Seeming to come to the end of his story, Liu Yi fell silent, and Wen Yu tried to absorb it. Part of him did not want to believe such a tale could possibly be real; on the other hand, he had talked to a tortoise and found his way here, and he had seen the poems with his own eyes.
"I don't think I can translate them," he said after a moment. "I've never seen that language, and I don't know how I would go about learning it."
"I'm not sure either." Liu Yi seemed to ponder it. "I have long tried to translate them with no luck. Still, there must be a way."
"What do you suppose they say?"
"I don't know." Liu Yi smiled, sudden and bright. "I would assume, judging by their name, it would be poetry of some sort."
Wen Yu refrained from rolling his eyes.
"Will you try to translate them?" Liu Yi leaned forward, expression serious now.
"I am taking the Palace Examination. It'll be held soon, and I must study. I came here from my family's house so as not to be distracted in these last few months. Taking on another project …"
"Consider it, at least." Liu Yi reached across the table, covering one of Wen Yu's hands with his own. Liu Yi's hand was small and soft, Wen Yu noticed, the hand of a scholar or a courtesan; it made him feel a little warm inside. "Please."
Liu Yi's eyes were too pretty; it wasn't fair. He found himself nodding. "I'll consider it."
"Thank you."
Again, Liu Yi's smile was wide and sweet, and Wen Yu looked away.
On the walk back to his own rooms, Wen Yu allowed himself to admit that he was interested in translating the poems. The challenge of it had grabbed his attention right away; the amazing, puzzle-like quality of learning new languages had always been something he'd found enjoyable, and he loved studying poetry.
Then there were Liu Yi's pretty smiles. Wen Yu found that he was blushing and mentally scolded himself. He barely knew Liu Yi, not to mention how impossible it was for him to become involved with anyone, save maybe Shi Fei, with whom he had grown up. Becoming physically involved with anyone else in a dalliance of pleasure or love would mean them seeing him unclothed, which would be the end of any secrets. Just the idea of it made fear twist his belly and close his throat.
Still, Wen Yu, set the fear aside and allowed himself to feel cautious hope; he wouldn't mind seeing Liu Yi smile at him like that again.
Four
Wen Yu was bent over his desk studying the history of military formations, as well as which were used under what conditions, when a knock came at the door.
Frowning, Wen Yu stood and moved across the room the pull open the door. He stared at Liu Yi on the other side, looking completely out of place in the dilapidated hallway.
"Liu Yi." Wen Yu finally remembered how to swallow and did so several times, before stepping back. "Come in."
As Liu Yi moved into the room, Wen Yu tried to remember if he'd left any dirty clothes or a day-old bowl of rice lying about. Ducking around Liu Yi, he was relieved to see he hadn't, although his blankets were still piled on the mat on the floor where he slept.
"You don't have a bed?" Liu Yi prodded the blankets with the toe of one of his embroidered boots. Dressed like that, it was a miracle Liu Yi had made it all the way to his room without being robbed.
"No, the room didn't come with one. But the mat is plenty comfortable." Wen Yu hastily knelt to fold the blankets.
"We used to sleep on the floor when I was very young." Liu Yi looked around the room. "Back when I still lived with my family, I used to sleep with my sisters."
"You have sisters?" Wen Yu looked up with a smile. "So do I. Four of them, as a matter of fact."
"I have two." Liu Yi knelt by Wen Yu's small brazier, fanning the fire back to life and checking to make sure there was water in the kettle. "Are your sisters older or younger than you?"
"All but one is older," Wen Yu said. "All of them are married. And all but my youngest sister have children of their own."
"Both of my sisters are younger." Liu Yi put the kettle over the flame and then stood. "I don't know if they are married or not, it's been a long time since I have spoken to them."
Wen Yu wondered what that must be like; these last few months in the city had been the longest he'd ever been outside of his family's watchful eye.
"I do not think I have mentioned how commendable I find it, you having made it to this level in the examination process so young."
