by Faith Starr
Jordin is so much prettier. She has just the right amount of hair.
“Take what I’m giving you but don’t move. If you do, I’ll stop. As long as you remain still, I’ll stroke you harder and faster like this.” I did as I described.
She had done what I asked with excellence and deserved the grand finale. “You may come as you wish, Giselle.” And man did she ever, her body shaking with vigorous movements, her hips bucking off the table with pleasure.
Fuck yes! I was finally finished with my last scene. What a head rush.
Once her body relaxed and her breaths softened, I freed her. I untied her hands and feet and removed the gag from her mouth. The eye covering was last. I gently lifted her up to a seated position, her body like pudding, and placed a robe over her.
When I peered into the viewing room to signal for Frank to come and take care of his sub, I lost both my bearings and my breath. No fucking way. Not again.
Jordin sat next to him, her eyes practically bulging out of their sockets, piercing through me like daggers. It was déjà vu. Everything seemed to be happening so fast. She stood and ran out of the viewing room. Frank glanced in her direction, not giving a shit. He was too proud of his sub to care about anyone else.
I signaled for him to come and get Giselle, my heart beating faster than the wheels on a speeding train. Fuck! I had to get to Jordin.
Of course it felt like a fucking eternity for Frank to relieve me. My body was fueled with adrenaline by the time he entered the room. And after he did, I bolted and hauled my ass up front as quickly as I could, forgetting I was only wearing my jeans. Tasha’s brows went up in astonishment as well as the member she stood with. Fuck. This looked unprofessional on so many levels.
“Excuse me, Tasha. May I please have a moment?” I literally pulled her away from the member, giving him the fakest smile I could muster under the circumstances. “Where’s Jordin?”
She stepped back. “I…I don’t know. I thought she was with you.” Nervous energy possessed her, obviously from sensing my angst. She stuttered, twisting her hands up in front of her.
“What do you mean you thought she was with me? How did she get inside the viewing room?” I was in her face, something I had never done with her before.
Her shoulders slumped and she gave the floor a once-over in shame. “She told me she wanted to surprise you, so I let her go back.” She brought her eyes to meet mine.
“You what?” Please tell me she’s lying. I closed my eyes, putting my hand on my brows, hoping desperately that when I opened them, I would discover all of this was a bad dream. “You let her go back there, knowing I was engaged in a scene? What the fuck, Tasha?” My voice must’ve reached a high level, because the member waiting for her turned toward me, his brow rising in curiosity.
I gestured all was fine.
“I’m so sorry, Noah, I thought she had carte blanche when it came to seeing you in the club.” Her eyes filled up with tears. I didn’t care right now, especially since this was all her doing. All I cared about was finding Jordin.
“This is just fucking great. Has she come back up here?”
“I didn’t notice if she did. I was busy with Mr. Miles. I’m so sorry.” I sensed her sincerity, but that did nothing to help my present situation.
I stormed into my office, slamming the door shut behind me. I grabbed my cell and called Jordin.
Answer the phone, Jordin! Please answer the goddamn phone!
I tapped my hand angrily on my desk, listening as the phone rang and went to voice mail. Again and again. Over and over.
43
Jordin
How could he do this to me? Who was I kidding? What I witnessed was the real Noah Dorian. Not the man who had made love to me. He needed what he’d done to that woman. Maybe that’s the reason why I hadn’t heard from him in days.
My heart ached. It was difficult to see through the windshield because my tears made things appear blurry. My cell rang several times during my drive, but I didn’t answer it. I knew it was him, but I couldn’t speak with him just yet. I was still too full of anger and hurt.
Rationally, I was well aware we had never discussed the boundaries of our relationship. But I guess I assumed that since he had brought me to the cocktail party and to meet his brother, Niles, I had to mean something. Silly me for being so naive.
All I wanted to do once in my apartment was go to sleep. Maybe when I woke up, I would discover that what I had witnessed was a bad dream. Between the teasing of my friends to seeing Noah sexually engaged with someone else, I wished the alcohol from earlier was still in my system.
While riding home in the cab from the sports bar earlier, all I could think about was seeing him. So as soon as I sobered up, I had Julian drop me off at the bar so I could collect my car. But instead of going home, I drove to the club. I wanted to find out why Noah Dorian had been avoiding me. Sadly, I witnessed the reason.
I should’ve left as soon as I saw him standing with that bound girl, or when I noticed the man next to me nonchalantly rubbing his crotch on the outside of his slacks. Yuck. Just thinking about it gave me the willies all over again. A small part of me hoped Noah wouldn’t go through with it. How wrong I was.
A hot shower did nothing to revive my crap mood and low energy level. I put on pajamas and climbed into bed. My body hurt all over, and my eyes burned from crying so much.
Maybe Jimmy Fallon would help distract my thoughts. His show usually made me laugh. But not tonight. Tonight, he didn’t have what it took.
My phone rang several more times as I slipped in and out of sleep, but I refused to answer it. If I was going to suffer, Noah Dorian was going to have to suffer as well.
44
Noah
Pick up your damn phone!
Maybe I should drive over to her apartment?
