by Annie Boone
Besides her sisters, who had listened to her stories from the time she began writing them, her schoolchildren were now an outlet for her as well. She strived to write stories they would love. The eager children made an amazing audience. She could always tell if what she’d written was good by the way they reacted when she read to them. She used her writing as a way to teach her students about history and life as well as to entertain them.
The role she was about to fill for a man who wanted a wife and needed a step-mother for his children was something she was looking forward to. A ready-made family had never been on her wish list, but she was hoping that all would be well with this transition. For the children, for Aaron, and for herself.
She knew that Aaron Chapman was a successful businessman. She was happy about that. She didn’t want to be a free loader, but she was hoping to not have to struggle financially. Her teaching job paid next to nothing, and she was tired of worrying about money. God had always provided for her and her family, but she did have times where the burden seemed too heavy to bear. Maybe those days were behind her.
Faith had done her research and while she was not blind to the risks that she was taking, she felt that the benefits were far outweighed the potential problems. This way, she was actually getting what she wanted, instead of just getting what her family thought he needed. That was a big deal to her. She wanted to have some kind of assurance and she wanted a man to take care of her as well.
Faith was a pretty girl, though she was unaware of that fact. She’d never dated and the few boys in the town didn’t catch her eye. Romance was new to her. She desperately hoped that Aaron would find her attractive. She was already sweet on him without even knowing him in person yet. His picture had already made a very positive first impression with her. She was hoping to fall deeply in love with him and he with her. She wanted a loving and passionate marriage. She hoped that wasn’t too much to ask.
Faith lived her life for the Lord and she truly believed that He had sent her on this mission. She wasn’t sure why, exactly, but all of her research had pointed her away from moving to Atlanta and into this mail order bride situation. She wanted to be in God’s will, but she hoped that The Almighty had some romance in store for her marriage.
She thought about this as she wrote and recorded everything. As she started to write more intimate thoughts about what she wanted her marriage to be, she decided that possibly she should write those thoughts in a separate diary. One that she wouldn’t share with everyone. Maybe she would only share that diary with her intended, Aaron. One day, maybe.
There was something truly amazing about the idea of reading her thoughts to him. It gave her a thrill to think of how he might react as he heard her thoughts of love before she ever saw him face to face. What would he be like? What would it feel like to kiss him? Would he hold her hand? Would they laugh together with the children?
If nothing else, she hoped that her talent in writing would help her to connect with the children who would become her new family. She hoped to share her stories along with some of her favorite books with the children, as well as her husband-to-be.
When the train finally pulled into the station eight days after she left Atlanta, Faith was tired but invigorated. She couldn’t describe the emotions she was feeling about meeting her future in this great place. She had read more about California during her journey and was encouraged by the bold stories. There was much going on in this state. She hoped to contribute positively to its legacy.
Crossing the country with short stops for meals didn’t give a girl much opportunity to be at her best at the end of the trip. She wanted to meet her intended looking crisp and bright instead of wilted and worn out. She put on her last clean dress the morning they were to arrive in San Jose and freshened up the best she could in the small water closet. She carefully brushed her hair one last time when the conductor called her destination station.
Faith stepped confidently off of the train when they were carefully stopped. She had done everything possible to make herself attractive and she knew without a doubt that she would be good for this little family. It was all in God’s hands now.
When she entered the main hall of the station, she recognized the man from his picture. The only difference was that the Aaron she saw in person was far more handsome than the picture could ever capture. She was taken by surprise at his dashing good looks. She knew him to be ten years older than she, but he looked youthful and strong.
She stepped up to him with a broad smile. “Aaron? Aaron Chapman? I’m Faith Barnesdale. Um, hello,” She stuck out her hand and he took it uncertainly. His lukewarm response made her uncertain and she felt a nervous laugh coming on. She pushed that down and tried to remain confident. She pulled her shoulders back, stood up straight, and looked him in the eyes with the smile still on her face.
“Yes, I’m Aaron. It’s nice to meet you, Faith. I trust you had a pleasant journey?” he replied. His voice was deep and masculine. He sounded educated and even a little sophisticated. That made her happy and sad at the same time. She was educated, though not formally after grade school, and she appreciated that quality. She was definitely not sophisticated and it was a risk that their differences in this area would be much to overcome.
She gulped down the nervousness she felt at her lack of elegance and tried to concentrate on him. “Yes, it was lovely. Traveling across the country so quickly is amazing! And I loved it. Thank you for your kindness of seeing to my passage.”
Faith could tell that he was uncomfortable and she had no idea why that could be. Many possibilities ran through her mind and none of them were good. Why couldn’t she assume he was just as tense about meeting her as she was about meeting him?
“My pleasure,” he responded, deftly avoiding looking her in the eye. “I, um, well I suppose we should retrieve your baggage. What did you bring with you?”
“I have two trunks and these,” Faith answered, holding up her valise and the smaller bag.
