by Annie Boone
“No. I won’t go. I’ll stand on the porch while you get a warm blanket. You can wrap yourself up and come out there with me. There will be no way Martha or Sam could see something improper in that.”
Faith thought for a moment. He seemed to be determined to say something else. She wasn’t sure she was up to hearing any more truth tonight, but she wasn’t sure she would sleep tonight, anyway.
“All right. Stand on the edge of the porch in I’ll be out shortly.”
Aaron smiled and nodded. “Thank you. I’ll be waiting.”
She closed the door and leaned on it for a long moment trying to get enough courage to see what he wanted. Finally, she wrapped up in the blanket and went outside to join him.
“Here I am, Aaron. Finish what you have to say.”
“I’m certain I’ve given you the wrong impression. I started out apologizing for all the terrible things that have happened to you since you arrived here. At my hand. I’m sincere about all that. I beg your forgiveness for my pig-headed way of handling all this. But what I was so clumsily trying to add to that was that I’ve been a fool for not seeing the gift that was right before my eyes.”
Faith remained silent. She still wasn’t sure of what he was trying to say so she let him continue.
“For the first time since Mary breathed her last breath, I actually want to get over her death. I don’t believe I wanted to do that until I met you. I was content to just get through the days any way I could. It took me a while to figure it all out, but I’ve no doubt now. I want to be an active part of my family again,” he then paused and grasped her hand before she could pull it away. Once again, he looked deeply into her eyes just before he added with a completely earnest intent, “I want you to be part of my family and part of my life.”
In what capacity did he want her to be part of his life? Faith thought as she stood there lamely with Aaron standing close to her, still grasping her hand in is. Instead of just waiting, she decided to be direct.
“You say want me to be part of your life. What exactly does that mean?”
Faith hadn’t pulled her hand away yet, though she wanted to and she knew that Aaron was taking this as a good sign.
“I want to marry you and to have a true marriage. In every sense of the word. We probably have a few things to work out, but this is what I want. I have no doubts about it at all.”
She nodded slowly. Her trust in him wasn’t solid and she was still trying to decide if he was sincere or if he just thought he was. She recalled how open to love she had been from the moment she received his formal invitation to come here. In fact, Faith’s feelings were the exact opposite of Aaron’s thoughts. She had hoped that this would be her love story from the start. She had come here for love and nothing else.
She had felt it instantly and even though she was hurt, she wondered why she was debating the idea of going through with this now, when he finally admitted that she had changed his mind. She should be jubilant and happy. At this moment, she was simply skeptical.
“I want you to teach me how to have faith again. I want to find my way back to God’s will.” He took a deep breath and looked down. She could see the resolve in his face when he looked up at her again. “This is what I didn’t say earlier that I should have said. I love you, Faith. I know there is a long way to go for us to get to a comfortable place, but I do love you. In every way.”
He says he loves me and he wants a real marriage. All the things I said I wanted. Now apparently I can have those things and I’m hesitating? she thought. She was in the process of talking herself into what she knew in her heart was the right decision, despite the deep sense of betrayal that she felt right now. And he’s asking for your help. He needs you. You told him he could count on you. Can he?
“So you’re saying that you want a marriage that isn’t for convenience? You want a real wife not a caretaker for your children and your house?”
Seeming instantly relieved, he answered enthusiastically, “Yes. My heart is open to you, Faith. Only you.” He smiled and said, “I will strive to never disappoint or hurt you again. Will you marry me?”
She nodded.
“Please say it, Faith. I want to hear the words.”
“Yes, Aaron. I’ll marry you.”
He immediately whooped and picked her up and swung her around causing the blanket to fall off.
“Aaron, please! Someone will see. Get that blanket for me!”
“I don’t care who sees! You’re going to be my wife!”
When he finally put her down, she grabbed the blanket and covered herself with it. She backed away from him toward the door. “I will see you tomorrow, my husband-to-be.” She blew him a kiss and went inside.
She heard him step off of the porch and start whistling an unrecognizable tune as he walked away. She listened to the melody as long as she could before he was out of earshot.
Aaron became like a new man. An enormous change had happened in that westerner.
When she woke the next morning, she had to think about the previous night intently to make sure that she hadn’t dreamed it. She walked into the sitting room and found the blanket she had discarded there before she went to bed. She decided that was proof enough that she wasn’t imagining it all. She and Aaron were actually engaged to be married. One day, they would be man and wife.
She finished her normal toilette and was about to walk to the main house. That’s what she’d done every day since she came to San Jose. When she stepped on to the porch, she saw Aaron waiting on her standing beside the wagon.
“Thought you might want a ride over to the house, my dear,” he said brightly.
Blinking back her surprise, she walked to the wagon where he stood. “That would be right nice. Thank you,” she replied.
“Did you sleep well, Faith?” he asked as he helped her into the wagon to the seat beside his.
“I did. Thank you. Looks like you did, too. You seem quite chipper this morning.”
