by Sarah Hegger
“What will we play?” Alice dared a look at Mathew.
He took a few steps back.
“Dragons,” Richard said. “Mathew would like to play dragons.”
Her childhood had lacked many useful skills it seemed. “I am not sure I know how to play dragons.”
Richard gaped at her. “You are the dragon, and you chase us.”
“And?”
Richard and Mathew exchanged eye rolls. “You breathe fire.”
Both boys stared at her, poised and ready to play.
Richard leant forward, and whispered, “You need to roar.”
“Raaawr?” Alice felt ridiculous.
They blinked at her. Adam sucked on the edge of a sack, and she bent and took it out of his mouth. He immediately wailed a protest, and she handed it back to him.
“RAH.”
Mathew stepped back with a nod, but Richard crossed his arms. “We are not scared.”
Indeed. Her dragon was as frightening as day-old bread. A drudge swept the rushes, the swish of his broom rising above the fire’s crackle. A serving woman dusted around the casement.
Alice leapt at the boys with a mighty yell.
They screamed and scattered, Mathew bolting one way, Richard going the other. Their high-pitched voices clattered around the hall.
“I am going to eat you.” Alice raised her arms above her head and lumbered toward Richard.
Face alight with glee, he ducked around her and grabbed Mathew by the hand. “Come on, Mathew. I will not let her get you.”
“I will grind your bones to make my bread.” It sounded like a fine threat to Alice. “I shall use your hair to pick my teeth.”
Round-eyed, Adam sucked on his bean sack and grinned at them.
“Here I come.” The boys did not move that fast, and Alice stuck to her slow, side-swaying gait. Now that she played the game, it did not seem at all silly, and she kept up her flow of grisly threats. The grislier, the more the boys grinned and shrieked with delight.
Richard took to ducking behind her and plucking at her skirts.
“Who goes there?” Alice swung around.
“Me.” Richard danced away.
Mathew stayed on the outskirts, sticking close to Richard most of the time. He liked her roaring noises best and would stop running and collapse into a giggling pile on the floor.
Alice made a business of sniffing the air. “I smell little boy bones.”
Richard’s eyes widened and he clapped both hands over his mouth.
Mathew ducked behind him and giggled at something behind her.
“And I smell dragon,” William said.
With a shriek, Alice spun about. Caught playing dragon, and she wanted to run away and hide.
William grinned at her, and her cheeks burned. “What shall I do with this dragon, boys?”
“Slay her,” yelled Richard.
“I think I shall.” William lunged, grabbed her by the hips and upended her over his shoulder.
The boys cheered and capered about.
“I have my battle prize.” William toted her around the hall.
The drudge leant on his broom, laughing. The serving woman had stopped sweeping ashes and stood by her bucket, cheering William on and waving her brush in the air.
Alice flopped about on his shoulder like a sack of grain. She laughed so hard tears streamed as William paraded her about. Behind him came the three boys, marching and clapping.
“Put me down.” Alice tapped William’s back. All the blood had rushed to her head.
William lowered her to her feet. “Do you submit?”
His eyes bore a different, more thrilling message, and Alice grinned back at him. “I submit.”
“I am hungry,” Richard said.
“Me too.” William ruffled his hair. “This dragon-slaying is a hungry business.”
“Are you hungry?” Alice approached Mathew.
Huge eyes blinked at her for a long moment, and then he nodded. A tiny smile tilted the corners of his mouth.
“Abomination.” Sister appeared out of nowhere. Eyes wild, hands raised into claws as she ran at Mathew. “Get him away. Abomination.”
Closer than William, Alice leapt in front of Mathew and tucked him behind her.
Small hands fastened in her skirt as he pressed his face into her back.
William ran at Sister. He grabbed her about the waist before she could reach Alice.
“Get the abomination away from her.” Sister thrashed against his hold, clawing at his restraining hands.
“Stop it.” William shook Sister.
