Lock, Stock, and Feral

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Lock, Stock, and Feral Page 16

by Addison Moore


  “Bizzy”—Emmie moans as she swallows down one last bite of her lobster pie—“the new menu is the stuff of my dreams. Thank you for making them all come true. I’ve wanted to revamp that menu for years.”

  “The old owner wouldn’t have approved, but I’m glad I did. Best decision ever,” I say as Jasper, Leo, Macy, Georgie, and Juni join us out on the back patio of the Country Cottage Café. The sun is out, the skies are clear, the scent of burgers on the grill is making everyone moan with delight, and the waves look so inviting, even someone as deathly afraid of large bodies of water like myself is almost enticed to run into the sea. Almost.

  I glance out at the cove and catch a glimpse of Sherlock, Cinnamon, and Gatsby running around on the sand. I’m happy Gatsby decided to brave the sand in order to have fun with his friends. And while they do that, Fish and Clyde enjoy a lazy nap, curled up together on a chair to my right. It’s nice to see that Fish has finally taken to Clyde as well.

  I nod back over at Emmie. “And the menu is just perfect for summer. Speaking of summer,” I say as I look at Leo and Emmie, “the two of you are staring down the matrimonial barrel. I’m so excited, you’d think it were Jasper and me getting married all over again.”

  Emmie gasps. “Why don’t you do it? The two of you should renew your vows right alongside us. You know I’ve always wanted to have a double wedding.”

  “No way,” I tell her. “This is your special day. Jasper and I will renew our vows in silence as we watch the two of you. Nothing is going to steal your spotlight.”

  Emmie’s expression dampens on a dime. “Not even a killer?”

  “Not even a killer,” I’m quick to tell her.

  “Come on, Bizzy.” Leo smirks. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

  “Watch it.” Jasper crumples a napkin and tosses it his way.

  Emmie reaches over and gives my hand a squeeze. “I’m just glad I’m on the right side of the law. I’d hate to have you on my tail. And Jordy says thanks for catching the killer, too. You’re our hero, Bizzy. I think you deserve a cape made out of wonky quilts.”

  “You’re hysterical.”

  “I’m being serious,” she contests.

  Georgie lets out a horrid groan, and for a moment everyone is set on edge, half-afraid she’s about to regurgitate her meal.

  “Are you okay, Georgie?” I ask in a panic.

  Juni waves me off as she works to shell another crab leg. Both she and Georgie had the deluxe seafood tower—one apiece. It’s meant to be shared by six to eight people, but the last time I pointed it out, Georgie gave me the finger—with a crab claw, of course.

  “Mama’s just fine,” Juni snorts. “She just needs a reset before she can go in for more.” She slaps her mother on the back and Georgie lets out a horrid belch.

  “Took you long enough,” Georgie says as she stretches her arms to the sky as if she hadn’t a care or a bellyache in the world. “Now let’s see about getting some of those pistachio pudding cookies for dessert.”

  “I’m on it.” Emmie spikes out of her seat just as Macy moans something that sounds sickly.

  “What is it, Mace?” I lean her way. “Do you want me to swat you on the back as well?”

  “Do it and die.” My sister has never been one to mix words. Macy had the surf and turf special, along with the clam chowder bowl and the coconut shrimp and pasta combo. She’s never been one to turn down a free meal either.

  She moans again as she points toward the walkway, and I turn to find Huxley, Mackenzie, and my mother heading over. Huxley and Mackenzie were kind enough to head to the airport with my mother to pick up her mysterious new beau.

  The entire lot of us scrambles to our feet and meets them halfway. Hux looks ready for a day at the beach, a vast difference from his usual attire of a suit and tie. Mackenzie is a diehard with those power suits. She’s donned a forest green one, and speaking of the hue that nature loves so much, she looks a little green around the gills. Her stomach is starting to take shape, though, and it warms me to think that’s my niece or nephew cooking in there.

  Mom is in full preppy mode with a powder pink button-down blouse with the collar popped, tapered jeans, and a sourpuss on her face that can mean many things.

  “Well?” Georgie cranes her neck past them. “Where’s your Romeo, Toots? Is he parking the car?”

  Juni nudges her. “I bet he’s in the men’s room. It’s been a long trip for him.”

  Huxley crosses his arms as he looks at my mother. “Well, you want to tell her?”

  “No,” Mom bites back. “I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone. I don’t even know why you brought me down here. I told you I wanted to be dropped off at home.”

  “I’ll tell them,” Mackenzie snips as she gives us a beady-eyed look that suggests we shook down her mother for money. “We got to the airport—two hours away.” She takes a moment to shoot Mom the side-eye. “Only to discover that Ree wasn’t exactly sure which airline he was on—nor did she know what time his plane was landing.”

  “He said noon!” Mom clenches her fists. “And how many airlines could there be coming from France at that time, anyway?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” Hux relaxes his shoulders with a look of defeat. “There wasn’t a Romero on any of them.” He looks to Macy and me. “She doesn’t even know the guy’s last name. And the kicker?”

  Mackenzie pulls Hux back. “She gave that shyster another five grand last night, and that’s the last she heard of him.”

