For Sarah, the afternoon passed slowly, although Joann and Levi both landed fish. An hour later, Levi landed a huge one. The sight of his excited happy face only made Sarah more aware of how attractive he was.
Joann looked as excited as he was. “It’s a beauty, Levi! I think it’s the very one that got away from me last month. What kind of jig are you using?”
“This is a black Jig and Pig.”
“I’m going to have to get me a few.”
“I’ve got several. Try one of mine.”
Joann grinned. Her shyness had evaporated. “That’s nice of you, Levi. I believe I will.”
Sarah glanced between the two of them. Who would have thought something called a Jig and Pig could spark such interest between two people? The more relaxed they became with each other, the worse Sarah felt. Her plan was working, so why wasn’t she happy?
Within an hour, they had a stringer loaded with eight fat bass. Sarah had a bite or two, but they got away. Her heart wasn’t in the adventure. She wanted to go home and bury herself under the covers until her common sense returned.
She made the long ride home in silence. Joann, on the other hand, spoke with growing confidence. Levi gave his usual short replies, but occasionally expanded them to a full sentence or two. Sarah often felt his gaze on her, but she studiously avoided looking in his direction.
When they arrived back at her home, Levi took the fish to clean them. Joann followed Sarah into the house.
Once they were in the kitchen, Joann grabbed Sarah in a quick, strong hug. Just as quickly, she released Sarah and took a step back. She clasped her hands together. “Sarah, I had such a wonderful time. You can’t even know.”
“I’m glad.” She was. One of them should be happy.
“Levi is such a fine fellow. I’ve never enjoyed a day fishing more than I enjoyed this one.”
“I hope you get to enjoy other days together.”
“That would be nice, but I’m not holding my breath.”
“Why do you say that? You’re good company, you enjoy many of the things Levi enjoys, I don’t see why he wouldn’t ask you out again.”
Joann looked at her sadly. “Sarah, Levi isn’t interested in me. It was exciting to imagine he might be for a while, but I know the signs. I’ve seen the way my brothers and cousins look at the women they want to court. Levi doesn’t look at me that way. He looks at you that way.”
Sarah’s mouth dropped open. For the most part, Levi ignored her unless the business needed something. She’d lived beside him for years. “You are mistaken. Levi and I are friends, but nothing more.”
Joann gave her a quick puzzled look and then stared at her feet. “I’m sorry I said anything. Forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive.”
“I must get home. Thank you again for inviting me.” She hurried out the door.
Sarah moved to the window and watched her walk away. Joann was mistaken. Levi didn’t harbor the kind of feelings that she suggested. Sarah would have known if that were the case. She would have seen it in his beautiful blue eyes.
She glanced toward his house and saw him standing in the yard. He wasn’t watching Joann’s retreating figure. His gaze was on Sarah’s window, but he was too far away for her to read his expression.
* * *
Levi didn’t know what he had done wrong, but Sarah wasn’t speaking to him.
All day long on Friday, whenever he went in search of her, she was heading away from him. If he went to the upholstery room, she made some excuse about needing another type of thread and took off for her house. She handled the customers easily. She smiled and laughed with them, but when she was alone with him, she suddenly thought of things she needed to do elsewhere.
Twice, he cornered her in the small office, but each time she simply said, “Excuse me,” and slipped past him. Short of grabbing her and demanding to know what was wrong, he had no idea what to do.
Not only had Sarah turned cold, so had the weather. A gusty north wind rattled the shutters of the building and low gray clouds blotted out the sky. The nice weather had come to an abrupt end as winter returned. The weather forecast was calling for snow by the end of the week.
At four-thirty, Leah Belier drove up and came inside. Since he hadn’t a clue where Sarah had gone, he was forced to leave the new carriage he was finishing and speak to Leah. At least she was easy to talk to. “Good afternoon. Are you ready to leave your buggy with me?”
She smiled. “I am. I have one of my students bringing in the used buggy you loaned me. I see you are building a new one.”
“Ja, it is almost done.”
“Who is it for?”
“This one is for someone who needs one right away.”
“Like a family who has lost theirs in an accident?”
“Something like that. It’s plain inside, but I can change a few things if someone wants to fancy it up. It’s a good all-round buggy for a small family. I try to keep one or two finished samples on hand. This will make number three.”
“Can I see it?”
“Sure.” He led the way.
“Where is Sarah, today?” Leah asked.
“Around.” He wasn’t about to try and explain something he didn’t understand.
Leah opened the carriage door and looked it. “The upholstery is lovely in this shade of gray. I would only change a few small things.”
“Such as?”
“I’d need a bigger storage box added to the back and a cup holder up front. I like to sip my diet soda on the way to school in the mornings. It’s my one vice.”
“Diet soda isn’t much of vice. Mine is fresh orange juice.”
She laughed. “Levi, that isn’t a vice. Orange juice is good for you. Didn’t you learn anything in school?”
“Not enough, I reckon. I didn’t have you for a teacher.”
