Kitten’s hips tilted forward by the barest of degrees, the sharp pull of desire already making her nipples hard and her pussy wet. She hesitated, but only for a moment. Swallowing hard and biting her lip, she did as he asked and placed her right hand on her swollen sex.
“Do you touch yourself, Kitten?” he asked. He deliberately let the warmth of his breath caress her splayed flesh.
Kitten shivered. “S-s-sometimes.”
“Do you make yourself come?” Caleb carefully placed his hand on top of hers and pressed her fingers deeper into her own flesh. Kitten whimpered, flexing her hips upward toward their hands.
“Sometimes!” she whined loudly.
Caleb smiled at her, though he knew she couldn’t see it. Her eyes were fixed on the ceiling overhead. Caleb leaned forward and ran his jaw along her inner thigh.
“Show me,” he said.
Kitten’s body tightened, he could feel it beneath his cheek. He heard her take a deep, trembling breath and then her hand moved under his. He kissed the inside of her knee as he sat back and adjusted the painful erection in his pants. Every moment with her seemed both painful and sweet. He watched her small, delicate fingers find the apex of her pleasure and touch it experimentally. He smiled suddenly and brought his hand to his mouth, instantly realizing her scent saturated his fingers – he had the sudden urge to lick them, but didn’t. He knew it would only lead to other things.
Kitten arched her back. She rubbed at the little bud with mounting pressure and speed as her wetness made the flesh increasingly slippery between her fingers. It wasn’t long before soft, but insistent moans began breaking past her lips.
Caleb could feel the beat of his heart in his cock as it worked to push blood down to his erection. He knew he shouldn’t be so aroused, not when he’d already come twice, once against her pussy, and again in her mouth. However, being reminded and watching Kitten grow wetter did little to quell his desire and more to stoke it.
Kitten rocked her hips back and forth, slowly at first and then with growing speed as her obvious desperation grew. Her fingers rubbed her little clit and it visibly became redder, more swollen, but the sounds Kitten made had gone from need to frustration.
“I can’t…. I can’t when you’re watching me,” she said.
Caleb smiled, “The second thing you should know is to take pleasure whenever you can.” As he thought about what he was trying to express, his smile faded, “Know your body, Kitten. Know what turns you on. Most of the time you’ll be responsible for your own pleasure. There will be times when it will seem impossible, times when it will be impossible. Either way, you’ll have to be convincing. Convince me.”
Kitten’s fingers stopped and the only sound in the room was the sound of her pulling air into her lungs. She took her hand away from her body and tried to sit up.
Caleb stood and he met her watering eyes as she placed her hands behind her for balance. “Caleb,” her chin trembled, “no.” She seemed to be looking for more to say, more emotions to express.
Caleb didn’t want to hear what she had to say. He couldn’t bear to hear it. He stepped closer and reached behind her for her hand, only just avoiding her mouth as she turned to kiss him. He couldn’t bear that either.
“Master,” he said, “not Caleb.”
“But...you said –”
“I know what I said, Kitten. It was a mistake,” he said. He was confusing her, and for that, he was sorry. It had been selfish of him to allow her such intimacy, when she didn’t belong to him.
Kitten sobbed once, twice, but then nodded.
Caleb took her hand as he guided her back down onto the table. Before any more tears were shed or words spoken on Kitten’s end, he took her wet fingers into his mouth and tasted her pussy on them. He closed his eyes as the taste of her, both sweet and tart, burst over his tongue. He moaned low, sucking them into his mouth until he watched Kitten’s eyes widen and go darker, signaling her arousal.
Slowly he pulled her fingers out of his mouth and guided them back onto Kitten’s pussy. Kitten closed her eyes for a brief second and lifted her hips to meet them. “You’ve been touching your clit,” he whispered, making small circles against her clit with her own fingers. “Don’t forget you have this delicious little hole.” He guided her fingers down and pushed the tip of her slender middle finger into her pussy.