The edges of Alice’s vision darkened. Sister’s shrieks came from a long way off, echoing around her mind. A boy with features like Mathew, but not Mathew. His face grinning at her, slack jawed with spittle on his chin. The earth shifted beneath her, and she dangled above the water.
“Alice,” William’s bellow clattered around her brain as her stomach lurched and everything went black.
* * * *
William dropped Sister as he lunged for Alice.
She crumpled onto the floor in a rustle of skirts.
He caught Alice just before her head smacked onto the hard stones.
Donnchadh and Domnall rounded into the hall at a run.
“Hold her.” William jerked his head at the crone closing on Mathew.
Jesu, Mathew stood rigid, his mouth working as his breath rasped in and out.
Rage unlike any he had every felt coursed through William.
Domnall reached Sister first. Impervious to her screams, he snagged her flailing hands and pinned them behind her back.
Sister struggled against Domnall’s hold, arching her back and butting her head into his chest.
Donnchadh crouched before a sobbing Mathew. “There now, lad,” he said. “All is well. See, my big ugly brother has hold of her.”
Adam wailed, and Richard went to him.
Richard had gone pale as parchment. His lips trembled as tears streamed down his face. Still, he hugged his little brother close to him.
Dear God, he could rip her head from her neck for doing this to the boys. And Alice.
She stirred in his arms.
“Sweeting.” He clasped her against his chest. In his arms she felt feather light, too tiny and fragile. Mine. The roar built inside him. For Alice and the children, he contained it. “Alice, sweeting.”
Her lids fluttered opened. She frowned and blinked at him. “What happened?”
“You fainted.”
She tensed. “Mathew?”
“Donnchadh has him.”
Mathew leant against Donnchadh’s leg. Richard stayed close enough for safety while the big Scot held Adam in his arms.
Sister lay spent in Domnall’s hold.
“What shall I do with her?” Domnall shook Sister. He looked ready enough to do William’s bidding if he told the man to toss her from the battlements.
“Confine her.” William stood and hoisted Alice into his arms. “Find some place we can keep her until the Holy Sisters come for her. Somewhere she cannot escape.”
Domnall looked disappointed. He tugged Sister away. “It is a crying shame for me that my Da would whip me if I harmed a woman and a nun.”
Alice stared after them, tears in her beautiful green eyes. “Why?”
“I know not, sweeting.” William pressed his cheek to her head. “Do not worry about her now. Send for Ivy,” he said to Seamus who had wandered into the hall in his brothers’ wake. “Tell her Lady Alice is ill.”
“Can you find Beatrice and take the boys to them?”
Donnchadh nodded. “Come along, my brave lads. Let us find Lady Bea. I am sure she has something tasty for a man who has had such a scare.”
Aonghas had raised fine men beneath the bluster and brawn.
William carried Alice to their chamber.
“I have never fainted,” Alice said as he laid her on th
eir bed.
“Well you did today.” William would make sure Ivy got to the bottom of why. Perhaps the shock had overset Alice. He might have jostled her on his shoulder for too long. Either way, he would ensure Ivy discovered why.
* * * *
Alice wanted to ask Ivy about her puffy eyes and red nose, but the other woman seemed distant and preoccupied. If Alice knew her better, she would ask. Perhaps William could tell her more about Tom. Clearly, he meant a lot to Ivy.
Ivy checked her with firm, gentle hands. She listened as William told her what had happened and then pushed him out of the chamber.
William protested as Ivy closed the door in his face.
“When was your monthly?” Ivy settled on the edge of the bed.
Alice squirmed inside. Never had she discussed the curse of Eve with another woman. When her time first came, Sister had shut her in a room. Martha had explained why she bled and what it meant but only much later. For all of that long afternoon after Sister had locked her into her chamber, Alice had fretted about what ailed her. “I…”
Alice counted back, and then back a bit further. “Before my wedding.” An almost unbearably sweet hope bloomed inside her. Tears sprang to her eyes. “You do not think?”