He nodded, “Let me take those from you and I’ll find a porter to handle the trunks. I’ll be back in a moment. Please wait here.” He turned and walked away with her bags.
Faith stood and looked around. The main hall was large and relatively unadorned. Not sure why, she had expected this station to be ornate and fancy. There were lots of people in the building. Some appeared to be waiting, like her, and others seemed to be in a rush.
“Your trunks are being loaded into the carriage now, so we can be on our way if you’re ready,” Aaron spoke from behind her. She didn’t expect him back so soon and was startled at his voice at her back. She wanted to make a joke to lighten the uncomfortable air between them, but that wouldn’t work at this point. They didn’t know each other well enough yet. She was hopeful that such a day would come. She took a deep breath, smiled, and turned to face him.
“Yes, I’m ready to go. Thank you for taking care of everything, Aaron. I appreciate all you’re doing for me,” said Faith sincerely as they turned to leave the building.
“You’re welcome.” He nodded his head toward the front doors.
He headed towards the exit and Faith followed behind him. The man she had come here to marry did not say another word as they wound through the maze of people. He simply made his way through the crowds without ever looking back at Faith. He didn’t even check to make sure she was still with him! This seemed strange to her, even rude, but she figured that he was overwhelmed just like she was. Their situation wasn’t completely common, so she was going to reserve judgement.
Faith hesitated for a moment as she vowed to give him time, then she wondered if perhaps she had made an error in judgement. She shook her head and decided that she needed to do this. She wanted to prove that she was capable of taking care of herself. Also, she had made a promise and she wouldn’t go back on that.
I will not allow Hope to be right! She thought with conviction before rushing to catch back up with the man.
As she dashed after him, she conti
nued to think about their arrangement. She rationalized that it wasn’t possible to know everything about someone else, even if you spent years with that person. The exchange of a few letters didn’t even begin to bridge the distance between two people. She kept reminding herself that relationships take time. She had plenty of time.
They made it out to the street and Faith followed Aaron to the horse and carriage that was his. The area was busy and there were horses and wagons everywhere. Aaron tossed her bags into the back next to the two trunks. He then turned to help Faith into the seat.
Then, as he lifted her up, her eyes connected with his and for a split second, she was sure that she felt the connection that she had hoped she would have with this man. However, to her dismay, he shook his head, completely dissolving any bond they may have shared. She was very confused at his reaction to being that close to her.
Finally, they were both settled into the carriage and on their way to Aaron’s home. Faith expected his mood to lighten. It did not. He seemed awkward and uneasy. She felt like he really had no idea what to say to her.
Trying to keep an upbeat tone, Faith ventured, “I’m so looking forward to meeting your children. You’ve told me just enough about them to intrigue me.” She smiled and looked over at him.
Surely talking about his beloved children will help him relax, she thought. Wrong again.
“Yep,” he replied. “They’re with their grandparents today.”
“I’m sure they enjoy being together. It’s wonderful that you’ve got them close to help out.”
“I suppose,” he responded.
Faith was tiring of this lukewarm welcome. She didn’t expect to be greeted with fanfare and overflowing affection, but she had hoped that Aaron would seem glad she was here. Was hoping he’d be interested in having a conversation unrealistic?
While it was true that a real connection would only come after they had spent some time together, they would need to make the most of that time. Now that they were together for a long drive to his home, it seemed as though her husband-to-be wanted to get away from her instead of get to know her.
Still trying to find the good, Faith didn’t give up. She wanted to make the best out of the situation, as she had done her entire life. She put a smile on her face and tried her best to make small talk. Longing to find a subject that would get more than two word sentences from him, she went through ever topic she could think of until she finally gave up.
As they drove through town, she realized how vastly different it was here from her home. In Georgia, there were green rolling hills and fields of peach trees and cotton. They had lived far enough away from Atlanta that city life was unfamiliar to her.
The city of San Jose was busy. They were driving through the edge of town and there was much to see. There were churches, newspaper stands, and produce markets. Cargo was being moved and delivered. The town was flourishing all around. She wanted to ask about the city, but the atmosphere between them brought out a reluctance to push him to talk.
Faith had read multiple success stories of people building happy lives in the west, but many of them told of dry ground, tumbleweeds, and cacti everywhere. She had been concerned about San Jose because it was an unknown area to her. She was now pleasantly surprised. The sycamore lined streets and green parks made her thankful that Aaron was a businessman and not a rancher. Being forced into desert-like geography was something she was sure she would hate.
As they drove further, the buildings became one story and were spread further apart. There were more houses and fields. They turned on to a road that appeared long and straight in front of them. Finally, Aaron spoke.
“This is the road that will take us out to my spread. Um, I mean home. It’s about just over an hour or so away, I reckon.”
She nodded, “I’m looking forward to seeing it. The way you described it in your letters was wonderful. I know I’m going to love it there.”
