"But we can't figure out why you had him," Lea added.
The silence after demanded a response, even though they hadn't asked a direct question.
"The day Eli was arrested, I was outside the coffeeshop. He had been trying to make Coop sit for a treat when the cops showed up. They took him away. And Coop started freaking out. I, well, I figured he was too ugly to end up in the pound. So I took him home with me."
"You've had him this whole time?" Scotti clarified.
"Yeah. Me and my sister work opposite shifts a lot of the time, so he always has someone around."
"So he's with her now," Lea concluded.
"No, ah, he's with..." Shit. I didn't want to give anything about Eli away when he was so determined to cut off ties with his family. I already felt like I had said too much.
"He's with Eli," Lea finished for me. "Shane saw Coop that night, but he also saw you and Eli. As in, together."
Ugh.
There was literally no way out of this situation.
And I had no clue how Eli would have wanted me to maneuver it.
"We're not here to make you uncomfortable," Dusty said, holding up her hands, looking apologetic. "You just have to understand that we need to know that he's okay. Everyone has been sick for years."
I imagined that was true.
And my heart truly did go out to them.
But my loyalty needed to be with Eli.
"Look," Fee said, voice more serious than I had ever heard it before. When I did look, her eyes were full of feeling. "Hunt came home yesterday to tell me he had seen Eli. He had confronted him. You know what Eli told him to tell my girls?"
"No." But I knew it wasn't good.
"That he was dead," she said, swallowing hard. "He said it was true enough."
That hurt.
It felt like a knife in the gut.
Because I knew he did feel that way.
"Autumn," she said, voice even more grave. And when I looked up, her lip was trembling. "I've seen my husband tear up exactly three times in our entire time together. The first time we found out we were having a baby, the day he realized Eli was going away, and last night when he told me his brother said he was as good as dead. Now, I know you don't know these Mallick men, but they are not the kind of men who cry. Not even one glistening tear. So seeing my man like that, yeah, it was the push I needed to way overstep my bounds and come in here to talk to you."
Even as she finished speaking she had to reach up and swipe a tear away, shaking her head, and blinking hard, trying to get it together.
I would have to be made of stone not to have my heart go out to her right then. My heart ached in my chest for the pain they must have been feeling, the loss their family must have endured. It wasn't just Eli who had done time; they had done time in their own way as well.
"Eli had a rough afternoon yesterday too," I admitted, the act of sitting down all day reminding me with a small sting.
"See!" Scotti said, shoving her hip into Fee's. "I told you it was an act."
"I don't think it's an act," I corrected before I thought better of it. But then all their eyes were on me and pleading for more. "Eli is terrified that any links to his old life will make him rage-out again. He doesn't want that. So he tries to disconnect. Key word there being try. It's not an act. He's not pretending. He is putting every ounce of energy he has to attempt to kill the man you all once knew."
"Poor Eli," Dusty said in a sad whisper, looking down at her feet. Likely, just as Fee was, struggling to keep composure.
"The part that pisses me off about this," Lea exploded suddenly, like she wasn't able to hold it in anymore, "is that he did nothing wrong! He defended a woman getting her ass handed to her. I know what it is like to have a man bully you. I know that helplessness. I know she saw him as a fucking hero when he stepped in where no one else in her life ever had. He should never have gone away for this."
That was sadly true.
"And then he wouldn't have been sitting in a cell feeling like a shitty person, feeling like he couldn't lean on us, couldn't even speak to us anymore, that he had to be someone else. Who he was before was, ugh," Lea trailed off, turning suddenly, and taking a few steps away. Her hands rose though, pressing into her eyes.
Even just seeing these women struggling for composure was starting to make me lose mine. The sting started at the backs of my eyes, and I had to slow-blink and take deep breaths to keep from crying myself.
I didn't come from a family that loved so deeply. I mean, Peyton and I did as we grew up and grew close, but the rest of our family was just as happy without us.
What an amazing thing it must have been to be loved that deeply by so many different people.
How badly must he have seen himself to push that away?
Poor Eli. Dusty was right about that.
"Look, I get your loyalty is torn here," Scotti said, the only one who was still holding it together. "We're not asking you for his address or contact information. That's not fair," she said, giving Lea a hard look, like maybe Lea had been down with trying to force information out of me.
"Why are you here then?"
"Is he okay?" Dusty asked before anyone else could speak up.
There was no way to answer that without giving them at least a little bit of the truth. "He's... okay. He's adjusting still. It's only been a couple of days."
I could practically feel them say It's been six years.
"We're actually here with a request," Fee said, taking a deep breath before she launched into it. "Helen, Eli's mom, has had a really, really hard time every holiday. It seems to get worse as each year goes by."
I knew where this was going.
Because Thanksgiving was coming up.
"Fee, I..."
"You would be giving a mother her son back," she cut me off, eyes going glassy again. "I'm not sure if I can express just how huge that is. What it would mean to her."
"Fee, we just barely started..."
"But you're all we have," she rushed to stop me. "Even if you're new, you're the only link we have to him. We are begging you, Autumn - and I am not the kind of woman to beg - please, see if you can convince him to come."
