by Faith Starr
She directed her attention at me. “I want you to satisfy me with your hand.” Her attention shifted to Frank. “While you’re watching, Master. And I want you to pleasure yourself at the same time.”
“You both are already aware that none of our Doms are permitted to engage in any type of penetration with members. In addition, masturbating in the viewing suite is strictly prohibited. But I’m sure our Doms would be more than happy to pleasure Giselle in other ways.”
Frank shook his head, his face turning slightly red with anger. “Giselle doesn’t want another Dom. She wants you. Therefore, since I’m her Master and my job is to satisfy her needs and desires, I’m requesting your presence in helping me do so.”
Why did I feel like I was being boxed into a corner?
“I’ll agree to engage in one scene with Giselle using props only. There’ll be no kissing and no touching me. That’s all I’m willing to do.”
And even that was too much, my gut urging me not to agree to any of it. I sighed. I would essentially have to remain in the mind-set that business was business. It was a one-time deal, and then I was done for good.
“I thought Hilltops was about fulfilling desires, Noah. You’re disappointing me to no end.”
Too bad. I already agreed to more than I wanted to as it was. He could take it or leave it at this point. He wasn’t getting any more from me.
“Hilltops is about satisfying desires. As a professional courtesy to you, since you’re a longstanding member, I’ll agree to engage in one scene with Giselle. But please keep in mind that the club is not a whorehouse. We do not provide those types of services here. This is a place where people can engage in activities in a safe and private environment where they might not have the opportunity to do so otherwise.”
Giselle raised her head.
“You may speak, Giselle.” Frank nodded at her in acknowledgment.
“I’ll agree to Master Noah’s terms, Master.” She zeroed in on him while speaking.
“Very well, although I’m not pleased with the outcome, Giselle is, and that’s what counts. May Giselle and I sit in the viewing suite?”
And that was it. Problem solved. Why did I feel so bad about the resolution?
“I’ll have to check the schedule first to see what’s going on in there.”
Fuck! This was bad. I mean really bad. The last thing I wanted to do was engage in a scene. I had to speak to my brothers about this shit. I was done fucking around in this place. All I wanted was to handle the books like the original agreement between us had been. I understood that in the beginning I had to be hands-on, literally, until our client base grew, but it had been years and business was thriving.
In all truthfulness, we needed to hire other Doms to engage in scenes with members. Doms who had no issue in doing so, because in a sense, my brothers and I were selling ourselves, and it wasn’t sitting right inside me anymore.
31
Jordin
Which dress should I wear?
I tried on both repeatedly, twirling around in front of the mirror like a proud preschooler wearing her favorite Disney princess dress, to get a better perspective. I just couldn’t choose a winner. They were both so beautiful.
My nerves got the best of me when I thought about meeting Noah’s family but had to keep in mind he wasn’t bringing me to his home for that reason. He was simply bringing me as a guest to a party that happened to be in his home with his family. And, I had nothing to go on. Noah had told me zip about them.
As I tried on the shoes for the umpteenth time, my cell rang. I sprinted to my purse. Rather, I attempted to sprint. My heels kept catching on the Berber carpet.
“Hi, Jordin, it’s Eddie.”
Not again. At least he couldn’t see my disappointment.
“Hey Eddie, what’s going on?” I sat on my bed and slipped off the shoes, putting them back in their box carefully so they wouldn’t scuff. They really were spectacular.
“I was wondering if we could meet up. I need a bit of help again.”
Sure you do.
“I have a yoga class in the morning. How about afterward? I should have about an hour to spare before I need to get ready to go to the clinic.” Call me a glutton for punishment.
“That would be great.”
We arranged a time and place, and then it was back to playing dress-up. I tried both dresses on again, this time snapping a picture of me wearing each. I sent them to Casey to get her feedback. She promptly responded.
Yay! Deep down I had wanted to pick that one. With that decision behind me, I got comfortable on my bed with my tablet.
Before I knew it, it was morning. My tight muscles struggled to move. I yawned and stretched, my iPad falling off my stomach. Guess I had fallen asleep while reading on it. I forced my heavy limbs out of bed and padded to the bathroom. I didn’t feel well rested but knew yoga would invigorate me and help get me through the day easier.
After working up a sweat for an hour and a half, yes, I was definitely a glutton for punishment, I invited Casey to come along with me to what was quickly becoming a weekly tutoring session with Eddie. If I was smart, I would be charging him for my time, but I knew he was in as much debt as I was.
We exited the rec center and began our trek across campus.
“You know he’s only asking you for help because he likes you.”
“So you’ve said, but you really should see the disorganization of his notes. I kind of feel bad for the guy.”
We both waved at someone we knew who walked past us.
“You’re such a sucker. The guy has completed undergrad, grad school, and is finishing up his doctoral degree. You don’t think he knows how to organize himself? Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
“Oh Jordin, you need to face the facts, love, he only wants to get inside your yoga pants.”
“Casey! That’s terrible.” I backslapped her arm.
“Just because you’re from the South, it doesn’t make you blind. Eddie wants you, sweetheart.”