He just smiled. “I feel like a whole new man. I am ready to take on the world now that you’ve officially agreed to be my wife.”
It was then that Aaron put his arm around her in a casual and natural way. She was shocked but he was so comfortable with the show of affection that she just went with it. She scooted in a little closer to him enjoying a glimpse into what she hoped was her future with Aaron as her loving and attentive husband.
“Don’t you have to go to the mercantile today? If so, you’re going to be late.”
“I’ll go later this morning. I wanted to see you first thing this morning. I guess owning the place does give me some flexibility,” he said teasingly.
“I suppose it does. While you’re gone today, I’m going to write to my family. I don’t think I told you, but I’ve not written to them since I arrived. I didn’t know what to tell them, so I just waited. Last night, I was going to write them today to tell what my next plan was. Of course, I’d have to have written the letter after I’d figured that out, but that was on my list of things to do today.”
“Your next plan is to marry me and become the woman who will raise my brood of children.”
“Two children isn’t exactly a brood, Aaron,” she laughed at his exaggeration.
“Well, there will definitely be more than two and you’re going to raise all of them,” he winked at her. Then he laughed when she blushed.
He reached for her hand and held it as they walked into the house from the wagon he had parked in front. “Stop being so forward, Aaron. We’re not married yet.”
“We will be soon. If you’re going to write to your mother and sisters, wouldn’t it be a good idea to go ahead and tell them our wedding date? We could go ahead and set a date now,” he ventured.
“I’m still feeling the sting of how I got here, Aaron. I know I’ll get beyond that, but is it wise to set a date before we know for sure we’re free of that distress?” she asked candidly. “I know this may be hard to hear, but I will only accept honesty as we move forw
ard.”
“Don’t worry about hardships for me. The most important thing is for you to be able to forgive me completely. I prayed this morning that God will use me to help you recover from that pain. I also thanked him for sending you to me. For the first time in years, I know He heard my prayer.”
“Oh, Aaron, I’m so touched by that. And I’m so happy that you’re feeling drawn to God again.”
“It’s because of you. There’s no other explanation. You’ve inspired me and I know you’ve prayed for me. Thank you for seeing past my selfishness.”
“So, if you could choose any day you want to get married, what day would it be?”
“A week from Saturday!”
“Hmm. I don’t think I can get it all together by then. What about a month from Saturday?”
“I can be happy with that. A month from Saturday. Are you sure?”
“Very,” she replied confidently.
“Send the details to your family. Tell them we’ll send train tickets to them in the next few days so they can be here with you. I can’t wait to meet them.”
“That’s so generous of you. I’m the luckiest girl in the world!”
“I couldn’t agree more,” he said slyly. They both laughed as they entered the kitchen for their first breakfast together.
After they had eaten, he went to his study to get his things for work. She went to the main room to write her letter. Her mood about writing this letter had changed completely and she was thinking of a clever way to share her happy news.
“Have you written that letter yet?” he asked, as he came to her side all ready to go into town.
“No, I’m just starting it. Why?” she looked up at him quizzically.
“Why don’t you ask your family if they want to stay after the wedding? I think it would be a great idea for them to move her permanently. What do you think?”
“I thought of that before I even came here myself. They weren’t interested. I wonder if I could change their minds now?”
“It would be a great thing if they moved into the cottage when you move out. That could be their home for as long as they want it. You see how it works out with Sam and Martha. We don’t have to see them if they don’t want to be seen. There would be privacy, even living so close.”
“I’ll ask them, but there might be resistance. Hope wants to do her thing in Atlanta and Mama doesn’t want to leave the place she lived with my father. Odd, I know. Maybe Charity will come without them. Who knows? The only thing that may cause a problem is selling the house and moving their things.”
He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “They will never have to worry about those things. I’ll handle all of it if they’ll agree to move.”
She jumped up and hugged him tightly. Then she stepped back when she realized how brazen she had been. He grabbed her and pulled her back to him. “Never be ashamed of showing affection to me. I will always love to receive your hugs. Always.”
Then he bent his head and kissed her. It was the sweetest kiss she could have ever imagined. His lips were soft and pliable. She knew that she would long for his kiss for the rest of her life when they weren’t together. As soon as they parted, she missed his lips.
And then when he left for work, she wrote the letter to her mother and sisters. She explained the details of her wedding and left out all the sadness of the weeks after she had first arrived. It was only important that they know that she was happy. She told them she would be sending tickets to them so they could come for the ceremony and that she couldn’t wait to see them.
The part of her letter that was the most tricky was explaining about the children. She had come here without sharing the news of their existence. They weren’t even aware that Aaron was a widow. She decided to be honest with them. She told them about Aaron’s first wife and about her death. She told them about Joseph and Sally and how adorable they were. She shared her uncertainty about how they would take that news and that she feared they would discourage her even more. She ended that part with the hope that they would forgive her for withholding those details.