“Oh, God!” she exclaimed. Her back bowed and her body froze, but Caleb could tell she was only adjusting to new sensations and not coming.
“Is it good, Pet?” he asked.
Kitten only nodded and let her body drift back down gently before her hips began rocking against her hand. Caleb slowly took his hand away and sat back down in his chair to watch. Kitten cupped her breast absently and pressed the hard pebble of her nipple between her fingers as Caleb had done to her so many times before. She whimpered, her previous trepidation fleeting in the face of her mounting pleasure.
He watched Kitten’s fingers, the middle one delving a little further with each hesitant thrust. Caleb felt like he could only handle so much, especially with the taste of her still so pervasive in his mouth. Once again, he placed his hand on hers. He marveled at the way her body seemed to pulsate with need. She tried to keep touching herself, but his hand prevented it. Caleb inhaled sharply, dizzy with desire. He leaned forward, slipping his tongue up through her fingers.
Kitten cried out. She writhed against his all too gentle mouth, rattling the stirrups and filling the room with her desperation. He was too gentle. He knew there was no way she could come from the soft licking. So he kept licking, sometimes pushing the tip of his tongue into her pussy. He loved the way she whimpered, whined, and moaned.
After a while though, he knew he had to stop – or he wouldn’t stop. He stood up and looked down at Kitten’s quivering body. She turned her head and closed her eyes as her breasts rose and fell with the effort of her breathing. He sighed deeply and savored the taste and smell of her. It has to be now. He pulled out the small drawer attached to the table.
“You’re beautiful, Kitten,” he said. He took out two sets of handcuffs. She didn’t open her eyes, but flinched at the sound of the cuffs. “You’ve been very, very, good. I hope you’ll continue to be.” He cuffed her right wrist to the table comfortably and smiled when she finally opened her eyes and looked at him with those big, brown, inquiring eyes. “You’re not resisting,” he said with a bright smile. “I’m impressed.”
She hesitated when he reached for her left wrist, but then her arm relaxed and her breath quickened. Secured in her handcuffs, he reached out and traced her nipple with his index finger. His dick twitched when her sigh filled the silence. Next, he blindfolded her which added to the already intoxicating tension in her body. Caleb was surprised she hadn’t said a word or resisted him in any substantial way – he couldn’t decide whether or not he had wanted her to be so pliable.
“What are you thinking?” he asked. He slowly reached for the machine that would deliver the surprise he had planned.
Kitten licked her lips, “I’m thinking…” she undulated against her restraints, “how badly I want you to finish what you started.”
Caleb chuckled, “Trust me. I intend to.” He flipped the switch on the machine. It made an ominous humming sound, not unlike a generator.
Kitten tried to move all at once, her efforts resulting in nothing more than the clanging of handcuffs against her railing and nothing more.
“What is that?” she shouted.
“Do you want me to gag you too?” Caleb asked. Kitten shook her head violently. “Okay then, let me finish.”
Kitten strained against her bonds when his fingers grabbed hold of her sensitive clit and affixed a padded clamp. She wiggled her bottom trying to shake it loose, but it wouldn’t move.
“I wanted you to be nice and ready for this. And you are; you’re so close.” He sucked hard on her nipple and despite her growing fear she arched her back, trying to push more of her tit into his mouth. It was temp
ting, but Caleb pulled away and clamped her nipple snugly and repeated his efforts on the other breast. When he finished he stepped back and took in the graphic picture she made – blindfolded, bound, and clamped with thin cables running between her legs. “I think I’ll gag you anyway, I wouldn’t want you waking anyone.”
Kitten seemed on the verge of protest, but Caleb put a swift stop to it by placing a soft piece of cloth into her mouth and securing it behind her head. Not much of a gag really, but it would muffle any sounds coming out of her mouth and make her words incoherent.