Ivy squeezed her knee through her bliaut. “I think it is a definite possibility.”
Too scared to hope, Alice clenched her nails into her palms. “I have not felt ill.”
“Not all women do,” Ivy said. “And it may even be too early for that.”
She could not contain all the emotion welling up inside her and she grabbed Ivy’s hands. “How would I know for sure?”
“I am not the best at midwifery.” Ivy pulled a rueful face. “If Nurse were here, she would be able to make certain for you, but I only know about the other end of the process. The delivery.”
“What should I do?” Alice covered her belly with her hand. Dear God, she would make sure she protected the possible life inside her with all she had.
“Much as you are doing.” Ivy chuckled. “Eat well, go about your life as you do now. There is no need to lock yourself away from your husband unless you cannot bear him near you. Other than that, do not take any chances that you might fall and hurt the child.”
“I wish I knew for sure. Can you not…try?” Her flat belly mocked her. “I need to know.”
“Well, you must have missed at least one monthly if you have not had your time since before your marriage. I would say that bodes well. You say you have never fainted before.”
“I have not.”
“And that could be another sign. If you are with child, you should start to feel changes in your body.”
“Like what?” Alice wanted to peer past the skin on her belly and see inside.
“Perhaps you should ask Bea,” Ivy said. “She has had two children and knows far more than I. And”—Ivy leant closer—“she is not saying anything, but I suspect she has another on the way.”
“Why would she not tell?”
Ivy shrugged. “Garrett would worry more about her if he knew she was pregnant. And…” Ivy’s expression grew serious. “Many babies are lost in these early stages. I do not want to frighten you, but it is wise to wait until you are more certain.”
How would William feel when he got the news? She got ahead of herself. She did not even know for certain she carried a child. A nasty thought snaked into her mind. If William knew, would he leave her bed, see his job as done, and seek out other women?
“Why that face?” Ivy studied her.
“I am afraid,” Alice said, but she could not admit her real fear. Only a woman hopelessly lost in sin would admit that she feared losing her husband in her bed. “I do not know what to do.”
“Ask Bea.” Ivy stood and smoothed her skirts. “I could ask her for you.”
“Nay.” What Bea knew, William would know soon enough. She needed to tell him in her own time and way. She cherished each moment of wonderful William had gifted her, hoarded them to herself. She wanted to cling to her happiness for a while longer. At least until she knew for sure she carried a child.
Alice touched her belly. A child of her own. Please, Lord…
* * * *
Alice stood in the hallway outside Sister’s chamber and dithered. At this rate the dinner hour would come before she made a decision, and she irked herself. It had all been so simple before. She would have marched right to this chamber and shared her news with Sister.
Little Domnall—little referring more to his age than his hulking shoulders—stood guard outside the chamber. He leaned against the wall and watched her pace the corridor. Fortunately, he did not urge her to speak. She felt foolish enough.
Everything had changed, with Sister a twisted, dark stranger. Well, Sister had always leant to the bleak and joyless. Had she not seen it herself, Alice would not have believed Sister’s actions in the hall.
Guards had spotted the party from the convent this morning. Alice’s time with Sister grew short. Perhaps Sister would share her joy, and her possible pregnancy could restore the tattered strands of their bond.
Alice nodded to Domnall. “I am ready.”
Martha answered Domnall’s fist on the door. “Oh, it is you, Lady Alice. Sir William said I am to stay with her.”
“Is she overwrought?”
“Not anymore.” Martha rearranged her apron with a smirk. “I gave her some tea brewed by Mistress Ivy and she has slept like a babe ever since. She does a power of good with those plants of hers does Mistress Ivy.”
“She certainly knows them well.” Alice slipped deeper into the chamber.
“Sister Julianna was that upset when Big Domnall carted her in here.” Martha pursed her lips. “Mistress Ivy had to do some ministering to the poor lad, too. That scratched up he were, and Sister with her claws out giving it all she had.”
