“Jacob! Come on,” Anna shouted, causing the patient horse to toss his head.
Jacob came out the door letting it slam shut behind him. He had been trying to act as if the program was no big deal, but John could see he was excited, too. The teenager piled in the backseat with them.
After a second or two of getting settled, Jacob said, “Scoot over, Karen, and give me some room.” John grinned. Thank you, Jacob.
Wishing he could give the boy a pat on the back, John lifted his arm to make more room for Karen and laid it along the back of the seat. She moved closer, but remained stiff as a chunk of wood beside him. As much as he wanted to slip his arm around her shoulder, he knew it would only make her more uncomfortable.
“Ready, everyone?” Eli asked. Five confirmations rang out. Eli slapped the lines and the big horse took off down the snow-covered lane.
Sleigh bells jingled merrily in time with Benny’s footfalls. The runners hissed along over the snow as big flakes continued to float down. They stuck to the hats of the men turning their brims white before long.
As Anna and Noah tried to catch snowflakes on their tongues between giggles, John leaned down to see Karen’s face. “Are you warm enough?”
She nodded, but her face looked rosy and cold. John took off his woolen scarf and wrapped it around her head to cover her mouth and nose. “
“Thank you,” she murmured.
“My pleasure. It’s a perfect day, isn’t it?”
The thick snow obscured the horizon and made the farm seem like the inside of a snow globe. The fields lay hidden under a thick blanket of white. Cedar tree branches drooped beneath their load of the white stuff. A hushed stillness filled the air broken only by the jingle of the harness bells. It was a picture-perfect moment in time.
The school lay only two miles from the farm. For John, they reached their destination all too soon. As they drew close they saw a dozen buggies and sleighs parked along the south side of the white wooden school building. All the horses had their faces close to the wall to keep them sheltered from the wind.
As everyone scrambled out of the sleigh, John offered Karen his hand to help her out. When she took it, he gave her an affectionate squeeze. She graced him with a shy smile in return.
Inside the building, the place was already crowded with people. Student desks had been pushed out of the way to make room for benches down the center facing a small stage at the front of the room. Swags of fragrant cedar boughs decorated the windowsills and colorful paper chains ran from each corner to a light fixture in the center of the ceiling. Pegs along one wall held coats and hats while a table on the opposite wall bore trays of cookies and candies.
An atmosphere of joy, goodwill and anticipation permeated the air. Everywhere John looked there were welcoming smiles. The Imhoff children hurried to join their classmates behind a large screen off to one side of the stage. Eli, John and Karen found seats in the center.
For the next hour the little school became suspended in time. John saw parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends and neighbors focused not on the problems of the world or their own lives, but on the stage where children preformed their assigned roles, not perfectly, but beautifully nonetheless.
Together the community shook with shared laughter and sighed with quiet joy as the reason for the season was retold not by preachers but by eager young voices. When the last song began, Jacob had a small solo. To John’s surprise, the boy had a beautiful voice, by far the best in the group. His rendition of “Silent Night” was enough to bring tears to many eyes.
After the performance ended, Reuben Beachy came from the back of the school carrying a large sack. He didn’t wear a red suit, but his beard was white and his eyes held a distinct twinkle as he preformed the role of Father Christmas and passed out small gifts to the children.
Anna was delighted with her gift, a wooden puzzle. The little girl beside her unwrapped a book. Although she tried to hide it, it was clear she wasn’t as pleased with her gift. Noticing her friend’s unhappiness, Anna offered to swap gifts.
John glanced at Karen. She had seen her little sister’s unselfish act, and he knew she was pleased by it.
Later, when everyone had a plate of treats, Anna squeezed in between Karen and John. He said, “You did very well, Miss Anna. Your poem was perfection.”
“Danki.” Her excited high was fading.
“It was very nice of you to change gifts with your friend,” Karen added.
Anna shrugged. “Mary already has that book. I don’t.”
