by Faith Starr
“Listen up, you little bitch, my daughter and wife better not find out about this, or your career is finished before it even begins. Are we clear?”
“No. We’re not clear. And how dare you speak to me in a threatening tone. I’m not one of your little whores. As far as the club goes, I’m not permitted to say anything, but what I saw in here? I think we’re now on a level playing field. Why don’t you keep that in mind when you’re making your decision about who to hire for the internship? I would hope you’d be fair and choose the more qualified candidate, but I somehow doubt you’re the ethical man you portray here on campus. Are we clear?”
Bam! I trembled from the adrenaline rush, but I wasn’t about to back down. I now had him in a corner, right where I wanted him.
“Big words. I think you’ve been spending too much time at the club with the Dorians. Don’t fuck with me if you know what’s good for you.”
“And I think you should stop fucking around if you know what’s good for you.”
The two of us were at a stalemate, neither one of us about to let the other have the last word. But I had already declared myself the winner and would walk out of his office feeling proud, wearing a smile on my face.
“Hey, what’s taking so long?” Shit. “Oh hi, Dad, I thought you were in class. I asked Jordin to grab my binder for me. I hope you don’t mind that I gave her the key?”
“It was no problem at all, Casey. I was just telling her how proud I am of all her hard work.” He eyed me, a bit of devil shining through.
“Of course you were, Dad. You always do.”
Dr. Sloan was such an ass. It was no wonder Casey had self-doubt. Who wouldn’t with a father like him?
“Here’s your binder, Casey. Are you ready to go?” I didn’t mean to jump at her. I just couldn’t stay in this office another minute longer. I shoved it into her hands along with her keys and stormed out into the hallway, catching my breath once there.
Wow. I closed my eyes and rubbed my brow. That was crazy intense.
“I’ll see you later, Dad.”
“Bye, sweetheart.”
Casey came out to find me leaning against the wall. She raised her brows suspiciously at my odd behavior. I gave her the best smile I could under the circumstances.
56
Noah
“It’s so good to have all my boys here with me.” Uncle Phil sat at the head of the conference table.
My hands were crossed on top of it in front of me, Derek to my left and Mitch to my right. All the other bigwigs scattered around it.
The transition process had officially begun. I would now be handling a bigger load in financials whereas Derek would be temporarily overseeing one of the editorial departments that had recently hit a few speed bumps. Mitch was going to float between the two of us so he would have the know-how if need be, but Uncle Phil agreed he would primarily run the club.
We’d been holed up in the conference room for hours. It was dark when we left, and we drove straight to the club.
“How’s Anthony working out?”
Derek nodded approvingly. “So far so good.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Tonight Trevor will be doing a working interview, right?” I locked the front door behind us.
Mitch glanced down at his new watch. “Yeah, he’s coming in at eight.”
“Good. There’s no way we can work all day at the office and then come here and work all night. We need to get these guys trained and ready.”
They followed me into my office where I sat behind my desk.
“We will. It’ll just take some time. Mitch and I are currently rotating shifts. You continue to focus on the business. That’s where the money is.”
“If members aren’t happy, there’ll be no money for me to focus on. All of us play a key role in the operation of the club.” I brought my computer to life and checked out the schedule for the evening.
“I think I’ll go upstairs and work out before I need to be down here again. Do either of you want to join me?”
Mitch tore his eyes away from his phone long enough to answer Derek before focusing his attention back on it. “I’m game.”
Derek stood tall and stretched. “I’m meeting up with Watson in a half hour since I was busy all day.” A smile crept across his face.
“Have you guys played good cop, bad cop yet?” Mitch chuckled, his attention again diverted away from his phone.
“She can be very bad in a very good way.” Derek’s smile grew wider.
Gross. I hated when he cracked his neck like that. I cringed. It gave me the creeps.
“I’m sure she’s getting versed in all aspects of BDSM.” I put my computer to sleep and stood, taking a stretch as well. I had a small kink in my neck from sitting in one place all day. I wasn’t about to ask my brothers to work it out for me.
“I haven’t heard any complaints from her.” Derek smirked.
“Wait a minute. I was kidding around. Am I missing something?” Mitch’s brows went down in confusion as he too rose and slipped his phone into his pocket.
“Why don’t you ask Derek?” I walked around to where they both stood.
“We spent the night in my apartment.”
“No shit? Lucky guy, she’s hot.” He patted him on the back, to which Derek smiled pompously at his accomplishment.
“She’s even hotter naked.” His brows took a quick hike north.
“Son of a bitch.”
“I’ll meet you guys in the gym. I’m going upstairs to change.”
I left them to talk shop. I tilted my head from side to side and rubbed my shoulder. Hopefully a good workout would make my neck feel better.
“I take it things worked out well with Jordin last night?” Mitch huffed, jogging next to me at a steady pace on the treadmill.
“Everything’s good.” I panted as well.
“What’s the story between you two?” He pressed the Incline button and picked up his pace even more. Show off.
