by JB Rowley
“Monkey move?” said Nellie.
“It’s a way of getting easily over walls, even high walls,” said Hamish, flicking his head slightly so that his long curls bounced up and down. “You run up toward the wall or whatever it is, place your hands on it, lift your back legs up and tuck your knees in as you pass over the wall and then extend your legs again when you are going down to land on the other side. Easy!”
“Yes,” said Charli. “That’s what we were doing. There was this rock wall in the park and we did the monkey to get over it. Only when we came down we were in an eerie misty forest.”
“And this weird blue creature appeared from nowhere,” said Hamish.
“You mean Gondvan, the master of the adventure.”
“Yes,” said Charli. “That’s what he called himself.”
“Bossy little elf, that’s what I call him,” said Hamish.
“Hamish didn’t like him. I think he would have beaten him up if I hadn’t stopped him.”
“Damn annoying little creature. Fancy keeping us here and telling us we can’t go home. It’s kidnapping, that’s what that is. I’ll get the police onto him as soon as I get home.”
Nellie smiled. She was sure that no-one, not even the police, would be able to find Gondvan, or even Gondwana.
“It’s not like that, Hamish,” she said. “We’re not in the real world. We are in an adventure created by Gondvan.”
“Yes, yes. I realise something weird is going on but I still don’t like the idea of a smarty pants blue elf thing forcing me to stay here against my will.”
“He told us we had to find our way out of the adventure before we could go home,” said Charli.
“That’s right,” said Nellie. “The same thing happened to me. I made it through my adventure and was on my way home but I decided to come back. Did he tell you anything else?”
“Only that the adventure is in two parts. The first part is to get through Fairytale Realm. He said we would find out about the second part later.”
“That sounds like Gondvan. How did you get into Fairytale Realm?”
“Well, the blue creature disappeared so we started to walk through the forest. Suddenly we walked into a cloud of golden mist and a golden path led us to these caves.”
“Then what happened?”
“Another crazy creature locked us in,” said Hamish. “There were no bars here when we first came in and then suddenly bars shot down and this crazy creature was standing where you are now, laughing at us.”
Behind her, Nellie heard what sounded like bells. Charli shrank back from the bars.
“That’s him. Can you hear the bells? He wears a hat with bells on it.”
4: Guessing Game
Nellie slipped back into the shadows and hid in a crevice. A creature, no taller than one of Snow White’s dwarves, with a man’s face and a pointy head, very large ears and a protruding nose, appeared. He wore a tall triple-peaked hat. At the end of each peak dangled a bell. The sleeves of his colourful patchwork jacket ended in zigzag hems and extended beyond the tips of his fingers so that his hands were completely hidden. Spindly legs covered by red and green striped tights disappeared into a pair of golden boots decorated with colourful bells, matching the ones in his hat.
He danced around and clapped his hands. A long tail curled out at the back of his tights. As he danced, bells jingled and his tail curled and bounced up and down. Nellie watched from her hiding place, hardly able to believe her eyes. She decided he was too funny to be a monster.
“Aha. Got you,” said the little creature in a squeaky voice.
Hamish stood up and approached the bars.
“Let us out of here,” he said.
The creature jumped up and down and danced again, laughing. “Let us out of here. Let us out of here,” he mocked.
“Let us out this minute,” said Charli.
The little dwarf-sized creature started to chant.
I’ll set you free.
I’ll set you free.
“I should think so,” said Hamish.
The creature stopped dancing and stood in front of the gate rocking from side to side. When he raised his right hand, the zigzag hem of his sleeve fell back to reveal long crooked fingers. He waggled a gnarled digit at the children and chanted.
First you have to play.
You have to play.
“For heaven’s sake,” said Hamish.
“What do we have to play?” said Charli.
You have to play. You have to play.
You have to play my guessing game.
He danced around in a circle, stopping again in front of the cage.
“What is your guessing game?” said Charli.
Once, twice, thrice guess my name.
You have to play. You have to play.
You have to play my guessing game.
Without any further explanation the colourful imp-like creature turned and left. As soon as he had gone Nellie stepped forward.
“That is a strange creature,” she said.
“He wants us to guess his name,” said Charli.
“Yes, I heard him. There are millions of names. It would be impossible to guess his. We’ll have to find another way to get you out. Maybe we can widen the bars so you can squeeze through.”
“I’ve already tried that,” said Hamish.
“We could all try together,” said Nellie.
Nellie and Charli gripped one of the bars and started to pull.
“It won’t work,” said Hamish but he gripped the bar and helped them. They all tried as hard as they could but the bars were too strong.
“Never mind,” said Nellie. “I have an idea.”
“It had better be good,” said Hamish.
“Well, it’s just that we are in Fairytale Realm and that creature reminds me of a fairytale creature.”
“What fairytale creature?” said Charli.
“Rumplestiltskin,” said Nellie. “In the story a queen is tricked by a creature who threatens to take her child away unless she guesses his name. He gives her three days. On the first two days she guesses lots of names but they’re not the right ones. Finally, she finds out his name is Rumplestiltskin. So on the third day she tells him the correct name. The creature is so angry he just stamps his foot and disappears.”