Faith looked over at him and was surprised that he was looking back at her. His gaze was one of wonder and she almost felt as though she was a novelty of some sort. She tried to not let that unsettle her and she smiled kindly at him. At her attempt to reach out, Aaron once again turned away and put his attention back to driving. Was there any way the two of them could have a relationship if he was unwilling to do his part?
The silence continued as they traveled. Faith quietly marveled at the stretches of wheat fields that lay just outside the city. How fast the city faded into farmland! There was a strawberry farm in the middle of the wheat when they were about forty minutes outside the city.
“What a lovely little strawberry patch!” exclaimed Faith, her caution forgotten in her excitement. “I’ve never seen one before. We rarely get strawberries. My father tried to grow some when I was little, but we only got a few berries. Not even enough to make a shortcake.”
He pulled the carriage up to a stand that was built on the edge of the farm. “Would you like to take some home? We can have shortcake for dessert, if you like,” he said.
“Oh, I’d love that! Thank you for being so thoughtful.”
He jumped from the carriage and went to her side. She had already gotten herself out when he got to her. She saw the look on his face and realized she had made a mistake by seeing to herself. He had wanted to do the manly thing and help her. She smiled at him even though he didn’t quite smile back and tucked her hand into the crook of his arm to walk to the strawberry stand. She hoped that would make up for her gaffe.
They tasted the fresh strawberries that had just been picked that morning. The sweet, tart flavor danced on Faith’s tongue. The taste of the fresh berries was luscious, but meaningful today since her only real memory of strawberries was tied to her father. She was happy to share such a fun experience with Aaron.
Could something this simple help them progress? She hoped so, but somehow she doubted that one shared event would make that much difference for them. Her untested intuition told her that the two of them were probably headed for some difficulties. If she was honest, she had expected difficulties. However, she was sadly unprepared to handle them.
They walked back with their basket of plump, ripe strawberries and started back to the Chapman home. Aaron became quiet again, just when she thought that maybe they’d had a small breakthrough. Instead of just accepting it, this time Faith decided to take a daring step. Somebody had to make an effort, right?
“Everything all right, Aaron?” Faith asked.
“Oh yes. Fine,” he smiled back at her. They continued their journey.
Faith waited several minutes to see if he would say more. When he didn’t, she pressed him further. “Aaron, you seem uncomfortable at the very least. We’ve exchanged many letters and you were never this reserved in your writing. What’s changed?”
He looked at her sideways and appeared to be embarrassed. His cheeks went pink and he took a deep breath but kept driving.
“Aaron, I hope I haven’t overstepped my boundaries. I didn’t mean to disconcert you in any way. I just want to figure out why we aren’t connecting.” Faith said this with sincerity, but if he didn’t respond to this attempt she was going to let it rest for now.
“Honestly, it has just been a little while since I was in the presence of a woman. Well, in this fashion, anyway.” He shrugged and continued, “It’s all a little bit strange to me. I hope you don’t mind me sayin’.”
Comforted slightly, now that he had given a reason for behaving so oddly, Faith was able to relax a little. If he was telling her the truth, then assumedly any woman would make him feel the same way. “I don’t mind,” she replied. “Truth be told, I’m nervous, too.”
He flashed her a grin and she couldn’t help but notice how handsome he was. His smile was contagious and she could see a bit of mischief hiding there. His dark eyelashes were thick and long making his eyes smolder. She was certain that he wasn’t trying to look so appealing. Her heart skipped several beats when she thought about how magnetic he would be when he
tried to entice her. She would dream of that day from now until it finally happened.
She wondered if all men from the west held the same allure of if he was just special. She knew that it wouldn’t matter one bit what the other men in California looked like, though. She was soon to be smitten with this one. She needed to get her wits gathered. She couldn’t let a grin, a confession, and her wild imagination get the best of her. Not yet.
He might be her husband-to-be, but she wasn’t about to fall for him right now. She was going to focus on getting to know him first. They would put their relationship together piece by piece and it would be strong in the end.
Faith did want to fall in love with Aaron and she knew she would. She has at least half way in love with him now, but she wanted the rest of it to happen naturally. She had always guarded her feelings very closely and she was cautious enough to not make assumptions that would put her heart in jeopardy.
If she only considered Aaron’s handsome face and strong body, she knew she could easily lose her head. Right now, his attitude was keeping it all in check. If he turned out to be a good man, it would be all over for her heart.
Still, she just focused on doing what was right for her. She quickly decided that she was going to take this relationship one step at a time, no matter what happened with it.
They remained quiet for the remaining ride home. He didn’t respond to what she had divulged to him and she didn’t feel the need to speak again. From time to time his eyes would wander over towards her. This made her self-conscious, but she didn’t give in to the strong urge to try to start another conversation. This had proven unsuccessful in the past, so she just sat beside him and took in the countryside as they passed.
She tried her best to ignore the uncomfortable silence that had settled and remained between them. It made her sad, but it also made her determined to find a way to make this work. By the time they pulled into the massive driveway to the main house, Faith had prayed and reminded herself of favorite scriptures to give strength in times of doubt and confusion.