“Shh,” said Caleb in the crest of her ear. “This next lesson is probably the most important and most difficult to learn.” He stroked her hair. “Pleasure comes to you only when your Master desires it. In the meantime, you’ll hunger for it, ache with it, and suffer through it – much like you are now. I’m going to bed. If you continue being a good girl, maybe I’ll let you come for breakfast.”
Kitten was in the middle of a muffled tirade when a surge of pulsing electricity simultaneously zapped through her clit and nipples. Caleb watched as her body became paralyzed with panic and intense pleasure. The current was low enough not to hurt, but strong enough to make her body contract. She strained and pressed toward the sensation. She arched her back, lost in the sensation of the clamps gently pulling on her nipples as little tremors were sent through them. Her hips pumped gently into the air looking for release when the sensation abruptly stopped. She screamed with frustration, no way to alleviate her need – neither by finding release, or letting it ebb into nothingness.
Caleb gave her one more lingering look and then he made his way toward the stairs. He called behind him, “It’s going to be a long night. Good luck, Kitten.”
Out of the wine cellar, Caleb pressed his back against the door, and let out a sigh to fight the urge to run downstairs and bury himself inside of his beautiful, cock-starved virgin.
“Fuck,” he said on a rush of air and headed toward his room. Tired, Caleb checked his watch. It was late, or early, depending on how you looked at it. He undressed and turned out the light. In the darkness of the room and his mind, she came to him. He held his erect cock firmly and an image of Kitten came to him.
He imagined her downstairs; with her legs spread wide and her pussy open and wet. His cock throbbed hotly in his fist. He gripped it tight, squeezing out warm precome. He smeared it over the head. He fantasized.
He used his thumb to gently pry the small inner lips of her slippery little cunt and watched her moan. Then he slid his cock up and down her slit, covering himself in her juices, preparing them both. He leaned forward and the warmth of her breasts pressed against his naked chest.
Outside the fantasy he audibly moaned as his pace increased.
“Make love to me,” she whispered and they were suddenly in her bedroom. He reached down, pulled up her nightgown, and pushed against her with his cock. He was gentle, patiently waiting for her to relax, and her legs to drop open before he pushed again.
“I love you,” she said, with tears in her eyes. She kissed him and tangled her fingers in his hair, urging him deeper inside of her. She kept saying she loved him. He pushed himself fully inside her.
Faster and faster he stroked himself. His balls pulling themselves closer to his body ready to release the orgasm he’d been holding in for far too long.
He pumped in and out of her hot tightness, and she moaned and screamed her appreciation.
“I’m yours,” she panted, “only yours.”
It felt wrong to fantasize about such things – but Caleb didn’t care. Fantasies were all he could have and no one could take them from him. He grunted loudly as his orgasm erupted into the air, coating him in warm, sticky, semen.
Chapter Sixteen
Day 10: Evening
“I have to pee,” I say to Reed. He makes a face, but doesn’t comment. “What? People have to pee sometimes, Reed.”
“Yes,” he says drolly, “I’m aware. I just don’t understand why you feel the need to give me the specifics. A simple, ‘I need a break’ would have sufficed.”
I laugh and hop down from my bed to walk into the lavatory. Reed is a little stiff as I walk past him. He’s avoiding my eyes and purposely staring out the window. He can be such a weirdo, but I can’t help but wonder about him. I wonder what he’s like when he isn’t so wrapped up in his FBI persona.
You know what they say about the quiet ones.
I’ve been talking for hours. My mouth feels bone dry. I remove the plastic wrap from one of the cups and take a drink of water from the tap. It tastes like shit, but I swallow it anyway.
Somewhere far away in my mind, I know I should feel emotionally drained, or even weepy and sad. Mostly I just feel…nothing. I’m not sure why. I guess it’s because I know how the story ends and with every word I utter I know I’m preparing myself for the eventuality of what’s to come. It’s like I’m telling a story that happened to someone else.