“Seriously, would you sell me this buggy? How much is it?”
He named a price and waited, expecting her to decline.
Instead, she said, “I’m tempted. Mine is almost fifteen years old and needs work. If I have to put out the money, I may as well get something I like. But not for as much as you’re asking.” She named a slightly lower price.
It was a fair offer. He didn’t want to turn down a sale, but he wanted to make sure she wasn’t doing this on an impulse. “You’d best think it over.”
“I have been thinking about it ever since you told me what was wrong with mine. I’m ready to do this.” She broke into a wide grin.
Could she really afford new on her teacher’s salary? He said, “Why don’t you take a look at some of the used carriages I have out back? They won’t be as expensive.”
“Honestly, Levi, you act like my money is no good.”
“I want you to be happy with what you buy from me.”
“I’m sure I will be. You haven’t forgotten about helping me set up for my winter picnic have you?”
“I haven’t. When should I come out?”
“There won’t be a lot to do. If you come the evening before, that will be fine.”
“It’s the weekend before Christmas, is that right? I’ll be there.”
“Wonderful. I will look at your used buggies, but I’m afraid only a new one will do now that I’ve made up my mind.”
He led the way to the back door and held it open for her. The twins were outside cleaning the ashes from the fire pit. They both had folded kerchiefs covering their noses and mouths. As Atlee hefted a shovelful of ash into a wheelbarrow, a gust of wind sent a cloud of it swirling toward the shop door.
With a muffled cry, Leah covered her face with her hands and turned into Levi’s arms.
Startled, he held still. “What’s wrong?”
“There’s something in my ey
e. Oh, it hurts. I think a cinder flew in it.”
“Let me see. Hold still.” He cupped her chin and turned her face up to his.
* * *
Sarah opened the front door of the workshop and looked around for Levi. She wouldn’t be able to keep running away from him forever, but she wasn’t ready to face him. Not if what Joann suggested was true. It couldn’t be.
Yes, their friendship had grown in the past days, but it was only friendship. She wouldn’t allow anything else.
It wasn’t in her to love a man the way Levi deserved to be loved. To love a man as deeply as she had loved Jonas would mean facing the possibility of loss and grief again.
She couldn’t live through another loss. It would be better never to love someone again.
She heard the sound of soft voices and rounded the counter to see if he was working in the back of the building. If he was, she could slip into the office and finish the day in there.
When she spotted Levi near the back door, she couldn’t believe her eyes.
He and Leah were locked in an embrace not twenty feet from her. Levi tenderly cupped Leah’s face and bent toward her. Was he going to kiss her?
Shock shook Sarah to her core. She quickly turned away.
Levi wasn’t in love with her. He was in love with Leah. Why hadn’t she seen it?
Instead of the elation that should have filled her at knowing her plan had worked, all she felt was disappointment. With astonishing clarity, she could imagine herself in Levi’s arms, lifting her face to receive his kiss.
She quickly left the building. Outside, she leaned against the door and pressed a hand to her stinging eyes, surprised to find tears on her face.
Sarah squeezed her eyes closed but she couldn’t shut out the sight of Leah in Levi’s arms. She couldn’t ignore the ache growing in her heart. He cared for someone else.
Leah was a lovely woman and a good match for Levi. Perhaps she was a bit too conservative for him, but none of that mattered if Leah truly cared for him. Did she? Or was she a desperate old maid leading him on so she wouldn’t have to spend the rest of her life alone?
Sarah shook her head to clear her thinking. Such unChristian thoughts didn’t become her. She’d started her matchmaking project to keep her depression at bay and to help Grace, but now she realized what she really wanted was for Levi to be happy.
To love and be loved in return was one of the most beautiful gifts God could bestow on a man and a woman.
Tears came to her eyes again. Grace and Henry would be happy. Levi and Leah would be happy. Everyone would be happy except her. Why had God chosen this life for her?
No, that was wrong. She mustn’t question God’s plan for her. Her life was blessed with her remaining family and good friends. She had her health and a church community that would rally around when she needed it.
She would grow old alone. So what? Many women did. If she wasn’t content, that was something she would pray to overcome. Pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes, she stemmed the flow of tears. It was better for her to live alone than to suffer the constant fear of losing someone dear.
Wasn’t it?
It was the belief she’s clung to for years, the reason she refused to consider remarrying. So why did she question that decision now? Because in one moment of weakness she thought she wanted to be kissed? Such foolishness would pass.
She would do her best to be glad for Levi and Leah and pray that they would have many happy years together.
Chapter Ten
“Good morning, Levi. Isn’t it a lovely Monday morning?”
Levi still didn’t know what he had done to upset Sarah last week, but it seemed that she had forgiven him. He looked out the window. “It is pouring rain.”
“Rain is nice sometimes. I can’t believe Christmas will be here in two weeks. This year has flown by. Are you doing anything special for the holidays?”
At least she wasn’t avoiding him anymore. He said, “The boys and I have been invited to Gideon and Rebecca’s place for dinner next Sunday. I plan to have a quiet Christmas at home. When will your brother and his family arrive?”