“It was a goot thing anyway.” Karen slipped her arm around the child and gave her a hug.
It was dark by the time the festivities wound down and families began leaving. John brushed the accumulated snow from the sleigh’s seats while Eli lit the lanterns on the sides. Benny stood quietly, one hip cocked and a dusting of snow across his back.
John stepped back inside to tell Karen they were ready. Scanning the room, he saw her with a group of young women. Two of them held babies on their hips. Karen raised a hand to smooth the blond curls of a little boy. As she did, her gaze met John’s across the room. In that moment, he knew exactly what he wanted.
He wanted Karen to have the life she was meant to live and he wanted to be a part of it. He wanted to spend every Christmas with her for the rest of his life.
“Is it time to go home? I’m tired.” Anna, sitting at her desk, could barely keep her eyes open.
“Yes, it’s time to go home.” He picked her up and she draped herself over his shoulder. Karen joined them a minute later.
In the sleigh, Noah and Jacob sat up front with their father leaving John to settle in with Anna across his lap and Karen seated beside him. The snow had stopped and a pale moon slipped in and out of the clouds as the horse made its way home. Snuggled beneath a blanket with Karen at his side, John marveled at the beauty of the winter night and the beauty of the woman next to him.
When they pulled up in front of the house, John handed Anna over to Eli, who carried her inside. The boys took the horse to the barn leaving John standing on the porch steps with Karen.
He said, “I had a wonderful time. Thank you for inviting me.”
“I’m glad.” She didn’t seem eager to get in out of the cold.
“I had no idea an Amish Christmas could be so much fun.” Or that it would clearly show him his heart’s desire.
She said, “We are just getting started, John. Tomorrow we will have many guests for dinner. We will have games to play and stories to share.”
He stepped closer. She fell silent but didn’t move away. Reaching out, he cupped her cheek. “Merry Christmas, Karen.”
“Merry Christmas to you, John.” Her voice was a soft whisper in the night.
Slowly, he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her.
Chapter Fourteen
Karen knew she should turn away from John, but she couldn’t make her body obey. His mouth closed over hers with incredible softness, a featherlight touch that wasn’t enough.
She raised her face to him, and he deepened the kiss. A profound joy clutched her heart and stole her breath. This was the moment she had been waiting a lifetime to experience.
Her arms crept up to circle his neck and she drew him closer still. The sweet softness of his lips moved across her cheek, touched her eyelid and then her brow as if claiming every part of her. When he pulled away, Karen knew he owned a piece of her soul forever. She would never be the same.
His eyes roved across her face. “I love you, Karen. If I have to spend a lifetime proving it to you, I will.”
Looking up at his beloved face, she whispered, “I do not doubt it for I love you, too.”
Slipping his arms around her, he pulled her close. She leaned against his chest, feeling his strength and his tenderness as he held her. Nothing had ever felt this right and yet she knew it was wrong.
With his cheek resting against her hair, he said, “You’ve taken the despair from my heart and replac
ed it with something wonderful. I belong here. I belong with you.”
“I wish with all my heart that you might stay among us,” she answered.
“I will stay. I’ll do whatever it takes to become Amish. I don’t know what my old life held. I may never know, but God brought me to you. I trust in Him. I believe this love and this faith is His will. It is His gift to me, and I will be thankful all the days of my life.”
She wanted to believe as he did but the reality of their situation was far from simple. “John, to become Amish is not an easy thing. What if your old life comes back to you and you must leave us?”
“What if it doesn’t?” he countered. “I can’t live in limbo forever. I need to belong somewhere. I need to make a life for myself. I want that life to be with you.”
She understood his desire to forge his own way but was it too soon? When would the time be right? Six months? A year? What right did she have to tell him to wait? He was certain of his love and of God’s plan for him.
Selfish or not, it was the same plan Karen prayed John would follow for she wanted him in her life as much as she’d ever wanted anything.