I love Caleb. I love him. I don’t care anymore about the awful shit he put me through, what matters most is the fact my love for him, exists. No amount of talking or therapy will change what happened. It won’t change how I feel.
He’s gone, Livvie.
There it is. There’s the pain. It’s an ember forever burning in my heart. It’s a reminder Caleb will live forever.
I’ve cried so much over the last ten days. I’ve been living in so much agony. I know when all is said and done, when Reed has heard everything, when he and Sloan move on – I’ll be all alone with my pain and my love. But today – today I’m fine. Today I’m telling the story as if it happened to someone else.
I conclude my business in the bathroom, wash my hands and open the door. Sloan is standing in the room with Reed when I come out of the bathroom. The atmosphere seems thick, but with what, I’m not certain. Sloan is smiling, but Reed looks like someone ate his lunch out of the community fridge.
Sloan holds up a large brown sack with grease stains on the bottom. “I brought dinner,” she says to me.
“Awesome!” I say, surprised by the gesture.
Sloan smiles at me, warmly. “I know how you love the hospital food, but I figured you might appreciate some greasy burgers and fries instead.” My stomach growls in response and Sloan lifts a smug eyebrow. “Agent Reed, I know you try to stay away from the junk, so I brought you a grilled chicken salad. I hope that’s okay.”
I take the bag from Sloan and set it on the rolling bed tray so I can get to my damn burger. Otherwise, I might try to eat through the bag. I reach in and grab the loose fries at the bottom and shove them into my mouth.
“Hawt! Hawt!” I say, but I keep chewing the salty deliciousness in my mouth. To hell with first degree burns, the fries are amazing! I’m so busy stuffing my face with loose fries it takes me a moment to realize no one else is talking. I look up and see Reed and Sloan are having some sort of awkward staring contest. I think Reed is losing. Interesting.
Reed finally clears his throat and looks toward his briefcase. “Actually, I have to go. I have some emails to answer and some calls I have to make. Um, thank you, though – for the food.” Reed begins gathering his things in a hurried fashion. I’ve never seen him so…flustered, I guess is the word.
Curiouser and curiouser.
“Matthew,” Sloan begins and falters when Reed stops gathering his things just long enough to glare at her. She holds up her hands. “Agent Reed, I can’t think of anything so time sensitive it can’t wait until after you’ve had dinner.”
Reed sighs deeply, but doesn’t stop getting his papers together. “Thank you for the food, Dr. Sloan. I don’t mean to be rude or sound ungrateful, but I really do have work to do. And yes, it is time sensitive. Offices in Pakistan should be opening soon and they have information I need.”
Sloan falters, pursing her lips briefly. “Oh. I didn’t realize. I’m sorry.”
No one even notices I’m here in the room and I feel like a voyeur. Fascinating! I think of Felipe a
nd Celia’s little surveillance hobby and blush. Whatever is going on between Sloan and Reed really isn’t my business.
“Here!” I say loudly, letting them know they are being watched. I raise Reed’s salad triumphantly, and eat the loose fries on the lid. “You can take it with you.”
Sloan gives me a grateful smile, as though relieved I broke their uneasy connection. She reaches for the container and takes it from my hand. “Yes, please take the salad. You have to eat something.”
Reed looks at the salad as if he’s never eaten one before, then at Sloan and me. He is angry, and it has nothing to do with anything. He is just pissed off. He wants to be angry at Sloan, but she hasn’t given him a reason, hasn’t said or done anything revolting. Still, he’s choosing to be angry with her. Finally, he sets his briefcase down on his chair and takes the container. “Thank you,” he says.
“You’re welcome,” Sloan says, in that soft way Caleb would use on me when he was feeling fanciful. Sloan watches Reed’s face, and then her gaze skids away when he glances at her and quickly averts his eyes.
Ooooh…she likes him. It surprises me and yet not. I tend to see Dr. Sloan and Agent Reed as robots, like they have no lives. It’s interesting to see them in a new way.
