by Sam Hawken
Jack thought of Lidia and pushed away a dark feeling of self-reproach. All of this time he had been away from her, forcing her to stay with Bernardo and his family, telling her nothing. He did not know why he had done that, because Lidia was smart and strong and if anyone could handle it then it would be her. But she was only thirteen and he could not bring himself to lay that burden on her. ‘She’ll be all right,’ he told Gonzalo.
‘Even so, you shouldn’t be spending all your time with me. It’s no good for you, Jack. I told you why I’m doing this, but it’s different.’
‘It’s different for me, too,’ Jack said. ‘Marina got into this because of me, because of what I let her do. I’m not going to treat this like some job I can subcontract out. I want to do the heavy lifting.’
‘Then you have a decision to make,’ Gonzalo said.
Jack looked out through the sun-frosted windshield toward Fregoso’s apartment. He felt as though he’d been staring at it forever. He would recognize it anywhere. ‘I’ll go,’ he said. ‘But I’m coming back tonight. You haven’t slept in twenty-four hours. You need someone with you.’
‘I appreciate it, Jack.’
‘I’m just doing what I got to do.’
TWENTY-TWO
EVEN WHEN ALL OF THEM WERE TOGETHER, there was room enough at Bernardo and Reina’s kitchen table, but now there were two ugly spaces that no one filled. Bernardo tried not to look at them when Little Bernardo set out the flatware and made places for his sister and his cousin though they were not there. He thought that if he stared too long at the empty chairs, he would cry again and that was something he wanted to avoid at any cost.
Reina had made birria and she took charge of ladling the heavy, spicy goat stew into each of their bowls before her own. Then it was time for grace, when the family joined hands and the vacant chairs were even more obvious because they threatened to break the chain. Bernardo had no words. He left it up to his wife to say the blessing.
A covered plate of corn tortillas was passed around. Bernardo took one and dipped it in the birria. ‘What are we celebrating?’ he asked, and the flatness of his voice surprised him.
‘It’s always a good time to celebrate life,’ Reina said, and the look on her face silenced any reply.
Bernardo turned to Jack. ‘When will you go out tonight?’ he asked.
‘Soon.’
‘I wish I could go with you,’ Bernardo said.
‘It’s better if you are here.’
Lidia had been quiet for days, barely speaking to anyone. She spent time with the children, especially Leandra, but she was scarcely present when they took meals. Now she looked up from her birria and looked at Jack a long time before she said, ‘Do you think this is going to lead anywhere?’
Jack ducked his eyes from Lidia and concentrated on his bowl. ‘We have to hope so. There isn’t anything else.’
‘Is this guy just taking your money?’
‘No. No, he’s doing everything he can.’
‘Eat your food, Lidia,’ Bernardo said. ‘Don’t let it get cold.’
The meal proceeded without comment from anyone, with just the clink of spoons in bowls to accompany their taciturn eating. Bernardo found himself wishing Jack would go away quickly so he could return to his beer without self-consciousness. ‘That was great,’ Jack said finally, and he pushed away from the table. ‘I’ve got to go.’
Bernardo felt a rush of relief. ‘I’ll walk you out.’
Jack paused at Lidia’s side to kiss her on her head and hug her, but then he was out of the kitchen and to the front door with Bernardo just behind. They went out into the night and stopped at the gate for their own goodbye. ‘I’ll be back tomorrow sometime,’ Jack said.
‘Lidia will be here.’
‘I can’t leave her here much longer. School starts soon. We’ll both have to go back to Laredo.’
‘And the policeman?’
Jack looked down. ‘I guess he’ll have to go on without me.’
Bernardo put his hand on Jack’s shoulder. ‘Be careful tonight, Jack.’
‘I will be.’
Bernardo set the latch after Jack passed through the gate and went back inside reluctantly. He sat on the couch and twisted the cap off a beer, grateful for the smell and taste that followed.
‘Papá?’