Wen Yu ducked his head, feeling his cheeks heat. "Thank you. My father never made it past the local examination. It was his dream that his son should rise to become a full scholar bureaucrat and work in the emperor's palace. He has done everything to make sure I got this far, spared no expense. I began training with tutors as soon as I was able to hold a brush."
"Even so, you would not have made it all the way through to the Palace Examination unless you yourself had considerable talent as a scholar."
"Thank you." Wen Yu looked down at his hands. "Some of it I very much enjoy; the literature for instance, the poetry, and I don't mind the Classics or calligraphy, although I'm not as good at either. The mathematics, military, and political strategy, on the other hand, I find tedious."
"Won't that be most of what these examinations will be on, though?" Liu Yi asked.
"Yes, unfortunately."
Liu Yi tilted his head to one side. "But if you don't care for political strategy, do you not want to be a political official? Because as one who has lived for many years in the Imperial Palace, I can tell you political strategy is about all you will be doing. The poetry will be limited only to your leisure time."
"I …" Wen Yu looked away. On the brazier, the teakettle let off a loud hiss and whine as steam rushed out, and Wen Yu stood to make them both tea.
"Still," Liu Yi said from behind him, voice soft. "If you were to become an official at court, then you would stay."
Part of Wen Yu wanted to ask why Liu Yi would care if he stayed or not, but another thrilled with the idea that Liu Yi would care. Instead of asking, he kept quiet and made the tea.
"Do you have work I'm taking you away from?" Wen Yu asked as he set the cup of tea in front of Liu Yi, who shook his head.
"No, I made sure this afternoon was free. Usually, though, I write letters, run errands, and organize the schedules for several court officials. Sometimes Lady Yin Lihua has me come and play the liuqin for her. She composes, you see, and is always looking for someone to try out her latest piece." He picked up the cup of tea and took a sip. "Although she is forever telling me that no matter what piece she gives me to play, I always make it sound sad."
"I would like to hear you play," Wen Yu said, and caught a glimpse of Liu Yi's smile, ducking his head.
"Then I shall play for you sometime."
Wen Yu heard the soft clink as Liu Yi set down his cup. There was a soft tap-tap noise as outside it began to rain. Drops fell on the tiled roof outside Wen Yu's window.
"I shouldn't keep you from your studies any longer."
"No." Wen Yu looked up at that. "No, it's all right, I could use a rest. For a little while, at least." He cast his mind about for something for them to speak of or do. "Do you play liubo?" he asked finally.
"Why, yes. Do you have a set?"
"I do." Wen Yu scrambled up, and after some searching, located his board and pieces. It was a small wooden set, not particularly fancy or expensive.
Wen Yu set the board down between the two of them, and he counted out their flat, rectangular game pieces, six white to Liu Yi, six black for himself, along with their throwing sticks and counting chips. Wen Yu placed the fish tokens in the water square at the center of the board and then sat back, letting Liu Yi throw his sticks first and determine how many moves he would make. The game was part strategy, part luck, and Wen Yu learned early on that Liu Yi was quite good at the strategy. Perhaps I could count this as study after all. Wen Yu threw his own sticks, keeping a close eye on Liu Yi's pieces and their placement across the board.
Liu Yi was the f
irst to get to turn one of his pieces into an owl. With a small chuckle, he set the rectangular game piece on end so it stood up from the board instead of lying flat, and Wen Yu groaned.
"I don't think I'm going to win this time."
Liu Yi only grinned wider and moved his piece to the water in the center of the board to claim one of the fish pieces, the collection of which was the point of the game.
"Are you hungry?" Wen Yu stood. "I think I might have some cakes, and I can make more tea."
"More tea would be lovely." Liu Yi looked up from the board, still smiling, and Wen Yu couldn't help but smile back.
He set the kettle on the fire and turned to see that Liu Yi was no longer smiling. In fact, he had gone pale, one hand pressed against his chest.
"Are you all right?" Wen Yu moved back towards him, and Liu Yi waved one hand.
"I'm just feeling a bit ill, nothing unusual, but I fear I may need to postpone our game. I should get back to my rooms at the palace. I have medicine there." He stood and gave Wen Yu a small bow. "Thank you for seeing me so unexpectedly, and thank you for a lovely afternoon."