  “Oh, stop.” Mom turns toward the ocean while holding herself. “I’m an old fool, and I was taken advantage of. I’m not the first one, and I won’t be the last.”

  Georgie sags at the thought. “I’m sorry, Preppy. I’ll cut you in on my Rent-a-Grandma gig, and I’ll only charge you a thirty percent finder’s fee.” Georgie and Juni swoop to her side, and the three of them take off in the sand a few feet away.

  I’m about to go over and join them when I spot Devan Abner headed this way with a large-brimmed hat and a sundress.

  Jasper takes up my hand, and we head in her direction.

  “Devan,” I say, surprised to see her. “You look great. Ready for a day at the beach?”

  Fish, Clyde, and Sherlock run up, leaving Cinnamon and Gatsby to continue to kick up sand as they chase one another to the shoreline and back.

  “I came to say thanks, Bizzy.” Devan offers a mournful smile. “And thank you, Detective, for sussing out the killer among us. The Grim Readers are typically a peaceful bunch, and we want to stay that way.”

  “It wasn’t me.” Jasper wraps his arm around my waist. “It was all Bizzy.”

  “Thank you to you both,” she says, cooing down at Fish and Clyde before scooping them up into her arms. “At least now my farm can get back to normal. Rumors started to spread after the sheriff’s department turned up in droves that day to take samples. And now that I’m in the clear, my phone has been ringing off the hook all day—taking in more orders than I can handle. I guess people love an underdog.” She pecks a kiss to Clyde’s cheek. “How about this little cutie? If you’re still looking for a home for her, she’s welcome to come and live at the farm with me.” She looks down at the orange sweetheart. “How would you like to be in charge of catching all the mice, kiddo?”

  Can I, Bizzy? Clyde’s tail whips back and forth like a pendulum.

  “I guess it’s a match made in mushroom heaven,” I say.

  Sherlock barks. I’ll come visit, kiddo.

  Fish pats Clyde over the top of her head. And I’ll be there, too.

  Devan laughs and cries and rocks Clyde as if she were her brand new baby, and for all practical purposes, she is just that.

  I’m about to offer her a cold drink on the house when I spot a redheaded bombshell traipsing over in an itty-bitty bright red bikini and a pair of cherry red heels to match.

  Here comes trouble, Fish murmurs, and I agree with her completely.

  “Jasper!” Hadley’s eyes light up
as she waves and heads this way.

  “Come on,” I say as Jasper and I take a few steps in her direction.

  Hadley lunges at Jasper and collapses over him with a firm embrace. “I didn’t get a chance to thank you for your bravery.” Her hands swim up and down his back, and don’t think the fact she’s pressing herself into him as much as possible has slipped by me. Any harder, and she’s going to leave a dent.

  He pulls back and looks my way Sorry. I wanted no part in that.

  “Oh, Jasper.” She curls her finger under his chin, forcing him to look at her. “How did I ever let a man like you slip through my fingers?” I’m not holding back anymore. Bizzy is just going to have to find another man. “I’m glad we’ve reconnected. I’ve missed our friendship.” Among other things. “We’ll have to get together. I still have so much to tell you about the baby, the pregnancy.” And that’s one lifetime bond that will hold us together. Not even his dizzy busybody wife could lay claim to him in that way. Sure, the baby was a figment of my imagination, but desperate times call for fictional babies.

  “What?” I squawk so loud, a couple of seagulls overhead squawk right back. “You lied? You lied about losing Jasper’s baby? Because there was no baby!”

  Hadley’s mouth rounds out as she looks from me to Jasper. “I didn’t say that. She must be jealous. I’m so sorry, Bizzy. But I would never make up something so heinous.”

  Jasper groans as he looks at her in a whole new light. “Hadley, you lied?”

  Her mouth opens that much wider. “I can’t believe you’re just going to believe whatever she says.”

  “She’s my wife, and unlike you, would never make something like that up,” he tells her. “Why did you do it?”

  She shakes her head. “No, it was true. I swear it.” What are they going to do? Ask for proof?

  “Yes.” I give a wild nod. “Give us proof.”

  Hadley gasps as her eyes widen my way. “Well, I—”

  “Leave,” Jasper says it harsh like a reprimand.

  “But Jasper”—she grabs ahold of him in desperation—“I saw what a mistake I had made. I never should have left. It was stupid. I thought I loved someone else for a hot second, but over the years I’ve come to realize it was just you who my heart belonged to. We could still have it all. We can make an entire tribe of babies. We’re right for one another, you and me.”

  “No, we’re not. You did me the biggest favor when you left that day. I may not have seen it then, but I do now. Bizzy is the one and only woman for me. Please leave.”

  Fish yowls at the woman, and Sherlock barks until she turns around and struts off with a huff. And both Sherlock and Fish escort her right off the property.

  “Jasper.” I pull my handsome husband in hard and mourn with him one more time over a child that never existed. “That was cruel. But I promise you we’re going to have children one day.” I pull back with tears in my eyes as I look at my sweet husband. “As many as you want—as long as it’s under five.”