He started a bit and looked and saw Little Bernardo standing in the shadows by the couch, the light from the television flickering over him.
‘What is it, Bernardino?’
‘Is tonight the night Tío Jack finds Patricia?’
‘You’ve never called him tío before.’
‘He is Marina and Lidia’s father.’
‘Their stepfather.’
‘It’s the same.’
For reasons he could not express, Bernardo suddenly felt a terrible sadness and he gathered up Little Bernardo in his arms and held him closely. ‘You are a very smart boy,’ Bernardo said. ‘For some it is the same.’
‘So will he find her?’
‘I hope so. I hope so very much.’
‘Goodnight, Papá.’
‘Goodnight.’
A tear gathered in the corner of Bernardo’s eye and he wiped it away. His next gulp of beer did not taste so fresh or clean and his face soured. There was some stupid thing on the television and he changed the channel angrily.
He knew Reina was finished in the kitchen when she appeared quietly beside him. She stood without speaking for a while, though Bernardo felt her holding it back. Finally she said, ‘I’m going to bed.’
‘I will be there soon.’
‘How much will you drink?’
‘Are you keeping track of it now?’
‘You don’t go out. You don’t help Jack. You just sit in front of the TV and drink.’
‘I’m waiting!’ Bernardo said sharply.
‘We are all waiting,’ Reina said.
‘What do you want me to do?’
Reina paused. He heard her sigh. ‘Nothing. Don’t do anything.’
She slipped away. Bernardo felt the urge to shout something after her, but he kept his silence. Better to open another bottle and concentrate on the artless, pointless images on the screen. He was glad when she was gone.
At some point after midnight he drifted and twice he jerked out of sleep to sit upright. His empty bottles were arranged on the floor by his feet, but he did not count them. He frowned because he could not avoid bed any longer. Even when she slept, Reina judged him.
The bell on the gate jangled once and was silent. Bernardo checked the time. It was almost two o’clock in the morning.
He rose from the couch and went to the front door. ‘Jack?’ he said out loud.
His fingers were clumsy undoing the locks, but he managed to get them open. Bernardo cracked the door to peer outside. He saw them.
There were four in the little courtyard in front of the house, figures turned black by the shadows thrown from the street-light beyond the wall. Bernardo did not look to see whether they were armed because he knew immediately that they were. He knew everything in a moment and then he slammed the door shut with his body.
Someone crashed against the door on the other side. Bernardo fumbled with the locks, catching the first one and hurrying to the next. He felt short of breath, but he forced himself to fill his lungs and shout, ‘Reina! Reina!’
Lights came on deeper in the house and Reina came out in her nightdress. Bernardo fastened the door’s chain before another heavy blow fell against it. The children emerged blinking with sleep before the danger came to them in perfect clarity and their eyes were wide open, their faces drawn.
‘Bernardo, what’s happening?’ Reina called to him.
‘Get the children out! Out through the back. Hurry up!’
‘What will you do?’
‘I will keep them here!’
Leandra started crying and Reina gathered her to her side. Little Bernardo seemed frozen, his mouth hanging open, and he did not react when
Lidia took his hand. ‘Papá!’ he shouted.
‘Go! Get out!’
The blows were falling faster and harder on the door and it jumped in its frame with every impact. Bernardo could do nothing but place his body in the way. He knew that if he backed away, the door would come crashing open and then there would be no escape for any of them.
One by one the children vanished through the kitchen with Reina just behind. She paused long enough to look back at Bernardo. Bernardo nodded to her. ‘I’ll be all right,’ he said. His voice had a terrible calm he did not feel.
Reina slipped away. They would all leave by the back door, which opened directly into an alley where neighbors left their trash for the sanitation trucks. They would be safe, so long as the men at the front had not sent more around to the back.
An especially strong crash against the door cracked the frame where the deadbolts were set. Bernardo sweated all over, his hands slick as he pushed back. How long before they broke a window and stormed in that way? He could not keep them out then and he could not fight.