“So that’s his name,” said Charli.
A noise alerted them to the creature’s return. Nellie slipped back out of sight. A few moments later the cave imp stood in front of the gate again, rocking back and forth. He laughed at Charli and Hamish. Holding up a crooked finger, he chanted in his squeaky voice.
Your first chance, your first chance.
You will guess and I will dance.
He danced around, clapping his hands as he had done before. The bells on his hat and boots jingled. His tail curled and bounced up and down. Hamish held up a hand, gesturing for him to stop. He stopped dancing and stood in front of the gate rocking back and forth, a smug smile on his face. Then he cocked his head to one side and placed a hand behind his ear.
“Your name,” said Hamish, “is Rumplestiltskin.”
The little creature clapped his hands again and chanted triumphantly.
Tis not, tis not, what a lot of rot
And my name is not...Tom Tit Tot.
He repeated the chant as he danced out of the cave, his tail bouncing behind him. Nellie reappeared from the shadows.
“What do we do now?” said Charli.
“I am not sure,” said Nellie. “Rumplestiltskin is his name in the fairy tale. And sometimes he is called Tom Tit Tot.”
“He said he is not Tom Tit Tot,” said Charli. She sighed and leant up against the iron bars. “How are we going to get out of here?”
Hamish scanned the bars with his hands, trying to find some way to work them loose but it was hopeless.
“I think I remember that Rumplestiltskin story,” said Charli. “The queen’s messengers found out the creature’s name, didn’t they?”
“Yes,” said Nellie. “She sent her messengers out to see if they could find out what his name was. By chance one of them heard him chanting like this:
Tomorrow I brew and then I’ll bake.
Tomorrow the queen’s child I’ll take;
the queen will never win this game,
for Rumplestiltskin is my name.
“Yes, I remember,” said Charli. “The messengers rushed back and told the queen.”
“I don’t see how that helps us,” said Hamish. “We don’t have any queen’s messengers here.”
“But I could try,” said Nellie. “I will go and see what I can find out. The funny cave creature likes chanting so perhaps I will be lucky like the queen’s messengers.”
“That’s a good idea. Thank you, Nellie,” said Charli. “Please hurry.”
Nellie started to move toward the next cave chamber but the sound of bells stopped her. The creature was returning. She slipped back into her hiding place.
Once again, the creature stood in front of the gate rocking back and forth, laughing. Holding up two gnarled fingers he chanted in his squeaky voice.
Second chance, second chance.
You will guess and I will dance.
He danced around, clapping his hands as he had done before. The bells on his hat and boots jingled. His tail curled and bounced up and down. Charli held up her hand. He stopped dancing, cocked his head to one side and placed a hand behind his ear.
“Is your name Zinzan?” she said.
The creature shook his head and laughed. Charli continued. “Tautahanga, Tamati, Hikawera, Tana, Apirana, Ali, Jonah, Hosea, Israel, Piri, Beauden or Zachary.”
Each time she mentioned a name the creature, with a triumphant grin on his face, shook his head, each time more vigorously than the time before.
Charli tried again. “Is it Sam, Seth, Butch, Bruce, Ethan, Gary, Hinton, Ryan, Trent, Sonny, Aaron, Conrad, Wyatt, Victor, Owen, Liam, Kieran, Luke, Richie, Benjamin or Winston?”
The little creature clapped his hands again and chanted jubilantly.
Tis not, tis not, what a lot of rot
One more chance is all you’ve got.
He danced out of the cave.
5: Fairytale Realm
Nellie waited a few minutes and then quietly followed the cave creature. She had to find out his name or they would all be lost in this fairy tale forever. She went from chamber to chamber, peering carefully into each one. Finally, she heard whispering. She followed the sound until she came to a group of white columns around a sunken pool of blue water. From a hiding place behind a large column, Nellie watched and listened. The strange creature was whispering to its reflection in the water.
They’ll never guess, they never can.
They’ll never know....I’m Troggiwockapan.
He repeated it over and over. Each time he finished the chant he clasped his chest with both hands as though hugging a secret to himself.
Nellie hurried back to Charli and Hamish and told them what she had heard. As soon as the sound of bells warned her that the creature was returning, she slipped into her hiding place.
Once again, the little creature appeared in front of the bars and stood rocking back and forth and laughing. He held up three crooked fingers and chanted in his squeaky voice.
Your last chance, your last chance.
You will guess and I will dance.
This time he was so sure he had outsmarted Charli and Hamish that he danced and clapped more enthusiastically than ever. His tail flipped and curled and bounced. The bells jingled.
Calmly, Charli held up her hand. He stopped dancing, cocked his head to one side and placed a hand behind his ear.
“Is your name Hamish?” said Charli. Hamish snorted.
The creature squealed and laughed. He repeated the name in his squeaky voice. Hamish! Charli smiled and pretended to guess again.
“Is your name, Charlie?”
The little creature screeched. Charlie! Ha!
Charli beckoned him closer to the bars. When he was close enough for her to touch him, she chanted in his ear. “We’ll never guess. We never can. We’ll never know your name...unless it is... Troggiwockapan!”