  His chest rumbles with a quiet laugh. “As long as you’re by my side, I’ve already got all the family I need. But a couple of miniature versions of yourself would be adorable, too.”

  “And a couple of miniature versions of yourself would be pretty cute as well.”

  We share a mouthwatering kiss that says I love you as we assure one another the future is ours alone.

  “Ree?” a husky male voice shouts from behind us, and we pull back to see a tall, muscular man with an ear-to-ear grin waving at my mother from the sand. He has a head full of black hair, comely features, a navy suit on and a bright red tie that sits slightly askew. There’s something familiar about him, but I can’t pinpoint just what.

  “Romero?” my mother balks in disbelief, and soon everyone in the vicinity gasps in disbelief as well—with my brother, sister, and me leading the pack. “You’re here!”

  “That’s right.” He jogs over to her and pulls her into an embrace before spinning her in a circle.

  Huxley staggers their way. “What in the hell?”

  I shake my head at the sight as we watch, amazed, as my mother and her mystery man share an embrace for the ages.

  Romero, the man-hungry scam artist, is not only real—he’s right here in Cider Cove.

  My mother pulls back and laughs as she looks to all of us gathered around them.

  “See?” She points his way. “I knew he wouldn’t let me down. He’s almost too good to be true.”

  That’s exactly what I was thinking.

  Something tells me he’s about to prove to all of us that he is, in fact, too good to be true. A shiver runs up my spine as I inspect Romero’s cheesy grin.

  Trouble has come to Cider Cove, and I have a feeling it’s going to be a long, hot summer.

  ***Thank you for reading!

  Need more Cider Cove? Grab yours here —> Itching for Justice (Country Cottage Mysteries 16)

  My name is Bizzy Baker, and I can read minds—not every mind, not every time but most of the time and believe me when I say it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

  A cooking competition is taking place at the inn and a celebrity chef is set to grace us with his presence along with his fabulous food. The best part? It’s the exact chef I’m hoping will cater my best friend’s wedding in just a couple of weeks. Along with that the mystery man that was catphishing my mother has suddenly shown up in Cider Cove, and I don’t trust him as far as I can throw his rock hard body. Speaking of bodies—I seem to have stumbled upon another corpse. But lucky for me, a perfectly adorable Samoyed works right alongside me and my sweet pets to help try to solve the case. But if we don’t solve it soon, it will be a recipe for disaster.

  Don’t miss out! Grab yours here —> Itching for Justice (Country Cottage Mysteries 16)

  *Ready for a brand new series? Welcome to Glimmerspell! Grab a copy NOW—> Midlife in Glimmerspell (Hot Flash Homicides 1)

  An impending divorce. A hot homicide detective. And spontaneous time travel.

  Midlife in Glimmerspell is proving to be magical.

  If I thought the first half of my life was a bumpy ride, I’d better buckle up because I’m about to go over the hill and off the rails.

  After catching my husband in bed with another woman, I gave him the heave-ho, put our house on the market, and moved away to an enchanting little town for a brand new start. What I didn’t count on was the fact that enchanting little town might just be—enchanted.

  Glimmerspell is rumored to be home to vampires, werewolves, and fae, but those are just simply gimmicks to lure tourists to their snowy little town—aren’t they?

  Nevertheless, I’ve got a job at the Haunted Book Barn where my niece films her infamous video blog—Murder, Mayhem, and Baking. She’s somehow wrangled me into helping out with whipping up the sweet treats, and in the middle of filming an episode a hot flash strikes and I’m transported to another time, place, and another day entirely.

  If I thought the first half of my life was a bumpy ride, I’d better buckle up because I’m about to go over the hill and off the rails.

  Midlife in Glimmerspell can be a real killer.

  Grab a copy NOW—> Midlife in Glimmerspell (Hot Flash Homicides 1)

  Recipe

  Country Cottage Café

  Pistachio Pudding Delights

  Hello, it’s me, Bizzy! If ever there was a comfort cookie that has that extra something, it’s this one. Emmie’s pistachio pudding delights are just that—delightful. And since they’re green, they’re a fun addition to the holidays as well. Enjoy!

  Ingredients

  1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

  ¾ cup firmly packed light brown sugar

  ½ cup granulated sugar

  1 ½ teaspoon vanilla extract

  1 egg

  1 three ounce package of pistachio instant pudding mix

  2 teaspoons baking powder

  ½ teaspoon salt

  ½ cup chopped pistachio nuts

  3-4 drops o
f green food coloring

  Directions

  Preheat over to 375°. Line two baking sheet pans with parchment paper.

  In a large bowl whip butter, brown sugar, and granulated sugar until light and fluffy, then add in vanilla and egg until well blended.

  Add in pudding mix, flour, baking powder, and salt. Mix well until a dough-like consistency is achieved.

  Toss in chopped pistachios and drop in food coloring, mixing well into the dough.

  Roll dough into walnut-size balls and set on baking sheets about two inches apart.

  Bake for 10 minutes then remove from oven and let cool.

  *Emmie’s note: These cookies are perfectly chewy and delicious. The only crunch they yield is from the nuts. But I promise they are not only delicious, they’re addictive!

  Enjoy!

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