At least two men pounded on the door, an irregular rhythm of kicks that Bernardo could feel even through the wood. He leaned so hard against the door that his bare feet slipped on the floor. A little longer. Reina and the children would be at the end of the alley by now. If they kept running, no one could catch them. They would find a house that would take them in. They would be all right.
He had never wished for an army patrol to pass his house before, but he wished for one now. They came in their trucks and Humvees and shone spotlights on the faces of the houses, or in windows. If they came now, they could not help but see what was happening. Bernardo would be saved.
‘Papá?’
Bernardo had been squeezing his eyes shut with exertion. He opened them. Little Bernardo stood an arm’s length away, still dressed in his short pajamas with a picture of Spider Man on the shirt. His eyes were dark and he trembled.
‘What the hell are you doing here?’ Bernardo demanded. ‘I told you to go with your mother! Go on! Quickly!’
‘I will help you,’ Little Bernardo said, and he laid his little body against the door under Bernardo’s arm. ‘We’ll stop them together.’
Bernardo’s eyes stung from sweat. ‘You have to go, hijo,’ he said. ‘This is no good.’
‘I’ll stay!’
‘Please go!’
The bolts in the door gave way all at once and Bernardo was thrown back from the door. He tripped over his own feet and fell sprawling with Little Bernardo beside him. Men boiled into the open doorway, their faces covered with black masks like those the police and soldiers often wore. The men had guns.
Bernardo closed his arms around his son as the men converged. ‘No, leave the boy alone! Leave him alone!’
Little Bernardo was wrenched away from him and someone hit him hard on the side of the head with something solid and metal. The room swam. He was dragged up onto his knees, strong hands on his shoulders. Little Bernardo was forced to kneel as well, and Bernardo saw his own terror reflected in the face of his son.
He was bleeding from his scalp. He was grabbed by the hair and a paper was thrust into his face. He saw the bold letters: DESAPARECIDO.
‘Is this yours?’ asked one of the masked men.
Bernardo nodded slackly. The flyer was thrown down in front of him.
‘You’re stupid and you don’t know what you’re doing,’ the masked man said. He brandished a pistol. ‘This is what happens when people are stupid.’
The pistol barely touched Little Bernardo’s head before it fired. Bernardino’s skull absorbed the blast and snapped over as if his neck had broken. One of his eyes was instantly shot through with red and the other rolled up white. The man holding him let him crumple.
Bernardo made a sound he had never made before, one that was not a word or a scream, but some anguished wail that welled up out of him and seemed to push back the ring of men, if only for a moment. He was blinded by his tears, which felt scalding hot and burned his skin. When the masked man turned the gun on him, there was no room for fear. Little Bernardo was gone.
PART FOUR
UNCHAINED
ONE
HE HEARD THE KNOCKING ON THE DOOR unconsciously, smothered by sleep, until finally he surfaced into wakefulness and realized where he was. Jack threw the thin sheet off him and got up. At the door he asked, ‘¿Quién es?’
‘Sr Jack Searle? My name is Lieutenant Patricio Casiano. I am under the command of Captain Alvares.’
Jack did not open the door. ‘What do you want?’
‘Captain Alvares wishes to see you urgently. It can’t wait.’
‘Give me a minute.’
His jeans were draped over the back of the room’s only chair. Jack pulled them on and found a clean T-shirt to wear beneath yesterday’s work shirt.
When he opened the door he saw a short man and a second soldier. The shorter man extended his hand without smiling. ‘Sr Searle,’ he said.
‘What’s this about?’
‘Something terrible has happened. Captain Alvares must see you immediately.’
‘Did something happen to Gonzalo?’
‘No, señor. It is your family.’
Jack’s knees went weak. He caught the frame of the door and kept himself from swaying. ‘My stepdaughter?’
Casiano’s face was stone. ‘Your stepdaughter is Lidia Cobos?’
‘Yes. Is she all right?’
