have to be gracious and nice all the time. If you feel grouchy or bossy, you will have to retire to your quarters until you’re in better spirits.”

  Barbara smiled at him and said, “I know,” and her hazel eyes twinkled.

  Easter 2012

  For the long weekend, Theresa and Gordie and their children came to stay at Finn and Molly’s. The family was coming, and Molly happily prepared dinner for twenty-five.

  In the afternoon, Finn, Eddie, Billy, Gordie, Dennis, and their brother Pat met in Finn’s office to talk about the Gabriel’s Miracles Foundation. They were disappointed in their lack of progress but realized it was understandable. The suddenness of Gabriel’s death and everyone’s overwhelming grief afterwards had held the project back.

  However, some steps had been taken. Patrick, who was a CPA, had seen to the paperwork necessary to register their idea as a charitable foundation.

  Eddie had been working to liquidate his assets in Vancouver with as little fiscal pain as possible. He had formed a partnership with Larry his lawyer and best friend. He had downsized and sold off properties. He had transferred a great deal of the money to the Foundation. But they had to spend some of it on charitable causes.

  His original plan was to hold an official meeting of the Foundation principals to appoint a Board of Directors who would vote Finn as Chairman. That just hadn’t been possible, but Finn was feeling better. His trip to Ireland with Molly had invigorated him, and he was almost his old self.

  He did declare that he didn’t feel quite up to it right now, but soon.

  Eddie had been thinking about what they could do immediately and suggested that they offer an annual full scholarship to the medical school at the University. The group could develop a list of criteria for potential recipients and contact the Development Office of the University.

  He said that they could enter into discussions with the University about their proposal and work from there. Who would be the contact person?

  Eddie was extremely busy and back and forth from Vancouver. Gordie said, “I’m not the one. I’m the guy who fixes their cars. Plus I live
in Nova Scotia.”

  Billy said, “God, no. I can’t do it. I’m the guy who mows their lawns.” All eyes turned to Dennis.

  Dennis had become much more mature, a lot of the time. He was a star at work, he was a father, and he was married to Sharon who was very strict. He admitted that he could do it. But he wanted to be introduced by a letter from Gordie who was Gabriel’s father.

  Everyone agreed. Such letter would be prepared.

  The initial amount for discussion would be determined from the University’s calendar. Billy said, “I wouldn’t like this scholarship to be just about grades and possibly go to a kid from a wealthy family. It should go to someone who would have a tough time without it.”

  Everyone agreed.

  By the time dinner was served, the guys felt great. They were moving ahead, and what could be a better time than Easter?

  June 2013

  Finn always called M-G a man of few words. They got along really well, going for long walks without speaking a word until they got home. Finn would usually say something like, “Good time, boy,” and M-G would give him a hug. He loved his grandfather.

  Although there was no one who would know it, M-G was the essence of Finn before he met Molly and turned into the person he was now.

  M-G missed his sister and Gabriel a lot. They were the two people with whom he had always talked. He loved his mother, but he had been sorely hurt when she had abandoned her family to go with the unknown person. As he got older and saw his parents’ deep love for each other, his heart softened, but in his mind, he always thought of his father as Gordie.

  He had to admit that Gordie was good-natured and funny and pretty cool. When M-G was in Antigonish, he took him to the service center where he worked and showed him many interesting things and how they were used. M-G enjoyed thinking about that when he went to bed at night.

  All that aside, M-G felt like his real home was with Billy and Kim and the guys. He felt close to Kim and considered Alex and Liam to be his brothers. He worshiped Billy and wanted to work with him when he finished school.

  Just because M-G didn’t say much didn’t mean that he missed anything that was going on around him.