God, was there any way to say no? I mean, I wouldn't push Eli; that wasn't my place. I could, however, drop hints, make suggestions, reassure him that he didn't need to kill his old self and start anew. Hell, this morning alone, I had seen sides of Eli that I didn't know existed before. Maybe, the longer he was out, the more he could shake the persona he had needed to wield in prison.
Two weeks wasn't long, though.
He had spent six years creating this mindset.
I didn't have a huge ton of hope that I could undo all that work.
"I can't make any promises..."
"We would never ask for them," Dusty assured me.
"And we aren't telling Helen or Charlie or even our men," Fee told me. "This is just between us girls. So if he doesn't show, the only one who will even know to be disappointed is us. And, please, feel free to come too! Bring your sister. We don't care. We will squeeze closer at the table. Oh and Coop. You know, whatever it might take. Trust me, if you can get him there, Helen will be kissing your feet."
Nothing like a little pressure.
The happiness of an entire damn family on your shoulders.
And here I had been excited all day over something as simple as a date with the man I had been sleeping with.
What a strange turn of events in the course of one day.
"If, and this is a huge if," I said, making sure they knew I didn't have a lot of faith in myself with this task, "I can make it happen, I need a time."
"Dinner is at four, but everyone starts filing in around noon. But I mean, whenever you can get him there," Scotti said.
"I'll try," I said, shrugging, hearing defeat in my voice.
"I know this is putting you in a bad position," Dusty said, voice soft. "We don't want to mess up your new relationship with Eli. I think having
you - even if he doesn't have us or want us - is a good thing. If he lost you on top of all of us, I worry about what would go on in his mind."
"I would worry about that too," I agreed.
"So, what we're saying is," Lea cut in, "push, but don't push him away. Because at least we know he has some roots if he has you, someone to talk to, someone to give a shit about him. That's important. He needs some soft after so many years of hard."
"He really does."
"We hope we see you on Thanksgiving," Dusty said, moving back a step, obviously trying to guide the other women to leave. "But we will understand if you can't move mountains."
"Thank you, Autumn," Fee said, giving me a serious nod. Then, shaking off her heaviness, the normal Fee I was used to came shining through. "The Wand is fucking amazing, by the way," she said as she backed toward the door.
"That's why it is a bestseller," I agreed as they opened the door, and stepped outside.
With that, they were gone, and I was alone with my thoughts.
They swirled so fast that I had to sit down, cradling my head in my hands, trying to make sense of it all.
On one hand, yes. I so wanted to be the savior to their little family. I wanted to give Eli back to them. And I wanted to give them back to Eli. They needed one another. He might not have been able to acknowledge it himself, but it was eating him alive to stay away, especially since they were in the same town.
His interaction with Hunt, and the aftermath, showed me just how much it was hurting him. He needed to reconnect.
That being said, I didn't wear the white hat. I was nobody's hero.
And I was holding a whole family's disappointment on my shoulders if I didn't pull through.
On the other hand, I didn't want to rock the boat. Things were going in a somewhat unexpected direction with Eli. I wanted it to keep doing that. I wanted him to keep opening up to me, showing his sweeter, softer side. I wanted him to trust me.
How could I expect him to trust me when I was going behind his back?
On a groan, no less confused than I was twenty minutes before, I reached under the counter for my cell, dialing up my sister.
"This better be good. They're DP'ing her right now and it is hot as shit."
One second. That was all I needed with my sister to help lift some of the weight.
I launched into it, talking in circles, words tripping over one another to get out first.
"So don't," she said simply after listening silently for about half an hour.
"Don't what?"
"Don't go behind his back," she clarified.
"But, what..."
"Look, I know you feel bad for them. Anyone would. But your loyalty lies with Eli. And, yes, I think we all can agree he needs his family back, it is not your place to push him into that. That is his decision. And if he ever finds out you did that, you and him are over. Now, I know you're going to deny this and say I'm crazy or what the fuck ever, but I know you, Autumn. You have feelings for him."
"I barely--"
"You've been mooning over him for five years. Don't pull that 'I barely know him' shit. You know him better than that last dude I had a two-week fling with."
"Angelo No-Last-Name," I recalled. He had a last name, but he and Peyton were too busy getting it on to share that kind of information.
"Exactly. You know his last name. You know where he lives. You know he's an artist. You know what movies, books, music, and food he likes. You know he fucks you like there's no tomorrow. You know more than enough to have feelings. And, dare I say it, be already half in love with him. Don't," she said before I could even get a noise out, "even try to deny it. We both know it is true. What I am saying is, you don't fuck around and ruin that because a bunch of women showed up and went all teary-eyed on you. I know, I know, I'm a heartless monster," she went on, and I could practically hear the eye-roll she was doing. "But he matters more. His feelings need to matter more. And his choices need to be his own, not manipulated by you and some women he has made it clear he doesn't want in his life. Even if," she cut me off when I went to speak, "we both know he does want them in his life."