The creature stared at her.
“You heard me,” said Charli. “Your name is Troggiwockapan.”
He screeched.
Who told you? Who told you?
Then he gave a mighty shriek, stamped his foot hard and evaporated in a puff of smoke. At the same time the iron bars disappeared. Charli and Hamish stepped out. Nellie joined them.
“Thank you, Nellie,” said Charli.
“Let’s get out of here,” said Hamish.
They ran as fast as they could to the entrance of the cave.
“We are free,” said Charli.
“We are free. We are free,” chanted Nellie. She started skipping and mimicking Troggiwockapan’s dance. Charli laughed and joined in.
“How come you’re wearing karate pants, Nellie?”
“I put them on to practise some karate yesterday. No I mean, today. I keep forgetting time is different here. It seems strange that we can spend a whole day in Gondwana and only a second passes in real time.”
The girls chatted together as they skipped and danced along the golden path. Hamish walked behind, shaking his head as though he were a parent supervising naughty children. When a swirl of golden mist appeared before them they stopped, almost falling over each other.
Out of the mist stepped two majestic white horses. Their thick white manes had been plaited and woven with gold ribbons. Each horse had a gold strap running from its halter along its nose. Attached to the strap was a gemstone of deep red; a red so dark it appeared to be tinged with black. The horses were pulling a golden four-wheeled carriage with a covered hood and velvet curtains of deep red.
Nellie and Charli gasped. A curtain was slowly drawn back to reveal the smiling face of the beautiful lady with the golden curls.
“Fairy Godmother,” said Nellie.
“Fairy Godmother?” said Charli.
Hamish snorted.
“At your service,” said Fairy Godmother. “Allow me to take you on a tour of Fairytale Realm.”
“I have seen all I want of Fairytale Realm,” said Charli.
“Yes,” said Nellie. “We need to concentrate on getting out of this adventure.”
Fairy Godmother opened the carriage door.
“The tour will help you on your way and take you back to your adventure.”
She beckoned and moved across the seat to make room for them. Charli and Nellie climbed into the carriage.
“Where’s the driver,” said Hamish, looking up at the empty driver’s seat.
“You may sit in the driver’s seat,” said Fairy Godmother.
Hamish grinned. He climbed up into the seat and picked up the reins. Fairy Godmother closed the carriage door.
“Hamish doesn’t know how to drive a carriage,” said Charli.
“Do not distress yourself,” said Fairy Godmother. “The horses do not need a driver.” She winked at them. “But we will let your Hamish think he is controlling the horses.”
Nellie and Charli grinned. They heard Hamish’s voice.
“Come on you horses. Giddy up.”
The steady clip-clop of the horses began as the carriage moved slowly along the path. On either side of the road they saw strange buildings. Twelve beautiful princesses, each wearing a tiara and each wearing a different coloured dress danced in silver shoes along the street.
“That’s The Twelve Dancing Princesses,” said Charli.
Behind the princesses, a slender girl with golden hair flicked a long switch as she herded a flock of geese.
“The Goose Girl,” said Nellie.
Outside the window of a house stood a group of animals making a dreadful noise. What was even stranger was that the animals were standing on each others’ backs. The donkey had a dog standing on its back. The dog had a cat standing on its back. The cat had a
rooster standing on its back. The rooster crowed. The cat meowed. The dog barked. The donkey brayed.
“The Bremen Town Musicians,” said Nellie.
Next door was a shoe shop. Through the window, Nellie saw elves sitting at a table making leather shoes.
“The Tailor and the Elves.”
The carriage passed three little pink pigs building three little pink houses next door to each other. Sounds of grunts and knocking and hammering mingled with the honks of the geese and noise of the other animals.
Nellie noticed what she thought at first was a short gentleman in a smart suit, a feathered hat and long shiny black boots. When she saw a furry tail sticking out at the back of the suit she knew who it was.
“Look, Charli, there’s Puss in Boots.”
“Yes,” said Charli, “and look over there. That’s Beauty and the Beast walking hand in hand. Oh, that’s so sweet.”
Fairy Godmother beamed. She seemed pleased that they were enjoying Fairytale Realm.
“There’s Little Red Riding Hood over in the park.”
“And Rapunzel. See, Nellie, up in that tower.”
“Oh yes, look at her long golden hair.”
The carriage passed familiar fairytale characters one after the other. Charli and Nellie nudged each other and pointed each time they spotted characters they recognised.
“Look. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”
“There’s Goldilocks. And the three bears are chasing her.”
“Hhmm,” said Nellie, “I can smell something delicious. There must be a bakery somewhere.”
“Not a bakery, Nellie. Look. It’s the Gingerbread Man.”
“So it is. And over in the trees, I think that’s Hansel and Gretel.”
“It is Hansel and Gretel. And look over there by the bridge, that’s the Three Billy Goats Gruff.”
“This is brilliant, Nellie. I’m having the bestest time.”
When the carriage slowed and drew to a halt, Nellie was disappointed.
“Is the tour over?”
“Yes, my dear. It is time for you darling children to continue your adventure.”