She missed Aaron today and couldn’t wait for him to come home to kiss her and hold her and just be with her. She craved him now.
Life had taken a new course for Faith and it was one that made her content and happy. Since their engagement, Aaron had supper with she and the children every night. They would either play a game or read with Joseph and Sally before it was time for them to go to bed.
After the children were asleep, they would talk or read before he walked Faith to the cottage. Sometimes they even read the Bible together. This turn of events made Faith happy and hopeful that she would have the Godly husband she wanted.
The days in the main house had settled into a cheerful and comfortable scene. Oddly, this change happened almost overnight. The minute Aaron came to his senses, everything turned around and stayed that way.
The only blight on their happiness was that Sam and Martha Benton were still not exactly happy that their grandchildren were going to have a mail-order-step-parent. Faith tried to put herself in their shoes and be patient with them. This was a difficult task, however, and tolerance was hard to find sometimes.
About a week after they had set their wedding date, Aaron and Faith were having a quick breakfast in the kitchen. Aaron was about to head into the city for work when Faith stopped him.
“I know you’re in a rush, but could I run this idea by you quickly before you go?” she asked tentatively.
“Of course. What’s on your mind, my love?” he responded.
“You know I don’t mind that Mary’s parents live on your property, right?”
He nodded uncertainly, not sure of where this might be going.
“Because they are such a big part of the children’s lives, I think it’s important that we try to repair the relationship with them. We should tell them we’ve set a date. They will be hurt, probably, but shouldn’t they hear it from us?”
“I suppose. Honestly, I was hoping it would just work itself out.”
“It won’t, Aaron. I was thinking that we should invite them for supper tonight and tell them. I know it won’t be fun, but it’s the right thing to do. We’ve got to let them know – by word and deed – that we’re not going to cut them out of the children’s lives. What do you think?
“You’re a wise woman, Faith Barnesdale. And I’m quite thankful that you’re my woman.” Faith laughed. A mere week ago she would have blushed at this comment, but not now. She had come a long way in learning how a woman and a man communicate. Aaron, it turned out, was a good teacher when the hard shell was removed.
“I’m glad you agree. Just be prepared for a rocky meal tonight.”
“Maybe it won’t be so bad,” he replied. “They’ve got to accept it some time.”
He dropped a quick kiss on her lips and walked out the door to the buggy. As she watched him drive away from the window, she knew this was going to be more difficult than he would acknowledge.
Aaron made a point of getting home a little early that evening so that he could help Faith be prepared for the task of sharing their happy news with Sam and Martha. They were both certain that their happy news would not be received with happy responses. He was anxious, but Faith was a pack of nerves. She had prayed for strength today, but she was still on edge.
Her interactions with the older couple had always been contentious and no matter how much she tried to be gracious and pleasant, they never gave her an inch. She didn’t expect tonight to be different. In fact, she expected tonight to be much worse given the news that they were planning to share.
Joseph ran out to the porch when he saw them walking across the yard to the house. “Grammy! Pappy!” he called.
Faith’s stomach tied up in knots. Aaron took her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze as he walked by to go to welcome their supper guests.
“Martha. Sam. Welcome. Come on in,” he said to them as they stepped up to the front door. Sam smiled we
akly and shook Aaron’s outstretched hand as Martha brushed by him with no comment.
Faith was standing at the hearth when the couple walked in with Aaron. Joseph trailed behind. Sally was sitting at Faith’s feet and playing with a rattle.
“Isn’t she a little too close to the fire? You shouldn’t let her get that close. It’s not safe,” said Martha as she assessed the room when she entered. It was as if she was looking for anything and everything she could criticize.
Before Faith could react to Martha’s remarks, Aaron answered. “Martha, it’s perfectly safe for Sally to be there. Faith is there and has it all under control. Now, I’m glad the two of you are here. Mrs. James has cooked a roast that smells delicious. I can’t wait to dig into it. Can you smell it?”
Sam nodded. “It smells mighty good, son. I’ve looked forward to a meal prepared by Mrs. James all day. She’s a remarkable cook and you’re lucky to have her.”
Martha shot Sam a look of near contempt, but he ignored her. Faith sensed that one of the grandparents might be about to become an ally. Thank you, Lord, she thought as she saw a bit of evidence that her prayers had been heard.
“Looks like our supper is on the table. Shall we?” Faith gestured to the dining room. Aaron picked his daughter up and joined the others as they went to take their places at the table.
“I know it’s proper for the man of the house to say grace. I’d like to ask Faith to do it tonight since it was her idea that we get together for a meal. Faith?”
She nodded and bowed her head. “Our Father in Heaven, we thank you for the food you’ve provided for us now. Bless Mrs. James for the care she takes in preparing our meals. We thank you for the people who enrich our lives from near and from far. Help us be the beacon and light for these children and for each other. Soften our hearts to your guidance, Father, and make us see the path you’d have us take. Amen.”