"I'll walk you back to the palace." Wen Yu took the kettle off the fire and began searching around for his jacket, boots, and umbrella.
"Really, it's not necessary."
"But it's raining," Wen Yu pointed out. "And you are feeling ill. It would be terrible of me to let you walk across the city in the rain, alone, when you are not feeling well."
He ushered Liu Yi ahead of him and down the rickety staircase. They huddled together under the eaves as Wen Yu opened his umbrella and held it over both of their heads.
When they stepped out from under the eaves and into the street, Wen Yu realized it was not raining hard. It had been raining long enough, however, that water ran in deep rivers down the center of the paved streets. They hurried down the road, doing their best to avoid the carts, their wheels sending out sprays of dirty water in their wake.
The boots Liu Yi was wearing were silk. Wen Yu thought they would probably be ruined by the time they made it back to the palace.
"Don't you live in the house where we met?" Wen Yu asked as they walked. To his surprise, Liu Yu looked away, raising one hand to partially hide his face with his sleeve.
"It's actually not my house. It belongs to a friend. I was not sure if the guards would let you into the palace, and besides, I wanted us to meet some place nicer then my little rooms." The last came out in almost a whisper, and Wen Yu hid a small smile. So he had not the only one worried about making a good impression.
Liu Yi stopped, pressed his hand again his chest again, his breath coming in ragged gasps. Wen Yu stopped too, holding the umbrella above both of them.
"Is there anything I can do?"
Liu Yi shook his head. "Nothing, but thank you."
After a moment, he let his hand fall and started towards the palace again. When they reached the massive stone walls of the outermost gates Liu Yi turned right and circled the wall until they came to a smaller wooden gate. Liu Yi rapped on it and waited as it was drawn open by a very wet-looking guard.
"Liu Yi." The guard nodded to him and threw Wen Yu a questioning look.
"He's with me." Liu Yi took hold of Wen Yu's sleeve and tugged him through the gate into the courtyard beyond. Across the wide, stone-paved courtyard, Liu Yi pulled open another door and ushered Wen Yu through.
The room he stepped into was small, decorated with a wooden writing table against one wall, with a carved wooden chair next to a low table in the center of the room. There was rug in red and gold on the floor, and the birdcage Wen Yu had given Liu Yi hung from the ceiling in one corner, the small thrush sleeping in it.
Liu Yi walked straight through the room, opening an ornately carved door at the far end, and disappeared. Wen Yu was not sure what to do. He set his umbrella aside to dry and removed his boots so as not to get water on the floor.
There was a window on either side of the long narrow room, Wen Yu saw. The shutters on the window to his left were closed, but the window near his writing desk was open. The window was not covered in paper, although there was a wooden lattice over it. Wen Yu could still see through the window out into the courtyard. A long, low bench ran under the window just at the right height for someone to sit and look out, and a liuqin was propped against it.
The instrument would get wet if the wind picked up; he padded across the room to pull the shutters closed. Turning from the window, Wen Yu saw Liu Yi come back in through the doorway.
"Thank you." Liu Yi bowed to him. "For escorting me here."
"It was nothing." Wen Yu looked away, rubbing one hand along his opposite arm.
"May I get you some tea?"
Wen Yu shook his head. "I really should be going, I have studying."
"Yes, of course." Liu Yi bowed one more time as Wen Yu pulled on his boots and picked his umbrella back up. "Travel safely."
"Thank you." Wen Yu bowed to him then let himself out.
There were two guards when he passed back through the smaller gate and onto the street. They watched his progress but did not try to stop him.
It was still raining; the amount of water now flowing through the streets had increased, and the stone-tiled banks of waterways that ran through the city were swollen with it. The limbs of all the trees were heavy with rain. Wen Yu put his head down and headed back towards his own little room.
*~*~*
Liu Yi was beautiful, educated, and more than a little mysterious. He was like no one Wen Yu had ever met.