“Thank you, Martha.” Alice stood beside the pallet. “Could I have a moment, Martha, to say goodbye on our own?”
Martha snorted and jammed her hands on her hips. “I am going to tell you a thing or two, Lady Alice. And I never would have done so in the past, what with you here and Sister stuck to you like a burr. She may have raised you, my lady, but she did you no kindness.”
“Thank you. I—”
“Always railing on you about God and sin. Never a kind word or a cuddle for a lonely little girl. We saw it all, we Tarnwych folk, and it fair to made a body sick to see the way she treated a young girl like you. Squashed.” Martha mashed her fist into her palm. “Like chaff beneath her heel you were. All the life pounded out of you.”
“Mart—”
“And then that handsome Sir William comes here, and the sun comes out for our Lady Alice. Does a body a power of good to see your pretty smile when he is about.” Martha puffed her chest.
Alice stood and let her say her piece. Martha had suffered enough censure from Sister through the years to earn her right to speak.
“A blessing from God that man is. For all she calls him and his kin names and does those awful things. I saw her filling your head with her vicious nonsense and my heart fairly failed.” Martha sucked in a deep breath, and tears glittered in her eyes. “I thought your new man would go the same way as the others, but he’s a wily one. I told my boy, the moment I clapped eyes on Sir William, ‘He’s a wily one, that one. He will see Sister coming from a league off, he will.’”
Sister lay on her back, her breathing deep and even, her face relaxed. She looked peaceful, a harmless old woman.
“Then she started with her twistings and turnings afore Sir William had his knees under his table. Whispering to you. Trying to make Sir William look like a bad one.” Martha chuckled, evil enough to lift the hair on Alice’s nape. “But he saw her then, too. Kept his lip buttoned. Watched and waited and she wandered right into the fox’s den, she did.”
Sister had not made many friends in her years at Tarnwych. Here she lay, rendered senseless by Ivy’s
herbs and only Martha, who disliked her, would sit with her. What a terrible, lonely existence. In a keep the size of Tarnwych, Sister had not one soul who would bid her God be with you and shed a tear. All these years Alice believed only Sister stood by her. But perhaps, she was the only person for Sister.
“You are a kind one, Lady Alice.” Martha peered down her nose at Sister. “And she does not deserve a heart like yours to ache for her going, but you are the way you are. God bless you for it. I will wait outside until you are done.” Giving her a nudge hard enough to push Alice to the side, Martha chuckled. “That young Domnall will make a pleasure of the waiting.”
The door closed behind Martha.
Sister’s chin rested on the smoothed linens. Did it make her a bad person that she felt relieved that she no longer needed to decide whether or not to share her news with Sister?
“You could have given me a hug,” Alice said. “Or pinched my cheek and told me I had done well.”
Nay, Sister’s always instructed and corrected. Today, with the boys in the hall, Alice had played the first children’s game of her life. Sister did not approve of the keep children as companions.
Alice bent and kissed her dry cheek. “I may be with child. I shall love them, and cuddle them, and tell them every day how wonderful they are.”
* * * *
“There you are.” William strode down the passage.
Alice shut the door to Sister’s chamber behind her.
He nodded to Domnall and Martha. “I came to find my wife, cosset and spoil her in her illness, only to find her rampaging about the keep.”
Martha sighed and clasped her hands to her bosom.
“Hardly rampaging.” Alice worked up a wan smile for his benefit. She would not miss Sister, and that saddened her most of all.
William slid his arms about her waist. “Are you well?”
“I am.” And she was. In the chamber behind her lay the past, and before her, the future, which grew brighter every day. “I came to bid her God be with you, but she was asleep.”
“It is for the best.” William kissed her cheek. “I know you will be saddened to see her go.”
Alice could not accept his sympathy. “I do not think I will, and that makes me sadder than anything.”
“My Alice.” He drew her with him down the passageway. “You are so loyal. Beware of where you bestow that precious gift. Make sure the person you give it to is worthy of it.”