“Well, too bad for him. I’m already spoken for.” I was all too proud about that fact.
“Really? Has Noah asked you not to see anyone else?”
Her openmouthed smile was so enthusiastic. I hated to burst her bubble but had no choice. My frown quickly gave her my answer.
“Unfortunately, no, but you know how I am about stuff like that. One man is enough for me.”
“Yup, what kissing is to you is like what losing one’s virginity is to another.”
My mouth dropped open in response to her comment. “I’m not that bad.”
“Pretty close, love. I’m glad Noah’s loosening you up a bit.”
If she only knew.
We stopped. She had declined my invite to join me and Eddie. Her car was straight ahead in the parking lot, and I needed to make a left turn to go to the on-campus coffee shop.
“You’re rotten.” I teased.
“I’m glad you’re joining me on the dark side. Isn’t it fucking great, literally?”
“I’ll call you later. I have to go.” I giggled at her craziness.
She was something else. She was a free spirit when it came to sharing her bed, of course practicing safe sex, whereas I, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. Not the safe sex part. That we were in agreement on. I mean for me first dates barely even warranted a kiss. But I still loved her just the same, her and her foul mouth.
Eddie sat at a table in the corner with his papers spread out all over the place.
“Eddie, what is this mess?” It looked like a crime scene of paper on the table.
“My notes.” He smiled proudly.
“My gosh, it’s no wonder you’re having so much trouble. Let’s start with putting these papers in proper order.”
The clutter already gave me anxiety. I bundled the papers together and sorted them out, separating them into neat piles according to topic. He sat back in the booth, his arms resting
on top of it, watching me do all the work.
“See, that’s why you’re so good for me.”
“What?” I paused, dropping the papers in my hand on the table.
“We would be great together, like balance one another out. I’m messy, and you’re a neat freak.”
Huh?
He sighed with a slight head nod, eying me warily, waiting for a response. Sorry. He needed to put that shit back inside again.
“Funny. Help me out with this.” I blew off his comment and resumed organizing his notes, handing him a pile so he could get busy. I wasn’t about to do all this by myself.
“What’re your plans for next year?”
“I’d love to intern at the department, how about you?” I kept my eyes focused in front of me on the task at hand.
“I’m not sure yet. I like forensics. I’m trying to nail an internship in that area. You know that Tammy wants the department position too, right?”
“Yes. I’m aware of that.” I nodded, keeping my attention on his notes.
“You’re so much smarter than she is. I heard she’s banging Sloan to get the internship.”
My hands froze, my eyes going to his in surprise. “What? Who told you such a thing?”
“Just a rumor traveling through the grapevine.”
“Who would start a rumor like that?” I played dumb.
“Supposedly a grad student walked in on them during the act.”
Shit. That meant someone else knew too. And if that was the case, I didn’t know how long I could protect Casey from hearing about it.
“Oh my gosh, for real?”
“Yeah, and if it’s true, you better step up your game because he’s part of the committee who makes the final decision about hiring.”
“I would hope he’s more ethical than that, especially in the field we’re in.”
Who was I kidding? I knew what kind of man Dr. Sloan was. Ethical wasn’t even in his vocabulary.
“Come on, Jordin. Be real. If she’s screwing around with him, it’s going to make it very difficult for you to go up against her.” His tone changed gears to one of support.
“I refuse to lower myself to that type of standard. If I deserve the position, I’ll be the one who gets it. It’s that simple.”
“You’re living in a fantasy world. You’re not in the country anymore, sweetheart. Welcome to the real world.” He shook his head, completely disagreeing with my belief system.
Whatever. I shrugged it off like his words meant nothing. I didn’t need his approval. My beliefs were what they were. I still believed people did right by others and didn’t have to cheat their way to get ahead. Hard work would reap its reward. Hopefully, I was right.
“Just food for thought. On a different note, how’s your dissertation about kinky lifestyles coming along?”
Really, he was going here now? “It’s not exactly written in those particular words.”
“Are you learning anything good to try out at home?”
Yup. He certainly was. This entire get-together had left me feeling agitated. Too bad I couldn’t go back to the rec center for more meditation. The feelings of peace I had experienced earlier were now gone, which meant it was time for me to bolt. I had to get ready for work anyway, so it was a perfect excuse.
“Eddie, do you want my help or not? Because if we’re just going to sit here and gossip, then I’m leaving.”
He appeared stunned. Guess he’d never heard my short-fused, bitchy voice.
“Sorry if I offended you. I do want your help. My file already looks better for my committee meeting.”
“You really didn’t need my help this morning. You could’ve easily done this job yourself.” My pissed-off level rapidly escalated, which meant it was time for me to bolt. Like now.
“But I like when you help me. Your southern hospitality is nice to be around.”
Yeah. Yeah. Go fuck yourself, Eddie.
See? I wasn’t living in a fantasy world, nor was I living in the country anymore. I could drop an F-bomb like the rest of ’em. Just not out loud.
“Thanks, but if we’re done, I’m going to head out.” I grabbed my gym bag and scooted out of the booth.
“No coffee?”