“There is no story.” I entered the cool-down phase. Wow. I was wiped. I took a drink from my water bottle and set it back in the cup holder.
“Come off it. This past week you acted like a major dick to everyone. Now you’re back to your usual dick status.”
“Funny.” The good news was my neck didn’t ache as much when I turned my head from side to side.
“I’m being serious. You usually don’t get affected by women. Rather, you affect them, they fall in love with you, you ditch them, the end.”
“I’m not affected by Jordin.” I grabbed my towel and dried off. I hated lying to Mitch but for whatever stupid reason, I was trying to hold on to the false belief that if I kept denying my feelings for her to others, I would somehow feel less for her than I already did.
“Okay, bro, whatever you say.” He again increased his speed. Impressive.
“I wonder which member the cops are investigating.”
Fuck. I hated doing biceps curls even though my biceps loved them. Had to admit, they looked pretty good. At least the mirror in front of me thought so.
“Nice change of subject. I’ve been thinking about that myself. I just can’t figure out who it could be. None of our members send a red flag my way. Not that some of them aren’t douchebags, but still.”
“I know. Whatever this guy’s involved in, we certainly don’t need it going on in the club.” Fuck. For whatever reason, I wasn’t at my best, the weights I usually used feeling extremely heavy.
“I agree. I’m keeping my eyes wide open.”
The loud noise from Mitch’s machine startled me. I snapped my head in his direction, luckily not hurting my neck again in the process. He had pressed the Decline button.
“We need to. We don’t need bad publicity. We’ve worked too hard to keep the slate clean. As long as the guilty party gets caught and things remain quiet on the home front, then I’m game with assisting the cops.” Man. What the hell was going on with me today? I sat on the bench to take a breather.
/> “Amen to that.”
After our gym routine, I got dressed for work, again. I was grateful time passed quickly downstairs, because I felt tired. The rooms were fully booked, and the action in the dungeon was wrapping up. I took a walk around to find Derek, ready to call it a night. Interestingly, I caught a glimpse of Jordin’s professor with a pretty young blonde exiting the fantasy suite area.
“Noah, how’re you doing on this fine evening?” The dirt bag smiled proudly, the two of us face-to-face.
“I’m doing great. Did you enjoy yourself tonight?”
“I always enjoy myself at the club, and I want to keep it that way.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“Excuse me, doll.” The young bimbo held on to his arm. “Why don’t you go ahead and wait up front for me in the lobby?” After a quick pout, she obliged and left us alone.
“I just wanted to make sure Jordin Turner is respecting her boundaries here at the club. I understand she’s here to do research, but if she acts inappropriately in any way, I would like you to let me know. I understand you’re mentoring her, but I want to make sure she’s keeping things professional. She’s applying for an internship in my department at the university and morality is a primary concern of ours.”
Excuse me? I didn’t try to hide the disgust on my face. “Jordin Turner’s a highly respectable woman. I don’t think you have anything to worry about in regard to her professionalism. She’s extremely intelligent, and I’m sure she’ll succeed in whatever she chooses to do.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I would just hate for her to miss out on the opportunity to work for the department if she’s partaking in activities here at the club when she’s supposed to be gathering research.”
Don’t even go there, asswipe. My hands balled up into fists. I took a deep breath to take things down a notch. “Just as your private time is your own, Jordin’s is as well. And what she chooses to do with hers is really none of your business. Nor should it have any impact on her being considered for the position. Her qualifications and performance at both the university and the clinic should speak for themselves.”
His eyes opened wide, taken aback. “Watch your mouth, Dorian.”
“You better watch yours, Sloan. I don’t like where this conversation is headed. Jordin Turner’s a hard worker, and you, of all people, should know that. Stop trying to cover your ass, because you’ll only come up empty-handed when it comes to Ms. Turner.”
“Hmm, it looks like this conversation is a bit too late. It seems you’ve already taken your mentorship to the next level.”
“The only thing you need to worry yourself with when you’re here in my club is what fantasy you’re going to live out with the female of your choosing. You pay your dues, you get to enjoy the facilities. That’s all there is to it. Don’t talk to me like you know anything about me. Have a pleasant evening.”
Seeing Claude standing nearby was all the assurance I needed, because if Sloan had one iota of a thought that the hand he raised was gonna come anywhere near me, he had another thing coming. Fuckwad.
Smart man. He placed it in his pocket and left for the lobby.
I nodded in thanks to Claude. The guy was built like The Rock.
This Sloan character irked me. I didn’t trust him. I was great at keeping my eyes closed and separating myself when it came to members and their multiple infidelities. They happened all the time. But this dick had my eyes wide open. He was trying to screw around with Jordin’s character, which meant I could no longer stand passively on the sidelines without getting involved.
57
Jordin
Noah called to invite me to attend a dinner with him on Sunday night. His uncle was hosting a get-together for some of the big shots from Dorian Publishing. He informed me that Mitch and Darla would be attending along with Derek and a female acquaintance. As long as it wasn’t that bitch, Sydney, I was game.