“Next Monday evening. They intend to stay here for a few days and then go to visit Emma and her family.”
“You should invite them to Leah’s winter picnic.”
Sarah’s smile vanished for just an instant. When it reappeared, it was brighter than before. “That is a wonderful idea, but I’m not sure they will stay the whole week. Were you able to fix Leah’s axle?”
“She has decided to buy a new buggy instead.”
“Really, I had no idea you were such a good salesman.”
Something in her tone made him look at her closely. “Sarah, are you okay?”
“Of course. Why do you ask?”
“No reason, I guess.”
“You should get to work. I have plenty to do. I made chicken salad sandwiches for lunch and put them in your refrigerator. Where are the boys?”
“Out looking for new jobs.”
“What?” She stared at him in astonishment.
“I had a talk with Bishop Zook. He made some suggestions and I took them. I fired Atlee and Moses. After their stunt with Daniel and Susan’s buggy, I can’t trust them to work here.”
“Wow.”
“I’m sorry if you disapprove.”
“I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m just surprised.”
“Hundreds of people ride in the buggies we make and repair. Many more than that depend on the wheels I’ve sold them. I take the safety of our people seriously. A faulty wheel, a carelessly tightened bolt could kill or maim. I will hire someone new to help me. Ben Lapp is a good boy. I will see if his father can spare him from the farm this winter.”
Her eyes filled with sympathy. “It must have been hard for you to tell the twins they couldn’t work with you. They’re your family.”
“The boys were only two when our parents died. Grace was only six. She became the little mother, but I never became the father. I didn’t believe I had the right to take my father’s place. They lacked discipline because of that. I pray I have not learned my lesson too late for them to become good and wise men.”
She stepped close and laid a hand on his arm. Gazing into his eyes, she said softly, “I am pleased with you, Levi Beachy. If they become good, wise men, it is because they have a good and wise brother.”
He covered her hand with his. “Danki, Sarah. You have made me see the error of my ways with them. They will have you to thank, as well.”
She snatched her hand away and stepped toward the counter, avoiding his gaze. “I can’t believe how quickly this place gets dirty. I must get to work and so must you. I have bread baking in my oven. I’ll be back in a little while if that’s okay with you.”
“Of course.”
She quickly went out the door.
Did his touch repulse her? Her rejection stung, but he called himself a fool for expecting otherwise. At least she wasn’t laughing at him anymore. Her sympathy for his family dilemma was real.
After replacing the axle on Leah’s old buggy, Levi worked at fixing up the inside, tightening the door hinges and adding a new shine to the old leather interior with saddle soap and elbow grease. When he finished, he surveyed his work. He now had a nice used buggy to resell. Maybe to a young couple just starting out who couldn’t afford a new one yet or as a runabout for a grandmother to use. He glanced outside. The rain had stopped.
He went to the front of the shop and found Sarah cleaning. Didn’t she realize she was never going to get this old building spic-and-span? He didn’t like to see her working so hard at something impossible.
He wanted what Jonas had wanted for her. He wanted to see her happy, with her children around her and a man who loved her at her side. Then
and only then, Levi could follow his dream.
His eyes were drawn to his calendar. Instead of the mountains he loved to look upon, a picture of a collie dog with puppies stared back at him.
He rounded on Sarah. “Where’s my calendar?”
She stopped cleaning. “I tossed it on the rubbish heap. It was years out of date. I got you a new one.”
“If I wanted a new one, I would’ve gotten it myself.” He charged past her and out the back door and stopped in disbelief. Not only had she thrown it on the rubbish heap, but she had set the trash on fire. His calendar was charred beyond recognition.
“I’m sorry,” she said from behind him. “I didn’t think it was important.”
It was only a picture. It held no value to anyone except him. The anger drained out of his body. “I wish you had asked, that’s all.”
It wasn’t his dream going up in smoke. It was only a photograph.
“I’m sorry,” she said again. “Why was it so special to you?”
“It was just a pretty place. I liked looking at it.”
“That was where you hoped to live one day, wasn’t it? Oh, Levi, I am sorry.”
“I don’t imagine I’ll ever leave here. It was a pipe dream, nothing more.”
He turned away from the fire. His promise was keeping him here. She was keeping him here. How much longer could he stay? Perhaps it was true that he was never meant to leave. The rain began falling again.
He said, “You should go inside before you catch your death.” Without looking back, he crossed the lot to his house and went inside. The twins sat at the kitchen table with sandwiches piled on their plates.
He opened the refrigerator. There wasn’t any left for him.
He took out the milk carton and poured himself a glass. Moses said, “We haven’t had much luck today.”
“Neither have I,” Levi mumbled and took a seat at the table with them. He downed the milk and wiped his lips. Atlee pushed half a sandwich toward him.
Patricia Davids Christmas Brides of Amish Country: An Amish ChristmasThe Christmas QuiltA Hope Springs Christmas Page 48