In his little room, Wen Yu stared at the place where they'd sat together, drunk tea, and played liubo. Liu Yi would have beaten him, Wen Yu was sure. He'd never met anyone who could beat him at liubo. Wen Yu hoped Liu Yi was feeling better, and that he was all right.
He imagined touching Liu Yi's hair, brushing it away from his face, imagined touching Liu Yi's cheek. What would it feel like to kiss Liu Yi? Would Liu Yi allow himself to be kissed? Eunuchs were forbidden from having affairs with women, but not with men. Men married women and sometimes had affairs with men, but not usually with eunuchs. Wen Yu supposed that was one benefit from being different from other men; he could choose not pay attention to those rules.
Right now, he very much wanted to know what it would be like to kiss Liu Yi.
Liu Yi had been nervous their second meeting, wanted them to meet at a nicer house, dressed up just for Wen Yu. Why, Wen Yu wondered? To convince Wen Yu to help him? To make a good impression? Or was there something more?
Flopping down on his little makeshift bed, Wen Yu stared at the ceiling. It was pointless to think this way. He could not have an affair with Liu Yi. Doing so would mean risking everything he had worked for. Wen Yu covered his face with both hands. Not to mention, he could never stand to see the look on Liu Yi's face if he were to learn the truth. He would look at Wen Yu the way Wen Yu's father did.
Wen Yu would not be able to bear that.
But maybe, a voice whispered in the back of his head, maybe it wouldn't be that way. Maybe he would still look at you the way he does now, sit with you and play liubo, laugh, smile, and drink tea with you.
Wen Yu closed his eyes. In his mind, he kissed Liu Yi, who kissed him back, smiling, hair falling free around his shoulders. Liu Yi tasted like tea, mouth hot and soft; his hands fell against Wen Yu's shoulders and then slid around the cup the back of his head, tangling in his hair. Wen Yu kissed him deep and desperate, like taking something forbidden. Liu Yi's hands gripped at Wen Yu's hair, then back down to his shoulders, before, with more confidence, pushing up underneath Wen Yu's tunic.
Outside of his head, Wen Yu's hand traveled to the waistband of his trousers, and he paused. The imaginary Liu Yi kissed him hard and demanding, shoving his hands up underneath Wen Yu's tunic to grope at his chest and pinch his nipples. Would it be wrong to touch himself while thinking of Liu Yi? Wen Yu wondered briefly. But it wasn't as if he would ever actually get the opportunity to kiss or touch Liu Yi outside of his own mi
nd. He so rarely felt comfortable bringing himself pleasure; what could be the harm?
Shucking his trousers, Wen Yu spread his legs, hand going down to his cock. He rubbed it, trying to get himself hard. He was already a little wet, the slick spreading itself across his palms and between his thighs.
Liu Yi was still kissing him, kissing down his neck, hands still touching his shoulders and chest.
His cock was so small; Wen Yu worked his shaft, trying not to think about it. Not that he'd seen many other men's cocks, but still. He supposed at some point he'd have a partner he trusted, maybe even loved, enough to show his cock to, but he couldn't imagine it.
With a sigh, Wen Yu let his hand fall away from between his legs. This wasn't working.
Wen Yu tried to clear his mind of worries and anxiety. Then he reached down between his thighs again, pinching his cock between his thumb and forefinger and pumping it until his head fell back against the bed. Letting go, he rubbed over the head with his thumb, flicking it back and forth, before rubbing it again with the flat of his hand.
Taking a quick breath, Wen Yu eased two fingers slowly into his now wet front hole. It was an awkward angle, but he managed to pump them in and out shallowly. His other hand came to down to play with his cock, rub it and flick it.
Arms wrapped around him from behind, holding him close to someone else's body, hands ran up and down his chest and stomach as his own hands worked between his legs. He drove his fingers harder into his hole, eyes squeezed shut as he thumbed his cock hard.
Wen Yu rolled over from his back onto his hands and knees, holding himself up on one elbow while he pumped his fingers in and out of his slick hole. Stopping every once in a while, he rubbed his thumb over the head of his hard and swollen cock until he thought he wasn't going to be able to bear it.
Song of the Spring Moon Waning Page 4