The sound of the barn door opening signaled the boys were returning. Reluctantly, she stepped out of John’s embrace. “I must go in.” He nodded. “Guten nacht, meim glay hotsli.”
His little heart. She liked the sound of that. “Good night to you, too, John.”
She entered the house and climbed the staircase with measured steps that belied the happiness inside her. Pushing aside her doubts, she relived the moment in his arms. With one kiss John had made this the most wonderful Christmas ever. He loved her.
Karen’s happiness carried her through Christmas morning with a smile that wouldn’t fade. The snow had stopped and the sun shone bright above a glittering world. Glancing out the window, Karen thought if someone could see inside her heart it must look the same.
Surely there was a sparkling and beautiful wonderland where an ordinary heart had resided only the day before. If not for a small dark cloud of doubt and worry that hovered in the background it would be perfect.
After a morning spent in respectful prayer, the entire family pitched in to get ready for the Christmas feast. When Nettie, Elam and Katie arrived, Anna quickly took over the care of baby Rachel. Less than an hour later, Eli’s brother, Carl, and his family arrived, disgorging eight more cousins along with Aunt Jean from the bulging buggy. Soon the house was filled with the smell of baking meats and pies and happy voices.
As the women took over the kitchen, the men took over the sitting room. Karen glanced frequently through the doorway wondering if John felt uncomfortable among her family, but she need not have worried. Once, when she checked on him, he caught her eye and winked then proceeded to jump several of her father’s checkers to the hoots of the onlookers.
Noah grinned at everyone. “I told you he is a goot player.”
It wasn’t until the guests left in the late afternoon that Karen tried to steal a few minutes alone with John. Her father and brothers had gone out to start the evening chores. John made to follow then, but Karen quickly asked him to help her put away the extra table leaves.
When her family was out of sight, John swooped in for a quick kiss. It was too brief as far as Karen was concerned, but she recognized his restraint and admired him for it. Part of her longed to bask in the glow of his love and believe everything would work out for them. Another part of her knew her happiness could shatter at any moment. She had spent her life listening to her practical side, but just for today she silenced those doubts and gave thanks to God for the precious gift of a Christmas day spent with the man she loved.
He said, “I’m going to miss you tomorrow.”
“We’ll only be gone three days. Besides, Papa is leaving Jacob in charge of the farm while we’re gone so you’ll have him to keep you company.”
“Jacob’s a nice kid, but I’d much rather spend time with you.”
She cupped his cheek. “I will be back before you know it.”
John covered Karen’s hand with his own. The happiness that bubbled through him was almost impossible to contain. He wanted to shout from the rooftops that he loved Karen Imhoff and she loved him. He thrust aside the tiny voice in the back of his mind that said he was rushing things.
He said, “I don’t know how Amish couples managed to keep their feelings a secret. I’m pretty sure people will take one look at my face and know I’m in love with you.”
“If they suspect, they won’t say anything. It’s a private matter for young couples, but we are expected to conduct ourselves modestly.”
“All right, I’ll behave but I wish you weren’t leaving.”
“It’s only for a little while.”
“It already feels like forever.”
She hesitated, then said, “While we are gone…”
“What?”
“Nothing, I’m being silly.”
“No, tell me.” He would do anything she asked.
“Keep an eye on Jacob for me. He has been hanging out with a group of older boys. I don’t think they are a good influence on him.”
“I’ll do my best. Don’t worry.”
She smiled then, a wonderful soft smile that melted his heart. “I won’t.”
The following morning, John saw them off in their hired car. Anna and Noah were excited as ever. Eli looked uncomfortable at the prospect of a car trip as he gave Jacob final instructions about the livestock. Karen just looked adorable.
As the car drove out of sight, John turned to Jacob. “Would you like some help with the horses this morning?”
“Nee. I can handle it.”
“I don’t doubt it for a minute, but Reuben’s shop is closed today so I’m free.”
“I don’t need your help.”