My sister, for all her crazy, for all her over-the-topness, for all her devotion to a more alternative lifestyle, was also one of the wisest people I knew. Sure, she sometimes went about imparting her wisdom in odd ways, at times referencing godawful, cheesy, campy horror movies with a negative Rotten Tomato rating. But she was almost always right.
"So what am I supposed to do? Show up and say, 'Hey, your sisters-in-law ambushed me and begged me to get you to come to Thanksgiving, so your mother doesn't cry for the umpteenth holiday in a row?' I mean... that is going to go over like a bomb."
"You come home a little early from work. Get your scrub and shave on. Do your hair and makeup. Slip into something sexy. Then you go to dinner with him. And then come home. Where you fuck his brains out. Then you bring it up. You gotta have this conversation when his guards are down. And the only time men let their guards down completely is when they are freshly fucked."
"You're not wrong," I agreed, though I didn't like the idea of sexual manipulation.
And, because she was who she was, she knew this. "You're not tricking him, Autumn. You're just getting him relaxed and a bit less likely to fly off the handle. Oh, but maybe stick a paddle in your bag in case he does fly off the handle. Okay, I have a girl to get back to who is getting plowed like nobody's business and completely unaware that her throat is going to get slit as soon as the guy comes in her. Bye!"
I snorted as I hung up the phone, realizing it was really the only card I had to play.
I didn't want to bring that kind of thing up at a restaurant. Especially if there was any chance that he might rage out again. I didn't want him in that awkward of a situation. I didn't want him to storm out, leaving me to have to deal with the bill, then finding my own way home from God-knew-where. And where did that leave him? Losing his mind in a rage with no outlet?
No.
That couldn't happen.
And the same logic went for before the date. He would likely storm off and go who-knew-where.
Peyton was right; the best time to tell him was when he was freshly fucked, completely naked, and unable to jump up and storm out before I could try to stop him.
So I did what she said.
I closed early.
I went home and spent well over an hour on getting myself together. I slipped into a black dress that was just shy of slutty and a pair of spiked heels. My back, and the cut of the dress, didn't allow for a bra, but I picked out a special pair of panties that was black lace over my butt cheeks, but cut off at the highest point where it met a silky bow that attached to a thick satin waistband.
They were exactly made for sexual manipulation.
So I guess I was dressing for the task.
Eli had texted me an hour before I closed up, saying he would bring Coop back to my place and we could leave from there.
So I was nervously shifting my feet when there was a knock - and a scratch - at the door.
Peyton jumped up, mermaid hair all in a loose, messy bun on her head, legs in leggings covered in blood splatter and crime scene tape and a black tank top. Effortless, quirky, and still ridiculously pretty.
Some day a man would see that about her too.
"What are your intentions with my daughter?" she asked in a dead-on imitation of our father, arm stretched out to block his entrance as Coop barreled in to take her seat on the couch, resting his head on her book.
"I plan to ravish her completely," Eli said, tone deadly serious.
"Son!" Peyton declared, throwing open the door, and her arms like she was about to embrace him. She dropped her hands at the last second, moving out of the way. "She's over there looking like sex on a stick," she informed him as she walked away. "I think the 'lick' comment doesn't need to be uttered. Get your head off my book," she told Coop as she took it from under him. "Looking all innocent when we all know you're just waitin
g for me to glance away so you can eat it, you butthead."
"Sweetheart," Eli said, close, too close, making me realize I had been focusing on Peyton, and hadn't seen him cross the room toward me.
He looked good, too.
The Mallick men, well, they apparently cleaned up nice.
He had on black slacks and a matte black dress shirt, no tie, nice shoes, an expensive silver watch, and a matching belt buckle.
Hot.
Was there anything hotter than a man who knew how to dress?
"Hey," I said, giving him a smile.
"You look beautiful," he told me as soon as my eyes found his, making my belly do an altogether too delicious flip-flop.
"Thank you. You--"
"Look like her ride later. We get it," Peyton said from behind her book. "You are both sexy beasts who will be doing it soon. Coop can not stand Mommy and Daddy being all gross in front of him," she informed us, making us both smile before Eli leaned in to give me a quick kiss.
"We should get going," he agreed, reaching down to take my hand, and lead me to the door.
All I could think for the drive two towns over was God I hope I don't screw this up. Please don't let me screw this up.
Eli pulled up and led me into an upscale sushi restaurant I had heard amazing things about, but couldn't quite bring myself to go to since I could get decent enough rolls closer to home for a third the price.
There was a bit of awkwardness as I tried to relax, tried to be in the moment and enjoy a date I had been so looking forward to. By the time I had a glass of wine in my hand, though, things had seemed to fall into an easy rhythm, talking about the restaurant, then others, then just life and futures and hopes and all that.
And he wasn't post-prison-Eli. He was just Eli - sweet, open, joking, easy with a smile, interesting.
The guards, for those two hours, were completely gone.
And as we got in his car and drove back to my place, there was no way to stop the swirling discomfort in my stomach, the way my body was tense.
"Autumn," Eli said as we stopped outside my door so I could fish out my key, his hand at my lower back. When I looked up, his brows were drawn together. "What's the matter?"
Eli (Mallick Brothers Book 4) Page 15