I can’t. I have to meet with fucking Frank and Giselle.
Unfortunately, that had been part of our arrangement.
Tasha knocked on my door. I was still rehashing the insane situation of Jordin witnessing me and Giselle engaged in a scene in my mind. No matter how many times I opened and closed my eyes, I couldn’t get rid of the image of her watching me or the sorrow I saw in her eyes before she left the room. The pain in my chest was unbearable. When Abby caught me engaged in a scene with a submissive, I didn’t care, probably because it had been my hope. But in this case, it was the complete opposite.
Well, if Jordin wanted a lesson in domination, she certainly got one tonight. Regrettably for me, I was the fucking Dominant.
“Come in!” My tone startled even me. I so wanted to put my fist through a fucking wall.
Tasha entered and moped across my office, stopping in front of my desk. Fear consumed her. She wrapped her arms around herself, biting her lip, and I could swear her hands trembled. This visual made me feel even worse. I would never hurt anyone, and her negative reaction to my mood drove me fucking wild. I had to regain some semblance of control. I had never felt this out of it.
“I’m so sorry, Noah. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.” Tears rolled down her cheeks.
“I know. It’s not your fault. It was all a big misunderstanding.” It wasn’t right to make her feel worse. It was clear she understood she had done wrong. That was punishment enough.
“Have you been able to get in touch with her?” She had hope in her sad eyes.
My chair rocked back and forth. I had to rid my body of all this energy. And I knew damn well yelling at people, slamming doors, and carrying on wasn’t the right way to do it.
“No. She won’t pick up her phone.” My rocking picked up. I leaned forward and rested my hand against my forehead, my elbow on the desk, disgust consuming me at the reoccurring vision of seeing how crushed Jordin had looked because of me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
“I can’t help but feel I’m to blame for this.” Tasha’s voice was hushed.
I couldn’t bear to look at her but knew I had to suck it up an
d deal with it so I could get her out of my office before I threw something across it.
“Everything will be fine. Just next time, please don’t allow any surprise guests into the club without prior consent.”
The pen currently in my hand violently tapped against my desk, my foot doing the same on the floor underneath it.
“I understand. Like I said, I thought Jordin was cleared and didn’t think anything of it. Trust me, it’ll never happen again. I was just getting ready to leave for the night but wanted to apologize again before doing so. Bo’s here if you need anything.”
What I needed was for her to do her job properly. She knew better than to let anyone, even those cleared, inside the club without letting me, my brothers, security personnel, or Bo first. A heads-up about who came in and out of the club was imperative, which was why we had check-in and check-out procedures in place.
“Good night, Tasha.”
She exited my office. Now I needed to calm myself down because I had to go and meet with Frank and Giselle, and I couldn’t do so in my current state of mind.
In the quiet of my office, I took a few deep breaths, calling Jordin one final time before going to meet with them. Just like expected, she didn’t answer. I bit my lip in disappointment, knowing this was just the tip of the iceberg.
Struggling for my legs to work properly so I could get this shit over and done with, I trudged to the aftercare suite, not acknowledging anyone on my way there. It was in both my best interest and theirs for me not to.
“Master Noah.” I wanted to fucking punch the son of a bitch in the face. “Giselle has informed me how pleased she is with how the scene played out earlier. She liked it so much, she wants to schedule another session with you.”
Really? Both of you can go fuck yourselves.
“I’m glad Giselle’s pleased, but as I’ve already informed you, I’m no longer doing scenes with members.” He actually had the nerve to look surprised.
“My submissive enjoyed her experience, Noah. If she’s pleased, then I’m pleased. I don’t like to disappoint her. What’s it going to take to make you agree to continue on with her?”
Sorry buddy, I wasn’t about to fall for his threats again.
“This was a one-time courtesy. I can assure you we’re in the process of hiring new Doms who I’m certain would be more than happy to role-play with Giselle.”
“But Giselle doesn’t want other Dominants. She wants you. And my job is to make her happy.”
He pressed his lips together in annoyance, his tone a bit testy, but right now I didn’t give a fuck, because what I was feeling was ten times worse.
“I understand that, but like I just said, I’m no longer participating in scenes.”
“It disappoints me to hear you say that. Please keep in mind that I have a lot of power in this town, Noah. It wouldn’t be wise to get on my bad side.” He tilted his head to the side, his tone menacing.
Fuck you. I should’ve never agreed to this arrangement to begin with, because now the most important thing to me was gone.
What the fuck was I talking about? I couldn’t let Jordin affect me this way. She was fucking me up. Maybe this fight wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
Who was I kidding?
“Let’s not forget that I too have a lot of power in town, Frank. Let’s not play that card.”
“I’ll play whatever card I want in order to get my point across.”
And so will I.
It was now like a Western standoff, the two of us facing each other, both ready to draw our weapons and shoot.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t be bought.”
“How about the reputation of your club?”
That’s all you’ve got, tough guy?
“How about the numerous women you’ve brought here over the years? Do you think the public would be interested in hearing a story like that?” I’ve got more.
“I would have this place shut down before it ever came to that. You’re legally bound to protect my privacy.”