Why was the boy so touchy? Perhaps he had the impression that John didn’t trust him to do the work right. “If you don’t need me I may go to the library in Hope Springs for a while.”
He hadn’t checked the NamUs website for more than a week. He no longer expected to find anything, but he couldn’t give up his faint hope just yet.
Shortly before noon, John took the farm cart and one of the draft horses and traveled the five miles into Hope Springs. At the library, he checked the missing-persons website and found nothing new that related to him. The vague sense of dread that had accompanied him into the building slipped away.
For weeks he had feared he’d never find out about his past, but that had changed. Now, he worried he’d discover something that would take him away from the life he was building. Away from Karen.
On the trip home, John caught sight of a buggy leaving the Imhoff lane and heading away from town. He was almost sure the horse pulling the buggy was One-Way. Had Jacob decided to give the colt a little more road time?
Karen’s concerns and his own gut feeling made him decide to follow the boy. Benny was no match for One-Way’s pace and John soon fell farther behind.
When he crested the hill south of the farm the buggy was nowhere in sight. John drew Benny to a stop. Where had Jacob gone? Had he turned into one of the farm-steads? Suddenly, Benny looked east and whinnied. Buggy tracks led into a seldom-used side road.
Giving Benny his head, John let the big fellow lumber down the narrow lane. As they rounded a curve, John saw a dozen young men and buggies lined up at the side of the road. Ahead of them, two buggies sat side by side. An Amish boy with a red cloth in his hand stood in the middle of the lane. With a shout, he brought down his flag. The two buggies sprang forward, as the horses raced neck and neck down the narrow road. One of them was One-Way with Jacob in the carriage.
John watched in horror as the buggies rounded a sharp turn, sideswiped each other and locked wheels. The next instant, he saw the wheels of Jacob’s carriage catch the edge of the snow-filled ditch.
The sudden drop broke the vehicles apart. As the other driver raced on, Jacob made the mistake of trying to swing back into the center of the
road. He lost control. The black buggy flipped over onto its side dragging the horse off its feet.
John jumped down from his cart and raced toward Jacob, running past the other boys who were frozen with shock. He watched in helpless fear as One-Way floundered in the snow, tangling himself in the traces. Reaching the animal, John began speaking soothing words. He worked quickly to untangle the horse. John didn’t dare let go of the horse for fear the animal would injure itself or Jacob if he had fallen under the buggy. He had to keep One-Way still. He called out, “Jacob, are you all right? Answer me.”
Two Amish teenagers finally raced up to help. After making sure the boys had a good hold on the horse, John said, “Unhitch him and keep him quiet.”
Making his way back to the cab, John peered inside. Jacob lay crumpled on the floor. Fear stole the breath from John’s lungs. He climbed through the front windshield to reach the boy. “Jacob, can you hear me?”
Please, Lord, let this child be okay. Do not break Karen’s heart with another loss.
Reaching Jacob, John felt for his pulse and was relieved to find it steady and strong. “Jacob,” he called softly. “Are you hurt?”
Jacob eyes fluttered open. “I don’t think so,” he answered in a shaky voice.
“Just lie still.” John laid a hand on his shoulder to prevent him from rising.
It didn’t do any good. Jacob pushed his hand aside and pulled himself into a sitting position. “What about Henry? Was he hurt?”
John shook his head as he searched Jacob’s arms and legs for any obvious fracture. “He didn’t tip over.”
Jacob struggled to stand up. “What about One-Way?”
Hearing the panic in the boy’s voice, John knew he was more concerned about the horse than about himself. “I don’t know. I wanted to make sure you hadn’t broken your foolish neck.”
“I’m okay. Please, check on One-Way.”
“Your friends are with him. Let’s get you out of here first.” The two of them climbed out of the buggy.
Patricia Davids Christmas Brides of Amish Country: An Amish ChristmasThe Christmas QuiltA Hope Springs Christmas Page 15