“After a yoga class the last thing I need is caffeine.”
“Speaking of which, I like the look.” He raised his eyebrows, giving me a once-over.
Great, I should’ve worn a long sweatshirt over my tank top because now he would check out my ass as I walked out. It was my fault for putting it on display.
“Have a good day at work, Eddie.” I made a beeline for the door.
Once home, I showered, dressed, then headed straight to the clinic. Dr. Symons was about to start the staff meeting when I entered. All eyes turned to me as I closed the door quietly behind me. Stupid Eddie. I hated being late.
“Sorry I’m late.” I slipped noiselessly into a vacant seat at the conference table.
We all took turns discussing our client logs and getting feedback from the rest of the group. The best part about this process was that all the therapists were familiar with all the clients at the center.
When it was my turn to share I discussed my three clients, spending the most time on Karina since her case was the most critical. Even though she was making small gains, I still didn’t feel she was ready to conquer the world on her own just yet. She was far from stable. The group nodded, but some disagreed. My gut told me she wasn’t ready for her three weekly private sessions to be cut down to one. That was too much of a change for a woman who didn’t handle change well.
Sadly, I was outnumbered and would have to inform Karina during our next session about the consensus to cut her sessions down to once a week. I had given my all in trying to persuade them otherwise, but in the end, I was an intern. I had no decision-making power. That being said, Karina didn’t take the news well.
“I tried to convince them, but unfortunately my hands are tied.” Telling her this was extremely difficult for me. I was usually pretty good about setting boundaries and separating myself, but in this specific case I wished I could do more.
“Why can’t you see me on your own time, then? We can meet somewhere else. We work so well together.” Her nerves took over. She began tapping her hands frantically on the armrests of the chair.
“I agree, and I also think that a lot more work needs to be done, but I’m only permitted to see you here at the clinic. I work under the supervision of Dr. Reddy; therefore, I’m not able to treat you elsewhere. But, it’s not like the clinic’s turning you away. Take advantage of the group sessions, one of which I co-facilitate, and we’ll still have our weekly sessions as well.”
“I don’t want to regress. I feel like I’ve made so many gains, and that’s only because of you, Jordin.”
“It’s because of you, Karina. You’ve been open enough to allow change to occur, and it’s happening for you as a result. As long as you continue along this path, you’re headed in the right direction.” Sadly, it was a long path, one that needed a lot more than once-a-week sessions.
“Thanks, Jordin. You’ve been a life changer.”
Every now and then it felt good to know I made a difference, even if only a small one. Karina was one of those times.
By the time Saturday rolled around, my nerves had gotten the best of me. Noah called to confirm the pickup time. Not that I had forgotten. It was all I could think about.
Our conversation was short and sweet, like usual, which I found interesting, because whenever we were together, he was usually a chatterbox.
Julian had offered to help me glam up. I ran next door to his apartment and knocked.
“Hi, darling, are you ready?” Mr. Jolly opened the door wide to allow me to enter.
“Yes.” I stepped inside and rushed over to the table, giddy with anticipation.
He already had all his supplies scattered across it. Julian had lived next door for the past two years, he was a hairdresser. Could I have asked for a bet
ter neighbor?
I held up both dresses to show him, even though I had already made my decision on which one to wear. He loved stuff like this. I’d definitely underestimated his reaction, though, because he just about exploded from excitement.
“These are Zac Posen dresses!” He held on to the chosen one as though it was made of gold.
My eyes squinted in confusion. “Who?”
“Oh Jordin, you’re so sheltered.” He pouted in disappointment. “He’s a famous fashion designer. First of all, I love him because like me, he enjoys the company of men. Sadly, he’s already spoken for. Second of all, like me, he’s Jewish. Ugh, bringing him home would make my mother so proud. And third of all, he was a judge on Project Runway, season eleven. A show I’m sure you don’t watch as I’ve seen your wardrobe, my love. No offense.” He gave me a once-over. It didn’t bother me. Julian was just being Julian, and I loved that about him.
“None taken.”
“And those shoes! Shoot me now. They are Louboutins!” He held his chest and pulled one out of the box. I was laughing by this point. He was so dramatic. “You lucky, lucky girl. You’re killing me. Christian Louboutin is another designer. You must’ve heard of him? All the celebrities and wannabes wear his shoes.”
Maybe I had, but if so, I didn’t give it much thought at the time. Things like that didn’t impress me. Either way, Julian wanted no part of it. His hands went over his mouth in shock. You would think I’d just shown him the world’s most precious gem or something.
“Sorry. I grew up in a small town in the South. My parents were teachers. My indulgences were Old Navy, Hollister, and the occasional Abercrombie.” I couldn’t care less about fashion designers. For me, comfort was key.
“Well, you’re not in Kansas anymore, sweetheart. It’s time to smell the roses. FYI, in case you didn’t know, Louboutins have red soles. All of this must’ve cost that man a fortune. Do me a favor, love, if you don’t want Mr. Dorian, please send him my way.”
Needless to say, Julian agreed to make my hair and makeup look as gorgeous as my Zac Posen dress and Christian Louboutin shoes.