Our relationship, if one could call it that, was unpredictable. In fact, he was unpredictable. When he took me out, it was like we had been together for years. I felt comfortable in his presence and secure with his feelings about me. But when I wasn’t with him, I had no clue if he even thought about me. He was such a mystery.
The bottom line was I wanted more, some type of assurance as to his intentions. Confirmation that I wasn’t just a puzzle he was trying to solve and once completed, I would be framed and hung on a wall with the rest of his conquests. I also needed to hear his voice more often. Once or twice a week wasn’t cutting it anymore. I wanted to hear about his days at the office and his nights at the club. I wanted to spend the night with him and wake up in his arms. I just wanted more, and I didn’t know if he wanted the same. And if he did, how much more would he be capable of giving me?
He kept a part of himself closed off whereas I trusted him with my body and by doing so, trusted him with my heart, a heart that had already been broken once and didn’t want a replay. It was still fragile, still filled with pain and insecurity from the first time.
Studious Sam had done a number on me. During my high school years, I was conservative, a lot more than I was today. Growing up in a small southern town, I went to mass on Sundays and did community service weekly. Since both of my parents were teachers, they knew most of the families in town. They were respected and loved by most. They were honest, hard-working people. Being that my surroundings were so familiar, I found it kind of incestuous to get involved with any of the local boys. Therefore, I didn’t experience my first kiss until I entered college. Kind of pathetic, but that’s how it was.
Sam was gorgeous. At least I’d thought so then. He was an accounting major and overly analytical, especially of me. When I began my undergraduate studies, I wouldn’t say I was a Skinny Minnie or anything, but I wasn’t heavy either. Being away from home for the first time created a bit of stress, especially living in a big city with new people from all over the country. Needless to say, I gained the freshman fifteen, possibly twenty.
Sam would make me aware of everything I put into my mouth, and the result was that I began to feel self-conscious about my body. This was ironic since for the most part, I had always been comfortable in my skin. My upbringing was one surrounded by messages of love. My parents preached that I should love with my heart and find it in others, and that our outsides didn’t matter for they were merely the shells God had blessed us with, some receiving a better gig than others.
Sam’s constant preoccupation with my eating habits only caused me to eat more out of anger and resentment. He wasn’t only critical of my physique but with my skills in the bedroom as well. Looking back, the person he should’ve been critiquing in that area was himself, especially since he had been my one and only.
It blew me away that I had accepted such emotionally abusive behavior from a man. To this day I wasn’t sure if I held on to Sam for as long as I did because of comfort and security or because I loved him. But how could I love someone who only wanted to change me? The worst part was that I stayed with the jerk for almost two and half long years.
As he approached the completion of his graduate program, he spoke with me about joining him up north. That’s where he had secured a job. I still had several years left of my doctoral program so leaving wasn’t an option for me. I wasn’t about to quit in the middle of it.
It was during that time when I walked in on him screwing one of his female neighbors. It was so unexpected. I never saw any signs to indicate he was cheating on me. Yet, after the fact, they became as clear as day.
He tried to phone me repeatedly after my discovery and came to my dorm room several times to apologize, but there was nothing for me to discuss with him. I may have put up with his incessant insults, but cheating was where I drew the line.
Little did I know that when I slammed the door in his face that last time and told him to never contact me again, I had also closed the door on my heart. It took me years to get over him. Sure, the pain lessened with time, but I had to rebuild
the confidence that had once filled me, which took a lot of hard work and perseverance.
The positive outcome from that failed relationship was that it helped me to become a better psychologist, because I now understood how easy it was to be affected by another person’s words and behaviors and suffer emotionally as a result of it.
Interestingly enough, when I was with Noah and his dominant and controlling ways, behaviors I once thought belittled women, I felt like a princess. Please explain that to me. Maybe my journey with Sam and working with abused women were what had led me to Hilltops, which in turn had led me to Noah Dorian.
58
Noah
I told Jordin to wear the other dress I had purchased for her to the dinner since it was being held at a private country club.
Derek was bringing Watson since Sidney was out of the picture for the time being. I had to admit that after witnessing a few of their scenes, Watson was in fact a quick study. One would’ve never guessed that the foul-mouthed and controlling beauty queen was a natural submissive.
The following week she would make her grand entrance to the club as a new member. I respected her dedication to her job. She was open to Derek’s teachings, never once arguing or giving him any slack. She was also extremely tight-lipped and professional, not even talking to Derek about the investigation.
At seven-thirty sharp, I picked Jordin up at her place. I hadn’t seen her in days, and already missed her. Crazy, but my palms sweated, and my heart raced during the elevator ride up to her floor.
When I knocked on her door, the thought of Sheldon Cooper flashed through my mind and caused me to smile. Say her name three times and knock. Go ahead. Do it. I refrained.