Reed’s face looks a little red. I can’t believe he’s blushing. He actually looks adorable. I don’t want him to leave. I want to sit on my bed and watch the two of them squirm under my scrutiny. I mean really…it’s only fair.
“Come on, Reed, stay.” I pat the spot at the foot of my bed, grinning. He looks at me silently. If looks could kill… “You said you’d listen to the rest of my story remember?”
“I really can’t, Miss Ruiz,” he says, “but I’ll be back later. In the meantime,” he opens his briefcase and removes his recorder, “tape it for me?”
Sloan takes the recorder and nods, carefully not looking at anything. “Of course.”
Reed nods tightly and closes his briefcase again before practically running from the room. I really can’t believe what I’ve just seen.
“What the hell’s going on between you two,” I ask Sloan around a mouthful of fries. She turns her head away from the door and looks at me, startled. I wiggle my eyebrows and she laughs.
“Nothing, Livvie. Nothing at all,” she says, her voice shaky. “Now stop eating my fries and give me those.” She reaches into the bag and takes out a burger and a container of fries before she sits in Reed’s former seat.
“Mmm,” she says when she pops a fry into her mouth.
“Mmm,” I mimic and do the same. When I’m done swallowing, I jump straight to the good stuff. “So…did you really come to see me or Agent Reed?”
Sloan smiles and shakes her head. Her mouth is full, but she tries to answer me anyway. “You, of course.”
“Liar,” I tease.
Sloan shrugs. “I’m not here to talk about Reed.”
“Don’t you mean…Matthew?”
“Livvie,” she says in warning.
“Janice,” I say sarcastically. “Come on, Sloan. I’ve been telling you both some pretty deep shit. I think I’m entitled to a distraction and some gossip. Reed’s hot. I understand.”
“There’s nothing to tell,” she insists, but she’s getting pink in the face. No matter the age, what I feel is universal. You can’t fight who you’re attracted to. Sometimes, fate gets it right, and then makes you pay for it.
“Whatever. I know something’s going on. Caleb used to get upset when I’d use his name in front of other people, but, in private? Whole other story. I saw Reed’s face when you called him Matthew. He was giving you the business.”
Sloan chokes on her burger and greedily takes a sip from her drink to clear it. “Livvie!”
“Fine, fine,” I say and pick up my burger, so disappointed. The burger is so greasy and I can already feel the grease running through my veins. I moan as I chew. “You don’t have to tell me, as long as you bring me another one of these tomorrow.”
“Deal,” Sloan says and takes another bite.
We eat in companionable silence for several minutes. The occasional moan and gluttonous eye roll as our only means of communication.
Afterward, Sloan and I talk about how I’m feeling. Fine. She asks if I might be ready to talk to my mother. No. Definitely, not.
“What could be the harm?” Sloan asks. “She misses you very much.”
I look down into my lap. I’m not sad. I’m embarrassed to look Sloan in the eye and admit the truth. “I want her to suffer.”
Sloan is quiet.
“The last few months have been awful,” I continue, “I’ve been beaten, humiliated, and forced into situations no person should ever have to suffer.” I pause, brooding and getting angry at my mother. “Still, I’d live it all again, if I could change the past eighteen years with my mother. I spent so much time already, trying to make her love me, understand me. I spent so much time giving a fuck about what she thought. I’m done, Sloan. I’m done caring. It’s time for me to live my own life, my own way and I don’t want her to be a part of it.”
“What is your way?” Sloan asks. There is no emotional quality to her voice. If she’s judging me, I can’t tell. If she agrees with me, it’s also a mystery.
“I don’t know. I have no idea who I’m supposed to be anymore. I only know I don’t want to be who someone else thinks I should be.”
“Good,” Sloan says.
Sloan and I talk for a while longer before I tell her I’m tired and want to lie down. I let her hug me goodbye and perhaps…I hold on to her for just a little longer than I intended. Sloan doesn’t seem to mind.
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