“And you’re bound to abide by the rules and regulations of the club that are subject to change without prior notice. There’s a new clause in the handbook that clearly states I will no longer be engaging in scenes with members, and pretty soon, neither will my brothers.”
“I guess I’ll have to rethink my membership, then.”
“If that’s what you need to do, I won’t stop you, but these are the new terms. You can choose to accept them and continue using our facilities in the style you’ve grown accustomed to or not. It’s your decision to make.”
“Playing hardball, Mr. Dorian. You’ve got guts. I bring a lot of business your way.”
I took a deep breath to stop myself from popping him in the face. I had to remain professional. “Let’s stop with the threats, Frank. I’ll be happy to assist Giselle in any way possible to make her experiences here at the club both memorable and enjoyable, but I won’t participate in those experiences. I think we can work together to come up with some positive alternatives.”
He regarded Giselle who sat quietly on the couch, visibly eager to say something. He acknowledged her with a head nod. “You may speak, Giselle.”
“I enjoy playing at the club. And though I’m disappointed I won’t get another experience like I had tonight, I would like to work with Master Noah on finding a replacement even though his will be hard shoes to fill.” Her head might’ve been facing him, but her gaze was on me.
“I did not permit you to look at Master Noah like that.” She bowed her head. “That’s going to cost you, my dear girl. We’ll discuss your punishment when we’re alone.” He again directed his attention at me. “I think we’ve taken enough of your time.” He rubbed his nose in displeasure, sighing loudly.
“I feel confident we’ll work this out, Frank.” I acknowledged him.
“We better.”
Enough with the fucking threats already. I had way more on him than he could ever use on me. Satisfied with that knowledge, I exited the room, leaving him to punish Giselle in whatever way he saw fit.
On my way up front, I strolled through the dungeon to check on things, feeling a lot better coming out of the suite than I had walking in. Derek stood in his usual corner.
“How was your scene?”
“It would’ve been better if Jordin hadn’t watched it.”
“What?” His mouth opened in complete horror.
“You heard me. She showed up unexpectedly and told Tasha she wanted to surprise me. So fucking Tasha permitted her to enter without giving me prior notice.” I rubbed my brow, still trying to comprehend how she’d done something so fucking stupid.
“Oh shit. How did Jordin react?”
“How do you think she reacted? I didn’t see her until the scene was finished or else I would’ve stopped it. She bolted, and now she won’t answer my calls.”
“Fuck.”
“Fuck is right. How can she be mad at me anyway? She knows what kind of business we’re in.” Maybe if I rationalized it, it wouldn’t seem so bad.
“That’s your logic talking. Not your emotions.”
Great, was everyone in my life a fucking therapist now? I already knew what had gone down tonight was bad. I didn’t need it reinforced.
“I’m done playing, man. And afterward, dumbass Frank tried to threaten me to continue doing scenes with Giselle. That meeting ended with me telling him we would give her one of the new guys we’re hiring. He didn’t like it, but Giselle agreed.”
“Speaking of which, the guy over there with the paddle is Anthony. He’s the new Dom we asked to come in tonight to do a working interview. He’s doing an excellent job so far.”
“It’s good to hear some good news.” I glanced over at the guy, too consumed with myself at the moment to really pay him any mind.
“Give her time. I’m sure it was just a shock for her, that’s all.”
“No. She’s different, D. She’s not like Abby, or the others here. Jordin’s a bring-home t
ype of girl.” I watched Anthony, hoping he would distract me from the hot lava I currently stood in.
“Wow. I never thought I’d hear those words come out of your mouth.”
“Me neither, so please don’t repeat them. I’m going to call it a night.” I couldn’t stay around here any longer. I craved the quiet of my apartment so I could deal with this shit in solitude. “If you think Anthony has what it takes, go ahead and have him come in tomorrow to discuss the specifics in more detail.”
“Will do. We were just finishing up in here anyway. See you tomorrow.”
A slight wave of acknowledgment and off I went.
45
Jordin
The following morning, I woke up feeling no better. It was crazy. I didn’t think it was possible for my heart to be in this much pain, especially after such a short amount of time. It’s not like Noah and I had been together for years or anything, yet this hurt so much worse than when I broke up with Studious Sam.
The debate going on in my mind was whether to give Noah the opportunity to explain himself. But in reality, was it fair to even ask him to? I mean, it’s not like we ever discussed being in a committed relationship. Therefore, in all fairness to him, he really didn’t owe me a thing. This situation sucked, big-time.
It took all the strength I had to drag my depressed butt out of bed, but nature called, loudly I must add, so I didn’t have a choice. Fluids seemed to be flowing from everywhere, tears from my eyes, urine from down below.
Holy crap! My reflection would scare a ghost. I most definitely wasn’t the fairest of them all this morning. My eyes were puffy, my hair was all over the place, and the sunshine that usually lit up my face was instead covered with darkness. I didn’t know how I was going to get through the day. I had no desire to go to yoga, but I couldn’t just sit around and mope. I had to go to work and visit the university later. Hopefully some meditation would help change my current frame of mind. Something had to.