‘She’s fine, Sr Searle. But there was an attack last night and she was in great danger. I did not want to be the one to tell you this, but Bernardo Sigala is dead. I understand he was your brother-in-law?’
‘What about… what about the rest of Bernardo’s family?’
‘Sr Sigala’s son was also killed.’
‘Oh, my God.’
‘Please, Sr Searle. Come with me.’
Jack was barely conscious of locking the hotel room door behind himself, or of being led down the stairs to the street. Put in the passenger seat of a pick-up truck manned by two men with automatic rifles, he was shuttled through the city, but he saw nothing and heard nothing along the way. When they reached the police station, it was like an awful dream he was having with his eyes open.
Lieutenant Casiano brought Jack to the office where Captain Alvares was. Alvares’ aspect was funereal and without being prompted he rose from his desk and came to Jack to clasp him by both arms. ‘Sr Searle,’ he said. ‘You have my deepest sympathy.’
‘How did it happen?’ Jack said, and his voice seemed far away.
‘Sit down. I will tell you everything we know.’
‘I think I’ll stand if that’s okay.’
‘I understand.’ Alvares went back to his seat. He had a set of photographs on the desktop in front of him. Jack did not look at them closely because he saw man-shapes and the brilliant red of blood. He did not want to see Bernardo dead. He did not want to see Bernardino dead.
‘Where is Lidia?’ Jack asked.
‘She is upstairs. We have a place for officers to sleep between shifts. She and her relations are being made as comfortable as we can make them.’
‘I’d like to see her.’
‘Very soon.’
Jack could not find the strength to argue.
‘Last night in the early morning hours, some men attacked your brother-in-law’s house,’ Alvares said. ‘Sr Sigala was quick enough and strong enough to hold them off until his family could escape. For some reason his son broke away from his mother and returned. When the men gained entry to the house… they were killed.’
‘Was it painful?’ Jack asked. He felt like a voyeur as soon as the words left his mouth.
‘They were shot in the head at close range. I doubt they felt anything at all. But your brother-in-law, he was mutilated after his death. The intruders took his head. We don’t know where.’
‘Jesus Christ.’
‘I’m sorry that I must tell you these things,’ Alvares said. ‘I wish I did
not have to.’
‘Did they do anything to the boy?’
‘No. He was left alone.’
‘I think I’ll sit now,’ Jack said, and he fell into a chair. His body felt weighted.
‘We found with their bodies a copy of a flyer your brother-in-law had been distributing in the area where his daughter went missing. You were aware of these flyers?’
‘Yes. He put up a couple hundred of them.’
‘As of this moment we think that’s why he was targeted.’
‘Who would target him?’
‘There could be many culprits, but in this city the most likely ones are found among the Zetas. You are familiar with Los Zetas?’
Jack nodded his head mutely.
‘The Zetas will strike at anyone who catches their attention,’ Alvares continued. ‘If the flyers were put up in an area they control, they might wish to send a message.’
‘It’s because of our girls,’ Jack forced out.
‘What do you mean?’
‘That cop, Guadalupe, and his partner are in with the Zetas. They know we’re on to them. This was them trying to shut us up.’
Alvares carefully gathered up the photos and put them inside a folder. If he had meant to show them to Jack, the moment had passed, and Jack was grateful. ‘We don’t know that for certain,’ Alvares said.
‘What else could it be?’
‘People die in Mexico for all sorts of reasons. We cannot make assumptions.’
‘They killed Bernardo to make us back off!’ Jack said with sudden energy. ‘It’s the only thing that makes sense! For God’s sake, don’t you people see? You’re as bad as Gonzalo!’
‘I don’t understand what you mean,’ Alvares said.
‘I thought you people were fighting a war here! This is the enemy we’re talking about. They killed Bernardo and his boy and they would have killed them all if they had half a chance. I have one girl missing and my other stepdaughter could be dead right now!’
‘Sr Searle, please calm down.’
‘What am I supposed to do, just sit and wait for you to come to your senses? Who else has to die before someone does something?’